An Avengers Assemblage

Half a century of superheroes, available for purchase!

The Alternate Avengers Ending

Fossil Avengers

Avengers, Retro-cemble!

Super Sniffers

The fanboy in me is super-excited about the upcoming Avengers film, but not so much about the merchandise that's being tied into it.

Just like the attempt to take any spare change for gamers while deodorizing them for the public, so is the move to bilk comic readers in a similar manner.   You may not be a superhero, but you can smell like what merchants (who also make Star Trek and Star Wars themed fragrances) think they do:

• Infinity Formula Cologne

Colonel Nicholas "Nick" Fury. Paratrooper, Ranger, Weapons and Demolitions Expert, Aircraft Specialistand Pilot, Green Beret. Veteran of every US War and Military Conflict since WWII. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. "The single most powerful, most important organization on the planet Earth." And the only human strong enough to bring together a group of remarkable people who would fight the battles no one else could.

• Patriot Cologne

A cologne that pays homage to the confident, stand-up-to-bullies, hard working average Joe in every man. PATRIOT Cologne is both reserved and sexy; like a symbol on a shield or a moniker ona motorcycle helmet. Fresh notes of green lime and white pepper are the first to hit with dry oak wood, sandalwood and tequila accords finishing the adventure. Perfect for any time or place, PATRIOT Cologne puts the Novus Mundus in your strong, sensuous hands for you to embrace and discover.

• Mark VII Cologne

A resolutely sophisticated cologne forged from the sea, the sun, the earth, and a touch of devil-may-care whimsy. Transparent, aromatic, and modern in nature, Mark VII combines mandarin, neroli, nasturtium and jasmine layered with light patchouli to create a contemporary expression of "I don't play well with others" confidence; leaving you always ready for whatever a genius, billionaire, playboy-philanthropist might encounter along the way.

• SMASH!

Very unusual and rare materials have been brought together to create a woody aquatic cologne evoking both a serene sense of timeless freedom and a single-minded, unbridled passion for life. Yuzu, bergamot and tarragon create clean, clear top notes along with unexpected accords of water lily and nutmeg. SMASH! then carries an intense woody drydown enriched with Indian sandalwood, vetiver, musk and sharp cedar. Complimentary to a full range of emotions, it wears well no matter where-at work, the lab or an evening out on the town.

• Worthy Cologne

This woody citrus cologne is a unique, meaningful combination of bergamot, frozen ginger and wheatgrass blended with a hint of fresh natural grapefruit and layered deeply with aromatic cypress. Basenotes are possessed with sensual, seductive tones of dark amber and cedarwood, protecting and enhancing a deep, dry masculine (dare we say almost God-like?) musk.

• Mischief

Possessed of Superhuman strength, Genius-level intelligence, Mystical powers, Telepathy, Flight, Clairvoyance, Therianthropy, and Teleportation... who could blame you for becoming the greatest trickster of them all? So wear your crown of baleful maleficence with pride; let mirth and mayhem stand ready at your side, anticipating your every command. Test their mettle knowing you have nothing to fear; you are Mischief and you were made to rule.

If they really wanted to make some money, they should sell panties that smell like the Black Widow.

Oldvengers

From the same cat that brought you a pre-version of The Empire Strikes Back.

Assembled Avengers?

The rumor gaining steam on the web is that Marvel Studios is in final negotiations for Joss Whedon (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse) to direct The Avengers.
The movie would mark Whedon's only second big-screen feature - the first being Serenity, the follow-on sequel to his TV series Firefly. Whedon has deep ties to the comic book world outside of the genre nature of his shows, not just producing and writing comics based on his properties, but the Astonishing X-Men as well. He was at one time attached to writing and directing a Wonder Woman feature film for Warner Bros, but that stalled before any final script approval or casting was made.

The fast-tracked film would amount to an all-star team of Marvel superheros, including Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), as well as SHIELD leader Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). Other signature superheros from the comic will likely be involved. Marvel has considered all of the individual superhero movies to be an intro to The Avengers.

After Iron Man 2, Marvel has three pictures left on a distribution deal with Paramount before it moves to Disney, and the studio has been churning them out. Iron Man 2 gets released in May, Captain America will begin shooting this summer in Europe, Thor is in production, and Marvel Studios has Runaways (based on the comic book series created by Lost writer Brian K. Vaughan) coming together.

I hope this turns out to be true, because he's exactly the kind of fanboy himself that knows the genre and would make the movie great. His television work was terrific, but there was a huge leap in quality from Firefly to Serenity, and that film really showcases the attitude a future Avengers movie would benefit from.

The Avengers is scheduled to premier May, 2012.