Pigs In A Steel Blanket

Americans have a new way to offend the world's Muslims, dead or alive.

Jihawg Ammo sells boxes of gun cartridges that are made with pork products, which they think are deterrents to potential terrorists (y'know, because they don't eat pork because of their religious beliefs). "With Jihawg Ammo, you don't just kill an Islamist terrorist, you also send him to hell," the company's press release state. "That should give would-be martyrs something to think about before they launch an attack. If it ever becomes necessary to defend yourself and those around you our ammo works on two levels." Brendon and Julie Hill, who developed the technology for the cartridges with his wife, started the company as a tongue-in-cheek way to stand up to radical Islamic terrorists. "We're having some fun with it," Hill said. "It's the proverbial middle finger back to political correctness."

Since they launched their website this Spring, the Hills "have been inundated with orders" for their custom cartridges, which retail for about $20 for a box of cartridges, but did not release sales figures.

I'm pretty sure Muslims do not believe in hell, and certainly not the Christian place purchasers think they're going to shoot them into. And unless you can well the info over your gunfire, or you're in a gun battle in a Jihawg Ammunition factory, I doubt there's much fear or a threat to them.

Camofucked

In the Armed Forces, you're trained to think and act like a group, and uniform means more than just the clothes you wear.  Except when it makes you stand out.

The Army is changing it's clothes, and no, blood is not the new black.  Over the next year, the pixelated "Universal Camouflage Pattern" design that debuted in 2004 at a cost of $5 billion is being phased out, eliminating one of the largest mistakes they'e made (sorry, clothes only - not land wars in Asia).  Soldiers have roundly criticized the gray-green uniform for standing out almost everywhere it’s been worn and called the pattern a fiasco.

To eliminate the problem caused by , textile technologists (that's a real job?) at the Army research center in Natick, MA are testing new armed forces camouflage patterns are made. Currently, four patterns are going through a rigorous battery of tests to give soldiers patterns suitable for different environments, plus a single neutral pattern.  These will eventually make it's way beyond uniforms and onto body armor and other gear, and the selection will involve hundreds of computer trials as well on-the-ground testing at half a dozen locations around the world. Until then, soldiers are using a greenish, blended replacement called MultiCam as a temporary fix.

The Army’s camouflage researchers (wow, that's also a job?) say UPC pattern’s origins begins when they helped develop a similarly pixilated camouflage now worn by the Marine Corps called MARPAT in 2002.  At that time, the Army was looking for a new camouflage pattern that would solve the problem in Iraq on not having enough desert-specific gear to go around.  The plan was to spend two years testing patterns and color schemes from different angles and distances and in different environments, including a precursor design of Multi-Cam. The results and best design never made it onto the battlefield, due in part to the Program Executive Office Soldier - a branch of the Army in charge of equipping soldiers with gear, who made the camouflage team to pick a pattern long before trials were finished.

They ordered the researchers to take the winning colors and “basically put it in the Marine Corps pattern."   The brigadier general ultimately responsible for the decision, James Moran, who retired from the Army after leaving Program Executive Office Soldier, has not publicly  responded regarding the decision.  Though many folks want the truth about the camo choice, it is believed they can't handle the truth...

Aerodestructive

Imagine you could run so fast, your skin peeled off.

That's basically what happened with a secret hyper-sonic plane developed by DARPA - y'know, the lovable scamps from the Defense Advanced Research Project Agency!  Apparently, a plane going 20 times the speed of sound may put a little pressure on the surface of the aircraft.  At least, that's the best guess as to what caused their HTV-2 to crash in the Pacific Ocean last August.  Not bad for an eight month inquiry.

DARPA expected the arrowhead shaped vehicle to lose some of its skin mid-flight, but as they say, "larger than anticipated portions of the vehicle's skin peeled from the aerostructure".  That may be an understatement, considering the shockwaves it experienced were more than 100 times what the vehicle was designed to withstand.  Well, that's what will happen when you make something that can get from Los Angeles to New York in about 12 minutes. Details of the  craft's design and stability system still remain classified, but it's likely tied to a test that the Army performed two months later on a system called the Advanced Hypersonic Weapon, that was (the kind designed to strike any target in the world in just a couple hours).

Keeping Your Beach House Safe

G.I. Don't Know

Give us your tired, your poor huddled masses...and then give machine guns to the stupid - because nearly one-fourth of the students who try to join the military fail their entrance exam. Perhaps we should ask ourselves if we want our well-honed killing machines to be able to answer basic math, science and reading questions...

The report by The Education Trust found that 23% of recent high school graduates don't get the minimum score needed on the enlistment test to join any branch of the military. Since when did cannon fodder need to pass a test? Isn't the military one of the last havens for the truly stupid to have a career? It's not like there's thousands of positions at McDonalds opening each year because fry cooks are stepping on IEDs.

To make matters worse, Pentagon data that shows 75% of applicants for the armed services aged 17 to 24 don't qualify for the military because they are physically unfit, have a criminal record or didn't graduate high school. The Department of Defense says it is still meeting its recruitment goals, but worry it could change as the economy improves. There must be something about not getting shot while working for Best Buy that is appealing.

U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan said, "I am deeply troubled by the national security burden created by America's under performing education system," and while that also means he's not doing his job correctly, is it the failing of the system or just stupid kids? Kenneth Jackson (19) a recent enlistee says passing the entrance exam is easy for those who paid attention in school, and blamed the education system for why more recruits aren't able to pass the test. Settle down, showoff! "The classes need to be tougher because people aren't learning enough," he said.

So G.I. Genius thinks that the classes are too easy and that's why applicants are failing? If the result from what's currently administered is nearly 1/4 failing, how can you think making the curriculum more difficult is going to benefit test takers positively? And this guy passed the test? We all know there are some serious shortcomings with the school system, but making school harder for dumb motherfuckers isn't going boost the entry scores.

The Education Trust study shows wide disparities in scores among white and minority students (close to 40% of black students and 30% of Hispanics, compared to 16% of whites), so everybody can jump to all the socio-economic conclusions they want, but if that was the case, why does Wyoming have the lowest passage rate (13%) - not quite the Latino and African American hotbed like other states. On the test, the average score for blacks is 38 and for Hispanics is 44, compared to whites' average score of 55, which according to reports reflect similar racial gaps on other standardized exams.

I am trying to avoid those elements for sake of discussion, because my real point is that stupid people are stupid. You can fault a poor educational system, but is that really to blame? Even the best mechanic can't repair a shitty engine. There are great opportunities in the military, and having an educated defense is desirable, but the smarter kids are going to go to college and careers - places they're less likely to get killed by an enemy. Besides, why do you think the entry level soldiers are called "grunts"?

Their Enemy Themselves

A soldier who stole the gun and credit card details of Israel's military chief was sentenced to 10 years' imprisonment.  They're so badass they can't stand up to themselves!

Military police said Lewis Maskota used his mobile phone to take pictures of a credit card belonging to Lieutenant General Gabi Ashkenazi in August, and then gave them to weapons dealers, who used the data to make purchases.  Way to stick it to the man! The soldier also admitted to stealing Ashkenazi's gun from his office and selling it to criminals. His explanation was that he was caught up in debt and was under great financial pressure at the time, which is a great reason to border on treason and gross insubordination.

Maskota, who served occasionally as a security guard in Ashkenazi's office, was demoted from corporal to private. The event called into question level of security around Israel's top general, who should be fine, as all Israeli generals are bulletproof because they eat bullets for breakfast (it's kosher).

Ballon Arms Race Escalation

The Russian military has a cunning plan to deceive their enemies and save money at the same time: inflatable weapons! I wasn't aware that Russia had enemies to intimidate anymore.  Let's hope they're not up against a nation of straight pins.

Looking just like real ones, the inflatable arms are both easy to transport and quick to deploy. The decoys are a hundred times cheaper than the real thing, which means Moscow will save a lot of money...that they ought to spend on at least a few real ones. Fitting into a black duffel bag, the large sheet looks like a tent, but when attached to a pump, the plastic begins to rise and take shape. A demonstration shows how two men can "make" a Russian tank. A second balloon expands into a S-300 rocket launcher, complete with giant truck and inflatable rockets. Eventually, they will blow up MiG fighter jets and an entire Russian radar station.

The inflatables are stitched together at a former hot-air balloon factory. These state-of-the-art stand-ins are among the most advanced military decoys in the world, and much lighter and manageable than the rubber versions used in World War II - though terrible in an actual firefight. Their main asset are that they are made of a special material that tricks enemy radar and thermal imaging into thinking they are real weapons. "I'm proud to be making entire rocket-launchers and tanks for our armed forces," says a female worker who is stitching a surface-to-air missile system. "When you finish sewing them and you watch them being filled with air, it's so satisfying."  She did not comment though if the balloon arms made her feel any safer.

Mission Re-Accomplished!

The 4th Stryker Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division was officially designated the last combat brigade to leave Iraq under President Obama's plan to end combat operations in Iraq by the end of August. There's some fanfare now that the troop are crossing the border and pulling out earlier than planned, drawing to a close the seven year and five month U.S.-led invasion. As they rolled into Kuwait, John McCain kept it hip for the young GOPers with their new-fangled technology and worked his Twitter even harder than usual, stating "Last American combat troops leave Iraq. I think President George W. Bush deserves some credit for victory."

DXM is quick to point out (as it is his quote of the day):

Yes, he deserves credit the same way BP deserves credit for essentially being forced to clean up the mess it made. If it hadn't fucked things up so royally in the first place, there would be no need for the effort put into making things right. You don't get to claim victory when the colossal screw-up you created finally limps into history. Backward logic at its finest.

On the plus side, at least McCain didn't figure out a way to turn this into an opportunity to flirt with Snooki.

You know something, now that I think about it: taking credit for something you're supposed to have done -- where have I heard that before?

Recalling the post from last January, The President is Near, he elaborates. Problem solved? That's questionable, but how much back-slapping and congratulations are due when you're fixing problems you made? And is this really the last goodbye to a country who themselves are saying a pull out is too soon? That answer, I believe, will eventually end up as no.

Hey Man Nice Shot

A British sniper set a world sharpshooting record by taking out two Taliban soldiers in Afghanistan from more than a mile and a half away -- a distance so great, experts say the terrorists wouldn't have even heard the shots. But they sure felt them.

Craig Harrison killed the two insurgents from the incredible distance of 8,120 feet (1.54 miles) in the Helmand Province last November, using his Accuracy International L11583 long-range rifle, which lived up to it's name. The shots were roughly equal to the distance between the Statue of Liberty and Battery Park (for you New Yorkers, in case those numbers were too hard to compute). The first round hit a machine-gunner in the stomach and killed him outright. The second insurgent grabbed his weapon and turned as Harrison's shot hit him in the side, taking him down.

The shots, measured via GPS, surpassed the previous record held by Canadian Army Cpl. Rob Furlong, who killed an al Qaeda gunman from 7,972 feet in 2002. Experts called Harrison's sharp shooting as perfect as it gets. "When you are shooting that far, if you miss by a hair, you miss by a mile," said John Plaster, a retired US Army sharp-shooting instructor. "That is about as precise as any marksmen on the planet could shoot." Harrison's targets likely never knew what was coming. "At a distance like that they cannot even see anyone and they would not even hear the muzzle report."

Harrison, who fired the bullets while his colleagues were under fire, said perfect weather helped him nail the perfect shot. "[There was] no wind, mild weather, clear visibility." He learned of his record nine days ago, when he returned to England to recuperate from a minor gunshot wound and broken arms sustained when his vehicle hit a roadside bomb. The insurgents found out instantly.

Weekend In-Law(s)

Scarlett's parentals are in LA for a few days, and that means we'll be brunching and dining and entertaining for the weekend. So let's get into it already, because I have plans...

Best of the week: Is it good for your health to see someone coughing, sneezing and blowing their nose? Recent studies suggests that the answer might be yes.

Researchers asked young adults to watch a 10-minute slide show containing a series of unpleasant photographs. Some of these participants looked at pictures of people who looked obviously sick in some way (people with pox and rashes, people coughing and sneezing and blowing mucus out of their noses). The participants gave blood samples both before and after each slideshow.

Next the researchers exposed these blood samples to a bacterial infection, and measured the extent to which white blood cells produced interleukin-6 (IL-6). IL-6 is a proinflammatory cytokine that white blood cells make when they detect microbial intruders. More IL-6 indicates a more aggressive immune response to infection. By measuring IL-6 before and after the slide show, the researchers were able to determine whether seeing pictures of disease-y people actually stimulated the immune system to fight infection more aggressively. And it did.

Interesting, but thus far watching adult movies doesn't boost your love making abilities.

Plus: I'm all for PC and not an Apple person at all. So with the hype around the maxi-iPhone iPad, it didn't take long to get past the gloss to really see the drawbacks for such an expensive toy.

It's awkward You can't carry it on your hip like a phone, so it presents the same portability issues as any laptop - you'll need a case of some sort to protect it and carry the power cable. Even around the house, there's no simple way to carry the iPad. It's too thin, heavy, slippery and expensive to put under your arm. Several of our testers were seen carrying it like a dinner tray, as a butler would, to go from the kitchen table to the couch. Portability, shmortability.

It's heavy To be sure, at 1.5 pounds and with all this functionality, the iPad is an impressive feat of engineering. But it's simply not light enough (a Kindle ebook reader is about 10 ounces) and that heft adds to the awkwardness. Holding the iPad in one hand for more than a few minutes to watch a movie or read an ebook results in tired wrists. Even holding it with two hands to read an ebook is tiring. Reading an ebook on a smartphone is ergonomically much more practical.

It's slippery You can ignore the awkward size and weight, but the iPad is also slippery, and its aluminum back is ever-so-slightly slightly concave. You feel as though it'd slip right out if you try to hold it under your arm. And on the kitchen counter, it slides and twirls as you try to type or swipe the screen (required for navigating). It needs rubber feet, but of course then it won't be near as cool. Or the added purchase of a stand (which is probably exactly how they ment the manufacture).

Screen glare The iPad has the same glossy screen as Apple's Macbook Pro laptops and iMac desktops. So unless you're reading in a very dim room, the glare will be noticeable and can be distracting. Even in the shade outdoors, the glare can be really annoying.

Reading in the sun (or lack thereof) If you want to take your iPad along for an outing at the beach, forget about it. The screen looks washed out and is almost impossible to view in bright sunlight. The Kindle's non-glossy e-ink display fares much better outdoors than the iPad's screen.

Fingerprints Once you've used the iPad for a few minutes, among the most glaring shortcomings (besides the screen glare) are the fingerprints on the screen. With a smartphone, you can wipe the screen on your shirt or pants. The iPad is too big for that. We're wondering what exactly to clean it with and where we'll keep the cleaning supplies.

No multitasking The iPad runs the same operating system as the iPhone, and as a result has all of the iPhone's limitations. The most obvious of these is the inability to multitask - or do multiple things simultaneously. The iPad can't run more than one app at a time (with the exception of a few Apple apps, such as iPod, the iPad's music playing app). While this is may be acceptable in a smartphone, it's a major handicap in a device that Apple expects people to spend hours at a time on.

The browser is limited The iPad also uses the same limited Safari browser that's found on the iPhone. While much fuss has been made about the iPad's inability to play Flash video, there are other things it can't do as well. For example, Safari on iPad can't be used to create Google Documents, only to view them.

The virtual keyboard stinks While the virtual keyboard on the iPad is much larger than the iPhone, it's still awkward to type on glass. Even those who've used tiny, cramped netbook keyboards will be disappointed by the lack of real keys and likely reduced to one-finger typing. The iPad can be paired with a physical keyboard, but even this is awkward, because the actions normally done with a mouse or a trackpad on a desktop or laptop have to be done with your finger on the iPad.

No USB port The lack of even one USB port - the universal means of connecting just about everything these days - means you can't connect the device to a printer or other computer peripherals, such as an external hard drive. The iPad can be connected to cameras, but it requires the purchase of a separate accessory from Apple.

iPhone-only apps look horrible Apple boasts that many of the 150,000 apps already available on the iPhone will also work on the iPad. What the company doesn't tell you is that when enlarged to fit on the iPad's screen, these iPhone apps look horrible, with images and text very pixelated. For this reason, many people will opt to buy apps that are made specifically for the iPad, which tend to be more expensive than their iPhone counterparts.

The price is too high $499 is just the beginning for a low-memory model that will fill up too quickly for anyone with a big music library and/or an appetite for video. Toss in some memory and a 2-year, $280 "we'll replace it even if you drop it" warranty at Best Buy, and you're out $1,000. Though given the iPad's weight, awkwardness and slipperiness, the warranty is probably one of the best features.

It doesn't replace anything The iPad will not replace your smartphone. Unless you can't type, it won't replace your laptop. If you love books, you could find a better e-reader. Exactly what need does the iPad fill?

Also: The top US naval officer has vowed to stop people lighting up in submarines, where the confined atmosphere has serious passive smoking implications. Wait, they actually still allowed smoking in subs?

"We are going to stop smoking on submarines," Chief of Naval Operations Admiral Gary Roughead told a recent meeting of senior submariners. Roughead? That's funny. Navy spokesman Lieutenant Commander Mark Jones confirmed a ban could be in the pipeline. "We are currently looking at changing the policy, but we have not changed the policy."

At present, smoking on US submarines is up to the commanding officer's discretion and there are designated areas on many vessels where the crew are allowed to smoke. "That atmosphere moves around the submarine. You don't smell it but the damaging things from the smoke are still present," Roughead said. Roughead? Still funny.

A Pentagon study last year carried out by the American Institute of Medicine revealed that soldiers smoke a lot more on average than civilians and that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan had seen a spike in smoking. The last official figures for the US military, in 2005, showed that almost one third of personnel in the armed forces, 32%, smoke as opposed to just one in five of the American population as a whole.

Up to 40% of US submariners smoke, making it all the more important to look into a ban for the overall health of American sailors.

Best picture of the week:

executing the pick and roll

Best bonus links:

• How To Defeat A Chain Lock With Rubber Bands - Pretty cool. Hopefully they'll figure out how to defeat a chastity belt with a rubber band next.

• US Comedian's Attack On Pacquiao Angers Philippines - The Ace-man knows a little something about boxing, and a lot about pissing people off by not pulling punches to be politically correct. Naturally a Muslim country would freak out.

• Will An AIDS Pill A Day Keep The Virus Away - But if you have to leave something on your teacher's desk, they'll probably prefer an apple.

• Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey Split / Jenny McCarthy Body Count - Now that she's single, pershaps she'll spend more time looking for a mate than opening her mouth about science and things she knows nothing about. And that is why there's a terrific site dedicated to making her look like the idiot lunatic she is.

• Herb Brooks Kid Tells Fenway He’s Sick Of The Yankees - Too bad this kid peaked at five years old, though it's adorable to watch a kid who probably needs a nightlight get all fired up.

• Palin, Obama Spar From A Distance Over Nuke Policy - If you're too ignorant to be able to spell nuclear, you shouldn't be allowed to vocalize your thoughts on it...Ms. Palin.

• Astronomers Solve Enigma Of Eclipsing Star - Now they can all retire, or become astologers. Or catch up on episodes of Nova.

• British Doctors Use Inert Gas To Save Baby - They burped him until he was inert. Or something.

• 10 Acclaimed Authors Who Wrote Only One Novel - Already, Scartoe and I have surpassed this since there's two seasons of His Words - Not Mine.

• Drive It Like It’s Hot - Grand Theft Auto, the reality.

• HP Preps Its Would-Be iPad Killer, The Slate - Innovation breeds competition. And less worship of iEverything.

• Max Q Live: In Space No One Can Hear You Sing - Theere is a band that has been around for years that's made up entirely of astronauts.

• AG Says Haim Obtained 550 Pills Before Death - He needed to take them so he'd be able to watch his performance in that shitty Lost Boys sequel.

• Team Releases 6 Players For Beating Up Their Coach - Normally, that's how hockey players in Slavic countrys make the team.

• Dead Man Denied Seat On Plane - And worse yet, he was being charged extra for being the carry-on.

• Fuckyouyork.com - Yes, that's a website. And that's pretty much what it has to say.

• Nepal's Living Goddess Eyes Banking Career - Either being a human deity is completely blown out of proportion, or banking is severely underated.

Worst of the week: Pajiba has the bad news...

Two more remakes in development to discuss today. Both are ’80s films (oh, OK. One was in 1990). But they present an interesting contrast between the two kinds of remakes we hate the most: 1) remakes of movies that we love that could never be duplicated; and 2) remakes of crappy movies for completely inexplicable reasons.

We’ll start with the molestation of your childhood memories remake: Columbia Pictures and Imagine Entertainment (oh, Ron Howard, how could you?) are developing a remake of Real Genius. Yes, that one. The Val Kilmer movie that everyone over the age of 30 loves. Except Communists and trash humpers. It’s about the youngest kid to be accepted into a program for geniuses who teams up with his roommates to develop a high-powered laser, which is stolen by the military and used as a weapon. But, of course, it was so much more than about that. In 1985 it was a satire. In 2010, no one knows what the hell a satire is or what it even means. The second take on the script is now out to writers, and soon, the “Mythbusters” guys may have to find a new movie to pattern their lives after.

Jesus. It just won’t be the same without the ’80s soundtrack. Also, the original made $13 million at the box office. Why would they remake this movie? (Note: This is not the sequel that was rumored years ago. This is a remake. Val Kilmer’s participation is unknown.)

The other film? House Party...yeah, who cares? Trying to improve upon Real Genius or bother to remake it is like writing a sequel to the Bible - totally unnecessary and a horrible idea. It's my favorite film and the thought of redoing it Fuck this new abomination completely.

Plus: Academics - that that term may be called into question - at the University of Hertfordshire are organising a conference about vampires and their corner of literature.

Dr. (really?) Sam George explained. "I wanted to...prove that you can study popular literature in a serious way." His call for papers led to more than 100 academics from disciplines including film, literature and cultural studies sending in abstracts; 70 have been selected to talk at the two-day conference. Planned lectures range from "Sullied Blood, Semen, and Skin: Vampires and the Spectre of Miscegenation" to "Who Ordered the Hamburger with Aids?: Blood Anxiety in True Blood".

And in a bid to make the most of that, George is launching, in September, what seems to be the world's first master's degree in vampire literature. "I've fielded a huge number of inquiries from people all over the world who are interested in studying vampires, zombies and the undead at a higher level," she says. "I had the idea of offering the master's as a direct follow-up from the conference. I thought it was crucial to have a way of extending this burst of awareness." The best papers from the conference will be collected in a book, which will become a textbook for the MA students.

Wow, that is a whole new level of retarded. Oh, who cares...there's already a real Masters you can get in real literature. But that does require oyu read decent books.

Also: Wikileaks obtained and decrypted video that shows US occupying forces in an Apache helicopter intentionally firing on a dozen civilians in Baghdad, including journalists working for the Reuters news organization: 22-year-old Reuters photographer, Namir Noor-Eldeen, and his driver, Saeed Chmagh, 40.

The video is accompanied by audio of the pilots' radio dialogue. Reuters had been attempting to obtain the video under Freedom of Information Act requests since the incident occurred in July, 2007, but the Pentagon blocked all requests. Reuters news editor-in-chief David Schlesinger says the video is "graphic evidence of the dangers involved in war journalism and the tragedies that can result". Wikileaks director Julian Assange said Wikileaks had to break military encryption on the file to view it, and will not reveal how or from whom the file was obtained. The transcript (and audio) seem to show the air crew lying about encountering a firefight. When they finish shooting, they laugh at the dead.

Looks like we're still not quite winning the hearts and minds of those people...

And: Glacier National Park has lost two more of its namesake moving icefields to climate change. Soon, it will just be Nation Park.

Warmer temperatures have reduced the number of named glaciers in the northwestern Montana park to 25, and the rest of the glaciers may be gone by the end of the decade.

The latest two to fall below the 25 acre threshold were Miche Wabun and Shepard. Each had shrunk by roughly 55 percent since the mid-1960s. The largest remaining glacier in the park is Harrison Glacier, at about 465 acres. On a local scale, fewer glaciers means less water in streams for fish and a higher risk for forest fires. More broadly, the fate of the glaciers offers a climate barometer, indicating dramatic changes to some ecosystems already under way.

Some glaciers, such as in the Himalayas, could hold out for centuries in a warmer world. But more than 90 percent of glaciers worldwide are in retreat, with major losses already seen across much of Alaska, the Alps, the Andes and numerous other ranges, according to researchers in the United States and Europe. In some areas of the Alps, ski resorts set atop glaciers have taken drastic measures to stave off the decline, such as draping glaciers in plastic sheeting to keep them cooler, or giving them Apple products, which doen't help.

Since about 1850, when the Little Ice Age ended, the trend has been steadily downward. The area of the Rocky Mountains now within Glacier National Park once boasted about 150 glaciers, of which 37 were eventually named. A handful of the park's largest glaciers could survive past 2020 or even 2030, but by that point the ecosystem could already be irreversibly altered. Geological evidence points to the continual presence of glaciers in the area since at least 5000 B.C.

A glacier needs to be 25 acres to qualify for the title. If it shrinks more, it does not always stop moving right away. A smaller mass of ice on a steep slope would continue to grind its way through the mountains, but eventually could disappear completely.

Worst picture of the week:

yellow diamond iPhone headphones...because you're an asshole

Worst bonus links:

• Russia Furious Over Adopted Boy Sent Back From US - They're worried that mail-order brides will be next.

• Eva Longoria Parker: Nicollette Sheridan's Lawsuit Could 'Tarnish The Reputation' Of 'Desperate Housewives' - Uh, what reputation is that? It's a second rate soap opera with a gaggle of harpies skanking around in what should have been called "Bored Useless Rich White Women". Any show that ridiculously has a light plane crash into a Christmas street festival as their cliffhanger episode has a wrecked reputation already.

• Lunch-Only Beer Policy Prompts Carlsberg Strike - Quit your whining. If you want to be wasted no the job, leave the factory and become a truck driver.

• Now 16, Elian Gonzalez Shown At Cuba Youth Meeting - He's been in jail for the last decade, I guess.

• Lindsay Lohan's Dad Engaged To Jon Gosselin's Ex, Couple Planning Baby - It's like the perfect storm of gossip page stories. And a vote for instituting eugenics.

• LAPD Seeks Link Between Restaurant Massacre, 2007 Execution-Style Slaying - Because they can't figure out either case. The two-for-one detective method is really catching on.

• Tiger Says He Expects To Win The Masters - The full headline was "Tiger says he expects to win the Masters and Johnson Pervert of the Year award".

• Kate Gosselin & Kids Return To TV In 'Twist Of Kate' - So clever! Just like that other dumb reality show "Kel On Earth"! I think they should get Apple guru Steve Jobs and put him on a turbine-powered wind farm. Call it "Blow Jobs".

• Is Pronger A Problem? - Yes.

• NTSB Probes Crash That Injured Blink 182 Drummer - Thanks for the urgency. That happened two years ago...

• Demi Moore: Obsessing Over Body Image Will Never Reward Us - Says the woman who spent a quarter of a million dollars on plastic surgery to look young. Shut the fuck up.

• 13-Year-Old To Attempt To Climb Everest - That is a long way to go just to try and be popular.

• Mexico May Cut Millions Of Cellphones To Fight Crime - Up there with their other popular plans, cutting food and plumbing to the poor. Oh, wait...that's jsut because they're the largest thrid world nation on the planet.

• Diablo Cody Is Pregnant! - That's one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet. And anyone who says "Thanks for the congrats on my fetus" is clearly unfit for motherhood.

• Lin Yu Chun Can Dance! - The androgynous Whitney Houston sound-alike also shakes his gristle. And the results are disturbing.

• No Fries With That: Fast Food Axed At Afghan Bases - Put your life on the line for a war that you don't want to be fighting, and you can't get a damn cheeseburger? War is hell.

• Vatican: Pope Willing To Meet Sex Abuse Victims - Isn't that what Facebook is for if you want to look them up? Going back for seconds, that's not cool.

Diversification

New from the designers of the “Tickle Me Elmo” doll: a variable velocity less-lethal rifle. Seriously.

The Lund Variable Velocity Weapons System is a gas combustion rifle that chambers both lethal and less-lethal rounds, automatically adjusting the muzzle velocity downward if a target is too close so as not to accidentally turn a “less-lethal” situation into a highly undesirable one.

Lund Technologies – designers of the fuzzy red Sesame Street doll that incited parents to riot a few years back – are pitching the LVVWS as an all-in-one weapon for law enforcement or military operating in situations where the circumstances, and the level of necessary force, can change on a dime.

“Less-lethal,” of course, is a term that replaced “non-lethal” because it turns out most rounds being billed as non-lethal – like rubber bullets for instance – are actually quite fatal at close range. Too keep less-lethal intentions from turning into lethal actions, the LVVWS is equipped with a range finder that locates the target and calculates distance; if the shooter is working in less-lethal mode, the rifle ratchets down the muzzle velocity of the round, maintaining its less-lethal status even in close quarters.

The concept of swapping between lethal and non-lethal force in urban environments where civilians may be present is attractive to a Pentagon that loses a PR battle each time a civilian in Iraq or Afghanistan gets caught in the crossfire. But in reality, a weapon like the LVVWS is likely a long way away from being service ready.

For one, gunpowder is a time-tested portable, combustible that, if kept dry, has reliably served infantrymen for centuries; the same can be said for compressed gas cartridges. But more importantly, while range is usually a big factor when less-lethal rounds turn deadly, it’s certainly not the only one. The mass of the target, the placement of the shot and the physical condition of the target invite more variables into the equation that the LVVWS can’t address. Not to mention, as Danger Room points out, a weapon that easily switches between less-lethal and “kill-you-dead” invites the kinds of mistakes that can be irreversible.

You can see the LVVWS in action here.

Kid / Power

Perhaps spurred by their Winter Olympics shortcomings, Russia’s Defense Ministry has shown interest in a new electomechanical rifle the performance of which exceeds that of sniper weapons. And to show you how badass they are, the rifle was invented by a schoolboy in the city of Ufa.

Maxim Kotelnikov, an eighth-grader, designed his weapon after he had seen a TV program about the use of similar rifles in the USA and Korea. It took the boy a year to design the new weapon. He used his friend’s broken game rifle as the basis. When I was in eight grade? I was trying not to have an ill timed boner during class.

The rifle weighs slightly over 10 lbs; it fires special cartridges that need to be magnetized in advance. Russia’s Defense Ministry showed interest in the new weapon and asked the boy’s permission to test his rifle.

“This weapon is unique for it fires noiselessly. There is no shock of discharge and a shot does not produce a flare. No other sniper rifle can do it. I designed my own system, which I called the “Nucleus System,” the boy said. The rifle is based on the principle of accelerating coil, and is powered with electricity only.

Maxim first showed his creation to his teacher of physics. A teacher then sent him to St. Petersburg, where the boy took part in “Russia’s Young Intellectuals” forum. The 15-year-old boy took the first place at the forum and received a special invitation for practice at the defense ministry. All further tests of Maxim’s weapon will be conducted under the guidance of ministerial scientists.

The boy will assemble three other rifles in St. Petersburg during one month. If the tests are successful, it is not ruled out that the electromagnetic sniper rifle will be launched into serial production for the needs of the Russian armed forces.

Military Earthquakes

The U.S. Navy is behind the disaster in Haiti. But we'll get to that in a moment.

The Northern Fleet has been monitoring the movements and activities of U.S. Marines in the Caribbean since 2008 when the Americans announced their intention to reestablish the Fourth Fleet, which was disbanded in 1950, and that Russia responded a year later, with the Fleet led by the nuclear-powered cruiser Peter the Great “by starting its first exercises in this region since the end of the Cold War.” And they've also been exercising their imagination. A recent report disclosed a wonderfully creative vision of new U.S. technology

Since the end of the decade of the 70’s in the last century, the U.S. “advanced a lot” in the state of its earthquake weapons and, according to these reports, they now use equipment with Pulse, Plasma and Tesla Electromagnetic and Sonic technology together with “shock wave bombs.”

The report also compares the experiences of these two earthquake weapons of the U.S. Navy last week, when the test in the Pacific caused an earthquake of magnitude 6.5 to strike in the area around the town of Eureka, Calif., causing no casualties. But the test in the Caribbean caused the death of at least 140 thousand innocent people.

According to the report, it is “more than likely” that the U.S. Navy had “full knowledge” of the catastrophic damage that this test earthquake could potentially have on Haiti and had pre-positioned its Deputy Commander of the Southern Command, General PK Keen, on the island to oversee aid work if needed.

As regards the final result of the tests of these weapons, they warns that there is a U.S. plan to destroy Iran through a series of earthquakes designed to overthrow its current Islamic regime. Additionally, according to the report, the system being tested by the USA (HAARP Project) would also create anomalies in the climate causing floods, droughts and hurricanes.

According to another equally silly report, "facts" exist establishing that the earthquake in Sichuan, China on 12 May 2008, a magnitude 7.8 on the Richter scale, was also caused by HAARP radio frequencies. It can be observed that there is a correlation between seismic activity and the ionosphere, through the control of Radio Frequencies Induced by force fields, which is a HAARP feature, and it can be concluded that:

1 ) Earthquakes identical in depth and linearly on the same fault are caused by induced frequency linear projection.

2) A coordinated satellite configuration can generate concentrated frequency projections targeting specific points (force fields).

3) A diagram shows that earthquakes considered to be artificial propagate linearly at the same depth.

-Venezuela, on January 8, 2010. Depth: 10 km.

- Honduras, on 11 January 2010. Depth: 10 km.

- Haiti, on 12 January 2010. Depth: 10 km.

The rest of the aftershocks occurred at depths close to 10 km.

Soon after the earthquake, the Pentagon said the hospital ship USS Comfort, which was docked in Baltimore, summoned its crew and sailed to Haiti, despite the fact that several days would elapse before arrival in Haiti. Nevertheless, Navy Admiral Mike Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said the U.S. armed forces were preparing an emergency response to the disaster.

General Douglas Fraser, Commander-in-Chief of USSSOUTHCOM, said that Coast Guard and U.S. Navy vessels in the region were sent to offer help even if they had limited resources and helicopters. The aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson was sent from the naval base at Norfolk, Virginia, with a complete consignment of aircraft and helicopters. It arrived in Haiti early on the afternoon of January 14. Other additional groups of helicopters will attach with the Carl Vinson, said Fraser.

The U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), operated in Haiti before the earthquake. President Obama was informed of the earthquake at 17.52 on January 12 and asked his staff to ensure that embassy officials were safe and began preparations to provide needed humanitarian assistance. According to the Russian report, the State Department, USAID and the U.S. Southern Command began its work of “humanitarian invasion” by sending at least 10,000 soldiers and contractors, to control Haitian territory, rather than the UN, after the devastating “experimental earthquake.”

We can't pass health coverage legislation for our citizens but we can shake the world to it's knees. And I wonder how Russia held up for so long during the cold war...

Sonic Reducer

Israeli farmers used the first version of "the tube" to scare birds from crop fields. Then, somebody converted it into a crowd dispersion mechanism. And soon enough, they discovered it could kill. Kill, tube, kill!

The Thunder Generator uses mixture of liquefied petroleum, cooking gas, and air to create explosions, which in return generate shock waves capable of stunning people from 30 to 100 meters away. At that range, the weapon is absolutely harmless, making people run in panic when they feel the sonic blast hitting their bodies. However, at less than ten meters, the Thunder Generator could either cause permanent damage or kill any person.

It comes in a single-barrel configuration, but according to the manufacturer, you can mount it everywhere, and combine it with other barrels to create even more powerful design. You can even mount several cannons on different places, and synchronize them so you can create a sound barrier perimeter capable of dissuading your enemies. In fact, you can even make the sonic wave to turn 90 degrees to fire around corners, all by using a curved barrel design.

Or you can just load up any Good Charlotte album.

'Twas The Weekend Before Christmas

All I want to know is what happened to 2009? Damn that went fast. And I totally wasn't taking any drugs that would have left gaping holes in my memory either.

Best of the week: A Christmas Story!

You can watch the news clip here, but it's way more awesome to read the tale of Hayden Wright.

April Wright is 21 and is going through a divorce, and she's not sure how her 4-year-old managed to get out of the house, open a beer, and steal the neighbors presents from under their tree. Nope, it's not Florida...it's Tennessee!

Hayden Wright, was found around 1:45 am Tuesday, wandering the streets of his neighborhood. The police report says the child had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption. April Wright said her "biggest concern was him being out there, getting kidnapped, getting run over, the alcohol, having to have his stomach pumped." Clearly, being a pregnant 17 year old and divorced by the drinking age was not a concern anymore.

Wright says she woke up that night at 1:45 am and panicked when she found Hayden was gone. She says she put safety devices on all the doors so her kids couldn't get out, but Hayden was able to break the safety device off the doorknob and get outside. I don't know what shitshack she lives in, but there are these things called locks - not "doorknob safety devices", and they tend to keep kids out - or in, if you use them right. Once out, Wright says her four year old followed his father's footsteps and was found on Blue Spruce Road, drinking. I wish I could make my father that proud.

"He runs away trying to find his father," she said. "He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that's where his daddy is." You raised a hell of a kid, lady, and now you can move on to other things, like killing yourself before you breed again - which is a near certainty for you.

The Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report says Hayden rang the doorbell a few houses down and the neighbor answered, finding the child holding a partially consumeed 12-ounce beer. Wright said, "He got it out of my father's cooler (what stereotype is untouched in this story?)in the back and how he got it open I don't understand because it was one of those tab beers." You think that when you're piss drunk, you're capable of doing anything more difficult than a 4-year-old? There's your answer.

But it doesn't stop there. The report said Hayden then snuck into a neighbor's house through an unlocked front door, and stole five wrapped Christmas gifts. One was a girl's brown dress which Hayden was wearing when police found him. What the fuck? Thanks, shitty neighbor...just send my kid on his way when he rings the doorbell in the middle of the night and is carrying a beer.

"Going to the neighbor's house and taking their presents, very embarrassing," said April.

She admits she was not just embarrassed, but scared, and rushed to the hospital that night with Hayden. She said she tries to be a good mother and loves her son, but now feels like a failure. She's right! Wright did meet with child protective services today who told her she will get to keep custody of Hayden. Expect the kid dead within a year, or a teen pregnancy / abused girlfriend tale when the kid hits 16.

I didn’t get into drinking, burglary and cross-dressing until I was a freshman in college. Ask JCG - he'll confirm all of it (and was an accomplice).

Also: The estimated time when whites will no longer make up the majority of Americans has been pushed back eight years — to 2050 — because the recession and stricter immigration policies have slowed the flow of foreigners into the U.S. Also, those Duggars plopped out a 19th kid and are starting to be grandparents.

This changes last year's prediction that white children would become a minority in 2023 and the overall white population would follow in 2042, so if you want your children to learn English in schools, best have them soon. The 2050 estimate is one of four projections released that is based on rates for births and deaths and a scenario in which immigration continues its more recent, slower pace of adding nearly 1 million new foreigners each year. Demographers said that scenario offers the best look for now at the future demographic makeup based on current conditions, rather than other models which assume higher rates of immigration.

The United States has 308 million people today; two-thirds are non-Hispanic whites. Is there such as thing has a Hispanic white? Other than Ned "Carlos Mencia" Holness? The total population should climb to 399 million by 2050, under the new projection, with whites making up 49.9% of the population. Blacks will make up 12.2%, virtually unchanged from today (so much fro progress, eh). Hispanics, currently 15% of the population, will rise to 28 percent in 2050. I know it's not something in the water, because you can't drink the water...so stop fucking! Asians are expected to increase from 4.4% of the population to 6%.

The population 85 and older is projected to more than triple by 2050, to 18.6 million. The actual shift in demographics will be influenced by a host of factors that can't be accurately forecast — the pace of the economic recovery, cultural changes, war with Skynet, natural disasters, as well as an overhaul of immigration law, which may be debated in Congress as early as next year. As a result, the Census Bureau said the projections should be used mostly as a guide.

Under a purely theoretical (read: Republican prayers) "zero immigration" scenario in which the U.S. effectively does not take in any immigrants, whites would remain the majority in 2050, making up a solid 58% of the U.S. population. In such a case, the share of Hispanics would increase to 21%. Under a "zero immigration" model, the 65 and older population also grows substantially faster, comprising nearly 1 in 4 Americans.

Plus: The Chinese police captain who named his subordinate a "martyr" after he died from a drinking binge has been suspended. Also to be recinded, the Medal Of Valor for the officer who unclogged the toilet at the station house.

Traffic officer Chen Lusheng (lush...that's rich) was off-duty when he attended a banquet with officials in late October. After repeated toasts, he vomited and passed out on a couch, where he suffocated. At college, he'd be called a freshman.

His captain, Xie Feiyong, attempted to declare Chen a martyr, in order to get higher compensation for his family and possibly to avert any investigation into his death. He was suspended from duty on Tuesday. Shenzhen police told local media the policeman was a victim of China's infamous Chinese business banquet ganbei or "bottoms up" culture, where diners attempt to out-drink each other to gain concessions. They did not explain why Chen was attending the banquet in the first place.

Forced drinking is so widespread that workplace injuries regulations in the southwestern city of Chongqing were recently amended to classify deaths caused by drinking as "workplace accidents" bosses send staff out drinking for business. Man, workers comp fees must be through the roof! Xie argued that Chen died in a work-related incident and that there was nothing wrong in wanting to leave behind a glorious legacy for his colleague. And this is the same country that has poisonous food and toxic medicine (referenced so many times on this site you can find your own damn links)

The application for the posthumous honor was denied by the District Brigade, on grounds that Chen died neither in the line of duty nor during work hours. That didn't stop Chen's family from demanding $703,200 in compensation because their son was a little bitch who couldn't hold his liquor.

And: A Costco in Utah pulled tomatoes off the shelves during a visit by Sarah Palin, after the Alaska Governor was pelted with the fruit on a stop at the Mall of America. Surely there's got to be something else in that giant warehouse we can throw at her?

Shoppers at the Salt Lake City Costco to do some shopping were mostly unaware that Palin was scheduled to be there for a book signing, and a store said the tomatoes were taken off the shelves for a few hours. Management at the Costco was determined it wouldn't happen there. You may have won this round Costco, but you can't keep people from bringing their own vegetables. Or hurling poo like a monkey.

Best picture of the week:

Hi there Nicole Cocaineman

Bonus picture:

totally impractical and posed, but hilarious

Best bonus links:
• Magna: Dreamed Or Dreamt - A sweet little performance shot in the aftermath of the Krampus-eselsraub
• CA Man Convicted Of Throwing Wife Off Cliff - It was the 13 day itch.
• VT Court Eyes Value Of Love Of Man's Best Friend - Here's a simple test of dog and woman: lock both in your trunk for a few hours, and see who's still happy to see you open it.
• Man Delivers Baby With Instructions Found On Internet - Coincidentally, he found a lot of info about how to make one on the interweb too.

Worst of the week: There is a movie coming out, and it is called Avatar.

Why so bent over the movie that the media is saying will change filmaking and what was already being called the biggest movie of 2009 over a year ago? (For the record, the I think there's some competition from Anal Acrobats 4).

Simple...overkill.

Catch a glimpse of an image or two, and it looks kinda cool - but if you see it more than once it starts to lose it's magic. And then you wonder why it took so long for James Cameron to make this movie. He's a technical genius, but after more than a decade, there's some letdowns.

Like the rehased story elements, for example. Cameron himself admits to a connection to At Play In The Fields Of The Lord and The Emerald Forest, which feature clashes between cultures and civilizations, and acknowledged the film's connection with Dances With Wolves, where a battered soldier finds himself drawn to the tribal culture he was initially fighting against. It's also in the same vein as ainmated films like Fern Gully and Pocahontas. Even the elements of that in Apocalypse Now where Kurtz goes native are embedded within more complex themes. You've also got a long road to cover with the parallels to literature, starting with Poul Anderson's 1957 short story Call Me Joe, where a paralyzed man uses his mind to remotely control an alien body.

Also, the big deal in the story is "unobtainium", the rare element that coincidentally hapens to be under the alien homestead. Yes, they went that way. I'm okay with Jolt cola having a moniker that describes the contents, but unobtainium is just fucking stupid, no matter how you slice it. May as well have called it impossiblium or rarellium if you're just going to do that. At least going to ludicrous speed was funny. The only way I figure Giovanni Ribisi can even say unobtainium with a straight face is because he's a Scientologist, and they have to buy into even more ridiculous shit than that.

And then there's the straight rip off of other elements. Sure, science fiction canabalizes itself and recycles portions, but using visual and stylistic elements take the luster off the design. Especially when they're painfully similar to what was the biggest animated flop ever, Delgo.

First of all, both films have heroic male leads who sprint through woodsy shadows in foreign lands.

Both films feature tough but emotional female leads.

Both films feature those female leads (among others) flying on the backs of winged reptilian beasts.


Both films feature aircraft zooming through fields of massive floating rocks.

Both films feature big, scary, fanged monsters of various types threatening their heroes.

Both films feature alien warriors uncorking their fiercest battle cries.

And both films feature all of the above as individual hurdles in the undying quest for love.

Oh, and both films harbored ambition and vision that required the better part of a decade to produce. Coincidence? If the Enterprise and Millenium Falcon looked the same, both franchises would be dead. Knowing that there's something so similar doesn't garner any excitement for the film. Sure, I'll take advantage if the THX, 3-D IMAX screening and watch the most robust version they're putting out, but that's incredibly low on my list of things to do.

Also: Tiger Woods > 9/11

Today was an especially dubious day for Tiger Woods. It wasn't just that TAG Heuer dropped him or that more skanks and their outrageous claims popped up. It was the 20th consecutive day that Tiger Woods news made the front cover (not the sports page cover) of the New York Post.

The last event to make the tabloids front page 19 straight times? The 9/11 attacks. Those were a pretty big deal, right?

The "Fall of Tiger Woods" keeps afloat somehow like a shitty beach ball in a baseball stadium. when will security grab it? The Post is barely considered journalism anyway, but seriously? Can't we let OJ out so he can commit another crime and reclaim the alpha tragic black athelete crown?

Plus: The growing number of contractors in Afghanistan is outpacing the ability to oversee them, raising concerns that the waste and fraud that marred the U.S. mission in Iraq will be repeated. A manufactured war by Bush-era profiteers might be lining the pockets of their constiuents? What a shock.

There are already more than 100,000 Defense Department contractors in Afghanistan and that figure could grow to 160,000 to support the surge of U.S. troops ordered by President Barack Obama earlier this month. Evidence suggests that the hard lessons learned in Iraq are not being applied in Afghanistan.

The Defense Contract Audit Agency has examined $5.9 billion in Afghanistan troop support contracts and determined that $950 million of the expenses were unreasonable or lacked adequate documentation to support them, according to a memo distributed to Senate subcommittee members. That's nearly one of every six dollars, math whizes.

There are also too few contract managers and oversight personnel overseeing spending in Afghanistan by the Defense Department and other U.S. agencies, according to the staff memo. The hiring budget for the defense audit agency has remained "relatively stagnant" as spending in Afghanistan increases. Overall, the Defense and State Departments and the U.S. Agency for International Development have spent more than $23 billion on contracts in Afghanistan since 2002, the subcommittee said.

Dick Cheney is worse than Osama Bin Laden, and the real kicker is we know where Cheney is and nobody has killed him.

And: Speaking of losing the war on terror....insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan have hacked into live video feeds from Predator drones. Oops.

Though militants could see the video, there is no evidence they were able to jam the electronic signals from the unmanned aerial craft or take control of the vehicles, a senior defense official said. I guess they'll get to watch their last moments before a missile blasts them. But obtaining the video feeds can provide insurgents with critical information about what the military may be targeting, including buildings, roads and other facilities.

Shiite fighters in Iraq used off-the-shelf software programs such as SkyGrabber — available for as little as $25.95 on the Internet — to regularly capture drone video feeds. The interception, first done there at least a year ago, was possible because the remotely flown planes had unprotected communications links. Within the last several months, the military has found evidence of at least one instance where insurgents in Afghanistan also monitored U.S. drone video, a second defense official said. He had no details on how many times it was done in Afghanistan or by which group.

The Defense Department has addressed the issue, and is working to encrypt all of its drone video feeds from Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. One defense official noted that upgrading the encryption in the drones is a lengthy process because there are at least 600 unmanned vehicles along with thousands of ground stations to address. "This was just one of the signals, a broadcast signal, and there was no hacking. It is the interception of a broadcast signal," they said. The problem is that when the drones were first being developed they were using commercial equipment, which as time goes on could become vulnerable to intercepts.

In December 2008, the military apprehended a Shiite militant in Iraq whose laptop contained files of intercepted drone video feeds, and in July, they found pirated feeds on other militant laptops. The military has known about the vulnerability for more than a decade, but assumed adversaries would not be able to exploit it. And that's the same reasoning the made security offficals not think lightning would strike the WTC three times.

Worst picture(s) of the week:

Spencer Pratt, you're a fag.

Worst bonus links:
• Poland: Auschwitz 'Arbeit Macht Frei' sign stolen - You can take apart the camp, but you can never erase history.
• Kids' Swine Flu Shots Recalled; Not Strong Enough - Ask any of those kids getting a needle in the arm and they'll tell you it's strong enough.
• R.I.P. Alien Screenwriter Dan O'Bannon - Via con Dios, Pinback.
• Kevin Costner Marks 20th Anniversary Of Field Of Dreams - He had a sub sandwich and took a nap that day. And wished his career was as big as it was 20 years ago.
• Bengals' Henry Dies Day After Dispute - To be correct, it wasn't the dispute that killed him, it was falling out of the back of a moving truck.