Bon Douchi

Jon Bon Jovi is a talentless sissy. But you can add egotistical megalomaniac to that resume.

An entrepreneur with a 3 year old energy drink got a cease and desist letter from an attorney representing Bon Jovi, claiming promotional materials and the can were appropriating...um, the magic and of good name of Jon Bon Jovi?

Marcos Carrington says his coffee-based energy drink is named after his girlfriend, whose name is Jovita, not the 45-year-old rocker, real name John Francis Bongiovi Jr.

In the Jan. 22 letter, objections were made to the product's name "Mijovi" as well as other words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife". Rather than use Carrington's spelling, the letter used the phrases, "It's My Jovi" and "It's My Life." If you haven't figured it out, that's so that they could draw a parallel between phonetic terms and claim they're the same -- the retarded basis that frivolous legal actions like these are founded on.

Through sheer poor reasoning, the similar sounding name, and that one of his most popular (and shitty) songs is entitled "It's My Life", does Bon Jovi really expect to prevail? Carrington said the words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife" are meant to mean "it's my jovial life," and the full phrase on the can says "itsmienergy.itsmijovi.itsmilife."

Carrington told newspapers, "It is unfair because Mijovi has nothing to do with Bon Jovi."

Goddamn right! You start a business and then some douche hair rocker from the 80s tries to stake a claim based on his fading vanity. And who the hell would actually drink something that had anything remotely to do with him? The thought of Bon Jovi would cause instant choking.

Carrington says he's willing to stop using "itsmilife" on cans once an inventory of 3,000 cans is used up. I think a good way to speed that up is by throwing them at Bon Jovi's oversized melon.