Like A Bryan Adams Song

Color me impressed that Paul Wolfowitz resigned his position with the World Bank.

Okay, don’t.

White House puppet and former war attache, Wolfie was the Bush cabinet shill who just couldn’t help himself as he abused his position and influence as the bank’s reigning chief to give his girlfriend, also an employee of the bank, a pay and promotion deal in 2005. Mind you this is his girlfriend.

There’s a long list of governmental official and politicos who’ve been discredited and shamed because of their immoral and unethical actions as a result of being p-whipped, but never have I seen a such a nasty slag create such a stir. And I’m including Camilla Parker-Boles.

The whole thing bothers me for several reasons. Obviously, Wolfdick compromised the bank's credibility and ability to fight global poverty by bringing unnecessary scrutiny to the organization about its internal practices and drawing attention away from it function. But beyond casting the World Bank in an ill light, he made a made an international issue out of a fairly small and selfish move. This fug troll was already his companion and he bumped her salary and compensation up beyond its range within too short a time – and that’s all there is to it. No awesomely Machiavellian scheme like Devil Cheney’s fleecing of the nation via Halliburton or even an Enron or WorldCom level rape of a business.

Like Capone going down for tax evasion, this is pretty weak sauce. If you’re going to be an unscrupulous bastard, you have to go big. Clinton didn’t just hose down his intern, he fucked everything. Same with JFK. Reagan had his Iran-Contra affairs and a pre-presidential hostage deal. Pardon the simplification, but Wolfen is a manager who gave one of his waitresses a better shift and a day off because she’s banging the boss.

And when you decided you’re going to sacrifice your reputation and career for a piece of strange, for God’s sake, make sure it’s a young, hot piece of ass, not something that lives under a bridge and has 120 hit points. If Shaha Riza was half her age and weight, most people would at least nod and say it made sense, because nappy old dudes like Wolfer can’t pull good tail without some semblance of power or money. Anna Nicole didn’t have a fetish for wrinkled nutsacks no more than any other young chippie who sees dollar signs and privilege within an opportunity – it’s just what they have to offer for what they get in return. At least when politicians get ousted because they did some prostitutes, they look more like the working girls and not the madam. You get nothing for fucking a monster like Riza.

Rather than be ousted and have the public humiliation at its peak, Wolfman did what so many disgraced figureheads do and resigned, but for me, he tanked that move. I’m always impressed when folks pull an R. Budd Dywer and make a permanent resignation, because nothing says “I fucked up” like a bullet in the head. It would have been the clear response if he was caught molesting retarded children, but to amp up the stupidity and soft failure of his actions, as grand reaction like that would have made it all easier to overlook. Adolf and Eva were shot in the head, covered in petrol, and found in a ditch…is it too much to ask for that level of apology or consistency when people get busted publicly for their scandals?