What's So Super About This Weekend?

As far as I'm concerned, there's only one sport worth watching, and that's hockey. But for advertisers, marketing firms, and beer companies, there's some football to be viewed.

The Super Bowl has become the spectacle to end all spectacles, at least if you believe the hype. Every year some of the worst entertainers possible are gathered to try and make a football game into Mardi Gras, Coachella, and the second coming of Christ -- all rolled into one HD package corporate sponsored package. This year, Fox has it's American Idol fingers all over the game, giving us a Jordin Sparks version of the national anthem, a Paula Abdul video debut and Ryan Seacrest pregame skits. It's an annual battle for reaching the lowest common denominator, and with Bon Jovi, Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers, and Alicia Keys thrown in, I think the only demographic excluded are people with taste. Maybe we'll get lucky and there'll be a surprise rendition of "Walk This Way" and Aerosmith can make their 24th appearance.

The only reason to watch the game is to see if New England will be the first 19-0 team in football...and the odds look good for them. Savvy folks have already trademarked "19-0", and I hear that Giants backers have mockingly protected "18-1" from use. The Super Bowl is not so much a championship game as it is a sports flavored marketing orgy and sales pitch. Every year I remember how the NFL has the phrase "Super Bowl" trademarked, which is why you never hear any ads say those words...it's always "The Big Game" or something stupid. I'll get sued for using it, but I don't give a shit. Try getting something from nothing, greedy bastard! You ruin the name and the game more than I could ever by making it a giant commercial.

To me, I will always think of Super Bowl Sunday as a magnificent day where once, many years ago, I had my fill of beer and pizza, won an enormous amount of money picking squares in a pool, and violated my then-girlfriend in a way that is still illegal in many states. It's sad to see that the game no longer has that wonderful spirit, but I will be at Ze Doktorhaus watching on Sunday - so ladies, pepperoni, sausage or both please, and a light imported beer. I'll take care of the rest.