The somewhat true story of Arne Treholt and his ninjas in 1980's Norway, kindly brought to you by the cats who made Dead Snow (the zombie / Nazi flick).
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
iFourth
Gizmodo had it right: "We already showed you the new iPhone from every angle, inside and out. Today, Steve Jobs re-revealed it...", and they've made a comprehensive guide to all the features of the new iPhone 4.• The hardware design is no different than the leaked version - black glass and stainless steel rim. But it's main feature is it's compacted size, about a third thinner than the iPhone 3GS, but jammed full of more...stuff, and weighs a couple grams more. And there are still split buttons for volume like the prototype. One big change is that the stainless steel rim acts as part of the antenna for 3G and Wi-Fi, theoretically bosting the phone's reception.
• Okay nerds, go to town on the specs: an A4 chip (just like the iPad), a Cortex-A8 main processor unit, a PowerVR SGX 535 for graphics, and a pair of 128MB DDR SDRAM chips. Whatever, right? Well, they're all on the same chip, and Apple claims it process data faster while consuming less battery.
• Speaking of, the battery is 16% bigger than the current one. Somehow that adds up to 40% more talk time, but I was never that good at PR math. More figures:
- talk over 3G: 7 hours
- browsing over 3G: 6 hours
- browsing over Wi-Fi: 10 hours
- video: 10 hours
- music: 40 hours
- stand-by mode : 300 hours.
• The display is a 3.5-inch multitouch screen with a 960 × 640 pixels resolution - that's four times as many pixels as the current iPhone 3GS' display. This IPS-based display (same as the iPad) has an 800-to-1 contrast ratio and a greater viewing angle. They're not saying it's HD (though it shoots in 720p, so the display has to match up), but that's what a lot are calling it. And like it's predecessors, the display has an oleophobic layer that makes it easier to clean. Oleophobic? Hey, I just pass the info on to you...
• There's a bigger sensor for the main camera, which is backlit and has bigger lenses too. The camera also has a LED-based flash for both for photographs and video. And when I said main camera, that's because the front facing one allows for video conferencing. It only syncs to other iPhone 4s over Wi-Fi, but outside developers could one day open that up to other phone users...but that is a huge killer app for now.
• But what about the built-in gyroscope, you ask? Yes, that's been improved for higher precision. Coupled with their accelerometer, it has "6-axis motion sensing". And I though there were only three dimensions.
• The phone runs iOS 4, their fancy i-before-everything name for the operating system. It does "selective multi-tasking", reducing resources while several applications are running. And with the new display, items automatically get scaled for the new resolution - that includes typography, 2D vector graphics, and 3D graphics.
• iMovie for the iPhone adds 1,500 new features, which is 1498 more than I can think are necessary. But you can cut newly shot video clips, add effects for still images, and even import music from your music library before uploading it starting at 360p (up to 720).
• How much will it set you back? You get a choice of colors - black or white, and 16GB will cost $199. The 32GB version is $299 - if you are a new user or you are eligible for an upgrade. Existing iPhone users can enjoy the early upgrade for will cost you $399 / $499, and non-contract, the phone is $599 / $699.
If you still have a tech hankerin' in your loins, they also have an article on what the iPhone 4 indicates in in the works for iPad 2.
Putting The Japan In Planet Japan
Japanese painter Tetsuya Ishida (1973-2005) has been linked all over the web today for some reason. And I'm a trend vetter, not necessarily a setter.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Countdown Weekend
We're watching the calendar as next week Rybot and I exile ourselves to Montreal for the Canadian Grand Prix, which we've been pining for since January. And the following weekend shit gets really real and Scarlett moves in! A scant seven days later Herr Docktor makes an honest lady out of Weebins. June is completely in place and moving forward.
Best of the week: A porn "actor" went on a rampage at a Van Nuys video production office, killing a fellow performer and injuring two others people. Sometimes, you get into those close quarters and things...well, touch. Guess he took it poorly.
Stephen Hill aka Steve Driver, used a samurai sword that was around for prop use to kill , his co-worker and sometime co-star, Herbert Hin Wong aka Tom Dong. Oddly, the two men appeared together in Cuckold Abuse and and Femdom Humiliation, which is soon to be a best-seller. At the time, Hill was both working and living at the offices of Ultima DVD Inc. Officials said Hill did production work and acted in several porn movies., and on the night of the attack, he apparently faced the loss of his job and eviction. Two other co-workers we injured in the attack.
The always amazing Susannah Breslin, who is virtually an embedded journo in Porn Valley, has far more details about Hill and what may have led to him snapping. "While I don't recall having ever met Hill, his type is familiar: a porn fan who became so obsessed with the industry that he managed to find a place in it, a hanger-on who never got farther up than the bottom rung, a loose cannon among loose cannons who one day went off."
Hill fled the scene and was last seen driving a 1996 blue Toyota RAV4 with right-side damage - truly, the vehicle of choice for a failed-porn-actor-turned-murderer.
UPDATE: KABC-TV captured the standoff between Hill and police on a rocky cliff...wanna guess how that worked out for him?
A "less than lethal munition" was used against Hill just before he fell some 40 feet and was pronounced dead at a local hospital. He had been moving to the edge of the outcropping from a seated position before letting himself drop as police closed in on him. SWAT officers had spent part of the afternoon trying to talk Hill down from the hillside as he clutched a sword.
Video? Of course! Enjoy, you morbidly curious!
Plus: A woman in Galveston, Texas, stumbled across a bag with 16 bricks of coke worth nearly $2.1 million. Not a bad day at the beach.
After looking inside the backpack, which was tumbling in the surf, she contacted the police rather than throw the most awesome party ever. The haul weighed over 37 pounds, and each brick was marked with bar codes and wrapped in a rubber sheet, a large balloon and another plastic layer - pro shit. Authorities noted the bricks were so wrapped so well that only four of the bricks had been contaminated by seawater. "There were barnacles growing on the bag so you know it was probably in the water a long time."
The bag is the first large quantity of drugs washed up on Galveston beaches in at least a decade. No one knows how or where the drugs got in the water, but typically they are thrown overboard when law enforcement attempts to board a smuggler's vessel. Although the amount found was large, it amounts to a fraction of the cocaine brought into the United States. The 37 pounds would probably have been turned into 100 pounds of street product.
And: Kendry Morales took a leap toward home plate and all of a sudden, a jubilant trip around the bases turned into a deflating trip to the disabled list. Punk ass!
Morales broke his left leg after hitting a game-ending grand slam in the 10th inning of theLos Angeles Anaheim Angels' 5-1 victory against Seattle on Saturday. Morales landed awkwardly when he jumped on home plate and twisted his left ankle. He had to be carted off the field and taken to the hospital. He was placed on the 15-day disabled list.
Most of those ball players are hardly what I'd call athletic with their physique, but now we can also call them clumsy, uncoordinated, and borderline retarded.
A smiling Morales threw down his helmet a few steps from the plate, took a hop and then jumped toward the plate as teammates began to pat him on the head. Morales quickly went down and grimaced as he rolled onto his back. He lay on the ground for at least 10 minutes and waved his arms to the cheering fans as he was driven away to the hospital...like a putz.
"Obviously, we're going to have to change the way we go about celebrating something like that," said manager Mike Scioscia. Here's the video for a chuckle.
Best picture of the week:
Best of the week: A porn "actor" went on a rampage at a Van Nuys video production office, killing a fellow performer and injuring two others people. Sometimes, you get into those close quarters and things...well, touch. Guess he took it poorly.
Stephen Hill aka Steve Driver, used a samurai sword that was around for prop use to kill , his co-worker and sometime co-star, Herbert Hin Wong aka Tom Dong. Oddly, the two men appeared together in Cuckold Abuse and and Femdom Humiliation, which is soon to be a best-seller. At the time, Hill was both working and living at the offices of Ultima DVD Inc. Officials said Hill did production work and acted in several porn movies., and on the night of the attack, he apparently faced the loss of his job and eviction. Two other co-workers we injured in the attack.The always amazing Susannah Breslin, who is virtually an embedded journo in Porn Valley, has far more details about Hill and what may have led to him snapping. "While I don't recall having ever met Hill, his type is familiar: a porn fan who became so obsessed with the industry that he managed to find a place in it, a hanger-on who never got farther up than the bottom rung, a loose cannon among loose cannons who one day went off."
Hill fled the scene and was last seen driving a 1996 blue Toyota RAV4 with right-side damage - truly, the vehicle of choice for a failed-porn-actor-turned-murderer.
UPDATE: KABC-TV captured the standoff between Hill and police on a rocky cliff...wanna guess how that worked out for him?
A "less than lethal munition" was used against Hill just before he fell some 40 feet and was pronounced dead at a local hospital. He had been moving to the edge of the outcropping from a seated position before letting himself drop as police closed in on him. SWAT officers had spent part of the afternoon trying to talk Hill down from the hillside as he clutched a sword.
Video? Of course! Enjoy, you morbidly curious!
Plus: A woman in Galveston, Texas, stumbled across a bag with 16 bricks of coke worth nearly $2.1 million. Not a bad day at the beach.
After looking inside the backpack, which was tumbling in the surf, she contacted the police rather than throw the most awesome party ever. The haul weighed over 37 pounds, and each brick was marked with bar codes and wrapped in a rubber sheet, a large balloon and another plastic layer - pro shit. Authorities noted the bricks were so wrapped so well that only four of the bricks had been contaminated by seawater. "There were barnacles growing on the bag so you know it was probably in the water a long time."
The bag is the first large quantity of drugs washed up on Galveston beaches in at least a decade. No one knows how or where the drugs got in the water, but typically they are thrown overboard when law enforcement attempts to board a smuggler's vessel. Although the amount found was large, it amounts to a fraction of the cocaine brought into the United States. The 37 pounds would probably have been turned into 100 pounds of street product.
And: Kendry Morales took a leap toward home plate and all of a sudden, a jubilant trip around the bases turned into a deflating trip to the disabled list. Punk ass!Morales broke his left leg after hitting a game-ending grand slam in the 10th inning of the
Most of those ball players are hardly what I'd call athletic with their physique, but now we can also call them clumsy, uncoordinated, and borderline retarded.
A smiling Morales threw down his helmet a few steps from the plate, took a hop and then jumped toward the plate as teammates began to pat him on the head. Morales quickly went down and grimaced as he rolled onto his back. He lay on the ground for at least 10 minutes and waved his arms to the cheering fans as he was driven away to the hospital...like a putz.
"Obviously, we're going to have to change the way we go about celebrating something like that," said manager Mike Scioscia. Here's the video for a chuckle.
Best picture of the week:
proper vandalism Best bonus links:
• Catan Finally Coming to PlayStation 3 - I don't know if one of the best games ever will translate to gaming consoles, but let's give it a shot.
• Sarah Ferguson Drunk, Totally Broke When She Accepted Bribe - Not sober and well off, which would have made her choice so much more interesting.
• Oakland To License, Tax Indoor Marijuana Growers - The road to legal apparently runs through Northern California.
• PSD502 Spray Delays Premature Ejaculation - The trouble is spraying it straight down your dickhole. But you won't come too fast.
• Are These Not The Classiest Knives You've Ever Seen? - They are.
• Nail In The Coffin: The Best And Worst Of Hollywood Vampires - They mentioned Near Dark, so it has legitimacy.
• Narrow Streets Los Angeles - Imagining if our beautiful, grand road were compacted like those tiny thoroughfares of the east coast.
• Hair Is Worth 17 Grand - The nappiest way to earn a few bucks.
• Al-Qaida No. 3 Official Killed With Family - The terrorists that stay together get slayed together.
• Futuristic Mega-Projects By Shimizu - What did you expect from a website called Pink Tentacle?
• The United States Of Supercomputing Against The World - Home of the WOPR!
• Jail Population Declines For First Time Since '82 - Jail rapes however, have held steady.
• Lifehacker Pack 2010: Our List Of Essential Windows Downloads - Get 'em. Use 'em. Spread the word.
• Al And Tipper Gore, Married 40 Years, To Separate - Time to use some of that An Inconvenient Truth cred and hook it up with some ladies.
• TV University Faculty Roster - They're not all TV personalities, but it'd be a hell of a school.
• H.P. Lovecraft Inspired Art Show To Open In Brooklyn Next Week - The Old Ones request you buy some of their signed prints. Or go insane.
• Mayor Accused Of Beating Elderly Woman - He gave her an important lesson in civics.
Worst of the week: Which is a bigger travesty - that the things Sarah Palin says are borderline retarded, or the things she doesn't say and passes off as her own make her look retarded.
On Memorial Day, Palin tweeted the following: "VETERANS, not reporters ,give freedom of the press. VETS, not politicians, give freedom to vote. VETS, not campus radicals, give freedom to assemble." It's remarkably similar to the 1970 poem by former soldier Charles M. Province:
IT IS THE SOLDIER
It is the Soldier, not the minister
Who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.
It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.
It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.
I'm just surprised Sarah Palin is smart enough to figure out how to use Twitter.
Plus: Cocaine abusers (and not the folks who find it on the beach) can add rotting flesh to list of downsides.
A recent report in Annals of Internal Medicine noted two cases involving women with a history of cocaine use who came to a hospital for help when they noticed purplish plaques on their cheeks, earlobes, legs, thighs and buttocks. It turned out to be typical of toxicity with levamisole. You know levamisole - the a veterinary anti-worming medication approved for use in cattle, sheep and pigs. Sure, it was once used to treat cancer, autoimmune diseases and kidney problems in humans, but it had adverse side effects. Y'know, the rotting flesh.
Levamisole is often used to cut cocaine, before distribution to the user, and almost 80% of cocaine coming into America has levamisole mixed in. So get that other 20% if you can.
And: "Everything about Debrahlee Lorenzana is hot. Even her name sizzles," writes the Village Voice in a profile of the banker who was fired for being "too distracting for her male colleagues to bear."
Lorenzana is about to enter arbitration with Citibank, which she accuses of wrongful termination. As her lawsuit puts it, her bosses told her that "as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly 'too distracting' for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear." Wow, those guys are a bunch of pussies. They couldn't concentrate on their work because her appearance was too distracting? They ordered her to stop wearing turtlenecks? Forbidden to wear pencil skirts, three-inch heels, and fitted business suits? They didn't deserve to enjoy it if they couldn't handle it.
Lorenzana is a 33-year-old single mom, and pointed out female colleagues whose clothing was far more revealing than hers: "They said their body shapes were different from mine, and I drew too much attention," she says. They should have just hired more hot chicks.
Worst picture of the week:
the sad truth Worst bonus links:
• Poll: Should Bret Michaels Replace Simon Cowell On American Idol - No. And why the fuck would you think he should?
• Prescott, Ariz., Elementary School To 'Whiten' Image Of Child In Mural - I believe the correct term is whitewashing.
• Cameron Diaz: Lots Of Sex Is My Fountain Of Youth - With who, you crone?
• Taxi Driver Kills 12, Wounds 25 In England - Sounds like he was more like the American Taxi Driver.
• Celine Dion Pregnant Again At Last...With Twins - Two more unholy spawn? Science does not always make miracles.
• 'Bombshell' McGee Admits Anti-Semitism - So, I guess those Nazi tattoos and clothes did mean you were a racist whore.
• China Sets New Rules Banning Confessions By Torture / Foxconn Raises Worker Pay By 30% After Suicides - See, China is on the right track.
• Online Dating Ghostwriter - If somebody needs to ghost write your profile and correspond, you were properly left out of the dating pool.
• Mariah Carey Shows Off New Pregnancy Curves! / Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon Have Familiar Baby Name In Mind - Great, seven more months of useless Mariah Carey baby stories.
• California Bans Plastic Bags - Must we all look like hippie douches carrying canvas sacks?
• Singer Leona Lewis Fell Down An Elevator Shaft! - Put her in your dead pool, because she is a magnet for pain.
• The 66 Most Overrated Women Of 2010 / 15 Of The Worst Kinds of Boobs (Yes, Really) - Putting a little feminine flavor in the worst links.
• Rossi Wants To Be Third Ferrari Driver - They have a hard enough time with Massa being their second driver. Three is two too many.
• Laura Ling Names Baby After Sister And Bill Clinton - So was it a boy or a girl. Or does it matter?
• One-Time JonBenet Suspect Recruiting Kids / Holloway Suspect Sought In Peru Murder - Once a scumbag, always a scumbag.
• Titanic Director Cameron Joins Effort To Plug Gulf Spill - Just because you made 3D cat-monkeys and a film about a boat doesn't make you qualified to fix an oil leak.
• Kristen Stewart: Fame Is Like Being Raped - Sometimes I wish lots of fame on Hollywood's less-than-elite.
Suck...Er, Ball
Adidas dropped some big bucks to be an official World Cup sponsor ,and maneuver into the position where they're making the official match ball - and more importantly, the angle for manufacturing and distribution worldwide. The only problem is, some players have been pretty vocal about what a piece of shit it is."The ball is dreadful," said England goalkeeper David James. "It's horrible, but it's horrible for everyone. It will allow some extra goals, but leave some goalkeepers looking daft." Top net minder Julio Cesar (Brazil) called it "terrible" and even compared it to a cheapo balloon-ball you'd find in a supermarket. Italian striker Giampaolo Pazzini called the ball a "disaster," and Cesar's teammate, striker Luis Fabiano, also complained about the ball's unpredictable trajectory. "You are going to kick it and it moves out of the way...I think it's supernatural. It's very bad."
This World Cup ball is called "Jabulani", which means "to celebrate" in the Bantu language isiZulu, one of the official languages of South Africa where the tournament is being held. Adidas raves about Jabulani, calling it "the most innovative ball ever made," and claims that its "Grip N' Groove" technology makes the ball "the most accurate and roundest" in history. Ready for some of their PR? "The Jabulani has been extensively tested to meet FIFA standards and is 27% more accurate than match balls on the market today. We feel confident that the World Cup will be a success and the ball will be one of the most visible icons of the event."
The sporting giant used only 8 different panels to build this ball, a far cry from the 32 they introduced on the 1970 Telstar model, but the company insists it keeps the shots straight. Tiny grooves on the ball also capture wind currents, keeping air off the surface, resulting in a more true flight, they say. Adidas has pointed out that many top pro teams have used the ball since December without complaint, and the most vocal complaints have come from teams outfitted by their rivals Puma and Nike. And on that note, feign surprise that Germany has been super complimentary - they're sponsored head-to-toe by Adidas and home to company's headquarters.
The company insists that the controversy will subside once the matches start, but athletes are temperamental and don't like playing with other peoples balls. Especially if they're used to playing with their own.
Howdy, Pilgrim
It's totally for the tween generation, but the campy video-game style and comic silliness from which it's based has warmed me up.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
USBitchin'
Instructables has all kinds of badass projects, like this crafty USB power outlet installation for your car. Here's the basics - click on each step for details and step-by-step pictures:
step 1Finding a location for the USB power plug
In the 2010 Prius III there is an unused outlet next to the 12volt aux power in the front center console. I disassembled the center console and removed the plastic housing of the blank outlet and the 12volt aux.step 2The USB 12 volt car adapter
I disassembled a Dynex USB power adapter and removed the circuit board from the plastic housing, then removed the 12 volt supply wires. The supply wires were springs and such, and too bulky to reuse.step 3Preparing the blank cover
Once the blank cover (plug) is removed, I found it to be filled with a dense lattice of plastic. To fit the USB power circuit in it, a lot of the plastic needed to be cut out. Using an Exacto knife, and a box
cutter, I cleared the inside of the cover.step 4Fitting the USB circuit board
I used a Dremel tool with a grinding attachment to slim down the USB's circuit board until it slid into the hollowed out cover. Once the fit was right, it was time to make the hole on the face to access the USB plug.step 5Making the hole for the USB power
I approximated the center of the USB plug and drilled a tiny hole through the face of the blank accessory plug.step 6Wiring
Once I trimmed the opening, It was time to wire the 12 volt power to the USB adapter. Since the 12 volt accessory was right next to it, I soldered the ground from the USB board to the cigarette adapter, and attached the positive end to a nut on the back.step 7Fixing the LED
The USB board has a 2 color LED to indicate power and charging. I wanted the light to shine behind the USB plug, so I de-soldered the LED and repositioned it to face forward. I had to add some wire to the board to attach the LED, but it was not hard, and could be done by a beginner.step 8Securing the USB board
After making sure the 12 volt accessory and USB power were working, the package needed to be glued into place to prevent it falling back into the center console. I used a general auto glue that holds tight, but remains slightly flexible.step 9Final install
I let the glue cure overnight. After testing the power out one more time, I slipped the plastic housing back into place.
...And Then There Was One
Rue McClanahan set her alarm this morning to deadly stroke, and now, the actress who paved the old vagina road for Samantha from Sex And The City as Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls, has passed at 76.The actress scored an Emmy for her work on the show in 1987, but had had an active career starting in off-Broadway and regional stages in the 1960s. She played opposite Bea Arthur in Maude, and was a regular in Mama's Family before landing her most famous role. McClanahan was married six times - here's a list of those who've been balls deep: Tom Bish, Norman Hartweg, Peter D'Maio, Gus Fisher, Tom Keel and Morrow Wilson
With McClanahan's death, Warming Glow is predicting Betty White calling it quits within the next 12 months:
"Estelle Getty died in the summer of 2008, followed by Bea Arthur last summer. I don’t mean to take away from the sad event of a person’s death, but I’m just sayin’, if your office has a death pool… you know what to do..."
I don't have much to add because I thought she was already dead. I will say we could be starting another summer of celebrity deaths - it's been a busy week!
Virtual Reality
Avatar Days is a short film by Cormac Kelly about four Irish World Of Warcraft players. The gooch is that instead of just following their lives, they're all replaced on screen with their in-game avatars.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Koonstastrophe
Bayerische Motoren Werke has occasionally invited artists to use its cars as canvases. Sometimes, they get an M1 Group 4 racer painted by Andy Warhol. And sometimes they get a BMW M3 GTS painted by Jeff Koons.Koons, you ask? Yes, he's a far overrated "artist" that will have his seizure inducing crapsterpiece compete in the 24 Hours of Le Mans next week.
"These race cars are lifelike, they are powerful and there is a lot of energy," Koons said. "You can participate with it, add to it and let yourself transcend with its energy. There is a lot of power under that hood and I want to let my ideas transcend with the car — it’s really to connect with that power." That is some pretentious bullshit.
The design isn’t actually painted on the car; it’s a vinyl wrap covered with two layers of clear coat. BMW says the wrap was lighter than paint and it could be applied much more quickly, but I think we all know is that they didn't want to ruin the car by making the paint job permanent. Koons had two months to complete the project, though it looks like something an Intro to Art student did for an assignment.
Koons has wanted to design an art car since 2003, when he first approached BMW about the idea. Looks as though BMW finally got worn down, and for that, our eyes must suffer.
Rate My Stupidity
A Florida (of course!) man was arrested and briefly jailed for posting a local police officer’s home address online. Well, it was RateMyCop.com. Really.“Just because I posted it, I got arrested. It wasn’t like it was the Pentagon Papers,” Robert Brayshaw (35) said. Yes, just point out your crime isn't as big a deal. Soon, murderers can go free as long as it's not more than two dead.
Genius spent nearly three hours in jail and was prosecuted under a 1972 statute making it unlawful to publish personally identifying information of a police officer. Eventually, a federal judge declared the First Amendment trumped Florida’s law meant to protect the privacy of police officers, and now Florida and Tallahassee authorities must pay $60,000 in damages and legal fees to Brayshaw and his ACLU lawyers. That'll come in handy since he's unemployed, and added it's been difficult to get a job because of his 2008 arrest. Not because he's too dull to have common sense.
Brayshaw had a beef with the officer regarding a trespassing flap in which he was not charged, ignorantly admitting she “basically had her information listed publicly in the phone book," as justification. He posted to the site, uses public-records requests to gather the names and, in some cases, badge numbers of thousands of uniformed cops at police departments around the country, and allows users to post comments about police they’ve interacted with.
Brayshaw posted anonymous comments about Officer Annette Garrett, as well as her name and home address — information not normally cataloged by the site. He wrote that Garrett was rude to him when investigating a trespass call at an apartment complex he was managing. “This is the dumbest case in America,” he said, not realizing how dumb it is to post a policeman's personal info on the web.
The authorities subpoenaed RateMyCop and Brayshaw’s internet service provider to learn his identity, then booked him under the Florida law — a misdemeanor carrying up to a year in jail. The case was later dismissed against Brayshaw for procedural reasons, but his balls were just too huge after skipping on a technicality, so he sued, claiming the statute chills his speech. The First Amendment does not protect "true threats, fighting words, incitements to imminent lawless action, and classes of lewd and obscene speech," said the judge, and did not feel that publishing an officer’s phone number and address is "in itself a threat or serious expression of an intent to commit an unlawful act of violence." It's not there so strangers can send a thank you note.
Some cops are real fucking jerks, but if you've got a grudge, that's the last group you want to pick a fight with.
The Only Worthwhile Thing About Indy Racing
Far more dramatic looking than the Webber / Vettel tangle in Turkey over the weekend, but hardly as meaningful to the race. Or the season.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back To The Theater
Once a year you should revisit Jaws and remind yourself of how it's done. A perfect movie, Jaws is just as effective and amazing today - on my hundredth or so viewing - as it was when it was first released. There's very little in Jaws that has really aged, but if the movie were made today it would be a completely and totally different beast.
What if Jaws were made today? Not a remake or a reboot, but what if Spielberg's movie had never happened (but the world of cinema it inspired somehow still did), and somebody took a shot at Peter Benchley's novel in 2010? This is what I think it might look like:• There would be a new title. Jaws is too minimalist these days, so Universal would probably rename the film Jaws: Rise of the Great White.
• JJ Abrams directs from a script by Kurtzman and Orci. While the writers insist that they grew up on the novel, Abrams says that he always preferred The Deep.
• Sam Worthington stars as Chief Brody. He has an extensive backstory where we learn that during his time as an NYPD cop he killed a kid on the Staten Island Ferry. Since then he has been afraid of water, and unwilling to use a gun.
• Michael Cera stars as Matt Hooper. He has an extensive backstory where we learn that his connection to the shark is deeply personal.
• Samuel L. Jackson stars as Quint.
• Zoe Saldana is Ellen Brody. As in the book, she has an affair with Matt Hooper.
• Justin Bieber stars as Michael Brody, who stows away on the Orca before the main trio take off.
• This movie wouldn't keep audiences questioning where the shark came from, or why it's so smart. An extensive shark backstory is developed and included, helping bring the film's runtime to a solid 2:40. It turns out that Hooper's rich dad paid for extensive bioengineering experiments on sharks, and the result is a Great White like we've never seen before.
• Amity Island is too square. The action is moved to Miami Beach or Ibiza (depending on what sort of upfront foreign investments there are).
• It's in 3D IMAX. But it wasn't shot in either format. Duh.
• Of course there's a CGI shark, but this CGI shark will be doing things no other CGI shark has ever done, including insane acrobatics. But more importantly this is a character story, so Andy Serkis will be hired to do the mocap for the CGI shark.
• The shark is loud. Every time the shark glides past the camera or jumps out of the water it's accompanied by a massive outpouring of foley work - whooshes and crashes thunder. Whenever the shark opens its mouth there is the sound of all the animals in the zoo, smashed into one noise.
• The score is by Hans Zimmer, or a member of his factory. It will play over every single second of the motion picture.
• All of the Orca scenes are shot against a greenscreen in a water tank. It's just more reasonable on the budget.
• Producers will boast about the SharkVision scenes, explaining that new FX technology has allowed them to truly recreate the vibrational way that sharks see the world. This is where all that budget went.
• Quint doesn't die. That's too big a bummer. Michael saves him, and the crusty old seaman learns a valuable lesson about friendship.
• The shark is defeated when Brody, remembering a passage in one of the old books he flipped through, realizes this is his Destiny. He is finally able to pull the trigger, exploding the oxygen tank in the shark's mouth. This, of course, happens after a 20 minute aquatic chase through a marina, an off-shore oil platform and a water park.
• The last shot of the film is now a slow pullback to reveal a whole school of Great Whites, closing in on the sandy white beaches of Miami.
• Webisodes are released revealing the important missing moments, like what happened to Ben Gardner, what Hooper did after the cage was destroyed, and how Michael won his school talent show with an original song.
• Producers announce that Jaws: Rise of the Great White is just the beginning of a trilogy. Coming in 2012 is Jaws 2: Red Waters of Vengeance, and in 2013 is the prequel, Jaws: Fall of the Indianapolis. T.I. is cast to play the young Quint in that film.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Quitbook
Today is "Quit Facebook Day", created by people fed up with the social networking site's closed nature and privacy issues. Didn't get the message? Guess they should have kept their accounts a few days longer...Currently there's around 30,000 "committed" quitters, which means it's not going to be a big deal in the scheme of Facebook things, other than similar small blurbs on blogs like this. Will Friendster and MySpace (you still have accounts there that have withered)? Time proves folks will find the next big thing, but even the founders of the Quit Facebook Day movement admit that no other social networking site is quite as useful as Facebook.
But for those who stay, let's hope their Facebook profile has less then 5,000 friends. It's a serious problem when the New York Times asks, "Are 5,001 Friends Too Many"? Or is it? If you're so popular that you've got thousands of "friends", you either need a fan page, or you've got the loosest interpretation of the definition of what a friend is. And you should quit Facebook.
Will There Be A Vote On Ugly Too?
Former lawyer and current plastic surgery victim Greta Van Susteren received an email from "Brian", a viewer of her Fox News program, who said her "brain is empty". To prove his point, she started a poll on her blog: "Who is dumber? Greta, or Brian." Do I need to tell you the results?
Van Susteren, who also has the strike against of being a Scientologist, posted the email without hesitation (or thought):
Greta,
You got that right, you have a mind like a sieve. Your brain is empty. Matter of fact, it is so empty, if you put a pea in your skull it would rattle around like a BB in a boxcar. You said it, gal, not me, but I sure do agree with you. A true blonde.
Brian
Tahlequah, OK
PS How do you get that cush job, anyway?
You may have control on your show, but you're going to find out the hard way the internet is not where you go for personal validation. Especially in poll form.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Big Ass Memorial Weekend
Barbecues! Birthdays for Herr Docktor and JCG! The last F1 race before the road trip to Montreal! Half a dozen new chairs! Are three days enough to fit it all in?
Best of the week: A British scientist says he is the first man in the world to become infected with a computer virus. Serves him right for putting his floppy disk in a corrupted drive.
Dr Mark Gasson had a chip inserted in his hand which enabled him to pass through security doors and activate his mobile phone - basically a sophisticated version of ID chips used to tag pets. And then he infected it with a virus to see how it would transfer...and it did, to external control systems. If other implanted chips had then connected to the system they too would have been corrupted.
The test is a proof of principle that has implications for a future where medical devices such as pacemakers and cochlear implants become more sophisticated, and risk being contaminated by other implants and technology.
Plus: There's billboards, bus-stop ads and television spots for Killers...but thankfully it's putrid evil won't be unleashed until it's release date. There won't be any previews: They're everywhere, featuring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher juggling guns and bantering over super-secret identities.
Critics won't see the film before it appears in theaters because it's a nasty turd, but the marketing spinsters say it's "part of a growing strategy in Hollywood that relies more on social networking to promote new releases instead of riskier movie reviews". The only thing risky about getting your film reviewed is if it's made of unwatchable suck.
Lionsgate has planned a "courtesy screening" for critics the morning the film opens. It's a tactic studios normally use when there's a guaranteedidiot niche audience, such as for horror movies or ones based on video games — the logic being that fans of the genre will show up, regardless of reviews. Is there a genre base for crappy films?
"We want to capitalize on the revolution in social media by letting audiences and critics define this film concurrently," Lionsgate said in a statement. "In today's socially connected marketplace, we all have the ability to share feedback instantly around the world. In keeping with this spirit, Lionsgate and the filmmakers want to give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see Killers simultaneously, and share their thoughts in the medium of their choosing. We felt that this sense of immediacy could be a real asset in the marketing of Killers". Holy shit,that is some misdirection!
And: Music Hack Day was a full weekend of hacking in San Francisco. The main goal of MHD is to "explore and build the next generation of music applications, in which participants will conceptualize, create and present their projects". Music + software + hardware + art + the web = sounds pretty cool to me. Of particular mention is Tristan's The Swinger, a bit of code that takes any song and makes it swing. It does this by taking each beat and time-stretching the first half of each beat while time-shrinking the second half. Here's some examples:
Every Breath You Take
Best of the week: A British scientist says he is the first man in the world to become infected with a computer virus. Serves him right for putting his floppy disk in a corrupted drive.
Dr Mark Gasson had a chip inserted in his hand which enabled him to pass through security doors and activate his mobile phone - basically a sophisticated version of ID chips used to tag pets. And then he infected it with a virus to see how it would transfer...and it did, to external control systems. If other implanted chips had then connected to the system they too would have been corrupted.The test is a proof of principle that has implications for a future where medical devices such as pacemakers and cochlear implants become more sophisticated, and risk being contaminated by other implants and technology.
Plus: There's billboards, bus-stop ads and television spots for Killers...but thankfully it's putrid evil won't be unleashed until it's release date. There won't be any previews: They're everywhere, featuring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher juggling guns and bantering over super-secret identities.
Critics won't see the film before it appears in theaters because it's a nasty turd, but the marketing spinsters say it's "part of a growing strategy in Hollywood that relies more on social networking to promote new releases instead of riskier movie reviews". The only thing risky about getting your film reviewed is if it's made of unwatchable suck.
Lionsgate has planned a "courtesy screening" for critics the morning the film opens. It's a tactic studios normally use when there's a guaranteed
"We want to capitalize on the revolution in social media by letting audiences and critics define this film concurrently," Lionsgate said in a statement. "In today's socially connected marketplace, we all have the ability to share feedback instantly around the world. In keeping with this spirit, Lionsgate and the filmmakers want to give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see Killers simultaneously, and share their thoughts in the medium of their choosing. We felt that this sense of immediacy could be a real asset in the marketing of Killers". Holy shit,that is some misdirection!
And: Music Hack Day was a full weekend of hacking in San Francisco. The main goal of MHD is to "explore and build the next generation of music applications, in which participants will conceptualize, create and present their projects". Music + software + hardware + art + the web = sounds pretty cool to me. Of particular mention is Tristan's The Swinger, a bit of code that takes any song and makes it swing. It does this by taking each beat and time-stretching the first half of each beat while time-shrinking the second half. Here's some examples:
Every Breath You Take
Enter Sandman
White Rabbit
You can convert your own at Swingify, but keep it simple - those MAGNA polyrhythms don't quite translate so smoothly.
Best picture of the week:
Best picture of the week:
wherever this is, crazy shit is about to go down
Best bonus links:
• Elderly Chicago Couple Buried Alive In Trash - It's not like there's a recycling bin for them, is there?
• Lost Boys: The Thirst Trailer...Prepare Thy Greasy Sax Man - You can't kill awful, even if you stake it through the heart. I'll pay for your rental if they don't dedicate the film to Corey Haim.
• Teacher In Trouble After Students Don Klan Robes - There were not enough to share with everybody, so that's a no-no.
• Deadly, Ultra-Pure Heroin Arrives In US - Hooray! Just in time for the three day weekend!
• The 50 Prettiest Porn Stars Of All Time - I take issue with calling them the "prettiest". Or even "stars". Better enjoy them before the penis link below.
• Shark Attacks Most Likely On Sunday In 6 Feet Of Water - I never thought that I'd say going to church may actually be good for you.
• USAF Vehicle Breaks Record For Hypersonic Flight - We're going to bend the definition of vehicle to include scramjet engines launched from a plane. But it is fast!
• The Best Lost Memes, Videos, T-shirts, Fan Art, And More / A List Of Unanswered ‘Lost’ Questions / Lost Finale Got Almost As Many Viewers As Mr. Belvedere / ABC Admits Lost's Final Moments Were Meaningless - Lost may be over, but there's still lots to sink your teeth into.
• Medical Advice For Head-Bangers - Whip that head around harder? Because that's what I would have suspected.
• I Thought Fat People Were Supposed To Be Jolly - Fortunately they're still predictably disgusting.
• Angry Palin Neighbor Offered House To Journalist - Karma is a bitch, you dumb bitch next door.
• Clip Art Makes Everything Shit - If you use it, you're already abusing it.
• Lohan Makes Movie Poster, Not Movie - It was the biggest Hollywood production she could manage. In-between arrests. And clubbing.
• Government: About 45 Million Americans Don't Buckle Up - And the roads will soon be more wide open for me. Keep it up!
• People On Poppers - If you can't make it to the S&M ball, buy the book.
• Mobile Phone Number Suspended After Three Users Die In 10 Years - If you end up getting it, don't bother with call waiting.
• Re-cut: The Jesse James Nightline Interview In 20 Seconds - Essence of douchebag, distilled and concentrated.
Worst of the week: A rural Mississippi school district that was sued by a lesbian student who wanted to bring a same-sex date to the high school prom is denying accusations it routed her to a "sham prom" at a country club while most of her schoolmates partied elsewhere. Wow, that's more effort than that episode of G-Force where they made them think their plane took off when it really didn't.
The Itawamba County School District addressed the claims made by the ACLU on behalf of Constance McMillen, who attended a prom at the Fulton Country Club that drew fewer than 10 other students from her high school. Most of her classmates attended a separate event at the nearby Evergreen Community Center, to which McMillen was not invited and saw in pictures on the internet. At the time, McMillen had already sued the district over its policy banning same-sex prom dates and for canceling an April 2 school-sponsored prom after the teenager pressed to bring her girlfriend to the event and wear a tuxedo.
A District Judge had ruled in March that the district had violated McMillen's rights, but didn't force the district to reinstate the prom. District officials had told the judge that McMillen was free to attend a parent-sponsored prom, but officials "deny that the parents decided instead to hold two proms, one for the plaintiff and one for her classmates."
No date has been set for the lawsuit to go to trial, but the case has led other school districts to reconsider their prom policies. And their secret prom policies.
And: A Foxconn Technology worker tried to kill himself, becoming the 13th person to commit suicide or attempt to do so this year at the company which makes high-tech products for industry giants such as Apple, Dell and Hewlett-Packard. China, still looking to be a world leader!
Police said the man, who began working there two months ago, survived after cutting himself in his dormitory room at the factory. The 12 previous suicide attempts involved workers who jumped from buildings. Two survived, so I guess it wasn't 12 attempts, but 10 suicides and two attempts. Another worker killed himself in January at a factory in northern China, because that's team-building.
Hours earlier, a Foxconn chairman led a media tour of the industrial park and promised to work harder to prevent more deaths. Maybe they ought to lock the roof access. They showed off a motherboard factory, hot line center and even a swimming pool for employees. The walled-in industrial park, where 300,000 people work, looks like a small city, with palm tree-lined streets, fast-food restaurants, banks and a bookstore among huge factory buildings and towering dormitories. And soul crushing despair.
Safety nets were being installed on buildings and more counselors were being hired. He also said all the employees were being divided into 50-member groups, whose members would watch for signs of emotional trouble within their group. Or make a mass-suicide pact. Labor activists accuse the company of having a rigid management style, a too-fast assembly line and overwork. Foxconn denies the allegations, and noted that productivity and profits were up for the ninth straight quarter.
Worst picture of the week:
the monster stirs
Worst bonus links:
• Jamaica: 73 Killed In Hunt For Alleged Drug Lord - Take it irie, mon. Just tell dem to chill out and give up da big boss.
• Today's College Students Lack Empathy - Whatever.
• Lombardi `Not Optimistic’ On Frolov - Let the skeptical conversations begin!
• Trump Decides Winner For 'Celebrity Apprentice': Bret Michaels / Bret Michaels: I'm Ready To Party After Winning Celebrity Apprentice - Nice publicity stunt. Gary Coleman would disagree that a brain hemorrhage is smart career move, but you ride that wave, Bret.
• Father Tries To Auction Off Eight-Year-Old Son - Should have gone on eBay instead of a street corner. Though street corners don't need Paypal.
• Flood Of Frogs Shuts Down Major Greek Highway - Didn't we already have Passover? And isn't supposed to be in Egypt?
• Up In Smoke: Indonesian Child, Teen Smokers Rising / Two-Pack-A-Day Smoking Baby Totally Cooler Than You - See, Muslim fundamentalist countries do have their ideological shit together. It is the true way...to lung cancer.
• Suits With Custom iPad Pockets, For The Fanboy On The Go / iPad Dress Isn't Completely Mortifying - Bad enough to be an asshole wielding an iPad, but to wear special asshole clothes? We already saw the iPad, we know you're one.
• Australia Expels Israeli Diplomat Over Dubai Hit - Bummer. That's one of the cushiest jobs in the world. I guess everybody is going to be gunning for the Swedish consulate spot in Canada.
• Ecclestone Convoy Unwittingly Carries Illegal Immigrants - Way to go, Bernie. Too busy counting your piles of money and drinking champagne off model's asses to lock down your cargo?
• Two Dead After Collision With A Flatbed Trailer Carrying 17 Million Bees - Officially, the worst death ever.
• Perez Hilton: Christina Aguilera's Career Is Failing Miserably / Ellen DeGeneres Starts Own Record Label - The music industry is imploding, as determined by the most noise about music being made by two people that have no right and no reason to be associated with it at all.
• Something Sad And Depressing And Horrible That Has Vaguely To Do With Thundercats - If they find him - or parts of him, it won't be a happy ending. Yeah, it's that kind of story.
• Fixing Oil Spill My Responsibility, Obama Says - No, it's not. It's BP's. And all those greedy senators whose pockets are lined with their bribe dollars from authorization.
• A (Not So) Complete History Of Penis Tattoos - You don't want to look. But you're going to.
• North Korea Accuses South Of Faking Warship Sinking - No country wants to admit they killed 42 of their own sailors for no reason, so it makes perfect sense that they'd make it up and blame it on their neighbors. It only works for Koreans (sorry Iran!).
• Man Spends 24 Hours At Starbucks, Fails To Caffeine Overdose - I'm surprised he made it half the day with Jason Mraz playing on the speakers without being tranqued on dark roast.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)