House Party

Slowly, you are finding out my voracious appetite for TV dramas. Three seasons of Battlestar Galactica, Nip / Tuck season four – plus there was season five of The Shield in-between them until it finished yesterday, Heroes on a weekly basis…and now, House, M.D. Watching the first two seasons should get me through until I can get my hands on the final season of Deadwood June 5th, but I sure as hell will try and get the current season under my belt by then.

For those who don’t know, Dr, Greg House is a prick. The most brilliant doctor on staff, he guides his trio of young specialists though mysterious and rare ailments, while he himself attempts to avoid having to actually deal with patients or work in the clinic wing with walk-in charges. His sarcasm, contempt, and cynicism are equal to his genius, as he hobbles around on a bum leg, popping painkillers like candy. Five minutes of House, M.D. is more interesting than a whole season of Grey’s Anatomy.

Naturally, having seen the show a few times now I’ve picked up on it beats. Homer does something stupid and gets in trouble on The Simpsons. Jerry dates a beautiful girl who ends up having a fatal flaw on Seinfeld. Nobody says or does anything remotely funny on Two And A Half Men. So, knowing the beats, I turned the already enjoyable experience of watching into a charming drinking game to enjoy with friends and family (especially children).

The rules are simple - first person to call the action gets to drink or assign.

Take one drink whenever:
House takes a Vicodin

House consults and subsequently insults a patient on general rounds

a patient gets a MRI

Cuddy and House exchange insults

House gets in or out of an elevator

House watches General Hospital

Foreman and House are talking alone

any character but House mentions his cane or disability

Assign a drink:
House has a lollipop

Cameron gets insulted by something House says

aerial shot of Princeton Hospital or grounds

camera goes inside someone to how a virus, bacteria, cell, or organ

a patient get defibrillated

Cuddy busts House watching the clock to avoid seeing patients

House makes a reference to his cane or disability

any doctor brings up legions in the brain

Audible: first person to yell the phrase gets to assign one drink
"differential diagnosis" - before House says it when he first sits with his team to determine the problem

"nerd" - when Chase is looking under a microscope or doing lab work

"sniff ‘em and get high" - the first time the white board and markers are pulled out

"O' captain, my captain" - when Wilson is talking alone with House

"old school" - whenever Foreman makes a reference to his days as a criminal delinquent

"get dressed" - when Cameron is plain clothed and not wearing any hospital wardrobe (lab coat, scrubs)

"mutiny" - when Chase, Foreman, and Cameron talk amongst themselves about House being wrong

“Avon calling” - when any members of the team break into a patient’s home looking for clues

“Billy Joel” – when House plays something on his piano