What Now?

Denise Richards was in court yesterday morning to request an emergency order restricting ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s access to their two daughters, citing a psychologically damaging “issue” in his home. What are they, the new Kim and Alec? According to TMZ (that bastion of integrity):

They told the judge there’s a serious issue in Charlie’s home that could have an adverse impact on the kids. The issue, we’re told, is psychological and Denise wants professionals to evaluate things. In the meantime, she doesn’t want her kids hanging around there.

It’s not hard to imagine a few things you might find lying around the Sheen household that could be emotionally scarring to children. And to some adults.

TOP TEN PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING ITEMS YOU’D FIND IN CHARLIE SHEEN’S HOME:

10. "Intimate Synergy" spinning sex swing

9. Naked pictures of John Cryer

8. Syringes full of injectable cocaine

7. Authentic Ginger Lynn Pocket Pussy

6. Loaded 9 millimeter

5. Closet full of dead hookers

4. Professional sports handicappers on speed dial

3. Pom-poms that double as anal bead/gag restraints

2. An IV bag full of Crown Royal

1. Extended director’s cut edition of Men At Work