For the first time in more than a month, I'm not out of town or putting in extra hours at the office, and Scarlett is doing 48 hours in Sin City...you have no idea how excited I am to be able to stay at home and have some down time to get things organized. Okay, I'll leave to watch the European GP, but that's it...
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Best of the week: Hef may have lost his young tail, but there's still guys out there picking up the slack. So congratulate Doug Hutchison, the 51-year-old actor (from Lost, The X-Files, and The Green Mile) who married Courtney Stoddard...who is 16. And from the pictures, she looks barely a day under 25.
It should be noted that Stodden is signed to Hutchison's production company, Dark Water, which might have something to do with the wedding. And in order for it to happen, Stodden's mother gave parental consent so that the two could wed in Las Vegas, who aside from her support, added "Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl." Hutchison is four years older than his father in law, and Alex Stodden said, "Every father can only pray to have such a man behind their daughter." Sir, I imagine that's exactly where he is right now.
Best bonus links:
• Men Say 'I Love You' Before Women Do - Because men want to get laid before women do.
• One Dead, One Critical After Dallas Rave Party - And they said the rave as only so-so.
• Beautiful People Dumps 30,000 Ugly Members - Hopefully they'll use the refund for self improvement.
• Amy Winehouse Cancels Shows After Belgrade Blunder / Ailing Amy Winehouse Cancels Part Of European Tour / Amy Winehouse Cancels Entire Tour - Time heals all wounds.
• Lytro, The Camera That Could Change Photography Forever - What, I'm just going to tell you how? Follow the link!
• Gaylord Complex To Create 1,800 Jobs When Complete - That's a lot of gaylords!
• Topless Robot Presents The Best Scenes From The Green Lantern Movie - there's not many, but the review makes up for it.
• California Legislature To Forfeit Pay, Chiang Says - You can't make a legal budget on time, you don't get paid, plain and simple.
• Bristol Palin: I Lost My Virginity While Drunk - This, to the surprise of no one. It happened somewhere between the second and third wine cooler, and 10 minutes after Levi said he loved her.
• Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, It's Superman And Friends... Painted On Soviet War Statue By The Banksy Of Bulgaria - Vandalism has never looked so pop culture kitchy
• The Inner-Workings Of Mail-Order Music Clubs - Warning, it will cost more than a penny and you can not cancel at any time.
• Police: Gambling Mom Left Girl, 3, Alone In Motel - What, that kid had no poker face.
• Pervious Concrete Is Awesome, Kind Of Zen - Not to be confused with perverted concrete, which is nasty.
• Incompetent Chainsaw Attacker Flees From Bat-Wielding Man - This is going to be good!
• Sega Attacked, Hacker Group Offers To Take Revenge - Let's hope they don't employ a bat or chainsaw.
• Irony alert: Buy KFC's 800-Calorie Soda To Support Diabetes Research - Think of it as a literal investment in your health.
Worst of the week: A Jerusalem rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a dog it suspects is the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted the court's judges 20 years ago. This is why there can never be peace in the Middle East.
Apparently, the large dog made its way into the Monetary Affairs Court in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood of Mea Shearim in Jerusalem, frightening judges and plaintiffs. Despite attempts to drive the dog out of the court, it refused to leave the premises. One of the judges recalled a curse the court had passed down upon a secular lawyer who had insulted the judges two decades previously. Good luck following that logic train, but when you have judicial curses being issued, I guess anything is possible..
They believe the lawyer's spirit to moved into the body of a dog, an animal considered impure by traditional Judaism. One of the judges sentenced the animal to death by stoning by local children, but the dog managed to escape. Further proof it's the reincarnated lawyer! All I can say is oy vey.
Worst bonus links:
• Tritium Leaks Found At Many Nuke Sites - I don't even know what that is, but it sounds bad.
• Bay: New 3-D Transformers Better Than No. 2 - Uh, no, it's not better than shit. It's still shit..
• Master Chef Really Draws A Crowd - Especially when there are people digitally added to it.
• Deer Dropped By Eagle Knocks Out Power In Montana - Yep, life out in the boonies.
• Cuba: Seas To Rise More Than 30 Inches By 2100 - Bad news if you live on an island, but by then I think most of the people will have already gone to Florida.
• Gossip Girl Star To Play Jeff Buckley In Movie - Penn Badgely? JB is rolling in his grave.
• Report Says Big Southland Quake Would Have Huge Effect On Workforce And Economy - And this wasn't even the top story for The Common Knowledge Journal.
• 55-Foot 'Sea Monster' Washes Up In China - I thought all the Kardashian sisters were back in Los Angeles?
• Sarah And Bristol Palin Trademark Their Names - To what, Dumb and Dumber?
• Lulzsec Hackers Go To War With 4chan - Geek on nerd violence...when will the cycle be broken?
• Science Confirms It: Whining Is The Most Annoying Sound Ever - So now, officially, shut up bitch.
• Polo Player In Canucks Riot Apologizes - Savor it. That is the only time you will ever see the words "polo player" and "riot" in the same sentence ever again.
• R.I.P. Gene Colan And Peter Falk - Falk and Colon!
• Mother Charged With Killing Baby In Microwave - She should have used defrost and not cook.
• Hugh Hefner's Aborted Wedding Becomes A TV Special / Holly Madison Trashes Crystal Harris' Cancelled Wedding Day Bash / Crystal Harris Will Keep $90,000 Ring, Bentley From Hugh Hefner - The only thing less interesting than the magazine these days is the personal life of it's founder.
• PNC To Buy RBC Unit For $3.45 Billion - Too many initials. This just sounds like a bad idea.
• Jon Bon Jovi On Crutches After Strain - He should not have tried to hit that high note.
It should be noted that Stodden is signed to Hutchison's production company, Dark Water, which might have something to do with the wedding. And in order for it to happen, Stodden's mother gave parental consent so that the two could wed in Las Vegas, who aside from her support, added "Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl." Hutchison is four years older than his father in law, and Alex Stodden said, "Every father can only pray to have such a man behind their daughter." Sir, I imagine that's exactly where he is right now.
Best bonus links:
• Men Say 'I Love You' Before Women Do - Because men want to get laid before women do.
• One Dead, One Critical After Dallas Rave Party - And they said the rave as only so-so.
• Beautiful People Dumps 30,000 Ugly Members - Hopefully they'll use the refund for self improvement.
• Amy Winehouse Cancels Shows After Belgrade Blunder / Ailing Amy Winehouse Cancels Part Of European Tour / Amy Winehouse Cancels Entire Tour - Time heals all wounds.
• Lytro, The Camera That Could Change Photography Forever - What, I'm just going to tell you how? Follow the link!
• Gaylord Complex To Create 1,800 Jobs When Complete - That's a lot of gaylords!
• Topless Robot Presents The Best Scenes From The Green Lantern Movie - there's not many, but the review makes up for it.
• California Legislature To Forfeit Pay, Chiang Says - You can't make a legal budget on time, you don't get paid, plain and simple.
• Bristol Palin: I Lost My Virginity While Drunk - This, to the surprise of no one. It happened somewhere between the second and third wine cooler, and 10 minutes after Levi said he loved her.
• Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, It's Superman And Friends... Painted On Soviet War Statue By The Banksy Of Bulgaria - Vandalism has never looked so pop culture kitchy
• The Inner-Workings Of Mail-Order Music Clubs - Warning, it will cost more than a penny and you can not cancel at any time.
• Police: Gambling Mom Left Girl, 3, Alone In Motel - What, that kid had no poker face.
• Pervious Concrete Is Awesome, Kind Of Zen - Not to be confused with perverted concrete, which is nasty.
• Incompetent Chainsaw Attacker Flees From Bat-Wielding Man - This is going to be good!
• Sega Attacked, Hacker Group Offers To Take Revenge - Let's hope they don't employ a bat or chainsaw.
• Irony alert: Buy KFC's 800-Calorie Soda To Support Diabetes Research - Think of it as a literal investment in your health.
Worst of the week: A Jerusalem rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a dog it suspects is the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted the court's judges 20 years ago. This is why there can never be peace in the Middle East.
Apparently, the large dog made its way into the Monetary Affairs Court in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood of Mea Shearim in Jerusalem, frightening judges and plaintiffs. Despite attempts to drive the dog out of the court, it refused to leave the premises. One of the judges recalled a curse the court had passed down upon a secular lawyer who had insulted the judges two decades previously. Good luck following that logic train, but when you have judicial curses being issued, I guess anything is possible..
They believe the lawyer's spirit to moved into the body of a dog, an animal considered impure by traditional Judaism. One of the judges sentenced the animal to death by stoning by local children, but the dog managed to escape. Further proof it's the reincarnated lawyer! All I can say is oy vey.
Worst bonus links:
• Tritium Leaks Found At Many Nuke Sites - I don't even know what that is, but it sounds bad.
• Bay: New 3-D Transformers Better Than No. 2 - Uh, no, it's not better than shit. It's still shit..
• Master Chef Really Draws A Crowd - Especially when there are people digitally added to it.
• Deer Dropped By Eagle Knocks Out Power In Montana - Yep, life out in the boonies.
• Cuba: Seas To Rise More Than 30 Inches By 2100 - Bad news if you live on an island, but by then I think most of the people will have already gone to Florida.
• Gossip Girl Star To Play Jeff Buckley In Movie - Penn Badgely? JB is rolling in his grave.
• Report Says Big Southland Quake Would Have Huge Effect On Workforce And Economy - And this wasn't even the top story for The Common Knowledge Journal.
• 55-Foot 'Sea Monster' Washes Up In China - I thought all the Kardashian sisters were back in Los Angeles?
• Sarah And Bristol Palin Trademark Their Names - To what, Dumb and Dumber?
• Lulzsec Hackers Go To War With 4chan - Geek on nerd violence...when will the cycle be broken?
• Science Confirms It: Whining Is The Most Annoying Sound Ever - So now, officially, shut up bitch.
• Polo Player In Canucks Riot Apologizes - Savor it. That is the only time you will ever see the words "polo player" and "riot" in the same sentence ever again.
• R.I.P. Gene Colan And Peter Falk - Falk and Colon!
• Mother Charged With Killing Baby In Microwave - She should have used defrost and not cook.
• Hugh Hefner's Aborted Wedding Becomes A TV Special / Holly Madison Trashes Crystal Harris' Cancelled Wedding Day Bash / Crystal Harris Will Keep $90,000 Ring, Bentley From Hugh Hefner - The only thing less interesting than the magazine these days is the personal life of it's founder.
• PNC To Buy RBC Unit For $3.45 Billion - Too many initials. This just sounds like a bad idea.
• Jon Bon Jovi On Crutches After Strain - He should not have tried to hit that high note.
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