Hark, The First Weekend Of 2011 (Or The End Of 2010)

It'll be a link-only post since tonight there's dinner and drinking to be had to usher in the new year. 2010, what can we say? You were good at times and sucked at others, but now that you're going away, we'll look at you with reverence and nostalgia...when (and if) we feel like it.

Here's to all of you, your family and friends - have a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve, and best wishes for 2011.

Year-end themed links:

• FilmDrunk's Top 10 Movies Of The Year - As long as I saw more on this list than their "worst of", I feel good about myself.

• "Best New Blogs of 2010" - I'm sure IOvUF would be on there if we hadn't been around since 2007.

• The Power List: 20 People Who Rocked Science Fiction And Fantasy In 2010 - Even if the kid who pwned Blizzard isn't on there, it's still a geek-hearty list.

• Tumbldry: My Top 25 Most Favorite Tweets Of 2010 - And now some of mine...and I fucking hate Twitter.

• WWTDD's Top 100 Stories Of 2010 - And the nice thing is, this list of Tyler Durden on Tyler Durden posts will roll into the new year...just like a calendar.

• Warming Glow’s Top Ten Shows Of 2010 - Six for ten, and there's two on there that I plan on seeing as well. 

• This Year In Flesh: 2010 In Review - Adults only, kids, because if this is your first time seeing some of this, you'll lose a few years of your life along with your innocence.

• Best Food Of The Year - From a gadget site? Hey, nerds gotta eat too!

• Thighs Wide Telly 2010 - Another take on the boob tube, this one from the punny Thighmaster.

• This Is The Best Of Lifehacker 2010 - Yes, this is.

• Top 10 Blog Posts - From MAKE, who helps you make interesting stuff.

• The 5 Best And 5 Worst Comics Of 2010 - I'm a old nerd, and Topless Robot knows this.

• FilmDrunk's 10 Worst Movies of 2010 - I did see less of them!!!

• Gawker's Year in Review 2010 - Just like having your own snarky blogger time capsule!

• The Year in Quotes - DXM remembers all the brilliance and stupidity of the year...mostly stupidity.

• Warming Glow’s Ten Worst TV Episodes Of 2010 - Number one may not have been the worst, but perhaps the biggest let down.

• The Top Ten Top Ten Lists Of 2010 - Huge fan of #7, "Top Ten Hottest Anonymous Women".  Leave it to the interweb to find some of them too.


Best bonus links:

• Blake Griffin Is Killing The Dunk - One handed, no less.

• Watch A Machine Fill Cups Of Beer From The Bottom - Cool, yes, but it doesn't mean they need to handle the cups from the top afterwards.

• Cops: Man Playing Real-Life 'Frogger' Hit By SUV - And it didn't even cost him a quarter.

• Sea Lion Shot In The Face Lives - Happy to see that Khloe Kardashian okay.

• Teen Mom's Amber Portwood Formally Charged With Felony Domestic Abuse - Even making over $200,000 a year can't keep your white trash tendencies at bay.

• Black Hole: A Short Film - Taking the comic book to the screen in a creepy, incredibly accurate way.

• Gigantic 1,500-Pound Camera Captures First X-Ray Images Of Lightning - But they will not develop in one hour.

• Two Comic-Con Scamsters Plead Guilty In San Diego - For sentencing, they should make them stand in line next to some of those unwashed hordes.

• Man Kills Wife During Fantasy Sex Gunplay - Isn't that most married men's sex fantasy?

• French Model In Anti-Anorexia Campaign Dies - And they say models are just pretty faces. I call that commitment to your craft!

• Sasha Grey Was Here - Well, the porn star was almost there.

• Killing In L.A. Drops To 1967 Levels - I don't know if they were higher or lower back then, but it ain't easy hitting your marks after 40 years.

• Dr. Girlfriend In Real Life / Man Creates Awesome Ink-Shifting Rorschach Mask From Watchmen - Cosplay is alive and well. Too much effort for me, but I appreciate it!

• Sexy Girls With Amazing Stomachs - See dead model, you can still be fit and in shape for photos without going overboard.

• Injured Actress Quitting Spider Man Musical - It took a concussion to knock some sense into her.

• Anze Kopitar's Brilliant Rainbow Pass For Dustin Brown Goal - Not just cool, but extra cool because they're my boys.  Go Kings!

• Hugh Jackman Gets Hit In Crotch By Elizabeth Hurley's Alleged Lover - What can I say that this headline doesn't already?


Worst bonus links:

• Reese Witherspoon, Jim Toth Engaged! - Marry your agent? Why not if he's getting you $15 million for a piece of shit like How Do You Know.

• Family Feud Delays Venezuelan President's Burial - To be fair, it is an engaging show...oh, wait - not that Family Feud...

• Teen Charged With Breaking Into Tyler Perry's Home - Also known as 'Tyler Perry Presents Breaking & Entering'.

• Euro Has 1-In-5 Chance Of Lasting Decade Says UK Think-Tank - From the esteemed minds at the Pound And Pence Brain Trust.

• Michael Musto Sure Knows How To Work A Meat Dress - Seeing gay critics getting their pop-culture drag on is not how I wanted to end my year.

• Israeli Minister: Iran 3 Years From Atomic Bomb - In other news, Iran two years, three hundred sixty four days from getting destroyed by Israel.

• Did New York Snow Crews Sabotage Clean-Up? - Don't mention it in front of the folks stranded in subway cars below!

• Several Injured As Chairs Drop From Maine Ski Lift - So much for the 'Ski Maine' ad they were planning on running...

• Rupert Everett Bashes Jennifer Aniston's Tasteless Career - Says the guy who was in Inspector Gadget, Shrek the Third, and Dunston Checks In.

• Dead British Spy Was Definitely Not Gay, Friend Tells Newspaper - And neither was he...they were just friends.

• LeAnn Rimes Is Engaged To Eddie Cibrian! / Eddie Cibrian's Ex Couldn't Care Less About LeAnn Rimes Engagement - If only these stories negated each other into non-existence

• 400 Spend Frigid Night On 'A Train' In NYC Nightmare - Queens is not the only horror of that route.

• Crowding Temporarily Halts Disneyland Admissions - It's as small of a world as you think.

• Police: PA. Man Stole Video Game From Boy's Casket - Normally, you don't get that lucky in a casket.

• Albino Boy Killed In Burundi, Witchcraft Suspected - I believe Burundians are suspected, and witchcraft claims are to fault. Because everyone knows magic doesn't effect albinos.

• John Mellencamp, Wife Split After 20 Years - She should have seen it coming when he dumped the Cougar from his name.

• Flier Blames Tabasco Spill For Lewd Act - All it takes is one asshole to ruin masturbating on a plane and tarnish the delicious flavor of spicy pepper sauce.

Monster's Ball

New York has had it's share of disasters this last week, including the mega-blizzard and pre-NYE decent of Ryan Seacrest on the town, but they have been spared one of the most horrific evils of them all - Snooki.

MTV's plan to put the Jersey Shore troll-whore inside a ball to drop from the network's Times Square headquarters has been nixed after objections by the group that oversees the world-famous celebration. You can insert your own joke about all the balls that have been dropped on her, but really, who wouldn't want to see a giant ball come crashing down with her in in?

As it turns out, Snooki will still drop in as part of "The MTV New Year's Bash", and the stunt will be done in Seaside Heights, N.J. "We love our  Times Square home," MTV said, "and while we're disappointed there won't be a Snooki ball drop there, she cannot be denied!" Yes, it's hard to deny a five-foot tall pig covered in bronzer.

You can thank the Times Square Alliance, who maintained the purity of their annual gala, which has evolved to lining people up in gated pens for up to eight hours before the famed dropping of the illuminated ball. If you're a glutton for punishment, you can watch MTV for the pig ball drop, as well as other highbrow entertainment like a collective fist pump in hopes of setting a world record.

The One With The Black Actors

Tacos And Champagne 4: The Baquito

This year (T&C I / T&C II / T&C III) we decided to mix it up a little and throw something new into the mix...there's always a taco or two from Baja Fresh, but now we're putting another eatery on the platter - Poquito Mas, and hence the name for this year's revelry.  We're working with not only chicken and shrip soft tacos, but battered tilapia and combo platter sides (chips, beans and rice).  It's a meal fit for a king, or The King (because who doesn't have a Vegas jumpsuit in their closet for occasions like this?  Really...just me?).

And like Elvis, too much bubbly and mexican food will make you die in the latrine.

Real First Person Shooter

And There's Also A Guy's Hand Up Their Backside

Muppets With People Eyes...now try and salvage your childhood.

Un-kosher Workplace

Former Israeli president Moshe Katsav was convicted of two counts of rape, drawing to a close a four-year scandal, and leaving him looking at no less than eight years in prison. How much rape is he going to get in jail?

Katsav was also convicted on charges of sexual harassment, indecent acts and obstruction of justice - because what's rape without a side dish of those? The ruling ends an 18 month trial, where Katsav was painted as a sexual predator who routinely harassed his female staff. He was accused of twice raping a victim identified as "Aleph" during his term as tourism minister. Maybe the first time was an accident, but twice? Sounds like deliberate raping! He was also said to have sexually assaulted and harassed two other women while he was president. so, that's not presidential privilege?

Proclaiming his innocence throughout, Katsav initially accepted a plea agreement that would have seen him admit the lesser accusations and pay a fine in exchange for prosecutors dropping the rape charges. He later changed his mind, voiding the deal, saying he wanted to clear his name in court. How'd that work out for ya? Forced to resign as president, the largely-ceremonial office was handed to former rival Shimon Peres. Katsav is now the second sitting Israeli president to be forced from office by allegations of criminal conduct - his predecessor, the late Ezer Weizman, was forced to resign in 2000 after revelations that he received around 450,000 dollars from a French millionaire while he was a minister and lawmaker.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said it was "a sad day for the state of Israel and its citizens," but he lauded the trial as a sign of the strength of the country's legal system. "The court today sent two clear messages: that everyone is equal before the law; and that a woman has full rights and control over her own body." If only that idea could catch on in the rest of the Middle East....

"Fake It"

Consumerflage

Rachel Perry Welty's "Lost in My Life" series (2009-2010)...artist profile and interview here.

Bee Careful, Or Practice Safe Pollination

Eleven species of wild pollinators in the United States have turned up carrying some of the viruses known to menace domestic honeybees.  My God, could they be passing the virus through pollen?  And worse, should the public be alarmed by the indiscriminate pollenating lifestyle of these bees?

Sure, it's a quiet news week after Christmas, but c'mon, it is a little interesting to hear people talk about "native pollinators" or honeybee viruses potentially transmitted via flower pollen? Now, the hope that viral diseases in honeybees will stay restricted to honeybees has disappeared:

A pattern showed up in the survey that fits that unpleasant scenario. Researchers tested for five viruses in pollinating insects and in their pollen hauls near apiaries in Pennsylvania, New York and Illinois. Israeli acute parasitic virus showed up in wild pollinators near honeybee installations carrying the disease but not near apiaries without the virus. In domestic honeybees, such viruses rank as one of the possible contributors to the still-mysterious malady known as colony collapse disorder that abruptly wipes out a hive’s workforce

Surveys show that wild bumblebees numbers are dwindling, and these viruses could pose a major threat.  Such problems as deformed-wing virus and sacbrood virus are ending up in pollen carried by foraging bees that weren’t infected themselves.  Yes, there is a bumblebee zero out there somewhere! These healthy, foraging insects carrying virus-laden pollen are part of their evidence that pollen by itself can transmit viral infections.

Swordspinning

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Easter eggs are the perfect way to to conceal 14 pounds of cocaine...unless you're dumb enough to try it two days before Christmas.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers didn't have to work too hard seeing candy for the wrong holiday, though it was Jesus related. Esteban Galtes (23) is now being held without bail after trying to smuggling that cocaine through LAX after a week-long trip in Colombia. Man, that must have been a powder avalanche of a week to think that was going to work. His charge of importation of a controlled substance carries a max penalty of life in prison.

Galtes' luggage held most of the cocaine, camouflaged as pastel-colored Easter egg candies, while the remainder was hidden under a cardboard false bottom of a paper shopping bag. The cocaine has a street value of more than $100,000, while the candy was around $6.98. Galtes told the officers that the eggs were for his two children - and I say you deserve to be caught if you're planning to waste all that yeyo on kids.

Playmate Of The (Last Remaining) Year(s)

It's a familiar Christmas sight - the jolly old man making merry while the young girl on his lap is terrified. Even so, it appears congratulations are due to Hugh Hefner and his fiance Crystal Harris!

The man with more pussy than he knows what to do with it is 60 years senior his 24-year-old girlfriend, but before you say that's disgusting, here's ex-girlfriend Izabella St. James' description from her memoir Bunny Tales of what it is to be the top whore in Hef's harem:

At around midnight, Hef would take his Viagra; it was always wrapped in a crumpled Kleenex - although Holly (Madison) bought him a nice Tiffany pillbox once, he always stuck to his habits.

Hef would lie on his back in the middle of the bed, and as some of us were getting stoned or drinking Dom, he would cover himself in baby oil. Many of the girls he slept with would get yeast infections, which they blamed on the baby oil...Holly would start off the festivities by orally pleasuring Hef

That appeared to be the distinguishing mark of the number one Girlfriend—not only was she the only one who had sex with him regularly, but she was the only girl that ever had that particular kind of sex with Hef. Holly was always quick and full of moans and groans and "oh daddy" shout-outs. After that came to the grand finale: Hef masturbated while watching the porn, and Holly sucked on his nipple.

Okay, now that's fucking disgusting.

Harris worked her way up the skank ladder a few years ago, but was overshadowed by 19-year-old-twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, and the three where Hef's revision on the blonde trio he'd held for years with Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson. With his divorce from 2nd wife Kimberly Conrad finalized in March of this year, the old man must have realized it would be cheaper to marry one of his bimbos than put a full-time care provider on payroll.

Even if he dies on her or she ends up being his the next ex, at least Harris can look forward to her final few minutes of fame with a show on E!

RIP, White Chocolate

New Socks And Underwear Weekend

Everybody gets excited because they use someone else's birthday to make a big deal for a month, but it's not the sappy carols or the dusty decorations wheeled out year after year that bother me - it's the gross commercialism and way that it is jammed down our cultural throats.  I won't Grinch out on it, but just imagine a month every year that vegans* flooded the country with their message of soy-and-gluten, and your carnivorous ways were buried beneath a tide of meat-less sentiment.  That society would suck for about 30 days every year.  And that's what this time of year is to me: running the gauntlet, where new boxer-briefs await at the end.

Best of the week: How do you know your movie is a giant piece of shit? When it's How Do You Know, and it only makes $7.6 million it's opening weekend. 

Sure, lots of movies are not blockbusters out of the gate, but How Do You Know cost $120 to make. When you're done choking, here's how a movie without anything exploding, no giant robots, and lacking CGI monsters could possibly reach that obscene amount.

Are you ready? Here's the lead cast salaries: Reese Witherspoon earned $15 million. Jack Nicholson received $12 million. Owen Wilson pocketed $10 million. And Paul Rudd got $3 million. Writer / director / producer James L. Brooks collected $10 million - plus backend, though I doubt there's any since there's no money coming in from the frontend. After that, you've got $70 in production and other salaries, which makes no sense for a film shot in Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. - unless they actually purchased all the locations they filmed in.

There is no reason an average romantic comedy should EVER cost that much. For comparison, Watchmen cost $130 million,had cool-as-shit effects, ran up to 90 minutes longer (in some cuts), and earned an extra $50 million above budget in domestic returns. How Do You Know won't ever earn $120 million in total - and I'm talking foreign box office, DVD sales, and pay-per view / cable. Hollywood's hottest actors got their asses kicked by a cult comic series from twenty years ago.

The only reason "talent" is supposed to have such high salaries is because it is offsetting box office revenue, and they clearly did not. This is why Hollywood studios deserve to collapse - by not making contracts where actors forfeit percentages of their salary against the gross. The million that Reese Witherspoon would have received on this picture would have been plenty.

And: Bangladeshi authorities have launched an investigation after porn was aired on a large display screen at the country's main airport. Was it Hot Indian POV 3?

Hundreds at the main terminal of the Shahjalal International Airport were shocked as five minutes of porn was shown. The display screen usually shows recorded documentaries about the culture and geography of the country. Doesn't their lovemaking count as information on their culture?

Officials say the operator has been "jailed instantly for two months", which is how the law works in conservative Muslim countries like Bangladesh. They added, "We have also summoned the owners of the cable firm to investigate the incident. We have to find out whether any criminal intent was involved". You can't jail somebody for months and then question if there is criminal intent...though it is criminal if you show part of the movie and don't get to see the climax.

Best picture of the week:

solstice lunar eclispe, yo!

Best bonus links:

• 10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden In Famous Albums - Questionable, but even if some of them are bullshit, it is very cool.

• Florida Officials Arrest Pedophilia How-To Book Author - The in-store book signing would have been a fiasco.

• Pearl In Man's Ear For 41 Years - Something something something Pearl Jam joke...

• 300 Level One Naked Orcs Take Out Gamon - Video game prons for the Warcraft fan.

• Man Crashes ‘Muscle Car’ Onto George W. Bush’s Lawn - And surprisingly it wasn't another family member.

• Jersey Shore's Ronnie Indicted On Assault Charge - But still free on public douchebaggery.

• The 20 Worst Songs Of 2010 - A hilarious disection of the top of the bottom, and every one is spot on with their critique.

• Map Of Metal - Interactive and ass-kicking!  Beware the Cliffs of Hair Metal!

• There Is A Qur'an Written In Saddam Hussein's Blood - If only it was written live and in real-time.

• Read The Entire Marvel Comic Based On Dune - Go on...read it!

• Dog In Germany Gives Birth To 17 Puppies - Bob Barker is losing his shit over this story.

• Ben Franklin’s 200+ Synonyms For “Drunk” - You have no doubt been called some of them.

• Blazer Wearing Dickbag Begs Bouncer For Punishment — That's how you handle them!

• Murder Scene Might Reveal Why Neanderthals Went Extinct - Hint: they were are killed.

• The Navy's Electromagnetic Catapult Is Go / How Disney Designed The Military's Electromagnetic Launch System - Wait until they get the Fast Pass!

• NY Governor Fined $62K Over Yankees Series Tickets - For that price I really hope he enjoyed the game...as much as a blind person can.

• Reindeer On Shrooms - Don't let these ones pull the sleigh.

Worst of the week: The New York Times wedding announcement section is an antiquated megaphone for elitist blowhards who want to draw attention to themselves. So when Gawker turned their weekly scorn at the snobby egotists, they singled out a real rotten piece of the upper crust.

We'll let the Times tell it:

Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla met in 2006 in a pre-kindergarten classroom. They both had children attending the same Upper West Side school. They also both had spouses. The connection was immediate, but platonic. In fact, as they became friends so did their spouses. There were dinners, Christmas parties and even family vacations together.

In May 2008, Mr. Partilla invited her for a drink at O'Connell's, a neighborhood bar. She said she knew something was up, because they had never met on their own before.

'I've fallen in love with you,' he recalled saying to her. She jumped up, knocking a glass of beer into his lap, and rushed out of the bar. Five minutes later, he said, she returned and told him, 'I feel exactly the same way.' Then she left again."

In a straightforward and unapologetic manner, Partilla and Riddell detailed how they agreed to handle "a terrible thing" as "honorably" as they could, immediately separating from their spouses. Well, that's classy. Oh wait, it isn't, when you choose to make the story public. To say that "This is life. This is how it goes", is a weak excuse for their behavior, and all the talk about being soulmates does not cover up their true selfish, self-centered love. There's nothing to be proud about or need to share. Enjoy your wedded bliss...until you meet someone else.

And: Government inspections to uncover serious maintenance problems that could lead to airline crashes are often delayed for years or switched to focus on less critical problems, according to Department of Transportation's inspector general.

The FAA launched the program in 1998 and has expanded to 94 airlines, which are analyzed to see if they have an effective overall maintenance program. Over an eight-year period, FAA inspectors failed to complete 207 key inspections on time. The carriers reviewed in the report are Alaska Airlines, American Airlines, Continental Airlines, Delta Air Lines, Northwest Airlines, Southwest Airlines, United Airlines and US Airways. At three FAA offices, the report said more than five years lapsed between inspections to find out if airlines were effective in following FAA safety orders. Overdue inspections continued even after FAA cut back on inspectors' workloads.

Worst picture of the week:

another briliant life decision: Teen Mom's Amber Portwood waist tattoo

Worst bonus links:

• Police Man Kills Bride, Best Man, Self At Wedding - Usually it's the mother-in-law they want to kill.

• 'Flash Mob' Results In California Mall Evacuation - Wow, behold the power of a mobile choir.

• How Katy Perry Keeps Russell Brand Sexually Satisfied - They had me at Katy Perry, and lost me at Russell Brand.

• 31 Cities’ Tap Water Has Cancer-Causing Hexavalent Chromium, Study Says - Los Angeles is on the list? Yay!

• Usher Fan Apologizes for Kicking Him In The Face - When you kick Usher in the face, you don't apologize - you revel in it.

• Broadway 'Spider-Man' Stunt Double Falls To Stage / Ambulances Called, Show Stopped After 'Big Accident' in Spider-Man Musical / Actors’ Equity Tries, Fails To Halt The Spider-Man Musical / The Spiderman Musical Trainwreck, Animated Taiwanese News-Style - I remember back when this disaster was only a terrible idea in somebody's head...and I have the posts to prove it from years ago.

• Kim Kardashian Got A Puppy For Xmas That Died 2 Weeks Later - And this happened when she was a kid. Why is it newsworthy? It wouldn't even be  if it happened two weeks ago.

• Death Is In Store For One Of The Fantastic Four - And resurrection is in store for one of them months later.

• US Executions Drop By 12 Percent In 2010 - But the number of death row criminals hasn't gone down.

• David Schwimmer's Wife Is Pregnant - That's the only work he's getting these days.

• Video Of A Girl Before And After She Drank Three Four Lokos - How dare those be wasted on her!

• Barbour Doesn’t Recall Civil Rights Era Being ‘That Bad’ - Thanks for your point of view, white southern male.

• Sex Toy Tycoon Poisoned By Nanny With Wiper Fluid - Cheeky Brits calling a lingerie business owner a sex toy tycoon. And wiper fluid is Windex.

• Anonymous Thief Pays For Stolen Hammer, Decades Later - A little early for the Thor marketing campaign, isn't it?

• Stabbed US Tourist's Body Found Near Jerusalem - Another reason I'm not heading to Israel this year.

• Betty White Voted AP Entertainer Of The Year - Enough already with Betty White. Kitsch is overblown!

• Police Release Video of Cop Shooting Deaf Woodcarver - It's not that good...you don't get to see any of it.

*I picked vegans because they're annoying, self-rightious assholes who deserve the scorn 

3D Kitchen

Technology has developed so that we have printers which can render three dimensional objects, but what if you're hungry?

Scientists at Cornell University's Computational Synthesis Lab have been developing a 3D food printer they hope will become commercially available. The machine would allow users to "print" meals using "raw food 'inks'" inside syringes. So, is that "disgusting" or "delicious"?

First, you load the machine with the raw food "inks", then you dial up the recipe, which they're calling a "FabApp" - no doubt trying to catch some of the buzz from the smartphone marketing lingo. Their printer then does the rest. The fab@home project is being developed as an open-source collaboration to share and build the recipes, but users could tweak the food's taste, texture and other properties.

So far, the "inks" are limited to whatever can be anything that can be "extruded from a syringe", which means you're not going to want to make a steak. You have liquidized chocolate, cookie dough, cake batter, and cheese, which ain't quite a three course meal yet, but could keep you fed. It may be encouraging (or scary) to some that they have started to create "domes made of turkey meat".

Their end goal (beyond the technology) is to create 3D printable food recipe social networks with everyone improving on each other's creations. Developers hope 3D printing will "do for food what e-mail and instant messaging did for communication". I say they worry more about making it digestible and less about the sharing component. Most of the posts on Facebook, etc. are useless - I'm not about to use that lowered standard to dictate what I eat.

The Other Star Wars Holiday Special

Infinitely better than the first piece of shit.

Deal With The Devils

Almost halfway into the season, the New Jersey Devils are tied for dead last in the NHL (20 points), have lost three straight games, and 8 of the last 9. Looks like there's going to be restructuring...

Adios, John MacLean, (re-) enter Jacques Lemaire, for his third trip with the Devils as coach. Too little and too late?  The team has won three Stanley Cups since 1995, made the playoffs every year since 1997 and usually ranks near the top of the Eastern Conference, but can Lemaire make a miracle happen? “When you struggle like we’ve struggled, you don’t turn this around in a couple of shifts....It’s going to take a little time but I know the guys will come back. I could see it.”

It has been a rotating wheel of coaches in post-lockout New Jersey, which foreshadows their current troubles:  Larry Robinson stepped down in the middle of the 2005-06 season citing "health issues".  Claude Julien was fired before the 2007 playoffs. Brent Sutter resigned from the Devils after the 2009 playoffs.  Let's hope Lemaire has true confidence, since he retired after last season with the organization, getting taken out of the first round of the playoffs by the Philadelphia Flyers, who weaseled their way into the post-season with a win in the final game of the season.  He will finish the season with the team, but can he motivate a team that was outscored 20-4 in the last four games? And what does he have to work with?

All-star goalie Martin Brodeur has gone 1-6-0 since returning from an elbow injury. Ilya Kovalchuk has been a major disappointment (karma for the Lebronesque summer signing saga?). Injuries to Bryce Salvador and Zach Parise have dogged the team. Salary cap limitations from questionable contracts for Brian Rolston, Dainius Zubrus, and Kovalchuk forced the team to skate short and limit their options. The team has the lowest goals scored in the league (57), 5th worst power play conversion (15.7%), and top player has 24 points - not even in the league's top 50 (rating 72nd)

The team would have to win between 30-35 of their remaining 47 games to have a shot at the lower ranks in the post-season.  Good luck with that...


UPDATE: They got spanked by the arguably worse (or at least perennially bad) New York Islanders 5-1, who now jump ahead of the Devils by two points, leaving New Jersey alone in the basement.

iPaintings

I find it fascinating to see what technology can add to an artist's skills, but in the case of David Hockney and his iPad, I'm happy to share the point of view that it's crap.

The English photographer and painter has slowly lost my interest, with these compositions being the low point. His past photo-collage work is simply stunning:

...but as a painter, he's slowly lost lost the magic in his pop art style:

50s

60s

70s

80s

90s

00s

Those last ones were from his iPad, part of a collection of over 300 in exhibition in Paris.  That is the benefit of fame - to get your computer doodles into shows based on your name.  That's the kind of average crap you're likely to see in a hipster coffee shop or student exhibition.

While the artist has been using technology to assist him for decades (including early graphics programs and "FAX art"), his embrace of the benefits outweigh their return: "The iPad's backlight lets you paint at any time of day, the app's color wheel provides every pigment, and its very nature renders set-up and clean-up obsolete".   That may be true, but the haste and options technology give should not be a reason to make inferior work.  Music recording may have gone digital, but the simplicity and growing toolbox only reduce the cost and time required to create - and not create less or poorly. Hockney admits the iPad allows him do most of his painting in bed, which is just fucking lazy, and starts to show the lack of dedication to the work.

Clearly, Hockney is was is a talented artist, but when I see lesser works and read that art critics are similarly unimpressed (and God knows I'm not looking for other opinions - let alone "critics" for validation), then perhaps there is some truth to the matter.

Definitely For Consideration

Saw the links over the last few days, but didn't watch it until the Filmdrunk Frotcast made reference...it's the new "say hi to your mother".

And That's Why It's Quantum Physics

Science is pretty weird, especially when you take it to the quantum level.

Back in 1970, Soviet physicist Vitaly Efimov postulated that quantum objects that cannot form into pairs could nevertheless form into triplets - which was proven in 2006 (by Austrians), the first example of such a so-called Efimov state in a cold gas of cesium atoms. And what was causing the bonds between the pairs and triplets were completely different...

Now, scientists in Norway believe they're about to discover far more complex objects forming with these bonds, opening up "brand new form of matter governed by an entirely new branch of physics".

The basis is in topology, which deals with the properties of shapes when an object is twisted, squeezed, and stretched - but not torn. For explanation is the Borromean ring, which consists of three circles intertwined, when if you open one, it releases the other two. It's not a concept possible in 2D space like the picture, but in 3D space, the mathematics favor Efimov's ideas. The mathematics of quantum mechanics and of topology turn out to be the same.

Physicists are beginning to build conductors and insulators in which the movement of electrons is governed by the topology of quantum mechanics and not regular parallel bonds. If it's possible to make Efimov states equivalent to Borromean rings, then it ought to be possible to create others as well. The link between particles is very similar to quantum entanglement (at least, that's what I'm told - I don't entirely understand this stuff), and is already expanding the mechanics of theoretical and quantum physics.