The Origin Issue

Hope you weren't too comfy with your DC superheroes and their decades of continuity, because it's rebootin' time!

The entire DC Comics line of comic books will be re-launched in September with new #1 issues that feature "younger", redesigned versions of the heroes. The move coincides with same day digital releases via DC's mobile applications and web store, and is on par with other notable reboots like New Coke and the American version of Skins. Over 50 titles will see their history erased and retooled for what DC Comics co-publisher Dan DiDio calls "today's audience". Let me give you a little hint fella, today's audience is not just yesterday's, but last century's...it's guys in their 20's, 30's and 40's who are your core, not school children and tweens.

All the big names - Batman, Superman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Wonder Woman and Aquaman, will "injected with new life" (a horrible clichè, even for comic books) as the stories "are grounded in each character's specific legend" but also "reflect today's real-world themes and events". So what, will Aquaman have to deal with the BP spill? Or was The Flash a NASCAR driver who gets special speed powers? They're men in tights with powers who fight villains - don't forget that.

Longtime DC artist Jim Lee (and other co-publisher) spearheaded the redesign of scores of costumes to "make characters more identifiable and accessible to comic fans new and old". Hold on - what the fuck!?! How can you make Batman more identifiable than the bat logo on his chest? Or Superman's spit curl and golden S? Or Wonder Woman's tits? People around the world can identify these heroes...they're at the top of their Q factor!

Sure, there have been re-launches to try to get some buzz, and titles changing slightly to start over and allow entry points for new readers, but never a full-on reset. Basically, this is a giant flail and a move born out of desperation and panic. You saw it on a smaller scale last year when Wonder Woman got a makeover which didn't last. DC has been losing market share on an annual basis since 2002 to Marvel, who has already done the reboot thing - but correctly.

Rather than trade the solid, built in audience created by years of cultivation for a pandering swipe at a younger generation, Marvel kept their regular comic line and made the reboot happen in a new, separate universe, which they branded the "Ultimate" line. Sure, Peter Parker became Spider-Man, and the X-Men were still mutants hated by society, but the Ultimate incarnations were free of their history, and therefore could have all those tales retold or remade with different twists. Gender changes, costume and origin redesigns were all fair game, and the Ultimate versions soon rivaled their older counterparts. Uh, why do you think Nick Fury looks like Sam Jackson and not this guy in all the Marvel films? The popularity and new take from the Ultimate line...

Comics Alliance points out several major events from recent years that have, for better or worse, factored into characters' histories:

The death of Superman; Clark Kent's marriage to Lois Lane; the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd; the activities of Damian Wayne, the son of Batman and Talia al Ghul; Crisis on Infinite Earths, Infinite Crisis and 52, the stories that defined the nature of the DC Multiverse itself; the crippling of Barbara Gordon, the original Batgirl; the defeat of Batman at the hands of Bane, resulting in the installation of the homicidal Jean-Paul Valley as Batman; the fall and redemption of Green Lantern Hal Jordan; The Sinestro Corps War, Blackest Night and the rest of the Green Lantern "emotional spectrum" mythology; Final Crisis and the journey of Bruce Wayne across time; the emergence of Batwoman Kate Kane; and the consolidation and reconciliation of dozens of characters from the Golden Age of DC Comics and their descendants, as depicted in books like JSA, Justice Society of America and Starman.

And if you don't know about most of those, congratulations, you are probably not a virgin. Mentioned above are several convoluted attempts to fix their fractured history - Crisis on Infinite Earths, Infinite Crisis, 52, Zero Hour, and Final Crisis. These massive crossovers and multi-part storylines were attempts to fix decades of fractured storytelling and failed reboots...and clearly didn't work. So why go all in again is more stunt and less strategy to me.

I've always been a Marvel fan, and it makes me happy to see that such a colossal move (and eventual catastrophic mistake) was done by the other guys...