Fish Belly

Pregnant and breast-feeding women should eat at least 12 ounces of fish and other seafood a week because the benefits for infant brain development outweigh any worries about mercury contamination, a group of U.S. experts announced. This contradicts U.S. government warnings that these women should consume no more than 12 ounces of fish and other seafood weekly due to concerns that mercury can harm the nervous system of fetuses, and might exist in trace amounts in those foods. The government was wrong? Why, that's never happened before!

The recommendations were issued in partnership with the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition, whose members include the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Agriculture Department, the March of Dimes, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and others. The coalition said the threat of mercury poisoning has scared many pregnant women into not eating fish at all, robbing them and their babies of vital nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, which are important for brain and motor skill development in children and can help prevent postpartum depression in mothers.

Complicating the message is the revelation that the coalition received $60,000 from a seafood industry trade group, but the experts defended the independence of their work. I once took $326 from a South Korean grocer to badmouth a North Korean market across the street, but it was totally legit -- their dog was not served fresh as advertised.

"There has been no case of fetal mercury toxicity due to fish consumption reported in the United States." Um, okay...how about a little booze for the pregnant ladies too? Alcohol is proven to help create pregnancies -- can it be that bad during?

"There are some fish that have been shown to be higher in mercury and in other important trace elements such as shark and swordfish," the group said. "Those might be sources of fish women still might want to stay away from. But the vast majority of fish out there present in the U.S. diet, those are generally very healthy fishes."

The experts also cited a study published in February finding that children whose mothers ate more fish and other seafood while pregnant were smarter and had better developmental skills than those whose mothers ate less or none. Children whose mothers were eaten by fish were excluded from the study.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration and U.S. Environmental Protection Agency issued advisories in 2001 and 2004 telling women who were pregnant, breast-feeding or trying to become pregnant, as well as young children, to eat no more than 12 ounces weekly of some types of fish due to mercury concerns. However, estimates on the dangers posed by mercury come from people exposed in chemical spills, and no major studies have shown that mercury from food or vaccines has caused brain damage to mothers or children.

Of course, there's always surrogate mothers -- then you can eat whatever the hell you want and just wait for that baby to get delivered to your doorstep, like Chinese takeout.