Chinese Farmer's Market Prison

How's this for a prison sentence - break rocks and dig trenches and kill night elves.

By day, inmates at the Jixi labor camp in China would do a surreal mix of backbreaking physical work and then play hours of online video games. Prison bosses made close to 300 prisoners play games in 12-hour shifts, and that was after a day of mining. Or carving chopsticks and toothpicks out of planks of wood. Or assembling car seat covers to be exported to Korea and Japan. And for some political prisoners, they also had to memorize communist literature.

To make sure they were making their virtual quotas, prisoners who fell behind had real punishment. "They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things," one ex-convict said.

Known as "gold farming", the practice of building up online credits through basic tasks in games such as World of Warcraft, is a highly lucrative trade, as gamers all over the world are willing to pay real money for those credits. The trading of virtual currencies has become rampant in China, and has become more difficult to regulate. The China Internet Center estimates nearly $1.2 billion in virtual currencies were traded in China in 2008.

It is estimated that 80% of all gold farmers are in China. The country is home to the largest internet population in the world, and it is estimated there are more than 100,000 full-time gold farmers.

Sounds rough, but since the article I read had no mention of shower rapes, gang wars, or rioting, Chinese prison still sounds better than San Quentin.

Super Jam

Who's kicking out the biggest jams these days? Phish? The Dead? Dave Matthews Band? Sorry, but it's north China, with a massive traffic jam that has reached it's 10th day, and stretches for almost 60 miles. Looks like food and medicine isn't the only thing you've managed to toxify.

A combination of road construction and a spike in delivery vehicles for has created bumper-to-bumper gridlock, with cars once moving slightly more than a half-mile a day. Some drivers are reported to have been stuck in the jam for five days, and the construction efforts will not be done for another month, nearly guaranteeing no quick end in sight.

The traffic jam started on a stretch of the highway that is frequently congested, due to large coalfields were discovered in Inner Mongolia. The traffic volume has increased 40% every year since the discovery. Drivers stuck in the sea of cars are being serviced by local villagers selling instant noodles, boxed lunches and snacks, weaving between the parked vehicles on bicycles. And they're making quite a profit - a bottle of water that normally costs 1 yuan (15 cents) was selling for 10 yuan ($1.50), while the price of a 3 yuan (45 cent) cup of instant noodles had more than tripled.

Authorities were trying to speed up traffic by allowing more trucks to enter Beijing and asked trucking companies to suspend operations and advised drivers to take alternate routes. While a delay of this magnitude is uncommon, improving the infrastructure of the country is long overdue and will take years if not decades to connect countryside with cityscape. Welcome to modern times, China!

Health And Harm Within Your Guts

People who drink at least two sugary sodas a week have an increased risk of developing cancer of the pancreas, and researchers suspect the culprit is sugar, a Chinese study shows.

Analyses of data collected on 60,524 Singapore Chinese adults showed that people who drank two or more sugar-sweetened soft drinks a week were at greater risk of developing pancreatic cancer compared with individuals who did not. And don't expect that the subjects volunteered either - it is China. No link was found between drinking juice and pancreatic cancer, one of the most rapidly fatal cancers in adults (less than 5% of patients surviving five years or more after being diagnosed). A typical serving of soda is 20 ounces and contains 65 grams of sugar. By comparison, a typical serving of orange juice is eight ounces and contains 21 grams of sugar.

The study was the first to look at the role fizzy drinks and juice play in the development of pancreatic cancer in Asians, whose diet and lifestyle are becoming more and more Western, the study says. Previous studies had looked at Europeans and Americans. Participants in the study who consumed two or more sodas per week tended to be younger men who smoke, drink alcohol, eat higher-calorie diets and are less physically active. They also ate more red meat.

The findings of the study were adjusted for other dietary factors which have been linked with pancreatic cancer. "But the adjustments did not change the link between soda and the risk of pancreas cancer," according to one of the authors of the study. "We suspect sugar is the culprit, but we cannot prove it from this study," adding that the researchers only looked at carbonated sugar-sweetened beverages, not sports drinks or diet soft drinks.

Hmmm, they didn't accomplish much. First the non-story about "hacking", now this not-so-telling study about people with already suspect health habits having some soda. What next..drinking beer can be good for your health? Wait, really?

A new analysis of 100 commercial beers shows the beverage is a significant source of dietary silicon, a key ingredient for bone health. Past research has suggested beer is chock full of silicon, but little was known about how silicon levels varied with the type of beer and malting process used until the current study. The silicon content of the beers ranged from 6.4 mg/L to 56.5 mg/L, with an average of 30 mg/L. Two beers are the equivalent of just under a half liter, so a person could get 30 mg of the nutrient from two beers. And while there is no official recommendation for daily silicon uptake, individuals in the U.S. consume between 20 and 50 mg of silicon each day - which other studies show may be, overall, bad for health.

The silicon levels of beer types, on average:

Indian Pale Ale (IPA): 41.2 mg/L
Ales: 32.8 mg/L
Pale Ale: 36.5 mg/L
Sorghum: 27.3 mg/L
Lagers: 23.7 mg/L
Wheat: 18.9 mg/L
Light lagers: 17.2 mg/L
Non Alcoholic: 16.3 mg/L

Their research showed the malting process didn't affect barley's silicon content, which is mostly in the grain's husk. However, pale-colored malts had more silicon than the darker products, such as the chocolate, roasted barley and black malt, which all have substantial roasting. The scientists aren't sure why these darker malts have less silicon than other malts. Hops were the stars of the beer ingredients, showing as much as four times more silicon than was found in malt. The downside: Hops make up a much smaller portion of beer compared with grain. Some beers, such as IPAs are hoppier, while wheat beers tend to have fewer hops than other brews, the researchers say.

The type of silicon in beer, called orthosilicic acid, has a 50% bioavailability, meaning that much is available for use in the body. Some foods, like bananas are rich in silicon but only 5% is bioavailable. This soluble form of silica found in beer could be important for the growth and development of bone and connective tissue, according to the National Institutes of Health. Past research has suggested that moderate beer consumption may help fight osteoporosis, a disease characterized by low bone mass and deterioration of bone tissue. Another past study involving nearly 1,700 women showed participants who were light to moderate beer drinkers had much better bone density than non-drinkers. And also more fun at parties. The researchers suggested the beer's plant hormones, not the alcohol, could be responsible for the bone boost. But, hey, whatever makes talking to girls in social situations easier...

'Twas The Weekend Before Christmas

All I want to know is what happened to 2009? Damn that went fast. And I totally wasn't taking any drugs that would have left gaping holes in my memory either.

Best of the week: A Christmas Story!

You can watch the news clip here, but it's way more awesome to read the tale of Hayden Wright.

April Wright is 21 and is going through a divorce, and she's not sure how her 4-year-old managed to get out of the house, open a beer, and steal the neighbors presents from under their tree. Nope, it's not Florida...it's Tennessee!

Hayden Wright, was found around 1:45 am Tuesday, wandering the streets of his neighborhood. The police report says the child had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption. April Wright said her "biggest concern was him being out there, getting kidnapped, getting run over, the alcohol, having to have his stomach pumped." Clearly, being a pregnant 17 year old and divorced by the drinking age was not a concern anymore.

Wright says she woke up that night at 1:45 am and panicked when she found Hayden was gone. She says she put safety devices on all the doors so her kids couldn't get out, but Hayden was able to break the safety device off the doorknob and get outside. I don't know what shitshack she lives in, but there are these things called locks - not "doorknob safety devices", and they tend to keep kids out - or in, if you use them right. Once out, Wright says her four year old followed his father's footsteps and was found on Blue Spruce Road, drinking. I wish I could make my father that proud.

"He runs away trying to find his father," she said. "He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that's where his daddy is." You raised a hell of a kid, lady, and now you can move on to other things, like killing yourself before you breed again - which is a near certainty for you.

The Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report says Hayden rang the doorbell a few houses down and the neighbor answered, finding the child holding a partially consumeed 12-ounce beer. Wright said, "He got it out of my father's cooler (what stereotype is untouched in this story?)in the back and how he got it open I don't understand because it was one of those tab beers." You think that when you're piss drunk, you're capable of doing anything more difficult than a 4-year-old? There's your answer.

But it doesn't stop there. The report said Hayden then snuck into a neighbor's house through an unlocked front door, and stole five wrapped Christmas gifts. One was a girl's brown dress which Hayden was wearing when police found him. What the fuck? Thanks, shitty neighbor...just send my kid on his way when he rings the doorbell in the middle of the night and is carrying a beer.

"Going to the neighbor's house and taking their presents, very embarrassing," said April.

She admits she was not just embarrassed, but scared, and rushed to the hospital that night with Hayden. She said she tries to be a good mother and loves her son, but now feels like a failure. She's right! Wright did meet with child protective services today who told her she will get to keep custody of Hayden. Expect the kid dead within a year, or a teen pregnancy / abused girlfriend tale when the kid hits 16.

I didn’t get into drinking, burglary and cross-dressing until I was a freshman in college. Ask JCG - he'll confirm all of it (and was an accomplice).

Also: The estimated time when whites will no longer make up the majority of Americans has been pushed back eight years — to 2050 — because the recession and stricter immigration policies have slowed the flow of foreigners into the U.S. Also, those Duggars plopped out a 19th kid and are starting to be grandparents.

This changes last year's prediction that white children would become a minority in 2023 and the overall white population would follow in 2042, so if you want your children to learn English in schools, best have them soon. The 2050 estimate is one of four projections released that is based on rates for births and deaths and a scenario in which immigration continues its more recent, slower pace of adding nearly 1 million new foreigners each year. Demographers said that scenario offers the best look for now at the future demographic makeup based on current conditions, rather than other models which assume higher rates of immigration.

The United States has 308 million people today; two-thirds are non-Hispanic whites. Is there such as thing has a Hispanic white? Other than Ned "Carlos Mencia" Holness? The total population should climb to 399 million by 2050, under the new projection, with whites making up 49.9% of the population. Blacks will make up 12.2%, virtually unchanged from today (so much fro progress, eh). Hispanics, currently 15% of the population, will rise to 28 percent in 2050. I know it's not something in the water, because you can't drink the water...so stop fucking! Asians are expected to increase from 4.4% of the population to 6%.

The population 85 and older is projected to more than triple by 2050, to 18.6 million. The actual shift in demographics will be influenced by a host of factors that can't be accurately forecast — the pace of the economic recovery, cultural changes, war with Skynet, natural disasters, as well as an overhaul of immigration law, which may be debated in Congress as early as next year. As a result, the Census Bureau said the projections should be used mostly as a guide.

Under a purely theoretical (read: Republican prayers) "zero immigration" scenario in which the U.S. effectively does not take in any immigrants, whites would remain the majority in 2050, making up a solid 58% of the U.S. population. In such a case, the share of Hispanics would increase to 21%. Under a "zero immigration" model, the 65 and older population also grows substantially faster, comprising nearly 1 in 4 Americans.

Plus: The Chinese police captain who named his subordinate a "martyr" after he died from a drinking binge has been suspended. Also to be recinded, the Medal Of Valor for the officer who unclogged the toilet at the station house.

Traffic officer Chen Lusheng (lush...that's rich) was off-duty when he attended a banquet with officials in late October. After repeated toasts, he vomited and passed out on a couch, where he suffocated. At college, he'd be called a freshman.

His captain, Xie Feiyong, attempted to declare Chen a martyr, in order to get higher compensation for his family and possibly to avert any investigation into his death. He was suspended from duty on Tuesday. Shenzhen police told local media the policeman was a victim of China's infamous Chinese business banquet ganbei or "bottoms up" culture, where diners attempt to out-drink each other to gain concessions. They did not explain why Chen was attending the banquet in the first place.

Forced drinking is so widespread that workplace injuries regulations in the southwestern city of Chongqing were recently amended to classify deaths caused by drinking as "workplace accidents" bosses send staff out drinking for business. Man, workers comp fees must be through the roof! Xie argued that Chen died in a work-related incident and that there was nothing wrong in wanting to leave behind a glorious legacy for his colleague. And this is the same country that has poisonous food and toxic medicine (referenced so many times on this site you can find your own damn links)

The application for the posthumous honor was denied by the District Brigade, on grounds that Chen died neither in the line of duty nor during work hours. That didn't stop Chen's family from demanding $703,200 in compensation because their son was a little bitch who couldn't hold his liquor.

And: A Costco in Utah pulled tomatoes off the shelves during a visit by Sarah Palin, after the Alaska Governor was pelted with the fruit on a stop at the Mall of America. Surely there's got to be something else in that giant warehouse we can throw at her?

Shoppers at the Salt Lake City Costco to do some shopping were mostly unaware that Palin was scheduled to be there for a book signing, and a store said the tomatoes were taken off the shelves for a few hours. Management at the Costco was determined it wouldn't happen there. You may have won this round Costco, but you can't keep people from bringing their own vegetables. Or hurling poo like a monkey.

Best picture of the week:

Hi there Nicole Cocaineman

Bonus picture:

totally impractical and posed, but hilarious

Best bonus links:
• Magna: Dreamed Or Dreamt - A sweet little performance shot in the aftermath of the Krampus-eselsraub
• CA Man Convicted Of Throwing Wife Off Cliff - It was the 13 day itch.
• VT Court Eyes Value Of Love Of Man's Best Friend - Here's a simple test of dog and woman: lock both in your trunk for a few hours, and see who's still happy to see you open it.
• Man Delivers Baby With Instructions Found On Internet - Coincidentally, he found a lot of info about how to make one on the interweb too.

Worst of the week: There is a movie coming out, and it is called Avatar.

Why so bent over the movie that the media is saying will change filmaking and what was already being called the biggest movie of 2009 over a year ago? (For the record, the I think there's some competition from Anal Acrobats 4).

Simple...overkill.

Catch a glimpse of an image or two, and it looks kinda cool - but if you see it more than once it starts to lose it's magic. And then you wonder why it took so long for James Cameron to make this movie. He's a technical genius, but after more than a decade, there's some letdowns.

Like the rehased story elements, for example. Cameron himself admits to a connection to At Play In The Fields Of The Lord and The Emerald Forest, which feature clashes between cultures and civilizations, and acknowledged the film's connection with Dances With Wolves, where a battered soldier finds himself drawn to the tribal culture he was initially fighting against. It's also in the same vein as ainmated films like Fern Gully and Pocahontas. Even the elements of that in Apocalypse Now where Kurtz goes native are embedded within more complex themes. You've also got a long road to cover with the parallels to literature, starting with Poul Anderson's 1957 short story Call Me Joe, where a paralyzed man uses his mind to remotely control an alien body.

Also, the big deal in the story is "unobtainium", the rare element that coincidentally hapens to be under the alien homestead. Yes, they went that way. I'm okay with Jolt cola having a moniker that describes the contents, but unobtainium is just fucking stupid, no matter how you slice it. May as well have called it impossiblium or rarellium if you're just going to do that. At least going to ludicrous speed was funny. The only way I figure Giovanni Ribisi can even say unobtainium with a straight face is because he's a Scientologist, and they have to buy into even more ridiculous shit than that.

And then there's the straight rip off of other elements. Sure, science fiction canabalizes itself and recycles portions, but using visual and stylistic elements take the luster off the design. Especially when they're painfully similar to what was the biggest animated flop ever, Delgo.

First of all, both films have heroic male leads who sprint through woodsy shadows in foreign lands.

Both films feature tough but emotional female leads.

Both films feature those female leads (among others) flying on the backs of winged reptilian beasts.


Both films feature aircraft zooming through fields of massive floating rocks.

Both films feature big, scary, fanged monsters of various types threatening their heroes.

Both films feature alien warriors uncorking their fiercest battle cries.

And both films feature all of the above as individual hurdles in the undying quest for love.

Oh, and both films harbored ambition and vision that required the better part of a decade to produce. Coincidence? If the Enterprise and Millenium Falcon looked the same, both franchises would be dead. Knowing that there's something so similar doesn't garner any excitement for the film. Sure, I'll take advantage if the THX, 3-D IMAX screening and watch the most robust version they're putting out, but that's incredibly low on my list of things to do.

Also: Tiger Woods > 9/11

Today was an especially dubious day for Tiger Woods. It wasn't just that TAG Heuer dropped him or that more skanks and their outrageous claims popped up. It was the 20th consecutive day that Tiger Woods news made the front cover (not the sports page cover) of the New York Post.

The last event to make the tabloids front page 19 straight times? The 9/11 attacks. Those were a pretty big deal, right?

The "Fall of Tiger Woods" keeps afloat somehow like a shitty beach ball in a baseball stadium. when will security grab it? The Post is barely considered journalism anyway, but seriously? Can't we let OJ out so he can commit another crime and reclaim the alpha tragic black athelete crown?

Plus: The growing number of contractors in Afghanistan is outpacing the ability to oversee them, raising concerns that the waste and fraud that marred the U.S. mission in Iraq will be repeated. A manufactured war by Bush-era profiteers might be lining the pockets of their constiuents? What a shock.

There are already more than 100,000 Defense Department contractors in Afghanistan and that figure could grow to 160,000 to support the surge of U.S. troops ordered by President Barack Obama earlier this month. Evidence suggests that the hard lessons learned in Iraq are not being applied in Afghanistan.

The Defense Contract Audit Agency has examined $5.9 billion in Afghanistan troop support contracts and determined that $950 million of the expenses were unreasonable or lacked adequate documentation to support them, according to a memo distributed to Senate subcommittee members. That's nearly one of every six dollars, math whizes.

There are also too few contract managers and oversight personnel overseeing spending in Afghanistan by the Defense Department and other U.S. agencies, according to the staff memo. The hiring budget for the defense audit agency has remained "relatively stagnant" as spending in Afghanistan increases. Overall, the Defense and State Departments and the U.S. Agency for International Development have spent more than $23 billion on contracts in Afghanistan since 2002, the subcommittee said.

Dick Cheney is worse than Osama Bin Laden, and the real kicker is we know where Cheney is and nobody has killed him.

And: Speaking of losing the war on terror....insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan have hacked into live video feeds from Predator drones. Oops.

Though militants could see the video, there is no evidence they were able to jam the electronic signals from the unmanned aerial craft or take control of the vehicles, a senior defense official said. I guess they'll get to watch their last moments before a missile blasts them. But obtaining the video feeds can provide insurgents with critical information about what the military may be targeting, including buildings, roads and other facilities.

Shiite fighters in Iraq used off-the-shelf software programs such as SkyGrabber — available for as little as $25.95 on the Internet — to regularly capture drone video feeds. The interception, first done there at least a year ago, was possible because the remotely flown planes had unprotected communications links. Within the last several months, the military has found evidence of at least one instance where insurgents in Afghanistan also monitored U.S. drone video, a second defense official said. He had no details on how many times it was done in Afghanistan or by which group.

The Defense Department has addressed the issue, and is working to encrypt all of its drone video feeds from Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. One defense official noted that upgrading the encryption in the drones is a lengthy process because there are at least 600 unmanned vehicles along with thousands of ground stations to address. "This was just one of the signals, a broadcast signal, and there was no hacking. It is the interception of a broadcast signal," they said. The problem is that when the drones were first being developed they were using commercial equipment, which as time goes on could become vulnerable to intercepts.

In December 2008, the military apprehended a Shiite militant in Iraq whose laptop contained files of intercepted drone video feeds, and in July, they found pirated feeds on other militant laptops. The military has known about the vulnerability for more than a decade, but assumed adversaries would not be able to exploit it. And that's the same reasoning the made security offficals not think lightning would strike the WTC three times.

Worst picture(s) of the week:

Spencer Pratt, you're a fag.

Worst bonus links:
• Poland: Auschwitz 'Arbeit Macht Frei' sign stolen - You can take apart the camp, but you can never erase history.
• Kids' Swine Flu Shots Recalled; Not Strong Enough - Ask any of those kids getting a needle in the arm and they'll tell you it's strong enough.
• R.I.P. Alien Screenwriter Dan O'Bannon - Via con Dios, Pinback.
• Kevin Costner Marks 20th Anniversary Of Field Of Dreams - He had a sub sandwich and took a nap that day. And wished his career was as big as it was 20 years ago.
• Bengals' Henry Dies Day After Dispute - To be correct, it wasn't the dispute that killed him, it was falling out of the back of a moving truck.

Coke Bull

Hong Kong officials say they have found traces of cocaine in cans of Red Bull, a few days after Taiwanese authorities confiscated close to 18,000 cases of the popular energy drink - and you can bet they're going to keep it for themselves!

Officials at the Centre for Food Safety said a laboratory analysis found tiny amounts of the drug in samples of "Red Bull Cola," "Red Bull Sugar-free" and "Red Bull Energy Drink". The drink has now been taken off the shelves of major supermarkets, a spokesman said, and added that the amount of cocaine found in the drinks posed little health danger. But damn if they didn't make the drink better. Red Bull moved quickly to deny the findings and said independent tests on the same batch of drinks had found no traces of cocaine.

Yet this comes on the heel's of last week's discovery of trace amounts of coca leaf in Red Bull Cola, resulting in six German states banning the drink. According to authorities, the substance requires the beverage to be classified as a narcotic, requiring a license for sale. (Of course, even Coca-Cola didn't become entirely cocaine-free until 1929.)

Red Bull said coca leaf extracts were used worldwide as a natural flavouring, and that its own tests had found no traces of cocaine. The illegal cocaine alkaloid - one of 10 found in coca and representing only 0.8% of the plant's chemical make-up - is chemically removed before use, as mandated by international anti-narcotics agencies. "There is no scientific basis for this ban on Red Bull Cola because the levels of cocaine found are so small," Fritz Soergel, the head of the Institute for Biomedical and Pharmaceutical Research in Nuremberg, Bavaria, told Time magazine. "And it's not even cocaine itself. According to the tests we carried out, it's a non-active degradation product with no effect on the body. If you start examining lots of other drinks and food so carefully, you'd find a lot of surprising things."

Red Bull's Asia Pacific marketing director, Daniel Beatty, said the firm strongly disputed the findings. "It would have been absolutely impossible for the Hong Kong or any other authorities to have found traces of cocaine in Red Bull Energy Drink," he said in a statement, and then brushed away some mysterious white substance from his nose. "We expect the Hong Kong authorities to recognize their error soon," he said, adding the firm's representatives were already meeting with Taiwanese authorities to point out the error (possibly with a monetary suggestion).

Meanwhile, Taiwanese authorities ordered the drinks to be removed from shelves pending further investigation.

Chinese Kevorkian

A Chinese man was pushed off a bridge by an angry passer-by after his threat to commit suicide held up traffic for five hours, Chinese media reported. Because sometimes, you need a helping hand.

Retired soldier Lian Jiansheng (66) broke through a police cordon and reached out to shake the hand of would-be jumper Chen Fuchao...before shoving him off the bridge. "I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interests," Lai was quoted as saying by a newspaper. "They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities' attention to their appeals."

Chen, who was 2 million yuan ($293,200) in debt because of a failed building project, fell almost 25 feet onto a partially inflated emergency air cushion and was hospitalized with wrist and back injuries. Lai was detained by police and thanked by those stuck in traffic. Chen was at least the twelfth person since early April to threaten suicide at the same spot, the Haizhu bridge in Guangzhou.

Pictures? Yes, here...

No More Cream Of Sum Yung Gi

Heard about China’s new sex park “Love Land”? Well that's all you will!

Love Land was planned to be a sex park that would feature exhibits on sexual history, feature naked human sculptures, giant genitals, and have a sex technique workshop. According to the park’s manager, Lu Xiaoqing, the park is said to help people “enjoy a harmonious sex life.” He added, “Sex is a taboo subject in China but people really need to have more access to information about it.”

Not if the government can help it.

The park was scheduled to open in October in Chongqing, but all the media attention apparently pissed off the Communist Party of China and they ordered Love Land to be knocked down, or as their government says, reloacted and re-educated.

Toilet Snake Attack!

A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit his penis as sat on the toilet at his rural home, local media reported. And contrary to popular belief, "toilet snake attack" is not the secret move from Street Fighter IV.

"As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up," the China Times said. "When he looked down, he saw the big snake." That's what she said. But not there in China.

The 51-year-old man, from Nantou County, was under medical care with minor injuries, a director at Puli Christian Hospital said."As soon as he has passed the risk of infection, he can go," the director, who declined to be named, said. "A snake's mouth isn't always clean." I'm pretty sure that was also in a fortune cookie I had.

Local television images showed the black and yellow reptile, reportedly a species of rat snake, being uncoiled and plucked slowly from the toilet bowl. Snakes regularly enter rural homes in Taiwan and other sub-tropical regions of Asia.

That's one of my worst nightmares come true, but also why I look in the bowl before I sit down. I look in the bowl afterwards for another reason entirely, but even if you're not a bowl checker, dropping a heavy, fast load right away should block your toilet up enough so that any marauding intruders can be foiled. And for the record, Toilet Snake is an awesome email or online handle.

They've Got A Case Of The Mondays

The National Labor Council's investigation into the working conditions at the Meitai keyboard factory in Dongguan City "is just ghastly, a stinging indictment of the South China economic miracle". The workers are underpaid, cheated out of their wages, forced into overtime, subjected to brainwashing, and subjected to unsafe working conditions and denied medical assistance when they're injured. FYI, Meitai makes keyboards for Lenovo, Microsoft, HP and others...hey, you're part of the problem!

“Employees should actively monitor each other.” (Meitai factory’s Factory Regulations and Discipline, Chapter VII)

* “Infractions” punished with the loss of over two hours’ wages (fine of 10 RMB--$1.44), including for—
--“Being 1 to 5 minutes late to start a shift…”
--“Not periodically trimming fingernails, which will affect product quality.”
--“Not lining up correctly while punching time cards or at the cafeteria.”
--“Wearing work shoes outside the work room after work.”
--“Putting hands in pant pockets while inside the factory or workroom.”

* “Infractions” punished with the loss of 4 ½ hours wages (20 RMB fine, $2.88)
--“…answering a personal telephone call in the workroom.”
--“Not diligently working or raising ones head to look around when guests or cadres come to visit.”
--“Putting personal objects on the work desk.”
--“…listening to the radio while on the job.”
--“Not parking bicycles according to company regulations; riding bicycles in and out of the company in a way not in accordance with company regulations.”
--“Returning to the dorm after regulated hours [curfew].”

* “Infractions” punished with the loss of nearly seven hours’ wages (30 RMB fine--$4.32)
--“Switching beds without authorization.” (Dorm beds are assigned by management.)

* “Infractions” punished with the loss of nearly 1 ½ days’ wages (50 RMB fine--$7.20)
--“Workers who arrive over one hour late…”
--“Riding the elevator without permission.”
--“Plugging in electronics [using electricity] in the dorm room for personal use.”
--“Using the company phone to make personal calls.”
--“Producing products of low quality…”
--“Workers who…go to visit other workers during working hours.”
--“Chatting at the workstation during work hours…”
--“Entering or leaving the factory area without allowing door personnel [security guards] to inspect [search workers].”
--“Treating supervisors with an arrogant attitude…”

* “Infractions” punished with the loss of nearly three days’ wages (100 RMB fine--$14.40):
--“Leaving one’s workstation without permission…”
--“Putting up personal notices…or handing out flyers.”
--“Revealing confidential company or production-related information.”

* “Infractions” punished with firing:
--“Violating labor discipline…and not obeying the company’s work arrangements.”
--“…Taking part in illegal organizations.” [In China, this means independent unions; human, women’s and children’s rights organizations and non-state-sanctioned religious organizations.]
--“Not following the procedures spelled out by government regulations on stopping work, slowing work down, encouraging others to stop or slow down work.”
--“Missing three days of work.”
--“Disobeying China’s one-child policy.”
--“Not obeying company arrangements or directions or…collectively causing trouble as a group…”
--“Any behavior similar to that listed above or helping or colluding in such behavior.”

Not China White, But KMT-K

Almost 70 pounds of the party drug ketamine arrived on one of the first direct cargo flights between political rivals China and Taiwan following six decades of hostile relations. International trade rules!

Customs agents in Taipei found the popular powdered hallucinatory drug packed into eight boxes, smuggled in on a Chinese cargo plane, customs officials said. "Our expectation was that direct cargo links could possibly lead to drug smuggling...I can't say this was beyond our imagination." Mine either. The ketamine was worth $27,000, which seems like very little for that much product, but I don't know what the going price is anymore. But I can tell you how much mail order brides are from the Golden Triangle...

Here's the history: Taiwan and China opened direct cargo routes and launched daily direct passenger flights Monday for the first time since 1949 to help Taiwan investors save time and money on travel and factory shipments. China has claimed sovereignty over Taiwan since 1949, when Mao Zedong's Communists won the Chinese civil war and Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalists (KMT) fled to the island. Beijing has vowed to bring Taiwan under its rule, by force if necessary.

A 31-year-old Chinese woman was arrested in connection with the ketamine, which was destined for a convenience store in central Taiwan. It wasn't 7-11, but maybe Circle K...

Boomer Wang

Wang Diange was attending a wake in his home (how does one attend something in their own home?) when an explosion took off half of his roof and left him dead in the wreckage. Because it had been a stormy day, family members and the police assumed that lightning was what killed Wang and left half of his home in ruins.

However, as Wang was being placed into the cremation chamber at his own funeral, his body exploded, causing the chamber's oven doors to fly off their hinges. Only then, spectators discovered a small piece of twisted metal, which led them to what really killed Mr. Wang:

A small weather rocket filled with silver iodide—shot into the sky in order to break up hail into rain—failed to explode in the atmosphere, and instead had fallen through Wang's roof and acted like a bullet, instantly killing Wang as it was lodged into his body.

Three years later, the Weather Bureau has given the Wang family 80,000 yuan (roughly $12,000) as a compensation for their loss. That's not much for a Wang.

No, That's Not MSG

Substances commonly used as industrial dyes, insecticides and drain cleaners were included on a list of illegal food additives China just released as part of a monthslong government crackdown aimed at improving the country's shoddy food safety record.

Let me restate that in case you didn't get it: industrial dyes, insecticides and drain cleaners are now illegal food additives in China.

Among the 17 banned substances was boric acid, commonly used as an insecticide, which is mixed with noodles and meatballs to increase elasticity. Also forbidden was industrial formaldehyde and lye, used in making soap and drain cleaner and added to water used to soak some types of dried seafood to make the products appear fresher and bigger. I just don't know if we'll ever be able to enjoy Chinese food anymore now that they're taking all the good stuff out of it.

The scandal over melamine-tainted infant formula, which likely killed six babies and sickened 294,000 others earlier this year, prompted the government food safety campaign last week. Oh, and then there was all this other stuff too. And this too. The list of banned substances was released by a government committee tasked with weeding out the practice of augmenting food products with nonfood additives. Local authorities were also warned to watch out for another 10 food additives that are often used excessively. The government had previously banned some of the 17 substances as separate scandals rocked the country and raised concerns over products such as milk and eggs, but the list appeared to mark the first attempt at compiling the information.

Also on the list were various industrial dyes that are added to improve the appearance of food products, ranging from chili powder to tea to cooked meats. The government working group even listed an addictive substance made from the poppy plant and related to opium, which can be used as a painkiller. It is often used in hot pot, a Chinese dish where meat, vegetables and tofu are cooked at the table. Along with the banned additives, the government named 10 substances such as colorings, preservatives and artificial flavorings that should not be used excessively. Previously banned items on the list were Sudan red, a cancer-causing industrial dye used to color egg yolks, and melamine, an industrial chemical used in plastics that is added to watered-down milk to fool protein tests measuring nitrogen content.

China is also looking into the practice of adding melamine to animal feed after finding eggs spiked with the chemical in October. China's National Feed Office found 27 cases of contamination among 22,700 samples and forwarded the problematic batches to police, the paper said. China first banned the use of melamine in animal feed in June 2007, after wheat gluten used in pet food was found to contain excessive melamine. The ingredient was blamed for killing dogs and cats in North America.

Antphrodesiac

China has executed the leader of a bogus scheme for breeding ants to make aphrodisiacs that conned investors out of $439 million. Either the Chinese are stupid as hell or this was the mother of all scams.

The fictitious ant-breeding project that Wang Zhendong fronted features prominently in posters and other government educational materials warning of the risks of pyramid schemes and other investment schemes that sound too good to be true. And his execution pretty much seals the deal on convincing people it's a bad choice

Wang promised investors in the fictitious project returns of up to 60%. The ants were to be used for making liquor, herbal remedies and aphrodisiacs. One investor committed suicide after realizing he had been duped, while many others suffered from depression, which, ironically would have been helped by the product they were duped by. No word on how Wang was executed, but it would have been terrific if he was put on a mound of carnivorous fire ants..

Don't Bogart That Stash

When archeologists opened the tomb of a Gushi shaman in northwest China, they found his stash. Are you surprised to find an ancient shaman liked to toke the herb?

The 2,700 year-old corpse had been buried with close to two pounds of marijuana, making the bust discovery the oldest known use of cannabis for purposes other than food or clothing. And researchers believe that he was entombed with the plant so he could enjoy its stoney properties in the afterlife.

A paper published in the Journal of Experimental Botany reports the find in China’s Xinjiang region, where many modern strains of cannabis are thought to have originated. In addition to the 789 grams of weed, the tomb contained bridles, archery equipment, and a harp - apparent provisions for the afterlife. Unlike other early examples of cannabis use, the research team believed it was common practice in burials to provide materials needed for the afterlife. They are also conducting a battery of tests on the ancient dope, hoping to measure the levels of THC and germinate the seeds found in the cache, in an attempt to better understand ancient uses of the plant - and get an old school high.

Shameful Body Suit

Chinese artist Ming Yi Sung knit and crocheted this white bunny suit, and it wasn't even the strangest thing she ever made. And it sure didn't help get her laid, either.

Weekend Edition

Some of the headlines from over the weekend...because we may not post, but we still follow the news.

Kin outraged, distraught over teen's cyber suicide - Only in Florida do they refer to a family as "kin". How appropriate.

British may ban 'happy hour' as drink deaths rise - And still, no plans to institute a general dentistry program.

Panda in China zoo bites student who wanted a hug - Call it a hug, with a little something extra for a dumbass.

Hunter's bullet grazes 2 kids at Mich. day care - Better luck next time...you may actually bag one of them.

Ohio police nab possible 'Granny Robber' suspect - "Granny Panties" suspect still at large

US: Financial woes no excuse in funding Afghan war - Not even recession can stop warmongering!

Astronauts face hardest spacewalk to finish repair - What, in the freezing cold zero gravity of space, how much more difficult can it get?

Google empowers users to edit search results - Yes, it's called "do another search"

HIV tests not yet as routine as cholesterol checks - then again, high cholesterol isn't being transmitted through unprotected sex, needle sharing, or blood transfusions.

Teen lives 4 months with no heart, leaves hospital - My ex lived for longer without a heart, and you don't see a news story on her, do you?

MTV launches African music awards - Because what Africa needs are MTV awards, not the prevention of genocide, famine, poverty, civil war, or AIDS.

Jimmy Connors arrested in Santa Barbara - It's been so long since he was newsworthy, but apparently, he could get arrested.

Australia outback mayor wins annual sexist award - What's wrong with being sexy?

Obese have right to two airline seats - Great, they get a second seat free, and they're going to want double the snacks next!

To turn the tide on piracy in Somalia, bring justice to its fisheries - Yes, the age old pirates-vs.-fisheries argument.

Long Dragon

Bruce Lee is getting a belated hero's welcome in China, with the country's state broadcaster set to air a 50 part prime-time series on the late kung fu star. What, is it his life in real time?

Lee became a chest-thumping source of nationalistic pride to Chinese around the world with his characters even though the influence wasn't felt immediately in China, which was then a closed communist country. Lee's films started surfacing in China on video in the 1980s — years after his death in 1973 from swelling of the brain.

China Central Television is producing the exhaustive $7.3 million biography, "The Legend of Bruce Lee" — the country's first movie or TV series on the actor. Shot in China, Hong Kong, Macau, the U.S., Italy and Thailand over nine months, the series, starts this weekend and will air daily on the CCTV's flagship channel, with two episodes airing consecutively every night in a two-hour slot.

Unlike past films about Lee, it is unusually detailed in tracing Lee's life, from his teenage years in Hong Kong to his move to the U.S., where he studied and taught martial arts, to his movie career and early death at 32. "We've only seen the glorious side of Bruce Lee — he comes out all guns blazing, his films are entertaining. But very few people know what injuries he suffered and what grievances he suffered." They note the series even reveals that Lee was afraid of cockroaches. Danny Chan, best known for his work in Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer, has an uncanny resemblance to Lee with his thick eyebrows and slender body and plays the dead icon.

In an apparent effort to boost racial pride, the series was originally scheduled to be aired before the Beijing Olympics in August, but was pushed back in keeping with the period of mourning for the deadly earthquake in China's central Sichuan province in May, which killed 70,000 people. Because kung-fu and natural disasters don't mix, buddy.

Children, Future, Etc.

Soon We'll Go Ludicrous Speed

The Chinese have a shaky track record, so when they claim to have made a major step in space travel and exploration, you've got to be a little skeptical. Maybe all that research was being done in lieu of taking care of their toy production. Or food and medicine. Or airlines. Or baby cribs and milk.

Chinese researchers claim they've confirmed the theory behind an "impossible" space drive, and are proceeding to build a demonstration version. If they're right, this might transform the economics of satellites, open up new possibilities for space exploration – and give the Chinese a decisive military advantage in space. To say that the "Emdrive" (short for "electromagnetic drive") concept is controversial would be an understatement. According to Roger Shawyer, the British scientist who developed the concept, the drive converts electrical energy into thrust via microwaves, without violating any laws of physics. Many other researchers believe otherwise. An article about the Emdrive in New Scientist magazine drew a massive volley of criticism. Scientists not only argued that Shawyer's work was blatantly impossible, and and that his reasoning was flawed. They also said the article should never have been published.

"It is well known that Roger Shawyer’s 'electromagnetic relativity drive' violates the law of conservation of momentum, making it simply the latest in a long line of 'perpetuum mobiles' that have been proposed and disproved for centuries," wrote John Costella, an Australian physicist. "His analysis is rubbish and his 'drive' impossible."

Shawyer stands by his theoretical work. His company, Satellite Propulsion Research Ltd. (SPR), has constructed demonstration engines which he says produce thrust, using a tapering resonant cavity filled with microwaves. He is adamant that this is not a perpetual motion machine, and does not violate the law of conservation of momentum because different reference frames apply to the drive and the waves within it. Shawyer's big challenge, he says, has been getting people who will actually look into his claims rather than simply dismissing them.

These sorts of extravagant claims are usually associated with self-taught, backyard inventor claiming Einstein got it all wrong. Shawyer, on the contrary, is a scientist who has worked with radar and communication systems and was a program manager at European space company EADS Astrium; his work rests entirely on Einstein being right. The thrust is the result of a relativistic effect and would not occur under simple Newtonian physics. Many have dismissed his work out of hand, and British government funding has ceased. He has had some interest from both the U.S. and China. Now the Chinese connection with the Northwestern Polytechnical University (NPU) in Xi'an seems to have paid off.

"NPU started their research program in June 2007, under the supervision of Professor Yang Juan. They have independently developed a mathematical simulation which shows unequivocally that a net force can be produced from a simple resonant tapered cavity," Shawyer tells DANGER ROOM. "The thrust levels predicted by this simulation are similar to those resulting from the SPR design software, and the SPR test results."

What's more, Shawyer says, NPU is "currently manufacturing" a "thruster" based on this theoretical work. "I could confirm that our mathematical simulation gives the results Dr. Roger Shawyer told you. Now we are submitting our result to a journal. It is now under the consideration of the editor," Professor Yang adds. "We also developed a tapered cavity and are preparing an experiment which will be completed at the end of this year."

Needless to say, independent confirmation is a big deal -- though many will want to see it published in a peer-reviewed journal. Even then I doubt the controversy will subside. Prof. Yang has plenty of experience in this type of area, having previously done work on microwave plasma thrusters, which use a resonant cavity to accelerate a plasma jet for propulsion. While the theory behind the Emdrive is very different, the engineering principles of building the hardware are similar. The Chinese should be well capable of determining whether the thruster really works or whether the apparent forces are caused by experimental errors.

The thrust produced is small, but significant. Shawyer compares a C-Band Emdrive with the existing NSTAR ion thruster used by NASA. The Emdrive produces 85 mN of thrust compared to 92 for the NSTAR (that's about one-third of an ounce). But the Emdrive only consumes a quarter of the amount of power and weighs less than seven kilos compared to over thirty kilos. But the biggest difference is in propellant: NSTAR uses ten grams per hour – the Emdrive uses none. As long as it has an electricity supply, the Emdrive will keep going.

The possibilities are phenomenal: Instead of going out of service when they run out of fuel, satellites will have greatly extended endurance and will be able to move around at will. (We won’t have to shoot them down because of the risk from toxic fuel either.) Deep space probes will be able to go further, faster – and stop when they arrive. Shawyer calculates that a solar-powered Emdrive could take a manned mission to Mars in 41 days. Provided it works, of course.

What will China do with the technology? It may be relevant that Prof Yang is not unknown in military circles, having published a paper on "Plasma Attack Against Low-Orbit Spy Satellites." Meanwhile what about the American interest? Shawyer told me that "the flight thruster program is on hold for the present. [O]nce the UK government had provided an export license for a U.S. military application, the major U.S. aerospace company we had been dealing with, stopped talking to us. " The company may have decided that the Emdrive could not work. If they're wrong, China has at least a year's head start in a technology that will dominate space and make previous satellites as obsolete as sailing ships in the age of steam.

Planet China?

And I usually expect alien behavior out of the Japanese...