An Apartment Complex Runs Through It

Irvine's Wild Rivers water park will close at the end of the summer, to be replaced with an exciting new apartment development! Just what Irvine needs!

The area was rezoned for residential use in 2006, and the Irvine Co. (the developing firm that basically runs the city) chose to exit their lease agreement with the park the following year. In the subsequent years, the water park was allowed to remain open while looking to secure a relocation site, but there was nothing suitable in Orange County.

In addition to the shuttering of the 26-year-old waterpark, nearby Camp James (a children's summer day camp for children) will close as of October 2. Close to 1,700 apartments will eventually go up on the same site, providing families and children countless hours of fun. The waterpark's 1,200 seasonal employees, half of whom are local youths, will be offered jobs if a new location is still able to be found. Otherwise, they're welcome to get their hard hats and make a career change - I hear the construction sector is about to boom!

This is a smart move for the town, which can move one step farther from it's identity as a fun loving and free-spirited city, and finally gain credibility as a serious, office-park style community.

Thrashed And Shut Out

Canada struck back again at their hockey neighbors to the south by regaining another club from Georgia. Canada 2, Atlanta 0.

The Atlanta Thrashers owners sold their team to a group in Winnipeg, marking the return of pro hockey to the city who lost their own Jets team 15 years ago to Phoenix, where the club was renamed the Coyotes. It was 31 years ago that the Atlanta Flames also headed north, settling in Calgary.

True North Sports and Entertainment announced the deal at Winnipeg’s MTS Centre, their 15,000 seat home arena. Winnipeg is Manitoba's largest city, and Manitoba is in Canada. The move comes a few weeks after the city of Glendale voted to subsidize the Phoenix Coyotes for another season while as the equally troubled team tries to secure new ownership. At that point True North turned its attention to the Thrashers.  While the few fans in Atlanta are suffering both Winnipeg residents and players are excited about the move.

"What I like about playing in Canada is the fans hold you accountable. They know when you’ve done something good and they give it to you when you've done something bad. You don’t want to get booed out of your building or have your own fans at the grocery store telling you how bad you played," said Rob Schremp. "I think the guys are real excited about it. It's a chance to play in Canada and there’s a lot of Canadian guys on the team." See, it was like, destiny or something.

The Thrashers made only one playoff appearance in 11 seasons and never won a postseason game. Their ownership was plagued by financial problems, and the team averaged less than 14,000 a game this season, rank 28th out of 30 teams. The deal is reportedly worth $170 million, including a $60 million relocation fee that would be split by the rest of the owners. League owners must give their approval, which should be a formality at their June 21st meeting.

Winnipeg's new team could reclaim the Jets nickname, though a decision has not been made. The Thrashers name was coined by former owner Ted Turner in reference to the state bird of Georgia, and is not part of the deal. Although he was keen on trying to send ex-wife Jane Fonda out of the country...

Bouncing Baby Boy

Didn't Jethro Tull Over Metallica Tip You Off?

A coalition of musicians is demanding the Recording Academy restore more than 30 categories cut from the Grammy Awards they felt were targeting ethnic music and done without the input of its members. I thought that was the whole reason they spun off the Latin Grammys.

A protest was held last Thursday outside an academy board meeting in Beverly Hills, where musicians toted signs, those who brought instruments turned the rally into a spontaneous jam session. Kinda hard to drive the protest point home if it makes you want to dance. It was last month that a decision was made to reduce the Grammy fields from 109 to 78.

Letters were delivered that day to the Recording Academy as well, with the support of musicians like Carlos Santana and Paul Simon (aka the guys who have done world music albums after their mainstream success). But Grammy President Neil Portnow said changes would stay in effect for the 2012 awards, and the effect of the changes would be reviewed before the 2013 awards.

He added, "In this year's awards, there were 34 mainstream categories. Next year, with the changed revision, there will be 20 mainstream categories. That's a significant reduction in mainstream areas. In non-mainstream categories...there were 71. In the upcoming awards, there will be 54." So percentage-wise, the mainstream categories were effected more.

I think it's great that there's a mini-civil ethno-war brewing over these categories, because the Grammys are are just worthless anyway. Best Latin Jazz record versus Best Vocal Performance, Male? Who gives a shit about all the backstroking. Any real musician makes their music for the love of the art, not because a bunch of other musicians who are not even in their genre or familiar with their work cast a vote for them. Nobody gets into music because they're looking to get a Grammy, and the complaint is just crushed egos. They can give out a mountain of awards to Lady Antebellum and Usher and it still won't convince me they're "best anything...other than marketed.

Career Screwicide

Fuck stars Porn performers in California could be required to use condoms in their sex scenes if a proposal from state workplace safety officials becomes part of state code. Sure, and why not ask chefs to cook without utensils...

Cal/OSHA officials have drafted a 17-page proposal containing graphic details of bodily fluids, waste matter and "other materials" that porn actors may encounter that can cause infection. Seventeen pages of nasty things that come out of a person? Sounds more like Penthouse Forum letter. A seven-member body will review the proposal after it is discussed at a public meeting next week.

The draft says porn producers must provide and require "use of condoms or other barrier protection to prevent genital and oral contact with the blood or (any other bodily fluids) of another person." It also specifies that condoms can't be reused, cannot be expired, or used with multiple partners. I get the multiple partners thing, but who the hell is putting a rubber back on after action instead of putting on a fresh one? They also say performers wouldn't be allowed to share razors under the rules (sorry, no more sexy shaving videos), and sex toys would have to be kept clean (sorry, no more filthy dildo videos).

These buzzkills would force producers to ensure that body areas contaminated with bodily fluids are cleaned between sexual acts with the same or different partners. Hey, seeing a sexy French maid outfit is one thing - but who wants to see them actually cleaning? Aside from providing medical services for all employees who have been "exposed to possibly infectious materials", showers would need to be provided to performers, and rules on how to handle laundry contaminated with human fluids would be established.

The proposed change in rules comes in response to a complaint filed in 2009 by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, calling on the state to require condoms in porn. They claim that actors were in unsafe situations and they glamorized risky sex for audiences. What, there's never been a three-way not captured on film? And how did Wilt Chamberlain nail thousands of women without being in the adult industry? Were college girls wild only because of a couple of necklace beads? Let's let adults be adults and make their own adult decisions.

Chocolate Slut

For lovers of apple juice...

Shake, Rattle, And Jail

There's a few jobs that, if done wrong, can lead to the death of others: pilot, surgeon, policeman, nuclear plant safety manager. Oh, and let's add seismologist to that list.

In Italy, where poor decisions are not a surprise (see: Benedict, Pope) and misleading logic prevails (see: WWII / Mussolini), six seismologists and a government official are being charged with manslaughter case. Like you, I was completely unaware there were any places that had laws on the books making it a crime if you didn't alert the public ahead of time of the risk of an earthquake - it's kinda unknowable. The 2009 L'Aquila earthquake killed close to around 300 people.

The witch hunt came after those seismologists, all members of a committee tasked with determining the risk of an earthquake in the area of, "should've seen it coming", due to a swarm of earthquakes that occurred days before the big one struck. Of course, everywhere around the world places get swarms of earthquakes without a big shaker afterwards, with nothing to suggest a bigger one. Try telling that to the same country who demonized Galileo Galilei.

Others in the scientific community are shocked and offended that their colleagues are essentially being railroaded for not being psychic. "One problem is we don't know how much stress it takes to break a fault," said John Vidale, a Washington State seismologist. "Second we still don't know how much stress is down there. All we can do is measure how the ground is deforming. Not knowing either of these factors makes it pretty tough to figure out when stresses will get to the point of a rupture."

In order to attempt measurements of the actual stresses, researchers would need to drill miles beneath the surface (which is pretty difficult - this isn't The Core). They'd only be able to drill a couple places to put sensors along the fault, but the L'Aquila fault system is considered complex, with several so-called faults moving mostly vertically, instead of the horizontal strike-slip faults (like California's San Andreas), so those methods may not yield the intended results.

Clearly, the Italians don't full grasp the scope of science, or why there's "Act Of God" clauses in contracts, but maybe something good can come out of criminal charges for those who fail to be clairvoyant guess correctly. I'm all for the punishment of weathermen who couldn't call the afternoon's climate change to save their freedom, or locking up every designer who's stylistic abortions are too ugly to wear beyond the runway.

This Telescope, It Is Very Large

The Kush

The odd worlds of Vladimir Kush.

Chinese Farmer's Market Prison

How's this for a prison sentence - break rocks and dig trenches and kill night elves.

By day, inmates at the Jixi labor camp in China would do a surreal mix of backbreaking physical work and then play hours of online video games. Prison bosses made close to 300 prisoners play games in 12-hour shifts, and that was after a day of mining. Or carving chopsticks and toothpicks out of planks of wood. Or assembling car seat covers to be exported to Korea and Japan. And for some political prisoners, they also had to memorize communist literature.

To make sure they were making their virtual quotas, prisoners who fell behind had real punishment. "They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things," one ex-convict said.

Known as "gold farming", the practice of building up online credits through basic tasks in games such as World of Warcraft, is a highly lucrative trade, as gamers all over the world are willing to pay real money for those credits. The trading of virtual currencies has become rampant in China, and has become more difficult to regulate. The China Internet Center estimates nearly $1.2 billion in virtual currencies were traded in China in 2008.

It is estimated that 80% of all gold farmers are in China. The country is home to the largest internet population in the world, and it is estimated there are more than 100,000 full-time gold farmers.

Sounds rough, but since the article I read had no mention of shower rapes, gang wars, or rioting, Chinese prison still sounds better than San Quentin.

Talking At "The Harvard Of Harvard"

CEO Gaga?

If you're a savvy businessperson like me, you like your information and advice coming out of Germany. And grossly incorrect.

The article "Old CEOs Can Learn A Few New Tricks From Lady Gaga", painfully tries to convince us that the singer can "school corporations in strategic innovation", based on the observations of a German business researcher.

Martin Kupp, a professor (hopefully not tenured) at the European School of Management and Technology (Berlin) expects her album "Born This Way" to end up at the top of the music charts and generate strong sales and land atop the music charts, regardless of critical reception. Wow, bold prediction! His obvious premise is based on how consumers relate to her brand, but that's where any semblance of logic ends.

"Lady Gaga blurs the industry boundaries and it's not really clear if she's a musician, artist or fashion designer," said Kupp. Actually, it's absolutely clear - how the hell are you a professor and not be able to differentiate? She's a musician. Just like Britany Spears, Cher, and Jessica Simpson. And like them, she is marketing her brand, because being a popular pop singer is a licensing licence to print money. They're not making their fragrances or clothing - they just have final approval before their name goes on it. Of course that would go over the head of a guy who recently wrote a book on business lessons from artists like Madonna (aka, the original Lady Gaga) and Renaissance painter Titian.

"I think there may be people out there who associate her much more with fashion or with other sorts of entertainment than music," Krupp added. Think whatever you want, asshole, and be wrong while you're at it. Lady Gaga exists as a musician first and foremost, and the rest is just using her Q to bring attention to whatever she puts her weight behind. This is Branding 101, and something that's been going on since the first days of marketing and business.

So why does Kupp and colleagues think she's the new paradigm? They made a recent case study and point to the singer's "social media strategy" as a way for businesses "to learn new methods to shake up an established industry". Wait, using social media to contact your fans? Did she invent this technique? Nope. Can we at least pretend that using the latest technological / communication advertising trend is original? Fine - but only so we can continue this critique, because harnessing new media is as old as any company putting their website address on everything. I mean, as old as companies having websites on the internet. I mean, as old as product placement and brand management in film and television. I mean, as old as cable television advertising for companies. I mean, as old as corporate sponsorship of radio and TV programs. I mean, as old as billboards. I mean, as old as companies using print advertising in newspapers.

So, by using Facebook and Twitter, Lady Gaga has "developed" fans through virtual interaction and not by "pushing traditional marketing principles of promotion, product and price onto consumers", says Kupp. Sorry, that's totaly inaccurate. As a musical artist, all the fan club nonsense with autographed photos and special items goes back to the days of Elvis - and that's still promotion, and via virtual interaction. And the product, be it her albums or concerts or adult diapers is the only reason to reach out to the fan, lest you forget entertainment is a business too. He's also completely wrong about price as a factor - what other reason would demand for her new album disrupt Amazon.com servers if it wasn't a tied into a promotion for their cloud music service offering a special 99 cent price?

"Social media is not a one-way communication and I think Lady Gaga understands that," he adds. "It's more about emotions, engagement and interactivity, so she's very advanced." By the way, take a moment and learn about Advanced Genius Theory...Gaga, she's not advanced at all, and certainly no genius. And she's only the top of the Twit-heap by a less then impressive margin. Her 8,627,513 Twitter followers came over 36 months when she set up her account. For comparison, Justin Beiber racked up 7,942,954 in only 24 months. And Kim Kardashian, Ellen DeGeneres, Katy Perry, and Ashton Kutcher each have roughly 6.5 - 7 million followers too. Kupp needs to understand that Gaga didn't reinvent the wheel, let alone improve it.

He can argue that her use of social media was "to create much more intimacy than what you created with traditional marketing instruments", but that's ridiculous to say in the face of her massive beachhead of promotion for the album. Not only has Lady Gaga recently graces most major magazine covers (from Rolling Stone to Vogue), but she's appeared on every high profile show, from Oprah Winfrey to American Idol to Saturday Night Live, and debuted her own HBO concert special. Beyond the media blitz, non-traditional outlets, she's fucking everywhere:

• Starbucks is selling her album and launching a "digital scavenger hunt" for Gaga-inspired goods.

• Google Chrome had a commercial with Gaga featuring a track from the album.

• Internet clothing outlet Gilt Groupe is partnering to offer Gaga-inspired clothing and purchase of VIP performances.

• Best Buy is giving away the album free to anyone who purchases a mobile phone and signs up for a service contract.

• Zynga, creator of the popular online game FarmVille, has created GagaVille, which allows fans access to exclusive Gaga songs.

Yeah, that feels intimate.

Kupp believes that Lady Gaga's business strategy has been able to breathe life into an industry that has struggled to adapt its business model, but that's the same song and dance we've not only heard before about internet downloads and piracy and the different entertainment media facets, but also read before here again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.  Just picture my head banging against the wall rather than my fingers banging out words on the keyboard every time a moron like Kupp tries to spin that bullshit.

It's insulting to have people who are so clearly unaware of the things they're talking about act in any manner of authority on the subject. God bless Gaga for reinventing Madonna's shtick for a new generation and being successful at it, but comparing the stunts and direction of an entertainer to the methods of titans of business is pure ineptitude. Like Rupert Murdoch, Warren Buffet, Carlos Slim or Bill Gates needs to wear a meat dress or come out of an egg to promote their business. And you're even more sorely mistaken if you can't see the army of choreographers, producers, dancers, stylists, make-up artists, costumers, and designers that got into creating "Lady Gaga - the brand image", let alone the nameless, faceless lawyers, business managers, accountants, marketing execs, advertising personnel and other non-creative types that have to put the Gaga brand in play.

And to think that the days of Germans getting information all backwards and being misled were a thing of the past...

Comeuppance For Lax Parenting

How do you make up for poor parenting? Go for the fame and money!

Yesterday, the family of a toddler who died after plunging over 30 feet from a third level luxury box at Staples Center filed suit against the owners of the venue. Vultures Lawyers for the family of Lucas Tang allege that the barrier in front of the boxes was only 2 feet high and that ownership provided "no warnings of the dangerous condition, either by signs, oral statements by employees, or otherwise." Really? We need a warning that going over a barrier is dangerous? If that condition isn't visible to someone, how the hell are they going to see a sign warning them of the obvious?

They said the dangerous condition was "allowed to persist because the arena would make more money if fans had an unobstructed view of the game". Again, really? have they even seen how they're set up? Tell me how clear plexiglass that isn't even 30" high is obstructive. I watch hockey there more than 40 times a year behind eight foot tall sheets of the stuff with no issues. As you can see in the picture, each box has tiers of seats with safety glass embedded in concrete walls, which meet the city's building codes requiring guardrails to be at least 26 inches high in front of seats.

Moments before the fall, the Tang family was taking pictures in front of the plexiglass barrier that protects fans from the steep drop. And as the family was reviewing pictures on their digital camera, Lucas made his way over the barrier and plummeted nearly 30 feet, landing on a row of empty seats.  So, to recap, a kid fell over the legally installed and functional guard barriers and died while his family was not observing him. Are we done with this frivolous lawsuit? Can we move on to famewhoring?

Rogelio Baena, who up until last week thought he was the father of Mildred Baena's love child with Arnold Schwarzenegger, crawled out from under his rock to sun himself in the spotlight of Entertainment Tonight. And while it may be an exclusive, he'll surely be popping up on other media.

Baena said he will always regard the boy as his own, and would like to tell his son, "I am your father. That's all.". When asked how he felt once he heard the news that the Sperminator beat him to the egg, he said, "Angry! Very, very angry! Arnold Schwarzenegger, for me, was my hero. Now, I feel betrayed."

Yes, let's feel bad for papa, who split with his Baena two months after she gave birth to the boy. Very responsible of him! And the last time he spoke to his "son" was last year. Oh, and he does not know where the kid and his mom are now. Some fucking father figure this dirtbag has been. I see my dental hygienist more often than he saw that kid, and I'll bet anything she and I have a tighter bond than they do. This guy has nothing say about it, and the media are once again irresponsibly pouring fuel on a fire just to keep it burning.

I don't hate bastard children or dead ones, just the parents and families of them who try to prosper from their own poor decisions and behavior.

True Rapture

(here's background on the film , plus a clip of the sequel below)

Did I Say The End Of The World?

So, how do you top a Rapture that never comes? Plan another one!

Harold Camping, the California preacher who prophesied the end of the world, only to see it not happen as scheduled last weekend, tried to save face by revising his end of the world date to October 21 of this year.  Bold words from a guy who himself may not make it until then.

Predicting that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven last Saturday before a series of catastrophe struck the planet, apologized for not having the dates "worked out as accurately as I could have."  Maybe he ought to also check his count of Christians - 200 million sounds like far too many religious fanatics.  This isn't Islam! (zing!)

Camping acknowledged was a very difficult weekend, but that was mostly due to a lack of prune juice and itchy feet, which he had difficulty reaching, and not just his stone cold wrongness.  We'll give him a mulligan for blowing it in 1994 with his first attempt at salvation, but this time, you get no redemption.  You see, May 21 was really a "spiritual" Judgment Day, but the main even comes before Halloween, so don't bother putting together a costume.

Having previously spent millions of dollars - some of it from donations made by followers, on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message, this time around, they're not hyping the the next letdown.  Since God's judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, Camping says there's no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play Christian music and programs until the final end. Why?  You're telling me God's taking a little break now that he saved all those folks and needs until October before he can shoot them up heaven's chimney on his electric chariot?

I actually hope this asshole lives long enough to see his bullshit called again.

25K Macs

For nearly forty years, Don Gorske has been eating Big Macs a stomach churning pace. Today, he reached a new milestone -- finishing his 25,000th burger. In related news, he had his 25,000th bout of diarrhea.

"I plan on eating Big Macs until I die," the Wisconsin man said, not realizing how telling his words were. "I have no intentions of changing. It's my favorite food. Nothing has changed in 39 years. I look forward to it every day."

Gorske is 59, and claims good health and a low cholesterol level - he had a clean bill of health two months ago during his last physical, despite his minimal exercise. He averages two Big Macs a day, each with 540 calories and 29 grams of fat. It is the same amount of fat in large cheese pizza, and would take nine miles of walking to work off the calories.  His genetics are his saving grace, because anybody else would be dead after 2,500...

Super Real Brothers

Kodak Taser

The always awesome Instructibles takes you from parts to 300+ volts of fun is six easy steps!

All you need make this little baby is a used disposable camera (and kind will do), some wires, and a little electrical tape. A flat-head screw driver and something to strip the wires with, and you'll have your friends jumping with excitement!

PK United

"I’ve got an indoor soccer team in Division 11 (1 being best, 11 being worst… obviously) here in Dallas Texas and I would like to submit our team jerseys which I designed and made. The patches are embroidered and the lettering is authentic jersey vinyl on Adidas Predator blanks. While we only finished 3rd in our division, I like to think we looked good doing it. The team name is Portman Kunis United (aka The Scissors). It’s a tribute to Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in the movie Black Swan, for their….. amazing acting. Notice the handcrafted numbering, custom with a swan on each number."

- team captain Mike Miller

The Kind Of DVD On Sale For $3.99

The Food Chain

UK artist Jamie McCartney spent five years making made casts of women aged 18 to 76, and presented their intimate parts in 30 foot long sculpture called The Great Wall Of Vagina. If you're at the Brighton Festival Fringe in May you can go face to face with this vagstrosity.

Prepare For 18 Years Of Anger From Your Kids

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have both revealed the names for their twins, and that they're typical celebrity idiots - the names of their newborn boy and girl are Moroccan and Monroe.

Mr. and Mrs. Ridiculous chose to name their son Moroccan Scott Cannon after the Moroccan-inspired decor of the top tier of Carey's New York City apartment. The Moroccan Room is also where Cannon proposed. Because that sapped all their creativity, they ended up with Scott as the middle name since it's Cannon's middle name (as well as his grandmother's maiden name where that likely came from).  Their daughter Monroe Cannon gets her moniker from Marilyn Monroe, who has "inspired" Carey. How, no one can say. Unlike her brother, Monroe doesn't have a middle name because Carey doesn't have one either.

Hopefully, they will be sending the kids to some ultra-exclusive private school forever, because they are going to get picked on the minute they walk in the door, and mom and dad are going to have to answer for a lot of beating they'll suffer.

Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Strange

" [Stanley] explains “adult baby” role playing as a way of blowing off steam from a stressful day of work. Except that he doesn’t have a job. Neither does Sandra. They both receive Social Security disability benefits for unspecified reasons and use their free time to run an adult baby internet support group and building custom-made baby furniture that can support Stanley’s weight."

Less Is More

Minimal Movie Posters not only has some great designs, but many of them are available for purchse.

Nazicide In Riverside

The local papers say police are trying to make sense of the shooting death of a well-known white-supremacist leader, allegedly at the hands of his young son. But I'd say it's pretty clear - dad was a asshole racist, and that's reason enough to kill him.

Jeff Russell Hall (32) was Southwestern regional director of the Detroit-based National Socialist Movement when he wasn't a plumber in Riverside. Police found the badly injured Hall lying on a couch, who also died at the scene. After interviewing Hall's wife and five (!) children, police booked his ten-year-old son.

Aside from ruining the neighborhood with his Halloween parties, where he flew a swastika flag and guests wore KKK hoods, Hall recently failed to win a seat on his local water board. A rifle and handgun were recovered from the home, and it appeared Hall died of a single gunshot wound to the chest.

As for motive, looking into court records note an ugly divorce with ex-wife, Leticia Neal, where each accused the other of child abuse. Child Protective Services once removed the children from their mother's care and also reported her residence had no electricity or gas, maggots crawling on dishes, and curdled milk was in the babies' bottles. Yeah, sounds like a great family - a totally uninvolved mother and a Nazi father.

I've Got Battles In My Life

Great show yesterday at the Echoplex with Battles, even though it was a school night and the show started way later than it should have. As they are now a trio, they only played tunes from their new album, and though they had a fair amount of loops and trigger to pull it off, John Stanier is a monster on the drums and a pleasure to watch live. Plus, if it's good enough for Eric Wareheim (who stood in front of Rybot and I), then you should dig it too. Our buddy Darshun has a boot of the show he took himself if this clip is not enough to get you in the Battles mood.

Fifth Time's The Charm

Sometimes, when you suck at something, you should just stop.

Actor Lorenzo Lamas (53) wed girlfriend Shawna Craig (24) at the Casa Dorada Resort in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where three decade age differences are a blessing! I'm sure her parents were proud.

Lamas proposed to Craig over dinner at Mr. Chow's in Beverly Hills in February after only three months of dating, which is how every girl hopes she'll have the question popped. Craig, who is a model, is just one year younger than Lamas' oldest daughter Shayne Lamas, one of six in Lorenzo's brood. Shayne is also married and pregnant with her first child, because there's no time to waste if you're a Lamas for squeezing out kids and running through nuptials.

Lorenzo was most recently married to former playmate and living sex doll current plastic surgery disaster Shauna Sand.

And if you're wondering how Lamas can afford a fleet of ex-wives and children, it's his non-stop acting. Sure he may have been on television with Falcon Crest and Renegade, but he's averaged two films a year for the past twenty years. Maybe you've seen or heard of some of these gems:

• the amazing trilogy of Snake Eater, Snake Eater II: The Drug Buster, and Snake Eater III: His Law

• a couple of films that sound so macho they're dangerously close to gay porn - Gladiator Cop, Midnight Man, Body Rock, and Rapid Exchange

• movies that clearly were made only to air on the Sci-Fi channel - Raptor Island, Succubus: Hell Bent, Dark Waters, and Sci-Fighter

• internationally bad films like Latin Dragon, Mexican Gold, and Chinaman's Chance

• and a few that just sound horrible by the title - The Circuit 2: The Final Punch, Motocross Kids, and CIA II: Target Alexa

And he's the only actor to have worked with Phyllis Diller and Gary Busey in the same film (not counting Cody the Chimp)!

Bumwalk Empire

If you're down on your luck in the nation's second-largest gambling market, you may have won...a free ticket out of town!

Reducing Atlantic City's 500 person homeless population is a key element of a new effort to help the town's struggling casino business rebound after nearly five years of decreases in  revenue and jobs. Atlantic City has lost nearly a third of its business since 2006, as Philadelphia, New York and Delaware have tried to compete more directly with new Jersey's casinos.  Close to $100,000 will go to a local homeless shelter in order to purchase bus or plane tickets back home for any homeless person who wants to leave town.  The Get The Fuck Out Of Town You Homeless Piece Of Shit Travelers Assistance Program has been around for years, but would greatly expand with the additional funding.  Those not "assisted" buy the program could be met with increased sweeps of the Boardwalk to move homeless squatters along.

More than half the city's homeless live at the Atlantic City Rescue Mission, while an additional 100 or so are on the streets or live under the Boardwalk.  Close to 100 live in other places like abandoned buildings.  The previous amount allocated to throwing the homeless out was $25,000 to $40,000 a year, which typically helped a few hundred people a year get back home. Now more than doubled by the casino authority, could it be that they could eliminate their homeless problem?

The program is strictly voluntary; no homeless person who wants to stay put will be forced to leave. And before anyone leaves, the ACRM will make sure there is someone back home who is willing to take them in.  Las Vegas runs two similar programs, also aimed at getting the homeless away from the casino zones and back to where they came from.  Has it helped their business?  Unlikely, but the logic by the state's casino authority is that less homeless will equal more casino revenue, and as long as they're the one's giving the money, they only need to justify that to themselves.  Even a local soup kitchen cook doesn't draw the parallel between the casino business and the homeless: "There are homeless in every city. You can't just put them on a bus, send them back home and forget about it. That's just moving people around, not solving the problem."  Well, the casinos want to bet you're wrong...

Mission Accomplished (Really This Time)

(DXM nailed it last night)