James Hackett is facing a felony assault charge after allegedly throwing an order of "hot and oily" McDonald's french fries at his 11-year-old stepdaughter, according to the Lowell, MA police. The girl was not harmed in the incident, but the report stated the action "could cause burning to skin and eyes."
After stopping by McDonald's, Hackett and the girl's mother were reportedly arguing about money in the car when the girl interject in an attempt to get the two to stop fighting. Hackett then allegedly "picked up the container of french fries he had just purchased, which were hot and oily, and threw it at [the girl], striking her in the face and chest area." He reportedly left the residence on a motorcycle after they returned home from McDonalds, and was later tracked down after his wife called the police. The official charge "is assault and battery with a dangerous weapon to wit french fry."
Really, Lowell Police Department? Fuck you. We'll have to wait for the pre-trial conference August 10 to make sure the city's attorneys have not also lost their mind and dismiss the whole thing.
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