Love Thy Neighbor

Ogden, Utah mayor Matthew Godfrey is cleaning up his town one loser at a time. It helps when they're in his yard.

Awakened when somebody tried to break into their house, Godfrey went outside and saw the perp riding across his front lawn on a stolen bike. Cleverly, he ran the thief down and wrestled him into a headlock, holding the criminal until police arrived.

Curtis Poorman, 20, was arrested for investigation of burglary, robbery, public intoxication, illegal consumption of alcohol by a minor, and possession of marijuana. Poorman? Talk about being born into a life of crime.

Better still is the mayor is a diminutive 5'6" and about 135, while Poorman is over 160 and about 5'11".

The mayor, who had made reducing crime an issue in his re-election campaign, seems to have taken it personally, but encouraged others in similar situations to let the police handle it. Really, who wants two heroes campaigning for public office? You think I'm kidding? "It should be left to mayors who are determined to make their streets safe and the police. Everyone else should call 911," Godfrey said. Okay, easy up there little Napoleon. Somebody thinks they're a big boy now.

Besides, Poorman is no stranger.

"He's from a family that we know and love and respect. They're good friends of ours, and they just have a wayward child," Godfrey said. "I taught this young man in church."

Clearly you didn't do such a good job. And breaking into the house of your bible study teacher is not one of the top genius moves.

Strangely enough, Poorman's lawyer is J.D. Poorman — a distant cousin. Strange that someone in the family got an advanced degree - he must be the black sheep.

I find it fascinating how things work in Inbred County, Utah. I suspect a local reporter also wrote the story. That would explain why the headline calls the mayor 110 lbs and then negates that in the story.