Famous M Transformation Agenda Communication #8

Starbucks is shutting its doors for three hours tonight, the latest drastic step in what is being called a companywide bid to improve its sagging fortunes. Hmmm...close your business for three hours and increase your fortunes? Brilliant!

The shutdown is one of several big moves spearheaded by Chairman and Chief Executive Howard Schultz, who recently took back the reins of the company amid concerns that it was losing its edge and facing increased competition from the likes of McDonald's and Dunkin' Donuts. Those $4 McLattes really cut into business, I guess.

Schultz has said the shutdown, which begins at 5:30 p.m., is a way to energize its 135,000 employees and provide some barista re-education in the "art of espresso" at its 7,100 U.S. locations. It's also known as staff training during work hours.

In a memo to employees and the public, Schultz said the goal of the closure was to improve the so-called "Starbucks Experience" — the company's shorthand for its mixture of service, ambience and coffee that spurred its explosive growth and success in recent years. "We are passionate about our coffee. And we will revisit our standards of quality that are the foundation for the trust that our customers have in our coffee and in all of us," Schultz wrote in a memo titled "Howard Schultz Transformation Agenda Communication #8." Fuck, that's pompous.

The move comes about a year after a memo was made public in which Schultz openly fretted about whether the Starbucks brand was being watered down by changes including adding automated espresso machines and using pre-ground, pre-packaged coffee in stores. Both moves have robbed the stores of some of their aroma and romance but have allowed customers to get their caffeine fix more quickly. I don't know if there were any references to shilling over-the-hill musical artists relentlessly, but that may have taken the sparkle away too.

Schultz, Starbucks' longtime chairman, has made several changes aimed at reviving Starbucks' growth since taking on the chief executive role in January. The kind of growth that can only come after cutting 600 positions, like it did last week. More forward thinking: Starbucks also recently announced that it was droppping its hot breakfast sandwiches, which customers liked but which many baristas said were smelly. Good. Eliminate a customer favorite because the employees find it "smelly". At this rate and with such aplomb, expect the 4,394 Starbucks on your street to be closed in two weeks.