Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dearth Day

The well ran dry a long time ago for Weezer, yet they're still manning the pump, trying to squeeze out every last drop of music for their alt-emo-indie-whatever cult. Stop. Please, just stop.

While super-geeked out Pitchfork devotees will complain that they peaked with their sophomore Pinkerton, it's like debating which calculus theorem is the most enjoyable - it doesn't matter. Their first, genius titled album, Weezer, has the kick ass "Say It Ain't So", but "Undone", "Buddy Holly", and "My Name Is Jonas" take about a listen and a half to grow tired of. Thankfully, they've spent more than a decade following the same formula, making
hipster-grade, wink-nudge aren't-we-clever tunes.

If the same 4/4 guitar riffs and Silverlake cool lyrics don't grow tiring, how 'about triplicating an album called Weezer? Oh, but this one is the "red" (sixth) one, not the "blue (debut) or "green" (third) album. And no, it's not the least bit pretentious that songwriter Rivers Cuomo self-imposed celibacy for two years while getting his degree at Harvard, or has a fetish for Asian girls. I want to throat-punch people when I hear their music.

And why so irate? The new Weezer album photo came out, causing a flood of bottled up disgust and scorn for their recycled music. They're like the AC-DC of alternative music...even though they look like the the new Village People.

The Bartender, the Professor, the Cowboy, and the Biker

Weezer sucks.

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