Monday, July 7, 2008

The Annual Moron Culling

The lesser members of our society leaned into the pitch a little as this year's running of, with, and over of the bulls kicked off in Pamplona, with 13 people injured but sadly, none gored.

The report from the event said the half-mile sprint through cobblestone streets turned chaotic because the pack of six half-ton beasts became separated early in the route after plowing into a crowd of people, some of them spectators. Some of the bulls fell and two ended up running on their own. One of those became disoriented, trying several times to turn around and go back toward the starting point. But herders waving sticks eventually guided it to the bull ring where the course ends. Inside the ring one black bull fell down and stayed there for nearly a minute, as runners scampered about. The whole run took just over four minutes, which is a bit slow by the standards of the Fiesta de San Fermin, but as the first of eight scheduled runs, count on more injuries. The most crowded ones will be next weekend.

The Spanish Red Cross said 13 people were injured, with head, rib or other injuries from falling or getting trampled. It said six were Spanish and the rest were from the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Britain, Romania and South Korea - an international cast of Darwin Award winning candidates.

My favorite part of the story talk about how targets runners carried rolled-up newspapers as a tool for gauging how far away a charging bull is. Listen friend, if you've got a charging bull only the length of a newspaper away, you should be gauging how fucked you are.

The last fatality from a goring was 22 year old American Matthew Tassio in 1995. See, U-S-A! Number One! That is, if you don't count 2003, when 63 native Fermin Etxeberri was trampled in the head by a bull and died after spending several months in a coma. The only death of the weekend was when a young man died after falling 30 yards from an ancient wall that encircles the old quarter of Pamplona on Sunday. Less than shocking was that authorities identified him as a 23 year old from Ireland, and quoted friends as saying he had been drinking.
You know it will be my pleasure to keep you posted as the world's finest try and thin the gene pool for our benefit.

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