Churchy Reading

The Knights Templar, like the Illuminati and the Freemason Society, has long enjoyed a mythic and mystic history of power and importance without having much in the way of proof or commonly known truth. Until now…

Straight out of the Vatican comes the publication of secret documents regarding the trial of the Knights Templar, including a long ignored parchment showing that Pope Clement V initially absolved the medieval order of heresy.

For those who don’t get your monthly conspiracy newsletter, know some history, or have yet to be awed by the mediocrity of The Da Vinci Code, here’s some background on the Templars.

The military order of the Poor Knights of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon was founded in 1118 in Jerusalem to protect pilgrims in the Holy Land after the First Crusade. They increased their military might and wealth, acquiring property throughout Europe and running a primitive banking system. After they left the Middle East with the collapse of the Crusader kingdoms, their power and secretive ways aroused the fear of European rulers and sparked accusations of corruption and blasphemy.

King Philip IV of France arrested and tortured Templar leaders in 1307 on charges of heresy and immorality, which has long been seen as a grab at their accumulated land and riches. When their Grand Master and his aides were burned at the stake in 1314, the surviving warrior-monks fled, though some were absorbed by other orders. Over the centuries, various groups have claimed to have descended from the Templars, and their legend has been attached to many unsubstantiated tales, including the Holy Grail.

So why all the fuss now? Did some young Templar children come to reclaim their birthrights and force the Vatican to remove the cloak of shame from their heritage? Is the church finally coming clean on history’s darker cover-ups? Could anybody not laugh seeing Tom Hanks’ goofy hairdo in that movie?

No.

The 300-page volume of records and church documents recently came out in a limited edition collection. Getting your mitts on one of those 799 copies will cost you $8,377. And you can thank the Scrinium publishing house, which prints documents from the Vatican’s secret archives. That’s a good racket to be in. Frightfully, I suspect they’ll sell the damn thing out, but considering the continuing wave of molestation settlements, why not get some money from Vatican, Inc. and whatever dumb saps will pony up such serious coin to have replicas of old church memos.