Doping Cycle

Forget injections - meat is the new way to get your illegal performance enhancers!

Three time Tour De France winner Alberto Contador blamed "contaminated meat" for his positive doping test. That may work if you're talking about how you got HIV, but banned substances? The bad piece of filet mignon, he says, was to blame for a "very small concentration" of the banned substance clenbuterol that was found his urine sample on July 21 during the most recent Tour.

"The idea of anyone questioning my Tour victory does not worry me," the Spanish cyclist said. "I am not going to let something like this destroy everything I have done." You mean cheating?  No, don't let that stand in your way. Contador was provisionally suspended by the International Cycling Union (the sport's governing body, not a small eastern European nation) after a World Anti-Doping Agency lab determined both A and B samples were positive. The anti-doping lab director said of the results, "Clenbuterol is a substance that has been used for over 20 to 30 years...It is not anything new. Nobody has ever suggested it is something you can take inadvertently."

Contador said the beef was brought across the border from Spain to France by a Spanish cycling organizer, Jose Luis Lopez Cerron, during a Tour rest day and at the request of the team's chef. Ah, the finger of blame rests with this meat rustler.  Cerron said he was a friend of the chef, who had complained of poor quality meat at the hotel where the team was staying. The tainted filet mignon was bought for the team in the Spanish border town of Irun. Contador and four other Astana teammates ate the beef on July 20, though he was the only one who underwent a doping test on July 21. Naturally, he ate more of the meat that day, explaining that although it wasn't normal to eat steak a day before racing, "it was too good to waste". Especially if it has clenbuterol!

Clenbuterol has anabolic properties that build muscle while burning fat. It is commonly given to horses to treat breathing problems, and medicinally it is used to treat asthma. Like stimulants such as amphetamine or ephedrine, it can increase the heart rate and body temperature. Clenbuterol is sometimes given to cows, pigs and other animals to increase their growth rate, but how much would they have give a cow for it to make it through to show up in a person who ate it?  Really, think about it.  You could take any average person eating the same farm's meat and should get a similar result...if that nonsense was true.

Cycling has long been plagued with doping scandals. Within hours of Contador's case becoming public, the UCI announced that two Spanish riders failed drug tests during the Spanish Vuelta in September, testing positive for hydroxyethyl starch, which increases blood volume. There has been no indication yet if Contador will be banned or stripped of his latest Tour title. If they did, Contador would be just the second cyclist to be forced to relinquish it - Floyd Landis, was stripped of his 2006 Tour title after a positive test. For years, Landis denied doping but admitted this spring that he used performance-enhancing drugs - and you can expect the same out of Contador.

Backscatter Your Hood

Everybody knows about black helicopters, but what about black vans?

News that that the US is buying custom-made vans packed mobile x-ray units for use at major sporting events, or possibly at random to look for bombs or contraband, has got folks worried for both their health and privacy. The debate will surely test the boundary between the government's legitimate security interest and privacy expectations Americans enjoy in their cars.

American Science & Engineering has sold more than 500 ZBVs Backscatter Vans to US and foreign governments, and while the Department of Defense has bought a majority for war zone use, US law enforcement have also deployed the vans to search for bombs inside the US (like wherever Katherine Heigl films are playing). The mobile X-ray technology works by bouncing narrow X-ray streams off an object (like a car) and then analyzes the scatter rate of the returning rays. Less dense objects seen by operators could be bodies...or bombs.

The backscatter X-ray is already part of an ongoing debate about its use in so-called full body scanners being deployed in many US airports and courthouses. Officials have said they "will not store or share the images and will use masking technology to avoid revealing details of the human body", but we've already heard that lie before.

Still, there are many active suits to stop their deployment. Proponents call it a powerful counter-terror strategy. But opponents point to the broad search-and-seizure power law enforcement has on public highways, where a search warrant is often not needed for officers to instigate a physical search.

...And Yet, Jeff Dunham Lives

It was shocking to hear that Greg Giraldo had accidentally overdosed at a party, but that he slipped into a coma and died yesterday, well, that really bummed me out.  Between that and Robert Schimmel, it's been a suckass month for funny guys going away far too soon.  Gilbert Godfried made a perfect crack that Giraldo would have appreciated, but here's a virtual roast of the comedian.  And when that's done, here's a ton of great material and laughs.

I Won't Say How Old, But She's Catching Up

Happy birthday to Famous Sister, who may be getting older, but can still enjoy the 14 month gap.  And in honor of old...this picture.  A goatee? Pinstripes like the Pumpkin Gangster?  She ages like wine and I'm vinegar.  Love ya, sis!

Sunrise, Sunset

How do you get to Sunrise, Florida? Not on Google maps.

For almost a month, the city didn't exist on the interweb search engine. Whenever anyone searched for Sunrise, they were re-directed to Sarasota, which is 200 miles away. H4x0r by the Sarasota Chamber of Commerce?

Believe it or not (but do), this is the 3rd time that Sunrise and it's 90,000 inhabitants has disappeared from Google Maps. The local businesses in have felt the aftereffects of not being searchable on Google saying that business was down during the month because quite simply, no one could find them. Hmmm, maybe it's a plot by the folks at the Yellow Pages?

The worst part is, there's been no official word from google as to why the town keeps disappearing and reappearing. Does Google just hate that state? Is it possible it's the teleporting mountain from Krull? Now Florida is finally cool!

She's Got That X-Factor (Not Really)

Does England have a Jersey Shore? Or is it just being on the Atlantic creates trash?

Chloe Heald, aka "Chloe Mafia" or "Chloe Victoria" as she called herself on television, goes by "Candy" when she advertises herself on a British escort site. Candy is a "100% English Yorkshire dirty slut", and her most recent sex ad was posted a few days before she appeared on The X Factor.

Allegedly, her asking price was $250/hour or $1600/night, but after her appearance, she's up to $400/hour or $2400/night. Chloe maintains the stories are false and that she is merely a private dancer. Hmmm, I think the 19-year-old is really a prostitute, and that it's said she's been arrested 140 times and has a two-year-old daughter doesn't change my mind. Sometime the proof is in the Yorkshire pudding...or videos of her doing coke and being deconstructed from her nasty whorebag state.

Vegas Death Ray

Maybe it's not a great advertising point when your guests get burned by your hotels.

The Vdara (what the fuck does that mean anyway) Hotel at CityCenter is a south-facing tower and reflector of sun rays that can burn people and melt plastic drink cups. Hotel pool employees call the phenomenon the "Vdara death ray", though management have softened the phenomenon, calling it a "hot spot" or "solar convergence". Designers foresaw the issue, and thought they had solved it by installing a high-tech film on south-facing glass panes. The film scatters more than 70% of reflected rays, but the rest is still enough to blast your ass.

Bill Pintas experienced the death ray firsthand recently. The lawyer was sunning on a recliner when he became so uncomfortably hot that he had to run for shade. His sandals were too hot to touch, and he smelled an odor coming from his head, which was where a bit of hair had been scorched. He took a photo of the plastic bag that once held his newspaper that had partially melted, which he sent to the local paper. By the way, plastic shopping bags have a melting point between 120 and 130 degrees, and disposable cups melts at around 160 degrees.

Vdara's curved southern wall basically acts as a parabola to collect and intensify the afternoon rays, and is not the only structure in town to dish out solar punishment. Both the AdventureDome at Circus Circus and the Mandalay Bay have reflection issues, though these older buildings can absorb the critical press better than new buildings. Similarly, the Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles had to tone down its reflectivity by sanding some of its curving exterior metal surfaces after raising temperatures in nearby buildings and impairing the vision of passers-by.

Dying Days

Everyone just died. Okay, that's hyperbole, but look at who just kicked it in the last day or so:

• Sally Menke (56), Quentin Tarantino's longtime film editor. She went hiking with her dog amidst the 113 degree heat yesterday. Menke and a hiking buddy set out about 9 a.m. to hike a trail in Bronson Canyon (near the Hollywood sign). An hour later, her partner decided to turn back. They found her body early this morning at the bottom of a ravine. No cause of death was immediately reported, and they're not saying if heat was a factor...but let's do the easy math.

• Gloria Stuart (100), who banged Leo DiCaprio and survived the sinking of the Titanic...on film. She starred in The Invisible Man, Busby Berkeley's Gold Diggers Of 1935 and the Shirley Temple movies Poor Little Rich Girl and Rebecca OfSunnybrook Farm. Her turn as contemporary Kate Winslet in James Cameron's disaster film earned her a best supporting actress nomination. The cause was listed as respiratory failure.

• Joseph Cerniglia (39), the owner of Campania restaurant in New Jersey. Cerniglia was on Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” — and was told by the venomous TV chef that his debt-ridden eatery was “about to swim down the Hudson”.  It seemed like sound advise, because he was found floating in the river after jumping off the George Washington Bridge. He is the second chef to commit suicide after appearing on the reality-cooking series.  See, reality television kills not just my brain cells, but it's contestants.

• Ralph Vicinanza (60), the literary agent to such authors as Stephen King, Augusten Burroughs and the Dalai Lama. He also worked with Norman Mailer, Carl Sagan and Philip K. Dick, and upon founding his own agency in 1978, signed up some of the world's top science fiction and fantasy writers, including Terry "sword douche" Pratchett, Robert Heinlein, Frank Herbert and George R.R. Martin. King credits Vicinanza with the idea for serializing The Green Mile. Vicinanza died of a brain aneurysm.

• Nicholas A. Marsh (37), a Justice Department prosecutor in the prosecution of Senator Ted Stevens. Stevens' corruption charges were eventually thrown out over allegations of prosecutorial impropriety, and he and the other attorneys were under investigation. Marsh committed suicide, which is a waste of all that study time trying to pass the bar. (I'd say who cares, but apparently it was important enough to make the national news pages)

"Like Tijuana On Cinco De Mayo"

In case you can't wait for more cat-monkey women, here's your panacea.

Hembakat är Bäst

Carl Kleiner's new cookbook (Hembakat är Bäst, or Homemade Is Best) for Ikea doesn't bother to show you a magnificent, finished dish. But you do see exactly what goes into it...

Pepparkakor

Mandelmussla

Lingonpeparkaka

Semlor

Klenätter

120 Lbs Of Irony (And Rotors And Gears And Polycarbonate)

The wealthy British businessman who owns the company that manufactures the Segway was been found dead in a river in northern England, hilariously after apparently falling off a cliff on one of the vehicles. C'mon, you know that's awesome.

Jimi Heselden (62) and his Segway were found in the River Wharfe, and he was pronounced dead at the scene. A witness reported seeing a man fall over a 30 foot drop into the river. It kinda makes those racing flames on the side seem a little garish now. Police added the incident was not suspicious, which means that they do not believe anyone else was involved, and that his death is still laughable.

Heselden bought control of the American-based company just in December, with a fortune made through his development of a successful blast wall system that replaced the sand bags used to protect troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. The company has been under scrutiny before for it's safety, though it is not believed that the this was anything more then pilot error. Back in 2006, all vehicles were recalled because of a software problem that could cause its wheels to reverse direction. President George W. Bush and TV host Piers Morgan are among the many who have been injured by the machine, and there are countless Segway mishaps on YouTube.

Here is a conveniently timed list of ironic deaths, y'know, for further reading...

Black Rainpolcalypse

Colbert On the Mount

"Stephen Colbert" commandeered a hearing on migrant farm workers this morning with lewd one-liners and sass. Finally, C-Span got interesting!

"I would like to submit a video of my colonoscopy into the Congressional Record," Stephen Colbert said (in character) to the lawmakers. "Sorry for saying cornpacker, I know it's an offensive term for gay Iowans," he directed at conservative Iowa Rep. Steve King. And he made reference to getting a "Brazilian" — a wax-based hair-removal service in a very delicate area of the body — from a Chilean at a spa serving tomatoes sliced by a Guatemalan. All of that was quite different from the “prepared” testimony passed out to the media before he spoke - a bland, seemingly straightforward speech on migrant workers in America.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she hadn’t seen Cobert's testimony, but applauded him for testifying before Congress. “Of course I think it’s appropriate. He's an American, right? He came before the committee. He has a point of view. He can bring attention to an important issue like immigration. I think it's great.” Meanwhile, Rep. Judy Chu defended Colbert's appearance, noting that Republican-led committees had invited celebrities such as Elmo the muppet to testify in the past.

Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers implored Colbert to simply enter his testimony into the record without speaking, to which Colbert replied, “No hablo Ingles”. Colbert began by recalling his day in fields at the invitation of the president of the United Farm Workers union. “Please don’t make me do this again, it is really, really hard...Most soil is at ground level. If we can put a man on the moon, how come we can’t make the earth waist-high. Come on, where is the funding?!"

News that Colbert would be testifying on the Hill had some fans lining up as early as 6:30 a.m. for a seat, and higher media attention than typical committee hearings, but if anything it succeeded in putting some focus on the migrants and Americans who pick fruits and vegetables in our country.  Fottage of this testimony can be found here.

Kids Have To Learn About That Tingle Sometime

It's not like it's racy like her other videos...

Backstage With Eric The Red

The Rape And Pillage Tour '95 made a stop in the UK, and played a few nights in Ireland. Who knew that it would be a favorite venue?

In their brutal road trip across most of the ninth century, Vikings eventually established two outposts in Ireland. The first location, Dúbh Linn, persevered and is known as Dublin. The other was lost in time...possibly until just recently.

Linn Duchaill had been an archaeological mystery, but just last week a settlement had been found 45 miles north of Dublin, in the village of Annagassan. Could that be it? The locals had long spoke of Viking raids dating back to 795 AD and a nearby lost settlement, backed up by an occasional discovery, like ancient handcuffs Vikings would have used on their slaves. In 2005, the search began, but it, and it wasn't until 2007 that they discovered a flat area upriver from Annagassan that could have been used for shipbuilding. With the help of a geophysicist (who was probably waiting for something to do - when have you heard of a geophysicist), a bunch of defensive ditches about fifteen feet deep were found.

The ditches were arranged in straight lines and didn't fit with the circular patterns of ring forts built by medieval Irishmen, and there was no evidence of a Norman castles. Excavations turned up 200 Viking attributed artifacts in about three short weeks. The settlement was big, and they had evidence of shipbuilding, carpentry, smelting, and even an artificial island that would have been used for defense (against the damn locals).

Archaeologists are hopeful that that they have found Linn Duchaill, though it would be known for sure until the artifacts are dated. But why did Dúbh Linn eventually become Ireland's most well known city, and Linn Duchaill disappeared? The scholars believe it had to do with access to the sea - Dublin enjoys pretty much constant access to the ocean, providing Vikings with an escape hatch if they were attacked. Linn Duchaill is blocked off from the sea for hours daily because of shifting tides, which could have made the outpost a deathtrap for the helmetheads.

Linus & Locke

Even before the will-they-or-won't-they get off the island finale, Lost's Ben Linus and John Locke Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn were talking about keeping their mojo going. Well, things are looking decent for their return to TV.

NBC has landed the rights to the project, coming from J.J. Abrams's production company and his co-horts who worked on Alias and the upcoming Mission Impossible 4. It's only a pilot commitment, but the show, which had been known as "Odd Jobs" and had the pair playing former black-ops agents or suburban hitmen, is a no-brainer to pick up - even by Hollywood's brainless standards.

Abrams already has Black Mr. And Mrs. Smith Undercovers on NBC, and shows in development at Fox (something about Alcatraz) and CBS (who cares - CBS is a shit channel), but you could do any premise with O'Quinn and Emerson and it would be worth watching. They were the two best parts of Lost (not counting Evangeline Lily and the rest of the female castaways in states of undress) - I'm in already.

A Storm Brewing

And now that you're familiar with it, a glimpse of the partially animated movie...

And in the meantime, background on "The Host" and "Storm" characters.

Frying Fish

Given the noise about the genetically enhanced super salmon, this fits in just fine. And of all places it comes from Sports Illustrated...and from over 45 years ago.

Howard Loeb was the senior aquatic biologist at the New York State Conservation Department Fish Laboratory in Livingston Manor, and instead of algae flakes, he's been feeding fish LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs. This is the nexus of the treatment of the mentally disturbed and commercial fishing.

Melting fishheads is just one of the things Loeb calls "the fun stuff—the thing that nobody knows anything about." He devised an electric pond-shocker that conservation workers use to obtain fish samples. His work on selective poison baits for carp extended far beyond his home state. And he's creating longer-lasting dyes for marking trout. But let's get back to that carp problem.

Dr. Harold A. Abramson, Director of Psychiatric Research at South Oaks Psychiatric Hospital in Amityville, N.Y., read of Loeb's work on carp poisons, and he offered LSD as a suggestion. The good doctor started experimenting with the drug himself and supported it as a possible tool to combat schizophrenia. Abramson chose was the Siamese fighting fish for his studies because it was plentiful, cheap, almost as sensitive to LSD as humans. When the drug was released into tank water, the fish surfaced and appeared as if in a stupor. Depending on the dosage, the fish would stay that way for hours - and sometimes days, before resuming normal behavior.

Loeb, who had the whole outdoors to test in, took great interest. With the help of pharmaceutical manufacturer Eli Lilly, Loeb has tested some 40 drug compounds on carp, goldfish, golden and common shiners, blacknose dace, yellow perch, pumpkinseed sun-fish, white suckers, bullheads, brook trout and brown trout. With the exception of the trout and the bullheads—which swim to the surface—the fish pop up to the top of the water, swim backward and often go into a stupor. Oddly, the carp become noticeably lighter in color when dosed. When transferred to a fresh tank, affected fish appear intoxicated up to several hours, then become darker in color and start to respond by sight to people and approaching nets.

"My idea in experimenting with these drugs," says Loeb, "is to find out which ones bring the fish up the best with a modest dose and then become nontoxic the quickest." What, you don't want to trip balls eating your fish sticks? He also discovered that he can tell if test water is still affected by putting it under ultraviolet light - if the water shows blue it is usually toxic contaminated. "What I actually envision is the chemical harvesting of commercial fish," he added. "I can see the day when you back your freezer truck up to the dock and the fish just march right out of the water and fillet themselves."

Whoa, looks like someone was drinking from the wrong water tank.

Makes You Want To Diet

Copyranter (who has been linked here before) finds all the horrible ads, and there's no shortage of unappetizing food pitches from here and around the world. Take the new Blood & Sand Slurpee. It explodes with flavor like a IED in your mouth! Warning may not contain equal portions of blood and sand!


McDonalds's caters to the cannibal in you (sorry, only fries, no finger sandwiches).


It's unclear if this comes from drinking Fanta or getting cozy with the Fanta Girls, but either way that's a nasty inflammation. See a doctor and get that thing lanced.


This is your rugged six pack from eating Subway's sandwiches, as rendered in bread...perhaps. It could also be Jared's colon from the sandwich point of view.


Thailand may be the secret pleasures capital of the world, but I think what they're promoting with their livestock crosses a line. A line drawn with underage boys. From now on, I only want Thai food that's not from Thailand.

More Shocking

That last Bioshock Infinite trailer? Forget it, and wrap your head around this.

4Chan Party

After rooting out animal abusers, the internet's secret police have turned towards a bigger threat - rational thought abusers! The official Tea Party website, teaparty.org, was taken over by 4Chan. The photo section currently links to this URL (which is prolly dead by now), with lots of typical 4Chan awesome awefulness.

God's Breath

Moses might not have parted the Red Sea - according to computer simulations (yawn), but rather, was potentially aided by a strong east wind that blew through the night. Uh, no.

Computer simulations (I'm gonna keep drawing attention to that), which part of a larger study on how winds affect water, showed wind could push water back at a point where a river bent to merge with a coastal lagoon. Yes, that's the grand result of teams at the National Center for Atmospheric Research and the University of Colorado (Boulder).

"The computer simulations match fairly closely with the account in Exodus," said Carl Drews. Wait - you made a computer simulation match up to a biblical account? What's next? Computer simulations of biblical battles (don't answer that, History Channel)? "The parting of the waters can be understood through fluid dynamics. The wind moves the water in a way that's in accordance with physical laws, creating a safe passage with water on two sides and then abruptly allowing the water to rush back in." Yes, douche, we understand how it works, but what proof do you have of it?

Drews and his team pinpointed a possible site south of the Mediterranean Sea for the legendary crossing, and modeled different land formations that could have existed then and perhaps led to the accounts of the sea appearing to part. So get excited for some specifically constructed conditions in order to create the desired computer simulated outcome!

Their model required a U-shaped formation of the Nile River and a shallow lagoon along the shoreline. In that precise, unverified and modeled spot, a wind of 63 miles per hour, blowing steadily for 12 hours, could have pushed back waters 6 feet deep. "This land bridge is 2 to 2.5 miles long and 3 miles wide, and it remains open for 4 hours." I've heard of a perfect storm, but does this mean there's now a perfectly made up storm?

I've also been working on some research, and in my computer simulations, I have pleasured many Hollywood starlets. My results are totally legitimate.

Dot

Dot is the world’s smallest stop motion animated film, created by the makers of the Wallace & Gromit series. Animators used a 3D printer to make 50 different versions of Dot since she was too small to manipulate or bend like other stop-motion animation characters. Each one was hand-painted by artists, and the short was made using a 50x cell phone microscope.

Dorklord

Sci-fi / Fantasy author Terry Pratchett, who was knighted last year, decided he needed a sword. Can you conceive of his nerditude when tell you it was not just any sword, but a meteorite sword. Not geek enough? He smelted ore from his own property and added meteorite bits. Full blown dweeboid - I can't understand why other blogs are raving about this. It's LARPing, and that's never cool.

Assisted by Jake Keen (really, Mr. Keen? How fancy!), an expert on ancient metal-making techniques (this is unverified), Pratchett dug up 175 of iron ore that was just laying around near fief, adding in grounds of his house. Using a makeshift kiln built from clay and hay and fuelled with damp sheep manure (really? does that any anything to the process...other than the pleasure of handling sheep shit?).

For the finishing touch, he added several pieces of meteorites, "thunderbolt iron, you see — highly magical, you’ve got to chuck that stuff in whether you believe in it or not,” he said. Actually, you don't - especially if you don't believe in it. After days of hammering the metal into bars, he took it to a blacksmith, whom he helped to shape it into a blade, which was finished with silverwork. I'm surprised a warlock didn't read Elven runes while a lute played.

The sword's only weakness? Vaginas, which are also crippling to readers of his books.

Unbranded

Hank Willis Thomas took a bunch of print ads featuring African-Americans and removed the ads.

Gykmhana

Where You From, G(oat)?

Yeah...I'm just gonna leave you a little something from the SF New Mexican:

Everyone in the neighborhood seemed to love their evening visits to the corner of Declovina and Rosina streets. And Maria was the type of neighbor who wasn't shy — she'd walk right up no matter who you were.

That is why so many people in the central-Santa Fe community near Cerrillos Road and St. Michael's Drive were shocked to hear three gunshots Sunday evening — two of which struck and killed Maria, a Nigerian dwarf goat who lived with two other goats and several other animals at the home in the 1200 block of Declovina Street.

Yes, slow news day? Slow news lifetime in Santa Fe.

"Total shock and disbelief was all I could think," said one of two women who own the goat. They were inside their home when the drive-by shooting happened. "At this point, so many thoughts go through your mind. Why would someone do this? Are they going to come back? What if we were out in the yard when it happened?"

Maria was about 5 years old, according to her owners, who, along with several neighbors, asked not to be named as long as a motive for the shooting is unclear.

Are they coming back? For what? Your chickens?

Santa Fe police on Wednesday were at the home with a metal detector searching the yard for the third bullet that was fired from a blue-green minivan, similar in style to a Plymouth Voyager. The vehicle pulled up in front of the house heading south on Declovina before firing what police believe was a .25-caliber firearm three times. The van sped away before the two women were able to get any more identification of the vehicle.

What's similar in style to a Voyager...except, an early model Voyager?

"I don't know why anyone would do this," one neighbor said. "These animals here have become almost a sense of community pride. They're a talking point and have really brought the community together. There has never been any problems with the animals living here."

Maria's owners, one of whom is an emergency medical technician, tried for more than an hour and a half Sunday night to care for the dying goat, which was shot once in the abdomen and once through a nasal passage. Neighbors throughout the night came and tried to help, comfort and cry with one another.

Maria died around 7 p.m.

Comfort and cry? Fuck, do these people not have cable TV?

The goat owners say their three goats — Bella and Maria's son, Sonny, both survived — have been so embraced by the community that they've met neighbors they never knew they had. The women also have 12 chickens, four cats, a dog and a duck — most of which were rescue animals.

It's always hardest for the survivors. And I thought I was joking about the chickens.

"We try to do whatever we can to make sure the neighbors are always OK with our animals being here and take good care of them, and for the most part, there have never been any problems in the neighborhood because of the animals," one of the owners said. "In fact, we have neighbors stopping by each night bringing their compost over for the goats to eat. They love it."

One neighbor even rented out the three goats this past summer to eat the weeds in her backyard.

"Just about every night neighbors come by to see the animals, and we've got to know so many people," one of the animal owners said. "This is what has been so amazing about raising these animals is how they've brought a whole community together."

Next time they make a movie about saving the Rec Center, maybe they'll make it about saving a goat instead.

One community member in particular has had a hard time understanding the shooting.

Why, are they retarded, or just not clear on how firearms work?

"My 9-year-old son, he would walk our dog down here to see the goats every morning before school," one neighbor said. "When he heard about what happened, he started worrying that they're going to shoot Lucy (the family's Chihuahua dog) and now he doesn't want to come outside and hasn't walked Lucy before school yet this week. He's scared. We're all a little scared about this."

That's not a dog. What are you trying to turn your son into...a cat lover?

Aside from the obvious animal-cruelty charges the shooter faces, Santa Fe police could also pursue felony charges of shooting at an occupied dwelling and negligent use of a firearm.

"The fact that this was a goat getting killed is bad enough," Santa Fe Police Chief Aric Wheeler said. "But this is also a drive-by shooting of a home in the middle of the city. That's a major concern for us."

Police ask that anyone with information on the shooting call CrimeStoppers at 955-5050.

Yes, please do.

Everybody Is Pissed Off They Don't Offer In-Flight Food Service

Broke Ass Motherfuckers

Poverty - classified as the working-age poor, climbed to it's highest point in over four decades, counting one in seven Americans as impoverished. The other six in seven of us don't know if we should wipe our asses with our money or light our cigars.

The overall poverty rate climbed to 14.3% , or 43.6 million people, according to the Census Bureau. Oh, so that's what they do! In 2008, the poverty rate increased to 13.2%. Also covered in the data was the number of Americans without health coverage -16.7% (50.7 million people); mostly due to the loss of employer-provided health insurance during the recession. Broken down by state, Mississippi had the highest share of poor people (23.1%), followed by Arizona, New Mexico, Arkansas and Georgia. New Hampshire had the lowest share, at 7.8%.

The 2009 poverty level was set at $21,954 for a family of four, based on an official government calculation that includes only cash income, before tax deductions. It excludes capital gains or accumulated wealth, such as home ownership, as well as noncash aid such as food stamps. An additional 7.8 million people would have been counted above the poverty line if food stamps and tax credits were included as income. Unemployment benefits kept 3.3 million people out of poverty last year.

Other census findings that you may feel are interesting:

• Among the working-age population (ages 18 to 64), poverty rose from 11.7% to 12.9%.

• The number of Hispanics in poverty increased from 23.2% to 25.3%; for blacks it increased from 24.7% to 25.8%.

• The number of whites in poverty rose from 8.6% to 9.4%.

• Child poverty rose from 19% to 20.7% (Good for nuthin kids...get a job!)

Old School Shopping

William Hope was able to photograph ghosts back in the 19th century...is he the grandfather of Photoshop, or just a slick cameraman?

Hope and his friends called themselves the Crewe Circle, and took advantage of the lack of knowledge that the average person had regarding photography. People did not understand how a silver plate and a pane of glass could result in a image, and some refused to have their photos taken for fear their souls would be stolen by the camera. So how would they know that a double exposure would make pictures appear to have the dead mingling with the living? Even the learned Sir Arthur Conan Doyle bought into it, yet still defending Hope when exposed as a scam artist.

Ant Death Spiral

The Ant Room talks about how this behavior happens:

This is one of my favorite things about ants -- the ant death spiral. Actually, it's a circular mill, first described in army ants by Schneirla (1944). A circle of army ants, each one following the ant in front, becomes locked into a circular mill. They will continue to circle each other until they all die. How crazy is that? Sometimes they escape, though. Beebe (1921) described a circular mill he witnessed in Guyana. It measured 1200 feet in circumference and had a 2.5 hour circuit time per ant. The mill persisted for two days, "with ever increasing numbers of dead bodies littering the route as exhaustion took its toll, but eventually a few workers straggled from the trail thus breaking the cycle, and the raid marched off into the forest."

Racist Blocks...From Hollywood?

While discussing the art for an OKCupid post on the preferences of different races, guest artist, Chris "Powerpig" McVeigh noted, "Almost all non-white faces in Lego are scowling." Uh-oh?

"The yellow-headed minifigure was a conscious choice," said Lego's brand relations manager. "Because of their ethnically neutral skin color, Lego people can be any people—in any story, at any time." And it's been that way since 1978, when Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen invented the Lego "minifig" man.

In 1999, when Lego produced its first Star Wars-themed set, the kits were based on the original trilogy. Though not a central character, Lando Calrissian was not produced, but customers started reading more into his absence. "They asked 'where's Lando?' and saw the yellow-faced Han Solo...and figured that we had omitted Lando because he couldn't sport a yellow head."

Four years later Lego acted and produced the Lego NBA Series, which was bigger for what it represented than the actual impact of the product. In 2004, Lego followed with another set of Star Wars kits featuring characters from the prequels — including black Jedi councilman Mace Windu. According to Joe Brown, the stern looks on their faces are a reflection of the films and Tinseltown:

Hollywood has a well-defined predilection for white protagonists in big-budget films, while most minority roles go to bad guys. One particularly egregious example: Indiana Jones movies, where Indy's globe-trotting exploits bring him into contact with a veritable Rainbow Coalition of ethnically diverse anti-heroes.

That's not to say there aren't mean white dudes in Jones' adventures—Indy kicks plenty of Nazi ass—but McVeigh, who has more than 54,000 bricks and 541 little plastic dudes, estimates that 85-percent of his scowling minorities come from the 15 Indiana Jones sets, which include sour-looking Arabs, fierce-faced Asians and clearly cranky South Americans.

The Prince of Persia kits—based on a movie that's set somewhere in the Middle East but stars white guys who sound distinctly British—don't help much either. There's almost no diversity, with the only non-white head belonging to Prince Whatever's buddy Seso. For some reason, he's frowning.

Nobody has ever bothered to count how many minority minifigs there are, because nobody really cares, but if you counted the global population of little Lego people as an ethnic group, they'd number close to 4.5 billion.

More Live A Drive-In Movie

The Vintage Mobile Cinema is one of seven "auto-theaters" that were commissioned by the UK's Ministry of Technology in the late 1960s. After more than a decade, one of the fleet was restored and outfitted with an all new theater system:

Onkyo TX-NR807 receiver
Pioneer BDP-320 Blu-ray player
Mordaunt Short Aviano 6 floorstander speakers
Mordaunt Short Alumni 9 subwoofer speaker
Mordaunt Short Alumni 5 center speaker
Mordaunt Short Alumni 3 surround speakers (x4)
Epson EH-TW3500 LCD projector

Patrons can watch the screenings, including lesser known films from it's original run as well as archival footage from the different cities to which the bus travels, on upholstered seats (which date back to the 1930s). The bus holds 22, and it's hoped that independent filmmakers will screen their work onboard.

Take Care Of Yo Hair

Believe it or not, if you interweb hard enough, this video will lead you to Laura Bell Bundy.

Spacefinger

Astronauts with wider hands are more likely to have their fingernails fall off after working or training in space suit gloves, according to a new study. And NASA isn't hiring is manicurists.

Fingernail trauma and other hand injuries (no matter your hand size) are collectively the number one nuisance for spaceworkers. The number two? Not enough sexy crewmembers to make them want to be involved in zero-g procreation studies. The trouble with the gloves, like the entire space suit, is the need to simulate the pressure of Earth's atmosphere in the space environment. The gas-pressurized gloves, by their own nature, make fine motor control a challenge.

A previous study of astronaut injuries sustained during spacewalks found that about 47% reported between 2002 and 2004 were hand related, and more than half of these were due to fingertips and nails making contact with the hard "thimbles" inside the glove fingertips. The sustained pressure on the fingertips caused intense pain and led to the astronauts' nails detaching from their nailbeds. Aside from the loose nails getting snagged inside the glove, moisture inside can lead to secondary bacterial infections in the exposed nailbeds.

In the current glove design, astronauts wear a pressurized inner layer under a thick outer layer that offers protection. On Earth, wearing the gloves would a bit restrictive but not too uncomfortable, but when the glove pressurizes, the flexible fabric surface becomes stiff. The materials tend to be rubberized to make the gloves airtight, but that creates a lot of friction against the skin, and that can cause blisters.

While expensive, one of the solutions would be to make all parts of a glove custom fitted for each astronaut. Another option is robotic amplification inside the glove. There are design trade-offs, but there have been recent experiments with skintight space suits that rely on mechanical counterpressure - that means instead of working in a gas-pressurized bubble, astronauts would effectively get shrink-wrapped in a suit made of flexible material.