Yet Another Reason Hockey Is Superior To Baseball

The boys of summer have started their months long campaign of playing diamond bags, but the real men are still duking it out indoors for the playoffs in hockey. And besides being slow, boring, and generally inferior to the game of iced canes, add soft to the register of complaints against ballplayers.

Last week, Mike Lowell the 3rd baseman for the Boston Red Sox, sprained his thumb while diving for a ball. He was subsequently put on the 15 day disabled list so he could properly rehabilitate his injury. Over the weekend Philadelphia Flyers forward Patrick Thoresen stopped a slaphot with his groin, but is expected back in the line up in their series vs. Washington.

“My groin area is sore and swollen,” Thoresen said. “I can’t really walk properly right now. It hurts.”

The team originally feared that the injury was serious enough that Thoresen might have had to undergo surgery to have a testicle removed.

Spraining your thumb takes you out for over two weeks, but a 90 mph frozen piece of rubber to the junk and you’re back in the game 3 days later. Hockey - toughest and best sport ever. Baseball - something that occurs coincidentally while spending the afternoon eating nachos and beer.