If you're a student of history - or just alive and barely above retarded, then you know people are going to be miserable thinking about the events of nine years ago. There's a F1 race in Monza, amongst other things happening. C'mon everyone, get upbeat!
Best of the week: Social scientists (as opposed to, say anti-social scientists) have analyzed a massive amount of data and determined that it takes roughly $75,000 a year to make a person happy. The researchers asked over 450,000 participants to rate their lives on a scale of zero to 10, and then determined "emotional well-being" by asking people whether they had been stressed or unhappy the day before. Hmmm, that doesn't seem super accurate in the long term to rating "happiness". Actually, they were looking at how emotional well-being is affected by income, and were not claiming that quality of life doesn't improve when people make more than $75,000 per year. Instead, they determined income strongly affects people's happiness when they make under $75,000.
They said difficult events like illness become harder to bear emotionally, and getting a raise brings a great deal of happiness. But once people make more money than $75,000, their moods are less affected by how much money they make. People who make more money aren't as stressed by divorce, and aren't as excited by raises as their less wealthy counterparts. I guess $75,000 is a good starting point, but I doubt they checked in with people who were in the $750,000 neighborhood.
And: One of the greatest dangers of the future are drug resistant antibiotics, which are becoming more common. Lucky for us, scientists at the University of Nottingham have discovered an effective antibiotic in something that's very common...cockroaches.
According to research, the central nervous system of cockroaches is nearly 90% effective in killing drug-resistant bacteria, which must be why those bastards can live through a nuclear war. Clearly, their nasty, vile living conditions have juiced up their immune system to order to survive, making roach brains are loaded with natural antibiotics. Let's just take the potential good news and not ask how the hell they figured this out, let alone ended up on that research path.
Best picture of the week:
Jason Hernandez, artist and Master of the Universe
Best bonus links:
• Goodwill Store Gets A Gun, Drugs, Explosives In Donation Box - What poor family couldn't use some weaponry?
• Top 30 Hottest Jewish Women Under 40 - For my Jews...Happy Sexy New Year!
• Jaguar Dumps Swimmer After Anti-Gay Tweet - "Suck on that faggots" is a gay slur? If it's leveled at a rugby team is it? I thought Aussies were more macho than that...and isn't tweeting anything inherently gay?
• Snooki Due In NJ Court On Charge Of Being Annoying - Guilty...even before going to trial! That'll save some tax dollars.
• The Thirty Greatest Moments In Pedobear History - I'm shocked that his 2010 Winter Olympics appearance wasn't included.
• Google Instant Makes Search Psychic - Except for the part were it doesn't recognize anything beyond PG-13 terms.
• 2 Killed By Metrolink Train Were Sleeping On The Tracks, Authorities Believe - That's one hell of an alarm clock. Serves 'em right.
• At 43, Torres Starts Training For 2012 Olympics - A bad time to start swimming, but if you've already got five behind you, then it's impressive.
• The Dirtiest Vanity Plates Ever Slipped Past The DMV - FSTDANL wasn't up there...is it still available?
• Joey Chestnut Lost To A Woman - In the world of competitive eating, don't get beaten by a 105-pound 42-year old.
• Aces Mark Racing For NHL’s 9-11 Victims - The only way to pay tribute and still fill out the racing forms.
• So This Exists...All-Marshmallows Cereal - Can it be considered cereal if there's none in it?
• 10 Hottest Dirty-Named Teachers Caught Sleeping With Students - If you had Ms. Blowsteens, you don't need to worry about studying too much.
• Giant Hay Bale Kills Former ELO Cellist - Up until now, the most embarassing thing to happen to him was being the cellist from ELO.
• Marines Capture Pirate Ship Using Pure Intimidation - Damn, we're tough!
• Which Current Players Will Own Their Sweater Numbers In NHL - In case you're a nerd and you like that kind of thing...
• Missouri Man Accused Of Keeping Woman As Sex Slave - And the story gets more interesting when you find out his name is Ed Bagley.
Worst of the week: These are just a few of the headline from the other side of the border:
"85 prisoners escape jail on Mexico-U.S. border"
"Drug Hitmen Kill 25 In Mexican Border City"
"Clinton says Mexico drug wars starting to look like insurgency"
"Weary of drug war, Mexico debates legalization"
Mexico has almost become a caricature of it's worst qualities...and it's going to keep getting worse. To call it a lawless shithole would be polite, and the idea of a wall along the border is starting to sound real good. President Felipe Calderon has no control in his own country, and since he came into office in 2006, cartel violence has been rampant and the death toll have topped 28,000.
They can't keep order or suppress the cartels, and they think that if you can't beat them, join 'em? Brilliant idea. An expert on Mexico's criminal syndicates said the government is too weak to legalize and regulate narcotics and marijuana, and the country"does not even have the capacity to regulate its pharmaceutical products." The comparison to Colombia of 20 years ago, when drug traffickers controlled portions of that country, is becoming ever more true.
Mexico, get your fucking shit together.
And: Hipsters suck. And finally, we may be rid of their media-saturating presence.
They rocked out as iPod silhouettes, played counterpart to the PC in Apple ads, and became the image of Urban Outfitters and American Apparel. Now, the same companies that courted the "hipster" demographic have dropped the connection, as the term has become a dirty word. Many consumers of indie music, art and culture who appear to fit the hipster mold are now shying away from the stereotype.
The first hipsters, aka "hepsters" or "hep cats," were urban black jazz aficionados who hung out in places like Harlem, but by 1994, after making the cover of Time, the rise of the hipster coincided with the rise of independent music, arts and culture. Eventually, the label began applying less to the "trendsetters who created cool", and instead referred to the gullible consumers who "represented the worst of bourgeois affectations". And for people who did enjoy indie culture, they were now crowned with the now-unpopular term, that presented an image problem..
"It is not a desirable stereotype to be associated with, and in my work I refrain from calling anyone a hipster unless they would like to self-identify," said a researcher. "As you might guess, almost nobody self-identifies."
Worst picture of the week:
You know you're tired of James Cameron's film when the pron turns you off
Worst bonus links:
• Swedish Jeans Company Debuts The Queerest Fashion Line Ever - Assless chaps? Nipple clamps? Crotchless shorts? Gay it up, you naughty Swedes.
• James Franco Is A Chronic Masturbator - I believe the term is actor / chronic masturbator.
• Alonso: If I Win 2010 Title, It Will Be Because I Deserve It - I like to think that if you lose the title, it will be because you deserve it.
• Poll: Detroit And Los Angeles Most Stressful U.S. Cities - This does not make me feel good at all...
• Now Presenting The Lady Gaga Costume For Infants - For people who hate their own children, you've got another option!
• Electrocuted Bobcat To Blame For Ventura County Wildfire - Between that and the golfer who sparked a blaze with a ball, it seems that wildfires are living up to their name.
• LFO's Rich Cronin Dies At 35 - Wow, that too a long time to die from embarrassment.
• Taymor: Spider-Man About Story Despite Effects - This abortion somehow still rolls towards a debut, with a ton of spin. You don't need all the effects if you have a decent story, and you don't need U2 to write the music if it's not going to sound like U2.
• Woman With World's Largest Fake Boobs Now Has No Boobs At All - Sympathy? I don't think so. Karma does what it must.
• Fidel Castro Says Cuban Model Doesn't Work - And it only took him 50 years to figure it out.
• Will And Jada's Daughter Makes Her Record Debut - Fuck! Another Smith kid getting forced on the public? They're celebrities, not talent breeders.
• Justin Bieber Has Dedicated Servers At Twitter - That lesbian with a Q-tip haircut uses 3% of their resources at any given time. Again, isn't tweeting anything inherently gay?
• These Are The Best Dance Moves, According To Science - Science, I reject thee! Dancing, you were already rejected.
• Pilots Who Faked Resumes Back In The Air - Thanks, China...you've always looking for new ways to harm others!
• Cincinnati Bans Text Messaging While Driving - They've got all their other social and societal problems licked, so they had nothing better than to tackle this.
• The NHL Fake Tattoo Sleeve Potential Sign Of The Apocalypse - The single most stupid idea to ever try to bilk you out of a few more bucks.
• Lou Reed Not The Cause Of Susan Boyle's Missed 'America's Got Talent' Performance - What's worse, seeing Lou Reed or Susan Boyle? A real no-win situation.
