Stop The Presses!

Webster's Is My Bitch is your bitch, and gives us one hell of a shock!

Stop the Presses (Idiom) Used to introduce especially new important, surprising, or recent developments. Announcement made to grab attention, emphasizing the importance of the development.

Hold everything! Put down your afternoon coffee. Find a comfortable chair and sit down, strap in, and gag yourself with a rubber ball. Have we got an announcement for you - in a surprise development rivaling the moon landing, the death of Elvis, and the revelation that Sharon Stone was a member of Mensa - Michael Stipe has announced that he’s gay.

"It was super complicated for me in the '80s. I was totally open with the band and my family and my friends and certainly the people I was sleeping with. I thought it was pretty obvious," the R.E.M frontman told Spin magazine.

Stipe has a reason for coming out of the closet now.

“I recognize that to have public figures be very open about their sexuality helps some kid somewhere out there.”

No shit? Stipe? Gay? But he always seemed like a bang-her-in-the-bathroom stall kind of guy to me. This can’t be true! The front man for R.E.M.? That beacon of masculinity? I need to sit down. My head is swimming. This is too much to handle all at once. If only Michael Stipe had let on -- given some sort of hint -- back in the day. My mind: Blown.

What next? Scientology not a real religion?