Freedom's Douchebag

Southwest Airlines -- fly the fashionable skies!

Their latest turn as Mr. Blackwell resulted in the need to apologize to a Florida passenger after an employee forced him to change out of a sexually suggestive T-shirt or risk getting thrown off the plane. The incident comes on the heels of a public uproar created by telling a woman on a flight in July that her outfit was too revealing for her to fly.

The issue of in-flight attire moved into the national spotlight when college student Kyla Ebbert showed up for a Southwest flight in July wearing a denim miniskirt and a summer sweater over a tank top. An employee objected and asked her to change or leave the plane and get new clothes. If you peep the picture, you'll notice Southwest's uniforms from the 70's, which seem to be far more risque than a tank and miniskirt combo. Ebbert was allowed to fly after agreeing to alter her outfit, but the airline later apologized, offering Ebbert free tickets and tried to make light of the mix-up in humorous advertising. She declined the tickets.

After the Ebbert encounter, Southwest President Colleen Barrett sent employees a generally worded e-mail reminding them that the airline has no dress code, which they remembered for all of two months. Joe Winiecki said he was sitting in the last row of a flight when an employee told him he had to change his T-shirt, turn it inside out or get off the plane. The brilliant shirt uses double entendre to promote a fictional fishing tackle shop in the Virgin Islands, with large lettering that reads "Master Baiter." Get it? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Winiecki argued that the airline was violating his right to free speech but changed rather than risk getting kicked off the flight and missing a day of work.

"It's really disappointing in this country when I can't travel from Ohio to Florida with the clothes on my back," Winiecki said. "Who's to say what's offensive and what's not?" Yes, the American Dream, boiled down to a Columbus-to-Tampa flight.

Southwest, like many other airlines, has language in its contract of carriage to reserve the right to deny service to customers who are abusive or threatening, or whose clothing is "lewd, obscene or patently offensive." But clearly they have an open door policy for assholes and douchebags. I hate to say the company has no business telling customers what to wear, but they don't. That doesn't mean that it's not crass, juvenile, and patently offensive with it's stupidity.

There's a thing I consider Contractor Culture, and unclever sexual puns on t-shirts are a big part of it. In addition to the the Big Dogs / No Fear style of "tough guy" shirts, there's also the Big Johnson type and novelty brand like ol' Joe's sweet garment. References to your junk, how big it is, and how well you use it, coupled with cartoony illustrations of overly well endowed women is lame. Grown men wearing that clothing is the same as advertising your low IQ and lack of refinement. For some reason it's usually found on guys wearing denim shorts, who drive pick up trucks, and are some form of contractor. It's like the construction and home building unions have mandated it as an off-duty uniform.

The white trash aspect of it is overwhelmingly clear, and so unnecessary to promote. Yes, you're a guy who likes to drink shitty American beer and has all the comedic depth of a grade school fart joke. Work is just something you do when you're not on your boat / quad runner / RV / dumpy white trash girlfriend. It's a living cliche, and a bad one at that. There's nothing wrong being blue collar, but there's a fine line before the sleeves are cut off. So Joe, now you are up there with Larry Flynt and Lenny Bruce fighting for our First Amendment rights - an American hero, and not just some jerk off with a shirt about jerking off.