Tasty Idioms

 

GMpotle

Chipotle has dealt with controversy before, but none like the one they are courting.

The company recently became the first fast-food chain to label the ingredients it uses which contain GMOs.  Of course, the list is buried deep in its website, and not listed at locations, but those looking can see 12 of the 24 ingredients listed on the site are affixed with a red "G" -- indicating the presence of GMOs. The GMO-containing ingredients include all tortillas and rice, as well as all of the varieties of meat (except pork carnitas). The company has previously campaigned for legislation to mandate the labeling of GMOs in all venues, and while they would like to eliminate GMOs, they claim that it's impossible to find reliable sources of corn and soybeans that don't include them.

Only Whole Foods and Ben and Jerry's have announced similar plans to label GMO ingredients in advance of any legal requirement to do so, and while they are may cause debate, being the early adopter may prove better for the companies in the long run as consumers are forced to accept the divisive ingredients.

Inside Betty White's Colon

If there's going to some celebrity news on the site, it won't be about shitty D-listers getting their funbags enhanced!

Betty White, who's 91, eats a hot dog and french fries for lunch. Every day. This question, which plagued no one was answered as she was followed around as "Hot In Cleveland" prepared for it's first live episode. She also has Starbucks blueberry muffins when she arrives at work and also keeps her dressing room stocked with Red Vines. Exciting, right? No. But I had a chance to use this photo from my archive of things downloaded over the years, and make this link useful.

Slow news day...sorry. I'm less shocked at all the shit she eats (and why not given how much time is left) as I am that "Hot In Cleveland" has been on the air for five seasons.

Pantone On The Menu

More pairings courtesy of David Schwen...

Food For Thought...And Eating

A Food Singularity

Your parents and grandparents probably never thought they'd live in an age where there would be computers the size of a coin or the interweb or any billion other achievements that time and technology have brought.  And just so, did our modern generation never expect the Doritos Loco Taco...but that's just the start.

In a nice little reciprocal marketing move, Frito-Lay is going to be offering Doritos in a Taco Bell  flavor.  Yes, they're reconstituting their chips to taste like a combination of nacho cheese and taco flavors, which, I assume is as simple as mixing in a packet of meat seasoning (paging Lawry's for a corporate three way).  You won't have too wait too long - this spring, we'll see if the flavor fancy goes both ways.

Of course, it's just a matter of time before we see Doritos Locos Tacos made from Taco Bell Taco flavored Doritos, right?  This will undoubtedly create a diarrhea paradox for all eaters, and prompt the chicken (taco) and egg question about what flavor begat which item.  Very meta - though the internal cramping and bleeding may not be.  And perhaps I'm burying the lede a little too, but there will be Cool Ranch flavored Doritos Locos Tacos coming...

Take A Shot Of Death

Those ubiquitous 5-hour Energy pods that have spawned countless imitators can give you a boost of energy, but are not strong enough to raise the dead. And with 13 deaths linked to the shot since 2009, maybe they can retain they consumers they loose to their product.

The drink was mentioned in close to 90 FDA filings in the past three years, which included cases of serious or life-threatening injuries. Sure, you do not have an absolute, direct link to the heart attacks, convulsions and, in one case, a spontaneous abortion, but it was involved. Larger-sized Monster energy drink was cited in five deaths, so it's not a stretch to say that overuse of these may be a little dangerous.  But hey, you can die from too much water ingestion, so why not have something with a little more flavor?

That 5-hour energy is considered a "dietary supplement", well, that's were it gets a little concerning. Anything you ingest can be considered a dietary supplement  but I get the impression that substances with not enough merit to be considered "food" get this denotation, and nobody would rightly take a negatively-effective supplement.  There's a denotation for that too...it's call poison.  Articles covering the linked deaths have pointed out this is reminiscent of the Four Loko problems of yesteryear (and reminded us that a little 5-hour Energy in there makes new Four Loko as good as old Four Loko), but it's not really, other than too much of anything can be lethal.

Cooking 101

Since Scarlett and I are now fortunately endowed with a shit-ton of new kitchenwares, there's no shame in admitting we don't know how to really cook...and you can all come clean too.  That's how I know I'm not the only one who'll benefit from this cheat sheet.

Weekend Edition

Counting down the top 20 links we didn't cover during the week...

20 • Radiohead Drum Technician Killed In Stage Collapse - Say what you will about their music, but their stage show is really avant-garde.

19 • Microsoft Surface Is Hiding A Pressure-Sensitive Keyboard, Multitouch Trackpad And Kickstand - To be an iPad killer, you have to think different.

18 • Who Is Rodney King? Who Is Dick Clark? The Titanic Was Real? How Death, Major News Events Expose Twitter’s Generation Gap - Translation: stupid, uninformed kids know nothing of their history or culture.  140 characters is not a Twitter limit, but their mental processing cap.

17 • 13 Tech Sounds You Don’t Hear Anymore - Don't tell those Twitter kids, because they won't recognize these. 

16 • Feds Bust Russian Prostitution Ring In L.A. - It would have been higher if the story was they  helped open one.

15 • Jack Osbourne Says He Has Multiple Sclerosis - Karma couldn't tell the different between one television reality family and another?  Look out Kardashians...

14 •  It Takes A Hell Of A Lot More Water Than You Think To Make Jeans, Burgers, Pizza And Other Stuff - And surprisingly, the main ingredient in all those is not water.

13 • Roger Clemens Acquitted On All Charges - Justice really struck out at the plate this time.

12 • LA Kings Stanley Cup 2012 Celebration / Construction Of A Championship Team - Besides enjoying the awesome victory from last week from almost inside the celebration, the LA Kings Insider shows how the team that won the Stanley Cup came together.

11 • Infinite Schwarzenegger Gear Up Scene - When killing thousands, it takes a while to get ready...

10 • Sex Toy Fools Entire Chinese Village / Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Vagina Panties - Both of these are horrible...Asia should be ashamed.

09 • Headless Corpses Found In Paris Picnic Spot - Ahh, still a city of charm and romance!

08 • Students Left In ‘Mass Hypnosis’ After Demonstration Goes Awry - They made the mistake of not having them pay for next semester's tuition first before putting them in a trance.

07 • Lancaster Boy, 7, Found Hanging By Karate Belt In Backyard - Clearly, he did not pass his test and earn his belt.

06 • Gene Simmons Themed VW Bug For Sale On Craigslist - You may never want to drive it, but there's nothing wrong with looking at it.

05 • Man Goes On $1.5 Million Gambling Spree, After ATM Glitch Allows Him Unlimited Withdrawals - It should have been corrected to say $1.5 million losing spree.

04 • Displays Might One Day Be Made of Just Air And Water - Does that mean View Sonic may one day be bought by Evian?

03 • Baby Soaps And Shampoos Trigger Positive Marijuana Tests - That's what happens when you use Cheech & Chong rather than Johnson & Johnson.

02 • The 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings / 40 More Of The Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings - If you're not convinced he's the worst artist of a generation after 80 drawings, you're either blind or Rob Liefeld.

01 • Burritobot: A 3-D Printer That Spits Out Burritos - Food and technology, together...perfectly.

Food For Thought Tomorrow Morning

(click to gigantify)

Finally, Some Truth In Advertising

It took a while, but the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas can say they delivered on their promise.

While eating  a "triple bypass burger", man at the restaurant actually had a cardiac infarction. "He was having the sweats and shaking," said "Nurse" Bridgett, who is not a nurse  but was working at the restaurant at the time of the incident.  "I actually felt horrible for the gentleman because the tourists were taking photos of him as if it were some type of stunt. Even with our own morbid sense of humor, we would never pull a stunt like that." Yes, this from the place with a website that proudly proclaims the menu offers "taste worth dying for!"

It was the first actual known cardiac incident at the Heart Attack Grill, where menu items include a butterfat milkshake, non-filtered cigarettes, "flatliner" fries and four different burgers, each rated on an ascending scale of one bypass to the quadruple bypass burger. Owner "Doctor" Jon Basso said the man's name is being kept private and that he is recovering from the heart attack. It is unclear if the man will ever return to the restaurant , but since anyone "over 350 pounds eats free" according to the establishment, it may be worth the risk. 

Have It Your Way (Without Going Out Of Your Way)

The number three fast food chain wants to see America make plenty of number two in the comfort of their own home.

Burger King may be behind Wendy's and McDonald's, but they've got the jump on them when it comes to getting consumers at their most vulnerable...and lazy.  In select Washington, D.C. locations, the King will come to you. They don't do fountain drinks, coffee, breakfast foods, or milkshakes; delivery costs $2 an order; and you must live within a 10-minute drive of a participating store. But Burger King not only guarantees 30-minute delivery, but their "proprietary thermal packaging technology" will keep your fries crisp and burger "hot and fresh".

French fried potatoes for couch potatoes, from a business perspective, is a slam dunk - as long as they can keep those happy meals from turning into crappy ones.  I wish I still ate the fast food and lived in D.C. to give it a whirl - though maybe I can convince Famous Sister to be a guinea pig...

Thespian Gourmet

Gamer Grub

From the very tasty Gourmet Gaming, a site that takes some of the eats from video games and makes them available for yor enjoyment in real life, here's the Cluckin’ Bell 'Fowl Burger' (from the Grand Theft Auto series):

What you will need: A frying pan, meat tenderiser, 2 bowls.

For the Fowl Burger:

- Olive Oil

- 1 Large Chicken Breast

- 50g / ½ Cup Breadcrumbs

- 1 Tablespoon Ground Cumin

- 1 Tablespoon Ground Coriander

- 1 Tablespoon Paprika

- 1 Egg

- Ketchup

- Mayonnaise

- White Burger Bun / Bread roll

- Baby Gem Lettuce Leaves

- 1 Baby Shallot

- 1 Slice of Mild Cheddar Cheese

Making the Fowl Burger:

1.Combine the cumin, coriander and paprika with the breadcrumbs in a bowl and mix well. In another beat the egg and set aside.

2.Heat a good amount of olive oil in a frying pan on a medium high heat. Beat the chicken breast so it is about 1-2cm thick, cut in half so you have two evenly sized pieces.

3.Dip them in the egg and then coat well in the breadcrumb mixture.

4.Once the oil is hot enough, fry the coated chicken breasts for about 4 minutes each side or until golden brown and cooked through.

5.Toast the bun then layer ketchup, lettuce, chicken, cheese, lettuce, chicken, lettuce, mayonnaise, sliced shallot and close with the top of the bun.

6.Serve with fries and a Sprunk and enjoy; the chicken didn’t die in vain.

The Candy Hierarchy

(click for delicious details)

Delicious Schweddy Balls

Thanks to Ben & Jerry's, you can have Schweddy Balls dripping down your chin.

The company announced their newest ice cream flavor today - vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum & loaded with fudge covered rum & malt balls. The Schweddy Balls name comes from the Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin, Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer. Baldwin plays Pete Schweddy, owner of a bakery, while Shannon and Gasteyer play NPR radio hosts interviewing him for their food show. While the sketch is a 5 minute ball joke, was one of the more memorable in years and follows the company's foray into comedy-inspired flavors. Earlier this year they released Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack and Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.

The flavor is being released in a limited batch, meaning it will be distributed nationwide but only for a few months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming.

How The Girl Scout Cookie Sales Crumble

Oreo Cameos

I have to admit that seeing Judith Klausner's art made me want a cookie.

25K Macs

For nearly forty years, Don Gorske has been eating Big Macs a stomach churning pace. Today, he reached a new milestone -- finishing his 25,000th burger. In related news, he had his 25,000th bout of diarrhea.

"I plan on eating Big Macs until I die," the Wisconsin man said, not realizing how telling his words were. "I have no intentions of changing. It's my favorite food. Nothing has changed in 39 years. I look forward to it every day."

Gorske is 59, and claims good health and a low cholesterol level - he had a clean bill of health two months ago during his last physical, despite his minimal exercise. He averages two Big Macs a day, each with 540 calories and 29 grams of fat. It is the same amount of fat in large cheese pizza, and would take nine miles of walking to work off the calories.  His genetics are his saving grace, because anybody else would be dead after 2,500...

For Bakers Who Drink

Can't shake that sweet tooth but still want to get fucked up? Here's your drink!

Flavored vodka is nothing new, but this may be the most disgusting thing in a while - Cupcake Vodka. Fruit flavors I get, but cupcake varities? There's Original, While Chiffon, Devil's Food, and Frosting. Not sold? Here's the official PR slant:

Cupcake Vodka Original is six-times distilled to remove impurities while delivering a mouth-feel reminiscent of an indulgent delicious treat.

How about their featured cocktail? Cupcake Cabana (with Cupcake Chiffon, naturally):

Ingredients
2 oz Cupcake Chiffon Vodka
1 Med Sized Chunk of Pineapple
1.5 oz Passion Fruit Nectar
1 Small Chunk of Banana
Perrier or Soda Water

Yum (not really)...and there's also Apple Crumb Cupcake, Chocolate Chippy Cupcake, and Orange Passion Cupcake.  Hmmm...I'm still not ready to go down a confection style beverage.  I'm not even ready for a vodka infused cupcake.