Tuesday, January 1, 2013
All Is Quiet...
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Man-O-Manischewitz
Central to the Passover seder are four cups of wine, drunk at intervals during the home service. Jewish law says that that kosher wine be produced and handled only by Jews, and you could imagine what a bitch that was for early immigrants in North America. Native grapes were poorly suited while imported vines succumbed to the elements, and imported wine from Europe was too expensive. A popular solution was was non-alcoholic raisin wine , which came out of small shops and basement wineries. By the end of the 19th century, the top six vendors in New York alone sold 40,000 gallons of this Passover wine. But there was a better vint coming.
Ephraim Wales Bull developed the Concord grape in New England, and from the time it went on sale in 1854, it rapidly spread throughout the country. Thomas Welch decided to pasteurize its juice as well as jelly it. When fermented, the Concord grape into a fortified, syrupy, highly alcoholic wine. Kosher wineries started appearing and even flourished even during Prohibition - thanks to the Volstead Act's exemption for sacramental beverages.
Thanks in part to the popularity of Concord grape juice, American palates warmed to the distinctive flavor of the grape as it grew popular in mainstream markets along with other "ethnic foods". By 1952, kosher wine like Manischewitz was among the most popular wines in the Midwest. Adding Sammy Davis Jr. as a pitchman helped sell the wine to the African-American community, which still continues to account for a large percentage of its sales.
Though sales have decreased over the last few decades, a new kosher wine industry has developed. Catering to both wine snobs and hipsters cred, there's also a boom in exports to Asia, which is the world's fastest-growing wine markets. So raise your glass to the long standing tradition and the flavor of the seder!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tacos And Champagne 4: The Baquito
Friday, December 24, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A Very South Beach Hanukkah
In the spirit of my people's holiday - you know, the one that's not Christmas which starts tonight - enter the official Florida Panthers yarmulke, which will be handed out to all ticket buyers at their home game next Tuesday! Billed as "the biggest Hanukkah party in South Florida", Jews and gentiles alike can possess this...thing of near impossible creation. Man, would I have loved to be in the room for that planning meeting...
And as Puck Daddy pointed out, "we're only three (Florida Panther) goals away from a yarmulke trick."
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Turkeypocalypse
Monday, April 5, 2010
Peepface
Peeps
Peeps come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and now they're available for more than just Easter. For the purposes of Peepface, they are divided into two groups based on their size: the standard group is made up of bunnies, chicks, and ghosts (around Halloween). The large-sized Peep group is made up of Christmas trees, black cats (around Halloween), and hearts (around V-Day). Experiment with the different sizes to determine which works best for your Peepface game.
Players
Peepface can be played with two to four players at a time. Any more gets too crowded and any less would be realy hard to pull off, because you'd be alone.
Distance
The 15 feet of distance is the perfect amount of space between players. This distance will keep the playing field even, regardless of skill level.
Judge/Scorekeeper
While not necessary, we strongly recommend having a judge that is a hot chick.Peepface is a drinking game where you stand 15 feet apart and try to hit your friend in the face with a Marshmallow Peep. The first team to score 31 points loses. Each point is equivelant to one drink of an alcoholic beverage of your choosing (hard alcohol not recommended). The goal of Peepface is to accumulate as few points as possible, while forcing your opponent to acrue points by hitting them in the face repeatedly with your sugar-covered marshmallow projectile. Here's how the scoring works:
Each player must wager an amount of points (drinks) before throwing their Peep. A round consists of each player wagering points, then throwing their Peep at their opponent's face. If you hit your opponent in the face with the Peep, you've acheived a "Peepface". Your opponent takes the wagered amount of points and must also take that many drinks. If you miss your opponent's face, your team takes the points and you take the drinks. Hitting your opponent anywhere other than in the face counts as a miss, and you cannot wager more than 5 points on a single throw.
The Peepface Judge has the final say on any and all controversial calls during gameplay.
No Whipping
Peepface is, above all else, a gentleman's game. Because it involves throwing projectiles at your friend's face, it can easily be ruined by over-zealous players. Keep in mind that the goal is not to bruise your friend's face with an adorable marshmallow treat, it's simply to hit him in the face with a Peep and drink heavily while doing so. Therefore, throwing incredibly hard during gameplay is highly frowned upon, with the exception of a rebuttal throw.
No Flinching
When your opponent is throwing a Peep at you, you are not allowed to move or flinch under any circumstances. You may close your eyes, but dodging, whether intentional or unintentional, is strictly forbidden regardless of how close the Peep comes to making contact with you. If you flinch, your opponent gets to re-throw. Flinching is determined by the judge. The judge may issue a "flinch warning" at his/her discretion, but frequent/repeated flinching will result in re-throws.
Foot Fault
A pre-determined fault line must be established by the Judge after the 15-pace distance has been determined. Players are not allowed to step over the fault line. Elbows and arms are permitted to cross the line during the throw. The Judge must monitor Foot Faults closely. In the event of a foot fault, all points are nullified and the thrower re-throws the Peep.
Brushbacks, Holdbacks, and Over-the-Tops
The only way to score points in Peepface is to hit your opponent directly in the face. Hitting your opponent in the body, neck, ears, or hair counts as a miss. Rules have been created for opponents who have long hair or are wearing hats. At any point in the game, a player can call for a "Brushback". The player's opponent must brush their hair back to reveal as much of their face as possible, in order to give the thrower a fair shot at a Peepface.
In cases of extremely long/floppy hair, a player can call for a "Holdback". The player's opponent must hold their hair back from their face for the entirety of the throw (be advised: if the Peep bounces off of your opponents arm and hits them in the face while they're holding their hair back, it will count as a Peepface. This is the consequence for having long hair).
If a player's opponent is wearing a hat, the player may ask for an "Over-the-Top" at any point during the game. This requires the player's opponent to turn their hat around and align it as close to the hairline as possible, in order to give the thrower a fair shot at a Peepface:
The Max Out
If a player has accrued 26 points or more and their opponent has not yet reached 26 points, the player can choose to "Max Out". A max out means that the player is betting the rest of their available points for one final all-or-nothing throw. The player gets to take one normal-sized step forward for this final throw. If the player scores a Peepface, their opponent accrues the points. If the player misses, the player loses because they've wagered the remainder of their points, and the game is over.
Rebuttal Throws
This is the only time in Peepface when a player should throw a Peep at their opponent's face as hard as they can. Rebuttal throws are rewarded to the losing team (so that nobody really loses in Peepface). Losing players are permitted to throw one Peep at their opponent as hard as they can. If the opponent flinches during a rebuttal throw, the thrower gets to take one step forward and re-throw as hard as they can. You do not want to flinch when you're on the receiving end of a Rebuttal.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Kosher Bubbles
Connoisseurs of Coca-Cola and other soft drinks sweetened with high- fructose corn syrup have been scouring grocery stores in recent weeks. They’re searching for the rare yellow-capped versions of these sodas designated kosher for Passover. During the Jewish holiday, consumption of certain grains, including corn, is prohibited by kosher dietary laws. So once per year, soft-drink makers substitute the corn-derived sweetener with pricier sucrose. This creates beverages that are closer to the original formulations, and according to soda mavens, the sucrose sweetener is less cloying than its corny cousin.
Although special batches of soda may seem like a supermarket oddity, the truth is that kosher foods take up a lot of space on grocery store shelves. Roger Horowitz, a food historian and author of “Putting Meat on the American Table: Taste, Technology, Transformation,” estimates that 40–50% of food items in the supermarket are kosher. That is, they meet the strict dietary guidelines set by Jewish law. Basically, a kosher diet excludes certain animals, such as swine and shellfish, and kosher meat must be slaughtered in a particular way. When keeping kosher, it’s forbidden to mix meat and dairy products, and kosher grape products, such as wine and grape juice, need to be made by Jews.
Thousands of years ago, when the kosher laws were written, such distinctions were easy to make. With modern-day foodstuffs, however, that’s not the case. Even the vanishingly small amounts of chemical additives and flavorings in foods must meet strict guidelines in order for them to be certified kosher.
“It was very difficult before the late-20th century for observant Jews to go into a supermarket and buy something just like everybody else,” says Horowitz, who is currently writing a book on kosher food science during his tenure as a fellow at the Chemical Heritage Foundation. He estimates that in 1970 there were, perhaps, 3,000 kosher foodstuffs available on supermarket shelves. “Many of these products were things like salt and pickles—things that were kosher the way they were made. There weren’t any changes involved,” he says.
Things gradually got better so that by 1985 there were 10,000 kosher products on the market, and by the early part of the new millennium the number had ballooned to more than 70,000.
“Coca-Cola was probably the first iconic food product to become certified kosher,” Horowitz says. Back in the 1930s, Coca-Cola approached Atlanta-area Rabbi Tobias Geffen to see about the soda becoming officially kosher. To do so, Geffen needed to know everything that’s in Coke, Horowitz says, including the famous secret ingredient. No matter how proprietary the knowledge, rabbis need to know everything that goes into a product in order to certify it. “The rabbis then promise that they won’t tell anybody,” he adds.
In the process of certifying Coke as kosher, Geffen discovered a problem: The chemical glycerin, also known as glycerol, is used as a flavor dispersant in the cola.
Glycerin is often derived from rendered animal fat, so its source can be nonkosher: a pig or even a cow that was not kosher-slaughtered. So, Horowitz explains, the question for the rabbis at the time became: Does it matter where the glycerin comes from? “In other words,” Horowitz says, “if it’s no longer a pig, if it’s a chemical extracted from the pig and the chemical itself bore no resemblance to the pig that it came from, can it be kosher?”
Geffen determined that the source does matter. Glycerin that comes from a nonkosher source cannot be kosher.
This decision turned out to be something of a watershed, Horowitz notes. “There are a lot chemicals that go into food at insignificant levels or some chemicals that are involved in the making of food that aren’t contained in the final product,” such as the so-called release agents used to grease baking pans, he says.
“Suddenly you’re saying lots of chemicals that go into food have to be looked at. So it establishes some stringent precedents in kosher law,” Horowitz points out. “Rabbis have to become chemists to some degree,” he says. “They need to understand chemical composition, chemical origin, and chemical manufacturing. That’s a very sophisticated level of knowledge.”
Because you can’t make Coke without glycerin, the company turned to Procter & Gamble, which was using cottonseed oil to make Crisco at the time. P&G could also use cottonseed oil as a source for glycerin, which Coca-Cola then purchased to make kosher soda.
These days, kosher flavorings and chemical additives are far more commonplace. Tom Courtney, director of quality assurance for International Flavors & Fragrances, estimates that 65–75% of the flavorings the company manufactures for the North American market are kosher. “What continues to drive us is customer preference,” he says. The food companies that make up IFF’s customer base often require kosher-certified products.
Although it may only be identified as “natural and artificial flavors” on a nutrition label, an individual flavoring can be made of a dozen ingredients, and in some rare instances even as many as 100 compounds.
“When there are so many ingredients, obviously just ascertaining the knowledge of which ingredients are kosher and which are not kosher” is a massive undertaking, says Rabbi Don Yoel Levy, chief executive officer of OK Kosher Certification, in Brooklyn, N.Y. OK certifies 114,000 products, including more than 10,000 flavorings.
Additionally, notes Rabbi Yitzchak Hanoka, who is a rabbinic coordinator with OK, “the food manufacturing world is always looking to make something unique, something new and special, so we have to adapt to the climate in which we function.”
“There are a few flavor ingredients that are inherently not kosher,” notes Rabbi Yitzchak Gornish, a rabbinic coordinator and food scientist with OK. But 99% of flavorings can be kosher as long as they come from a kosher source. “That’s the challenge,” Gornish says.
Grape-based colorings and flavorings, such as cognac oils, for example, need to have been made by Jews in order to be considered kosher. Some people even take issue with tartaric acid, the sediment that forms in wine casks, Gornish says, insisting it come from kosher wine.
Ethanol, a popular solvent for flavorings, can also pose some interesting challenges for kosher certification. Because ethanol can be derived from a number of sources—wine, grains, and even milk—knowing its source becomes critical for the certifying rabbi. If the ethanol is derived from wine, it must be kosher wine in order for any flavoring processed with the ethanol to be considered kosher.
Levy recalls one flavor company in Southeast Asia that was getting all of its ethanol from New Zealand, where it was made from lactose in milk. All flavorings that the company prepared with ethanol had to be labeled as “dairy,” meaning that any food they were used in couldn’t be served with meat-based products. Ideally, a company would rather its flavor carry the “pareve” label, meaning it’s made without dairy, meat, or their derivatives and can be served with either meat or dairy foods.
Another challenge is ensuring that equipment that is shared between kosher and nonkosher flavorings is correctly sanitized between uses. A machine that was used to process animal-derived glycerin, for example, would need to be thoroughly cleaned before it could be used to process kosher, vegetable-derived glycerin, even though it’s the same molecule.
And what about that distinctive yellow-capped Coca-Cola? “Passover formulas are often made under special production with a rabbi present and under special conditions because there are many more sensitivities involved,” Hanoka says.
In fact, kosher certification agencies, such as OK, keep rabbis posted at food and flavor production sites around the world to ensure that kosher standards are kept during production. To certify the thousands of flavorings at IFF’s Dayton, N.J., facility, OK has two rabbis employed full-time there.
“As a historian of food, what amazes me is how prevalent kosher food is,” Horowitz says. In the U.S., observant Jews account for about 1 million people in a population of 300 million. “From a business standpoint this is a real puzzle,” he says. “How do you get these huge companies to invest in accommodating their food to a population that’s such a small minority?”
Horowitz suspects that it’s the strict requirements that actually broaden kosher food to other markets. Vegetarians and vegans can look for kosher certification to ensure that certain products, such as glycerin from animals, aren’t in their food. Likewise, Muslims, who also eschew pork products, can trust that anything labeled with kosher markings is pork-free. It’s being stringent for observant Jews, knowing the source of every molecule in a recipe, that allows other consumers to trust kosher certification, he says.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Fools Of April
All across the interweb, ridiculous stories are taken as the truth. But on April 1st, there is an actual conscious effort to add to the absurdities.April Fools' Day dates back centuries, but its origins remain unclear. A widespread theory is that it dates back to the adoption of the Gregorian calendar with the term April Fool applying to those who were still following the Julian Calendar. By tradition in most countries, people can pull pranks before noon on April 1 in the name of April Fools' Day but become the fool themselves if they do it in the afternoon. Many major sites continued the tradition of lighthearted hoaxes.
Google, who last year it claimed to have invented a new technology to "index your brain", continued their annual tomfoolery by renaming itself Topeka, The gag was ironic one-upmanship with the Kansas city, which renamed itself "Google, Kan." in March to help lure the company's experimental fiber-optic network. "Google employees once known as "Googlers" should now be referred to as either "Topekers" or "Topekans," depending on the result of a board meeting that's ongoing at this hour," Google said on its web site. The company also feigned a "vowel outage" on Gmail, and a version of Google Translate for animals.
Funny Or Die was revamped as Bieber Or Die, its home page riddled with the teenybopper star Justin Bieber. I say die over Bieber. Last April Fools' Day, the site was "bought" by country star Reba McEntire (Reba Or Die?). The Lesbian Q-Tip was in the joke a spoofed a number of famous viral videos, including "Dramatic Bieber" and "Bieber After the Dentist."
Coffee giant Starbucks announced it was launching the "Plenta", a giant 128 fluid ounce cup of coffee and the Micra, a tiny 2 fluid ounce cup, saying it would meet customer demand for "more and less coffee." And Ben & Jerry's offered a different type of treat - virtual ice cream. Other sites took advantage of the recent explosion of 3-D by launching their products in another dimension. Hulu added a 3-D viewing option that, when clicked, led to a mock Hulu "orientation" video. Google Maps and Google Books both unveiled 3-D versions. And YouTube offered the curious option of watching videos in text — essentially a stream of code instead of images.
But the pranks were not limited to companies. In a bid to close the city's budget deficit, New York's mayor's office announced on its Twitter feed that Mayor Michael Bloomberg had decided to sell naming rights for Central Park, the East River and even ubiquitous former mayor Ed Koch. "I appreciate the honor bestowed by the mayor when he included me with two of the city's major assets," Koch said by telephone. "I urge the bidding start at $25 million for me and $200 million for Central Park," he added.
A spoof website identical to the Boston Athletic Association's official site showed new, tougher qualifying standards for the city's annual marathon, as well as a much smaller total field of runners planned for 2011. Achieving a Boston qualifying time, or "BQ," is a holy grail for many runners. The suggestion that most would need to slice another ten minutes off their 26.2-mile race times caused howls of protest until the prank was realized.
News organizations, which often have to fend off fake news, embraced the day's mockery, too - British media have stuck to the tradition for years. The Daily Telegraph reported that ferrets were the key to delivering broadband to rural areas. The Guardian newspaper employed the services of its mixed-up April Fool correspondent Olaf Priol for a full page story on the ruling Labour party's secret ad campaign depicting Brown as a tough guy character from a Quentin Tarantino/Arnold Schwarzenegger film.
A newspapers also ran a spoof BMW ad offering branded roundels for BMW cars in the color of the political party the driver supports. "BMW is giving you the chance to personalise your car depending on your political view," the small print says under a picture of three BMW badges in red for Labour, blue for Conservative and yellow for the Liberal Democrats. The advert promises the badges can be replaced in seconds and in the event that the election, which is expected to be launched next week, results in a hung parliament.
Australian broadcaster ABC put out a spoof interview with an injured David Beckham in which the former England soccer captain said he was set to join the Australian national team, the Socceroos, as assistant manager and lead them to World Cup glory in South Africa this summer. On a more scientific note, Britain's Independent newspaper reported that London Underground was in talks with the body that created the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland about putting a similar particle collider into the underground tunnel system on the Circle Line. It said the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) has worked out that a particle collider could be created inside the tube line which will see proton beams traveling clockwise and counterclockwise "at speeds of 99.999999 percent of the speed of light within feet of Circle Line passengers stuck in perpetual immobility."
There's also some real stories that have come out on the 1st, which makes the whole day even more chaotic. Since Google is known for announcing ridiculous news stories, such as telepathic search engines, being taken seriously when you have real news can go either way. In 2004 (the same year they created job listings for the moon), they announced the release of Gmail. While this may not seem all that funny, many people still thought it was a prank because the idea of a mail service with one full gigabyte of storage seemed preposterous –at the time, Hotmail only offered 2 megabytes. They followed the success of this announcement by announcing the increase of the mail service’s storage to two gigabytes the next year, also on April Fools’ Day.
Figuring their employees played some really great jokes on each other, you could imagine that when an employee’s pet ball python escaped its enclosure on the holiday, the news was met with some disbelief. An email was sent out to the entire staff that started out, “The timing of this email could not be more awkward.” It then moved on to say: “Tempting as it might be, this is not an April Fool’s joke! We are sending this message to alert you to the situation and to let you know what to do in the event you see the snake." The beastie was eventually found and returned to his owner’s house a few days later.
CBS obviously had a lot to learn about making serious announcements on April 1st. Last year, they infuriated a number of loyal viewers by announcing the cancellation of the seventy-two year old daytime soap Guiding Light on April Fools’ Day.
There have been many situations where people do not believe a person has died, simply because of the date, and some of the best examples of this are all so strange that it’s not surprising that people believed the news to be a hoax. In 1984, one day before his 45th birthday, Marvin Gaye was murdered by his own father after intervening in an argument between his parents. Many fans refused to believe the news because it seemed so odd that his dad would have been the murderer. It wasn’t until the news was confirmed officially that many people stopped believing the murder was more than a cruel joke. Surprisingly, Marvin Senior was only found guilty of voluntary manslaughter and sentenced to five years imprisonment because his son beat him before the shooting.
If you heard a NASCAR champion nicknamed “The Polish Prince” died in a Hooters corporate plane, would you believe it? A lot of fans thought they were hearing a bad joke in 1993 when racing star Alan Kulwicki was announced to be dead in exactly those circumstances. And is there a more fitting day for a comedian to die than April Fools’ Day? While Mitch Hedberg actually died on March 30, 2005, the news wasn’t spread to the media until very late on March 31st. Not surprisingly, many people thought the death was merely a prank or a bad publicity stunt put on by Mitch himself.
Then there's the tsunami of 1946, when over 100 people died, largely because they believed storm warnings were a joke. The incident occurred after an massive earthquake on the Aleutian Islands near Alaska, which caused a series of massive tidal waves that spread all the way to South America. Most of the damage hit Hawaii though, where the tsunami reached up to 45 feet tall. Unfortunately, because so many people doubted the news of the impending tidal wave and refused to evacuate, over 165 people died -159 of them in Hawaii. Scientists are still unable to find any reason the 7.8 magnitude earthquake was able to launch such a massive tsunami. It was originally thought that the waves were intensified by a major underwater landslide in the area, but scientists have still found no evidence of this hypothetical landslide. One of the researchers who recently mapped the ocean floor looking for a landslide in the area summed up the matter by noting, “almost 60 years after the event, the 1946 tsunami is still making fools of all of us.”
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
A Touch Irish...Just For The Day
However, an estimated total of 36,278,332 Americans — just about 11.9% of the total population actually report Irish ancestry. You can add another 3.5 million if you want to include Scots-Irish ancestry.The Rasmussen Report also found that 69% of adults do not plan to drink today. That other 11% who haven't made up their minds yet are debating whether it will help them get laid or that they'll need to drive their drunker friends around. The level of drinking has held steady for the two previous years but is down from 26% in 2007. Reasonably, that year St. Patrick's Day was on a Saturday.
Men under 40 are significantly more likely to drink than older men or women in general. Whites are twice as likely as blacks to have a drink today (though I still expect the Black Irish to toss a few back). Government employees are more inclined to toast the day with a drink than those who work in the private sector, but they're more likely to drink on non-holidays.
Americans are evenly divided, on whether they'll wear green today. Forty-two percent say they will sport the color, but another 42% will not. Sixteen percent aren't sure, wondering if they have something in their wardrobe that will look flattering. And any of the 16% that are part of the 11% undecided on drinking, well, they're just buzzkilling assholes. Women are far likelier than men to wear green to celebrate the holiday, though younger Americans are more likely to wear green than their elders.
Only eight percent of Americans consider St. Patrick's Day one of the nation's most important holidays. Fifty-four percent view it as one of the country's least important holidays, while 34% say it's somewhere in between. For most Americans, Christmas and Independence Day top the list of the nation's most important holidays. Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day have been at the bottom of the list for several years now. These findings are largely unchanged from a year ago. Men attach more importance to the holiday than women do, and entrepreneurs value St. Patrick's Day more than those in any other employment category. Do we have that many enterprising dwarfs?
Now you have some data you can share tonight while you're loading up on Irish spirits.





