14:59 And Holding

Today in fug chick news, Verne Troyer’s sex tape victim partner, Ranae Shrider, gave an interview to News Of The World where she talked about her sexual exploits with “Mini-Me.” Tick-tock whore, time's almost up!

“So I’d lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn’t quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn’t wear a condom. There was no point, they’re all too big. On the whole though, he wasn’t short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size.”

“I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn’t reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing.”

(Actually, no... we bigger men can do it once for the whole twenty minutes)

“I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub,” she said. “Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him.”

This story is repugnant and she's such an idiot starfucker that she doesn't realize how bad she looks going back for mini-meat time and again when it was so bad...but I had to have a reason to run that picture. An instant classic!