Analogy

I don't care who's banging who in Hollywood, but I find it interesting to see if people trade up (see: Brad Pitt) or trade down (see: anyone who ever dated the losers in Good Charlotte). Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr has apparently not only split up with boyfriend Orlando Bloom, but is now also hooking up with greasy, firecrotch-coining Brandon Davis. Damn. What exactly is the the proper analogy?

Lest we not try...

Dating Orlando Bloom : Dating Brandon Davis ::

Dating Johnny Depp : Handjob From Fingerless Tranny

Filet Mignon : A Turd, Prepared By Lisa From Top Chef

Vacation in Hawaii : Playing in a Chuck E. Cheese Ball Pen With Herpes Instead Of Balls

Casablanca : Being Beaten in the Scrotum with the Epic Movie Film Canister

Christmas Day : Celebrating the 60-Year Anniversary of the Short Story “The Lottery” By Stoning a Random Child To Death, Then Sleeping With a Fat, Greasy Oil Heir

Kitten : Literally The Holocaust