Saturday, June 30, 2012

Friday, June 29, 2012

More Old School Than Nintendo






Ketchup Was An Accomplice

Fast food is bad for your health, but is it legally dangerous?

James Hackett is facing a felony assault charge after allegedly throwing an order of "hot and oily" McDonald's french fries at his 11-year-old stepdaughter, according to the Lowell, MA police.  The girl was not harmed in the incident, but the report stated the action "could cause burning to skin and eyes."

After stopping by McDonald's, Hackett and the girl's mother were reportedly arguing about money in the car when the girl interject in an attempt to get the two to stop fighting. Hackett then allegedly "picked up the container of french fries he had just purchased, which were hot and oily, and threw it at [the girl], striking her in the face and chest area."  He reportedly left the residence on a motorcycle after they returned home from McDonalds, and was later tracked down after his wife called the police.  The official charge "is assault and battery with a dangerous weapon to wit french fry."

Really, Lowell Police Department?  Fuck you.  We'll have to wait for the pre-trial conference August 10 to make sure the city's attorneys have not also lost their mind and dismiss the whole thing.


No Plans Yet For The Fourth? Then Visit Slab City!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Drawn And Dressed



Calling back to a post from a few months back, now there's even more opportunity to dress like a superhero - that's been expanded to the animated realm with Cartoon Closets.




The Quick And The Rich

They can't make the deal official until July 1, but the LA Kings - pardon me, the 2012 Stanley Cup Champion LA Kings have agreed to contract terms with goaltender stud Jonathan Quick.  Fuck. Yes!

GM Machiavelli Dean Lombardi announced the 10 year contract extension today, which will kick in after the upcoming season, and will be a generous pay raise from the $1.8 he's currently making - reportedly worth $58 million.  Quick won the Conn Smythe (playoff MVP) this year, and basically carried the team to and through the playoffs.  Not bad for the 26-year-old who was the 72nd overall (third round) draft pick in 2005.  His 2011-2012 season was record setting for the team, and he dominated the NHL: a league leading 10 shutouts, second in goals-against average with 1.95 - or first among goalies who played more than 40 games, tied for fifth with 35 wins and a .929 save percentage (.929) - quite a feat for playing 69 games.

Quick was even better during the 2012 Playoffs - in 20 games Quick compiled 16 wins while leading all playoff goaltenders with a 1.41 goals-against average and a .946 save percentage (3rd best all-time for goalies with at least 10 games played), and a trio of shutouts.  After surviving the awful Cechmanek / Cloutier era, knowing Quick is locked up until 2023 is comforting.  This also means backup goaltender Jonathan Bernier is not long for this world team and will likely be tradebait as he too has a year left on his contract, though it is uncertain when he could be moved.

Now, enjoy the franchise records set by Quick:

ALL-TIME KINGS RECORDS:
• GAA (2.30)
• Save Percentage (.916)
 Win Streak (nine, Jan. 21-Feb. 6, 2010)
 Shutout Streak (three, Oct. 18-22, 2011)
 Scoreless Streak (202:11 third period Oct. 15, 2011 through first period Oct. 22, 2011)

SINGLE-SEASON KINGS RECORDS
 Games Played (72 in 2009-10)
 Wins (39 in 2009-10) GAA (1.95 in 2011-12)
 Save Percentage (.929 in 2011-12)
 Minutes Played (4,258 in 2009-10)
 Shutouts (10 in 2011-12)
 Home Shutouts (seven in 2011-12)
 Road Shutouts (four in 2008-09 and 2010-11)
 Rookie GAA (2.48 in 2008-09 – tied by Jonathan Bernier in 2010-11)
 Rookie Shutouts (four in 2008-09 – tied with Jamie Storr in 1998-99, Mario Lessard in 1978-79 and Gerry Desjardins in 1968-69)
 Shootout Wins (10 in 2010-11)
 Shootout Save Percentage (.818 in 2010-11)
 Shootout Win Percentage (1.000 in 2010-11: 10-0)

OTHER KINGS GOALTENDING RECORDS
 First with 30 wins three straight seasons (2009-10, 2010-11, 2011-12)
 First with three road shutouts in one month (Dec. 2010)
 Most saves in a shutout (51, Dec. 13, 2010 at DET, 5-0 Win)
 Fastest to 20 wins in one season (36th team game in 2009-10)
 Fastest to 30 wins in one season (54th team game in 2009-10)
 Fastest to 100 wins (185th career game)

ALL-TIME KINGS PLAYOFF RECORDS:
 GAA (2.12)
 Save Percentage (.926)
 Shutouts (4)
 Win Streak (eight, April 22-May 17, 2012)
 Road Win Streak – cumulative (12, April 16, 2011 – June 2, 2012 – NHL record)

ALL-TIME KINGS PLAYOFF SINGLE-SEASON RECORDS
 Games Played (20 in 2012 – tied with Kelly Hrudey in 1993)
 Wins (16 in 2012) GAA (1.41 in 2012)
 Save Percentage (.946 in 2012 – tied NHL record for goalies with at least 10GP)
 Shutouts (3 in 2012)
 Road Wins (10 – tied NHL record)
 Home Win Streak (3, May 3-May 17, 2012 – tied club record)
 Road Win Streak – one year (10, April 11-June 2, 2012 – NHL record)

OTHER KINGS PLAYOFF GOALTENDING RECORDS:
 Most shots faced, regulation game (52, April 23, 2011 at SJ, 3-1 Win)
 Most saves, regulation game (51, April 23, 2011 at SJ, 3-1 Win)
 Most shots faced, one period (23, April 13, 2012 at VAN, 4-2 Win) Most saves, one period (22, Apr. 13, 2012 at VAN, 4-2 Win)

NHL AWARDS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS
 Conn Smythe Trophy in 2012 NHL
 Second-Team All-Star in 2012 NHL All-Star in 2012
 Vezina Trophy Finalist in 2012
 NHL Star of the Week (Eight Times: No. 1 three times, No. 2 two times, No. 3 three times)

KINGS AWARDS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS
 Kings MVP (Bill Libby Memorial Award) in 2011-12
 Kings Best Defensive Player in 2011-12
 Kings Most Inspirational Player (Ace Bailey Memorial Award) in 2011-12
 Most Popular Player in 2011-12



Pyromania

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

What The Market Values

German artist Heinz Schulz-Neudamm created the poster for Fritz Lang's 1927 masterpiece Metropolis, and didn't live long enough to see it sell for a record $690,000.  Guess how much it's expected to fetch when it gets sold again?

Earlier this year, the illustration was appraised at $250,000 as part of a bankruptcy filing by it's previous owner (hint - if you're not paying hundreds of thousands for a a poster, you won't be bankrupt), but when it went up for sale in March, the list price was $850,000 - and some appraisers believe it could be the first poster to sell for $1 million.  Not bad for what is considered "the crown jewel of the poster world."

But look at it this in context: yesterday, are rare original copy of Abraham Lincoln's vampire hunting checklist Emancipation Proclamation was auctioned of for slightly more than $2 million. Though that is the second-highest price ever paid for a Lincoln-signed proclamation (after one owned by Robert Kennedy that went for $3.8 million in 2010), and is one of only 25 copies in existence, it basically says that a cool movie poster from 90 years ago is half as valuable as a document that ostensibly ended slavery.  Thanks, America!

Never Come Between A Man And His Team

In the early morning of April 23, 2010, Robert Abrams was watching the Pittsburgh Penguins' triple-overtime playoff against the Ottawa Senators, when his wife, Jeannette, started arguing with him about finding time to watch hockey but not to find a job. The end result? Abrams killed her. The other result? The Penguins lost.

Abrams had confessed to police at the time to beating his wife in the head with a hammer and stabbing her, and then setting the house on fire with the intent of killing himself. He changed his mind and later escaped through a bathroom window. An Allegheny County, PA jury heard testimony on this case on Monday, and returned a verdict of guilty of first-degree murder, arson and recklessly endangering another person by the following day.  He faces a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole when he is sentenced.

Damn, that's taking hockey too seriously.

The Alternate Avengers Ending

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

When The Clock Strikes Sex Change



When it comes to historical names, I'm kind of a traditionalist, so coming to find the London clock tower was getting a gender reassignment made me want to revolt against our mother country all over again.

London's iconic clock tower, popularly known as "Ben Ben", is going to be renamed Elizabeth Tower, in honor of Queen Elizabeth's diamond jubilee.  Look, we had a parade and a party - do we need to start naming things after her?  Especially when they're older than her (believe it or not)?  Double especially when she's still alive?  Is a boat, bridge, and stadium not enough?  

The British parliament added, "[We] will arrange for this decision to be implemented in an appropriate manner in due course".  Which I hope is never. How a 316 foot, 13.5 ton bell is "a fitting tribute to the queen and the service she has given to our country in this Jubilee year" confuses me.  The sister structure at the other end of the Palace of Westminster is Victoria Tower, which was named for Queen Victoria, the only other British monarch to celebrate a diamond jubilee.

As for the name that will soon be lost to aristocracy, it's most likely attributed to Benjamin Hall, the engineer whose name is inscribed on the bell.  Others believe it is named after 1850s champion boxer Ben Caunt, though I suspect one of their favorite swear words is derived from that.

Browmarked

Kentucky baller Anthony Davis is expected to be the top draft pick in the NBA next week, but he won't be the best groomed.

Davis has trademarked his unibrow, which gained attention as his school made their national championship run,  "I don't want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it," Davis said. "Me and my family decided to trademark it because it's very unique." I don't know that you can trademark bad decision making, but Davis has trademarked the phrases "Fear the Brow" and "Raise The Brow."  Could this work?  Back in 1988, then-Los Angeles Lakers coach Pat Riley trademarked the phrases "3-peat" and "three-peat," in anticipation of the team winning three consecutive championships.  I haven't heard of big 3-peat cash getting paid out on it, but he's covering his bases...

Davis refuses to trim the unibrow because, "everyone's talking about it" - thought I think he ought to be listening to what they're actually saying.  The athlete recently signed on with the Wasserman Media Group, and already has stars in his eyes.  "I might have a commercial where I'm acting like I'm shaving it and then I'll throw the razor down," he said.   Sorry to break it to you, but that's the opposite of a commercial, and no company is going to pay to endorse not using it's products.

With all the money pro players make, why would you make yourself look like a transsexual just to get a few more dollars out of your own trademark?

There Was Something Familiar About Watching The Newsroom

Monday, June 25, 2012

Dead Heat (And Not Joe Piscopo)

Allyson Felix and Jeneba Tarmoh pretty fast.  In fact, you could say the two US sprinters are equally fast. And that's the problem.

During yesterday's women's 100 meter Olympics qualifier, both finished the race in 11.068 seconds.  Not even the judges high speed camera determine if one was faster than the other.  The downside is that both placed third, and the rules state that the three fastest runners get a berth to the Olympic games.

This type of high-speed camera takes three pictures every thousandth of a second, or a spread of 300 nanoseconds between frames. - and it's a real issue when you can't separate two racers when you're shooting them at 3000 pictures per second.  It's doubtful either will concede their third place spot, so they have to settle it an analog way - by flipping a quarter - or having a run off.

Something Worse Than A Miami Heat Title?

I make no secret of my love of hockey and F1, but I still pay a little attention to other sports, and agree with the general opinion, fuck LeBron James and the Miami Heat.

The whole televised jerk-off of selecting Miami when he left Cleveland is still one of the ugliest moves in modern times, and his mortal cramp in game four of the finals earned him little sympathy (especially from real athletes), plus the Miami fans are douches, so it's not without justification to have a negative reaction to their winning the championship.  But the worst is yet to come...

Porn "stars" (I use that very liberally) Sara Jay and Angelina Castro better start stretching, because they're coming in off the sidelines.  The two were pushing the #Team BJNBA tag before the start of the playoffs, and pledged to all their Twitter followers that they'd provide blow jobs if the Miami Heat won.  It's bad enough, when you think about it, to be shoulder to shoulder with an arena's worth of other scumbags that follow porn star tweets looking to get a shared batch of chlamydia, but that it's two skanks that look like they crawled out of the Florida everglades, I do not understand the draw.  At all.  Porn stars are supposed to be sexy and someone you want to have sex with.

It should be known that Sara Jay has 218,000 plus followers to Angelina Castro's 92,000, but if there were really going to be over 300,000 hummers, the CDC would be there to quarantine the proceedings...and hopefully burn the place down with everyone inside.  It will probably be a few hundred creeps living in Miami where they are who are skeevy enough to be take part in what will of course be filmed (otherwise there's no profit for it), but still, revolting.  You can thank Bobbi Eden, Vicky Vette, Gabby Quinteros, and Miss Hybrid - the original #Team BJ, for introducing the "winners get gummers" idea, after making the same claim if Holland won the 2010 World Cup (Holland lost). 

As Close As Non-Gamers Want To Come To An Actual D&D Session

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Weekend Edition


Counting down the top 20 links we didn't cover during the week...

20 • Radiohead Drum Technician Killed In Stage Collapse - Say what you will about their music, but their stage show is really avant-garde.


18 • Who Is Rodney King? Who Is Dick Clark? The Titanic Was Real? How Death, Major News Events Expose Twitter’s Generation Gap - Translation: stupid, uninformed kids know nothing of their history or culture.  140 characters is not a Twitter limit, but their mental processing cap.

17 • 13 Tech Sounds You Don’t Hear Anymore - Don't tell those Twitter kids, because they won't recognize these. 

16 • Feds Bust Russian Prostitution Ring In L.A. - It would have been higher if the story was they  helped open one.

15 • Jack Osbourne Says He Has Multiple Sclerosis - Karma couldn't tell the different between one television reality family and another?  Look out Kardashians...

14 •  It Takes A Hell Of A Lot More Water Than You Think To Make Jeans, Burgers, Pizza And Other Stuff - And surprisingly, the main ingredient in all those is not water.

13 • Roger Clemens Acquitted On All Charges - Justice really struck out at the plate this time.

12 • LA Kings Stanley Cup 2012 CelebrationConstruction Of A Championship Team - Besides enjoying the awesome victory from last week from almost inside the celebration, the LA Kings Insider shows how the team that won the Stanley Cup came together.

11 • Infinite Schwarzenegger Gear Up Scene - When killing thousands, it takes a while to get ready...

10 • Sex Toy Fools Entire Chinese VillageSuper Terrific Japanese Thing: Vagina Panties - Both of these are horrible...Asia should be ashamed.

09 • Headless Corpses Found In Paris Picnic Spot - Ahh, still a city of charm and romance!

08 • Students Left In ‘Mass Hypnosis’ After Demonstration Goes Awry - They made the mistake of not having them pay for next semester's tuition first before putting them in a trance.

07 • Lancaster Boy, 7, Found Hanging By Karate Belt In Backyard - Clearly, he did not pass his test and earn his belt.

06 • Gene Simmons Themed VW Bug For Sale On Craigslist - You may never want to drive it, but there's nothing wrong with looking at it.

05 • Man Goes On $1.5 Million Gambling Spree, After ATM Glitch Allows Him Unlimited Withdrawals - It should have been corrected to say $1.5 million losing spree.

04 • Displays Might One Day Be Made of Just Air And Water - Does that mean View Sonic may one day be bought by Evian?

03 • Baby Soaps And Shampoos Trigger Positive Marijuana Tests - That's what happens when you use Cheech & Chong rather than Johnson & Johnson.

02 • The 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings / 40 More Of The Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings - If you're not convinced he's the worst artist of a generation after 80 drawings, you're either blind or Rob Liefeld.

01 • Burritobot: A 3-D Printer That Spits Out Burritos - Food and technology, together...perfectly.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Saturday Morning Videos

CGI...for Hulks and dead bulks.



Friday, June 22, 2012

Oh, So That's His Technique

The five-time hot wing-eating champion known as "El Wingador" is under arrest in New Jersey on a charge of cocaine distribution. Once he goes to jail, he'll be known as "El Fresh Meat".

State police say they recovered about $8,000 worth of cocaine and $4,000 cash when they stopped William Simmons in southern New Jersey. No word on how many bottles of bleu cheese dressing was found.  Sadly, Simmons was driving a Kia Soul decorated with the name El Wingador at the time of the arrest. Even sadder is that El Wingador last won Philadelphia's Wing Bowl in 2005 by grinding through 162 chicken wings.The pre-Super Bowl even draws thousands of fans each year, and has been the saucy, spicy albatross around Simmons neck for the better part of a decade.

A search of two homes connected to Simmons turned up more evidence, leading to a $100,000 bond being issued.  I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for the news feeds because I'm dying to know what Simmons has been up to between 2005 -2012, and I hope a trial has those details.

Power Tools And Pizza

Though they may be the modern kings of licensing their music, The Black Keys are not getting any dough to provide the soundtrack to Home Depot and Pizza Hut commercials...yet.

The band's 2010 Brothers was the most licensed album in the WB catalog for that year, and their current record, El Camino, is still generating money for them - not to mention all the dough they stand to get in the copyright infringement lawsuits filed yesterday.  The cases against the two companies seeks damages of more than $75,000 apiece, and an order preventing the continued use of the songs in the commercials. 

Pizza Hut and Home Depot claim they have not "seen" the complaint yet, and both directed inquiries to the ad's creators, The Martin Agency and The Interpublic Group of Companies - who declined any comment.  That's a lot of bucks being passed, but the real bucks will be in The Black Key's pocket soon.  It's a slam dunk, since neither company received permission to use musical elements from "Lonely Boy" and "Gold on the Ceiling".  I wonder if it would have been cheaper to just license the tune, but seeing as how Mad Men paid $250K for a Beatles song in a episode, maybe it's better to try and seek it through and literally pay the consequences later.

Trippin' (Poke) Balls

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Data, By The Minute

(click to gigantify)

Really Go Down Under

Congratulations to Sydney's Stiletto on the multi-million-dollar green light to expand their brothel.  Now more people than ever can say "dingos ate my baby" with a smile...

Plans to double the number of rooms at the Australian complex were delayed last year by the city council on the grounds that it was too big (pun intended?), but the owners won an appeal in the Land and Environment court this week, allowing more than $12 million in construction (including a wing for group bookings).

Stiletto promotes itself as "the world's finest short-stay boutique hotel...and Sydney brothel". Its standard hourly rate of $370 (Aussie dollars) includes room, lady of choice and beverages. It is open 24 hours year round, except for Christmas Day, because even places that have group bookings respect the birth of Christ).  They boast a mixed clientele. which includes "top-end celebrities including movie stars, sportspeople and rock bands", but I'm sure there's a big drop of from Russel Crowe and INXS to whomever they're referring to.

Prostitution in Australia is governed by state and territory laws, allowing brothels to operate legally in certain parts of the country.  Meanwhile, Aboriginal rights are still being sought...I guess some people can fuck under the law, and others get fucked because of it.

Grab Your Shopping Carts, Everybody!



If you have time, come visit some of the Valley's other hot spots, like Canoga Park and Pacoima!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Just A Small Transaction Between Billionaires

How much money does Oracle Corp. CEO Larry Ellison have?  Well, he's buying 98% of the island of Lanai from its current owner.  To repeat, he's going to own 98% of an island in a state.

Self-made billionaire David Murdock, who owns Castle & Cooke - the current owner, said he would keep still his home on Lanai and the right to build a wind farm (with the potential to deliver power to Oahu through an undersea cable).  The 141 square miles are said to be going between the asking price of $500-600 million.  Ellison, the world's sixth-richest person, is worth $36 billion.

 The deal involves 88,000 acres of land, plus two resorts, two golf courses, a stable and various residential and commercial buildings.  The best part? Ellison plans to pay cash.  Lanai is Hawaii's smallest publicly accessible inhabited island, with clsoe to 3,200 residents. The majority of the island was once owned by James Dole (Dole Food Company), who bought it in 1922.  The 2% Ellison isn't buying is owned by the state, county and private residents.

Dead Arts

It's a rare chance to comment on two passings today, and both regarding artists.

The first is LeRoy Neiman (91), who made his reputation painting sports events and athletes, but I know as the creepy moustache guy who hung out with Hugh Hefner and made shitty scribbles of naked women on the Playboy joke page.  I will say that he made pretty good use of color, in an almost psychedelic way, but like much of the art I've seen, I have to wonder who the hell is going to buy and display it.  I get it if you want an impressionist twist on a picture for a game program, but what wall needs a painted Mark McGuire?

The other is for the Life In Hell comic strip, that Matt Groening is ending after three decades.  The strip, which ends after it's 1669th publication, was once in close to 400 publications, but in now in under 40.  Known for anthropomorphic bunnies Binky and Bongo, and fez wearing homosexuals Akbar and Jeff, the comic was serialized in many publications "_______ (Life, Childhood, School, etc.) In Hell", and was key in getting Groening the gig making animated shorts for The Tracey Ullman Show that led to The Simpsons.  The strip stopped being interesting or funny once he shifted to Akbar and Jeff as the focus, but some of his 'toons are gold.

Fiona On Top (Of The Standard)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Welcome To Pawnee












Don't Ewok, Run...

Nicholas Read is a dwarf actor, so his resume is filled with what you'd expect from a person of his size.  But his rap sheet could rival his IMDB page.

Read played an ewok in Return of the Jedi and a goblin in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, but his latest role was as an anonymous pervert on a train - and it was a repeat performance.  Back in 2010, he received a 20-week suspended sentence for fondling himself underneath a juggler’s hat while sitting next to a 17-year-old girl in route to Manchester. To commemorate the occasion, he took a picture of the horrified reaction of the victim's friend.

In October 2011, Read "trapped" his victim in a window seat on a train travelling to Leicester, and proceeded to reprise his role.  Having drunk half a bottle of gin (a regular sized one, or those small airplane sized bottles?), according to the girl, he "placed his hat on his crotch. I saw a movement and I didn’t know whether to believe it. I looked in the reflection of the window and saw his hand moving under the hat. He tried to catch my attention, tilting his hat up, looking at his crotch area and then looking at me a few times."  This went on for between 30 and 40 minutes of the 55 minute trip.  Now, I understand being freaked out by a weird looking dwarf slapping it in front of you, but would you sit there passively?  Maybe all 4' 5" of him was just too intimidating, but why not call for help (or get an autograph)?

Since he was on parole for his previous rail-wank, Read may get additional time tacked onto the potential 20 weeks in jail.  In cause you were wondering, he has a number of sex offenses going back to 1995, when he was convicted of lewd phone calls.


Red Letter Media vs. Prometheus



Complete spoilers ahead!


Also, Topless Robot has a great FAQ on the movie, which is also spoiler heavy.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Quite The Sales Pitch


click to embiggen



King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime*

Famous Mom and I stepped of a plane after travelling all day yesterday, and she asked as I was looking at the news on my phone if anything happened while we were out of town, and apparently, Rodney King discovered his kryptonite was not police batons, but water.

Let's just get out of the way the fact that excessive and unnecessary force was used by the cops on March 3, 1991 when King was "arrested" and dispense with any shock at my making light of his death.  It was unjust, as was the trial resulting in four exonerated police and the '92 riots.  But while others may take the time to praise Caesar King, I have come to bury him.

No person should get the beatdown King received (unless you're talking about the likes of Evil Dick Cheney or Karl Rove, and they don't really qualify as people), but let's remember that King was an already convicted felon (robbery!) on parole leading police on a drunken high-speed chase while more than twice the legal drinking limit .  Again, not justification, but this wasn't a little old lady coming back from BINGO night at her church.  Had King only become the icon he was given the chance to be, uttering his famous "Can't we all just get along?", then certainly his passing - or chance at a positive legacy, would not be tainted.

Shakespeare (who you'd never expect mentioned in the same breath Rodney King) did say that some men were born great, while others had greatness thrust upon them, and although it was really a dick joke from Twelfth Night, it has come to reflect rising to the situation, and King could not become that person.  Even Jesse Jackson, who has squandered much of the respect he had when he first came into the public eye, made more of himself due to his association with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., but Rodney King was not made of the material to transcend himself.

So what happened to King in the years afterwards?  Here's some of his greatest hits:

 August 21, 1993: King crashed his car into a block wall in downtown Los Angeles, and was convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol.  He received a fine, entered an alcohol rehabilitation program and was placed on probation.

• July 1995: King was arrested by Alhambra police, alleging he hit his wife with his car. He was sentenced to 90 days in jail after being convicted of hit and run

• King invested a large portion of his $3.8 million settlement in a record label, Straight Alta-Pazz Records.  It quickly folded

• August 27, 2003: King was arrested again for speeding and running a red light while under the influence of alcohol. He did not yield to police officers and slammed his vehicle into a house, breaking his pelvis.

• November 29, 2007: King claims was shot in the face, arms, and back with pellets from a shotgun while riding home on a bike, though police described the wounds as looking like they came from birdshot.  He offered few details about the suspects, a man and woman, who demanded his bicycle and shot him as he fled. 

• May 2008:  King checked into the Pasadena Recovery Center and is cast member of the second season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

• September 9, 2010: King plans to marry Cynthia Kelley, a juror in the civil suit he brought against the city of Los Angeles.

• March 3, 2011 (the 20th anniversary of the beating): King was stopped by LAPD for driving erratically and was issued a citation for driving with an expired license.  It led to a February 2012 conviction for reckless driving.

His pool drowning in the early hours at his home yesterday unexpectedly punctuates the historical footnote that Rodney King will become, a victim of circumstance, but not an innocent.


*with apologies to Faith No More