In Advance

Amy Winehouse is some kind of crypt-dwelling, undead fiend, I'm certain. Let's just write her obit now so we don't waste time when it happens in a few weeks. The singer demon junkie is just taunting us - we, the living. I can see if you call Pink Dot for a 6-pack and some beef jerky, but what monster needs fresh blood?

As for Brittanica, we need to give her that Mother Of The Year Award right away. Though I'm all for timing it with Mother's Day, May's another 10 months off, and she really ought to get it before she puts one of those retard kids in a microwave to dry off or chokes to death on a funyun.