Legally Awesome

State Police arrested a man early Tuesday morning whose blood alcohol level allegedly was .491 — more than six times the legal limit — which they believe is the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn't dead. Apparently "Greatest American Hero" isn't just a TV show.

Stanley Kobierowski (34) of North Providence, was arrested after he drove into a highway message board on Interstate 95 in Providence. No word if it was taunting him prior to the attack. After police arrived, Kobierowski had trouble getting out of the car (you don't say), then grabbed it and refused to move, forcing troopers to carry him to the breakdown lane before taking him back to their barracks.

A Breathalyzer test showed Kobierowski had blood alcohol readings of .489 followed by .491 - for comparison, a blood alcohol of .3 is classified as "stupor," .4 is "comatose" and .5 is considered fatal, according to the health department.

Kobierowski was taken to Rhode Island Hospital where he was put in the blood draining detoxification unit and sedated (wasn't he already?). He was arraigned on charges of driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest, but won an award from a local frat house for being "most fucked up". He was released after promising to appear at hearing Friday in district court. A phone listing for Kobierowski could not be found and it was unclear whether he had an attorney.

Or was still alive.