Ryan Gosling may make a film about a his life-sexed sex doll tolerable to your girlfriend, but she’ll still freak the hell out if she finds you have one.
Lars And The Real Girl prominently features the Real Doll, a silicone and endo-skeletal creation that is fully poseable and fully penetrable. These things have been around for years, but for most of you regular people, this is strange new territory. Customers can customize their doll to have one of 10 body types, 16 faces and 17 hairstyles, plus varieties of skin tones, hair and eye color, and makeup. They can even decide if she’ll have hardwood floors, a landing strip, or something more retro.
Abyss Creations, who makes the Real Doll, will ship over 400 dolls to the U.S. and abroad this year — at upward of $6,500 each. For many doll owners as well as Gosling's character in the film, they consider the dolls companions, each with her own personality and presence.
"She looks like a person," says Rob McKay, who owns two dolls, Lily and Eden. Those threesomes must get hot, with all the bending and positioning and rearranging like furniture. "Even though she's not a breathing person, psychologically you feel like someone is with you. They're like a balm for loneliness or aloneness." Almost. You apply balm on them before you turn them into a receptacle for your loneliness. Or aloneness. Or whatever made up word you use to describe that fact you sex up a mannequin and pretend it’s a person (and of course it looks like a person – who’s going to hump on something that doesn’t look like a person…wait, I have an idea!)
McKay continues, "That's where she's done the most good, reducing the feeling of solitude.” He also admits prefers intimacy with a live partner but hasn't had a girlfriend since 2001. Big shock.
By the way, I’m glad it’s not this Rob McKay - that would be wrong on so many levels.
McKay and other doll owners, who share their stories and photos online, compare the life-size ladies to "teddy bears for adults." A member of their online forum who goes by the creepy handle Doll Luvr says his doll "is far more than just an expensive sex toy."
"She sleeps with me, watches TV with me, sits at the table and has coffee with me," he writes. "Just having a female shape laying next to me in bed is very comforting." Spoken like a true serial killer. Remember ladies, if you meet a guy that uses the term “female shape” in a non-specific context like that, authorities will likely refer to whatever parts of you they find as being in the shape of a female.
Ready for more chillingly gross commentary from McKay? The dolls "inspire imagination," he says. "You put what you think into the doll, so you're projecting part of yourself onto this inanimate creature and making her seem more lifelike." Must I even go near that statement? Projecting part of yourself while you’re inspired to imagine things about an anatomical doll? Points for coming up with such an elegant way to say you masturbate into a sex toy, but still…
Gosling's character in the film gets emotional, but never physical, with Bianca, which seems to defeat the purpose of shelling out big money for it. But whereas Lars is delusional and believes the doll is alive, most doll owners "know where to draw the line," McKay says. Most? Yes, drawing the line at taking her to your nephew’s wedding or having arguments over dinner at the corner restaurant, well, that’s not okay.
I felt up a Real Doll at the Erotic LA, and only for a second, which says something about what touching a fake boob does to your psyche, even when you’re surrounded by porn stars and a warehouse full of dildos – the vagina kind, not the middle aged creeps in attendance.
Lars And The Real Girl prominently features the Real Doll, a silicone and endo-skeletal creation that is fully poseable and fully penetrable. These things have been around for years, but for most of you regular people, this is strange new territory. Customers can customize their doll to have one of 10 body types, 16 faces and 17 hairstyles, plus varieties of skin tones, hair and eye color, and makeup. They can even decide if she’ll have hardwood floors, a landing strip, or something more retro.
Abyss Creations, who makes the Real Doll, will ship over 400 dolls to the U.S. and abroad this year — at upward of $6,500 each. For many doll owners as well as Gosling's character in the film, they consider the dolls companions, each with her own personality and presence.
"She looks like a person," says Rob McKay, who owns two dolls, Lily and Eden. Those threesomes must get hot, with all the bending and positioning and rearranging like furniture. "Even though she's not a breathing person, psychologically you feel like someone is with you. They're like a balm for loneliness or aloneness." Almost. You apply balm on them before you turn them into a receptacle for your loneliness. Or aloneness. Or whatever made up word you use to describe that fact you sex up a mannequin and pretend it’s a person (and of course it looks like a person – who’s going to hump on something that doesn’t look like a person…wait, I have an idea!)
McKay continues, "That's where she's done the most good, reducing the feeling of solitude.” He also admits prefers intimacy with a live partner but hasn't had a girlfriend since 2001. Big shock.
By the way, I’m glad it’s not this Rob McKay - that would be wrong on so many levels.
McKay and other doll owners, who share their stories and photos online, compare the life-size ladies to "teddy bears for adults." A member of their online forum who goes by the creepy handle Doll Luvr says his doll "is far more than just an expensive sex toy."
"She sleeps with me, watches TV with me, sits at the table and has coffee with me," he writes. "Just having a female shape laying next to me in bed is very comforting." Spoken like a true serial killer. Remember ladies, if you meet a guy that uses the term “female shape” in a non-specific context like that, authorities will likely refer to whatever parts of you they find as being in the shape of a female.
Ready for more chillingly gross commentary from McKay? The dolls "inspire imagination," he says. "You put what you think into the doll, so you're projecting part of yourself onto this inanimate creature and making her seem more lifelike." Must I even go near that statement? Projecting part of yourself while you’re inspired to imagine things about an anatomical doll? Points for coming up with such an elegant way to say you masturbate into a sex toy, but still…
Gosling's character in the film gets emotional, but never physical, with Bianca, which seems to defeat the purpose of shelling out big money for it. But whereas Lars is delusional and believes the doll is alive, most doll owners "know where to draw the line," McKay says. Most? Yes, drawing the line at taking her to your nephew’s wedding or having arguments over dinner at the corner restaurant, well, that’s not okay.
I felt up a Real Doll at the Erotic LA, and only for a second, which says something about what touching a fake boob does to your psyche, even when you’re surrounded by porn stars and a warehouse full of dildos – the vagina kind, not the middle aged creeps in attendance.
big screen tv...check. Garfield clock...check. mounted sailfish...check.
confirmed - you're a creepy douchebag...time to have sex with the Real Doll!
No comments:
Post a Comment