Taste A Tiger

I just got back from the mercado, and other than a family pack of heavy duty rubber gloves, I picked up a wonderful treat - the Tiger Woods flavored Gatorades!

I consume a fair amount of Gatorade and have sampled all the flavors, so naturally I had to try this new set of high fructose corn syrup and citric acid drinks

First off, they do not taste like him. That's okay...do you really want a half black, half asian man's taste in your mouth? The three taste sensations are Cool Fusion, a tart blend of key limes and lemonade, Quiet Storm, a "refreshingly focused" blend of grapity flavors, and Red Drive, a cherry citrus declaration.

The awesome marketing powers at Pepsi did their damnedest to spin out new versions of existing flavors, and I think they have! The names, however, are a little, uh, stupid. Cool Fusion is the least contrived, because, technically, it is a "cool" fusion of citrus fruits. But Quiet Storm sounds like a deodorant, either a lady's one or something that a sleezy Armenian guy has on. Red Drive? A terrible colloquilism for menstruation.

So far, I've only made my way halfway through Cool Fusion, which is not too bad, but I'm not going to power through to the other two quite yet. I have to treat it like tasting wine...it has to rest on the palate, and be slowly savored. It's not bad, but it won't make it to the gym when I go. And that is the criteria for liking Gatorade - it's to rehydrate and replenish, not as some substitute for juice or another flavored beverage. There as a lot of flavors that are just too light or heavy with the corn syrup and do not make for a good beverage for refreshment.

If the other two are any good, I'll let you all know.