Whatever The Opposite Of Irony Is

I think that the notion of the butterfly effect is stupid, and not just due to the gayness of the name (the same goes for the rainbow connection, the soft parade, and sissy bars). If you want to get philosophical and introspective, that’s fine, but be pragmatic. There are billions of micro-events happening every second, and the omission of any one make won’t change anything. It’s a mathematical impossible, and besides, we’d all fear butterflies if their little flapping wings were changing election results and creating tsunamis. Go nerd out on chaos theory and Lorenz attractors if you must, but know that there’s any number of outcomes and event possibilities, infinitely changing and re-factoring probability.

I draw attention to the outcome of events, and how some actions have the potential to trigger or set up other reactions because I found two stories that seem to have played themselves out to a reasonable yet unexpected conclusion. What is beyond irony?

On Wednesday, a police officer walking into a doughnut shop was shot in the head, as it was being robbed. The robber left the shop, but returned to pick up officer Charles Cassidy‘s gun, and then fled. Police swarmed the North Philadelphia neighborhood, but the gunman is still at large. Cassidy, had surgery but died a day later. Wounds to the forehead where the bullet passes through your brain tend to be fatal.

Meanwhile in California, hundreds of sex offenders are declaring themselves homeless (truthfully or not) which is making it difficult for the state to track them. Jessica's Law, approved a year ago, bars registered sex offenders from living within 2,000 feet of a school or park where children gather, leaving few places where offenders can live legally. California's law requires parolees to live in the county of their last legal residence, but in San Francisco, for example, all homes are within 2,000 feet of a school or park. Nice. And offenders who declare themselves homeless must tell their parole officer each day where they spent the previous night.

Living in a world where cops are getting shot at donut shops and sex offenders are rendered homeless by virtue of overlapping laws is surreal, yet unsurprising. It seems like a natural result, and so obvious that it would be overlooked save when it makes news.