Cruechebags

Dust off your acid washed denim and put on your mascara - Motley Crue is hitting the road again, with a full posse of douches in tow.

The first ever Crue Fest was announced, and the summer rock festival will reunite the four original members of Motley Crue for the umpteenth time. Adding to the faux-metal glam poseur-ness are Buckcherry, Papa Roach, Sixx:A.M. and Trapt. Wow, talk about a weak bill that doesn't rock. Expect a lot of Mustangs in the parking lot and dudes with No Fear tee shirts ready to swill some Bud Light

"We've been wanting to do this forever," said stick man and cocksmith Tommy Lee. "The second we hit the stage, everything is exactly the same, but when the house lights go up these days, everybody leaves and goes back to their hotel room or bus or airplane or whatever. It's different now. People have families and kids". Man, that guy has a good sales pitch. Come watch our middle aged asses play dress up, because we don't really live or rock as hard in real life as the image we're trying to sell you.

Predictably, Crue Fest will kick off in West Palm Beach, FL in July before dragging through 41 stops across the U.S. and Canada. Consider yourself warned.