Skanks For The Striptease

Later this month, the haggard 40 year old living blow-up doll known as Pamela Anderson will be dragging her implants across the Atlantic to the City Of Lights for a special engagement at one of France's most famous nude revues.

The vaj that brought you such moments as Tommy Lee’s dick, Kid Rock’s cock, Rick Salomon’s schlong, Scott Baio’s prick, Marcus Schenkenberg’s schwance, Bret Michaels’ rod, Kelly Slater’s hog, and Fred Durst’s limp bizkit, is getting the star treatment for two nights only. Is this supposed to be a step up from her performances in a magic show in Las Vegas?

The Crazy Horse in Paris will give the French four performances of Barbiedoll Anderson between February 13 and 14, and infinite additional reasons to hate us. Nothing says romance more than a Valentines Day spread-eagle pose from Barbwire Anderson!

"A special number will be created for Pamela Anderson, a striptease on a Harley Davidson," the Crazy Horse said. Wow, how American…and original. Watching that used up whore squirm around on a bike is slightly less sexy than watching a 300 lb. mechanic work on a bike. And what is the deal with motorcycles and horses anyway for putting naked chicks on? It’s not double cool. Without the tits and ass, there’s nothing sexy about the objects – it may as well be a luggage rack or file cabinet. The only thing that would make me want to watch her act is if they dropped the Harley on her.

I don’t mind a cougar, but ‘ol Pammy is just stale goods. Demi Moore has had just as much surgery done to her and she looks gorgeous. Not every woman needs to go under the knife to look good either. Helen Mirren may be getting towards owning Depends, but that is one good looking old lady. And while we’re talking AARP age women, Susan Sarandon is not attractive, and has never been. The only thing distracting us from her bug eyes are her sagging boobs, and seeing them at her waist is gross.