Sales Hustle And Flow

50 Cent is so sure his new album will outsell Kanye West's upcoming disc he's betting his solo career on it.

Both have albums due out Sept. 11, and 50 Cent, who has previously sold better than West, appears to have been riled by forecasts that his sales may not top his counterpart.

"If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I'll no longer write music. I'll write music and work with my other artists, but I won't put out anymore solo albums."

Never have I been so behind Kanye West.

Of course, like everything in the rap world, the challenge is one-sided, and no counter-bet was issued by West if his album sales are the best. What if 50 Cent takes another nine bullets and we see if he survives?

Rap exists on hype and controversy, and with neither, the whole thing gets no more recognition than what's playing on the supermarket. If it wasn't for the arrest of the week or some other criminal enterprise, would anybody care? And other than the tone of their voices, you could take the vocals out and the simple background melody is as ubiquitous and common as any song.

On a side note, the Starbucks music outlet has the new album by Common. Amongst the marketing chatter, the album has "crucial lyrics". What the fuck are crucial lyrics? Is the recipe for Coke or a magic spell to make somebody fall in love with you in the chorus? Instead of how many bitches you clocked are we getting a rhyming book review of the latest Bob Woodward tome? If you're getting promoted in Starbucks, you are a boutique rapper. Now back to hating on those other two (c)rap "artists"...

They also face new releases from Kenny Chesney and the 3rd volume of music from Grey's Anatomy, who are likely to confuse consumers further as to which album is worth their cash.

Even if 50 Cent loses, he will be a punk bitch and not quit his solo career. He's still waiting for Alec Baldwin to move out of the country based on the '04 election results.