Best of the week: A British scientist says he is the first man in the world to become infected with a computer virus. Serves him right for putting his floppy disk in a corrupted drive.
Dr Mark Gasson had a chip inserted in his hand which enabled him to pass through security doors and activate his mobile phone - basically a sophisticated version of ID chips used to tag pets. And then he infected it with a virus to see how it would transfer...and it did, to external control systems. If other implanted chips had then connected to the system they too would have been corrupted.The test is a proof of principle that has implications for a future where medical devices such as pacemakers and cochlear implants become more sophisticated, and risk being contaminated by other implants and technology.
Plus: There's billboards, bus-stop ads and television spots for Killers...but thankfully it's putrid evil won't be unleashed until it's release date. There won't be any previews: They're everywhere, featuring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher juggling guns and bantering over super-secret identities.
Critics won't see the film before it appears in theaters because it's a nasty turd, but the marketing spinsters say it's "part of a growing strategy in Hollywood that relies more on social networking to promote new releases instead of riskier movie reviews". The only thing risky about getting your film reviewed is if it's made of unwatchable suck.
Lionsgate has planned a "courtesy screening" for critics the morning the film opens. It's a tactic studios normally use when there's a guaranteed
"We want to capitalize on the revolution in social media by letting audiences and critics define this film concurrently," Lionsgate said in a statement. "In today's socially connected marketplace, we all have the ability to share feedback instantly around the world. In keeping with this spirit, Lionsgate and the filmmakers want to give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see Killers simultaneously, and share their thoughts in the medium of their choosing. We felt that this sense of immediacy could be a real asset in the marketing of Killers". Holy shit,that is some misdirection!
And: Music Hack Day was a full weekend of hacking in San Francisco. The main goal of MHD is to "explore and build the next generation of music applications, in which participants will conceptualize, create and present their projects". Music + software + hardware + art + the web = sounds pretty cool to me. Of particular mention is Tristan's The Swinger, a bit of code that takes any song and makes it swing. It does this by taking each beat and time-stretching the first half of each beat while time-shrinking the second half. Here's some examples:
Every Breath You Take
Enter Sandman
White Rabbit
Best picture of the week:
wherever this is, crazy shit is about to go down
Best bonus links:
• Elderly Chicago Couple Buried Alive In Trash - It's not like there's a recycling bin for them, is there?
• Lost Boys: The Thirst Trailer...Prepare Thy Greasy Sax Man - You can't kill awful, even if you stake it through the heart. I'll pay for your rental if they don't dedicate the film to Corey Haim.
• Teacher In Trouble After Students Don Klan Robes - There were not enough to share with everybody, so that's a no-no.
• Deadly, Ultra-Pure Heroin Arrives In US - Hooray! Just in time for the three day weekend!
• The 50 Prettiest Porn Stars Of All Time - I take issue with calling them the "prettiest". Or even "stars". Better enjoy them before the penis link below.
• Shark Attacks Most Likely On Sunday In 6 Feet Of Water - I never thought that I'd say going to church may actually be good for you.
• USAF Vehicle Breaks Record For Hypersonic Flight - We're going to bend the definition of vehicle to include scramjet engines launched from a plane. But it is fast!
• The Best Lost Memes, Videos, T-shirts, Fan Art, And More / A List Of Unanswered ‘Lost’ Questions / Lost Finale Got Almost As Many Viewers As Mr. Belvedere / ABC Admits Lost's Final Moments Were Meaningless - Lost may be over, but there's still lots to sink your teeth into.
• Medical Advice For Head-Bangers - Whip that head around harder? Because that's what I would have suspected.
• I Thought Fat People Were Supposed To Be Jolly - Fortunately they're still predictably disgusting.
• Angry Palin Neighbor Offered House To Journalist - Karma is a bitch, you dumb bitch next door.
• Clip Art Makes Everything Shit - If you use it, you're already abusing it.
• Lohan Makes Movie Poster, Not Movie - It was the biggest Hollywood production she could manage. In-between arrests. And clubbing.
• Government: About 45 Million Americans Don't Buckle Up - And the roads will soon be more wide open for me. Keep it up!
• People On Poppers - If you can't make it to the S&M ball, buy the book.
• Mobile Phone Number Suspended After Three Users Die In 10 Years - If you end up getting it, don't bother with call waiting.
• Re-cut: The Jesse James Nightline Interview In 20 Seconds - Essence of douchebag, distilled and concentrated.
Worst of the week: A rural Mississippi school district that was sued by a lesbian student who wanted to bring a same-sex date to the high school prom is denying accusations it routed her to a "sham prom" at a country club while most of her schoolmates partied elsewhere. Wow, that's more effort than that episode of G-Force where they made them think their plane took off when it really didn't.
The Itawamba County School District addressed the claims made by the ACLU on behalf of Constance McMillen, who attended a prom at the Fulton Country Club that drew fewer than 10 other students from her high school. Most of her classmates attended a separate event at the nearby Evergreen Community Center, to which McMillen was not invited and saw in pictures on the internet. At the time, McMillen had already sued the district over its policy banning same-sex prom dates and for canceling an April 2 school-sponsored prom after the teenager pressed to bring her girlfriend to the event and wear a tuxedo.
A District Judge had ruled in March that the district had violated McMillen's rights, but didn't force the district to reinstate the prom. District officials had told the judge that McMillen was free to attend a parent-sponsored prom, but officials "deny that the parents decided instead to hold two proms, one for the plaintiff and one for her classmates."
No date has been set for the lawsuit to go to trial, but the case has led other school districts to reconsider their prom policies. And their secret prom policies.
And: A Foxconn Technology worker tried to kill himself, becoming the 13th person to commit suicide or attempt to do so this year at the company which makes high-tech products for industry giants such as Apple, Dell and Hewlett-Packard. China, still looking to be a world leader!
Police said the man, who began working there two months ago, survived after cutting himself in his dormitory room at the factory. The 12 previous suicide attempts involved workers who jumped from buildings. Two survived, so I guess it wasn't 12 attempts, but 10 suicides and two attempts. Another worker killed himself in January at a factory in northern China, because that's team-building.
Hours earlier, a Foxconn chairman led a media tour of the industrial park and promised to work harder to prevent more deaths. Maybe they ought to lock the roof access. They showed off a motherboard factory, hot line center and even a swimming pool for employees. The walled-in industrial park, where 300,000 people work, looks like a small city, with palm tree-lined streets, fast-food restaurants, banks and a bookstore among huge factory buildings and towering dormitories. And soul crushing despair.
Safety nets were being installed on buildings and more counselors were being hired. He also said all the employees were being divided into 50-member groups, whose members would watch for signs of emotional trouble within their group. Or make a mass-suicide pact. Labor activists accuse the company of having a rigid management style, a too-fast assembly line and overwork. Foxconn denies the allegations, and noted that productivity and profits were up for the ninth straight quarter.
Worst picture of the week:
the monster stirs
Worst bonus links:
• Jamaica: 73 Killed In Hunt For Alleged Drug Lord - Take it irie, mon. Just tell dem to chill out and give up da big boss.
• Today's College Students Lack Empathy - Whatever.
• Lombardi `Not Optimistic’ On Frolov - Let the skeptical conversations begin!
• Trump Decides Winner For 'Celebrity Apprentice': Bret Michaels / Bret Michaels: I'm Ready To Party After Winning Celebrity Apprentice - Nice publicity stunt. Gary Coleman would disagree that a brain hemorrhage is smart career move, but you ride that wave, Bret.
• Father Tries To Auction Off Eight-Year-Old Son - Should have gone on eBay instead of a street corner. Though street corners don't need Paypal.
• Flood Of Frogs Shuts Down Major Greek Highway - Didn't we already have Passover? And isn't supposed to be in Egypt?
• Up In Smoke: Indonesian Child, Teen Smokers Rising / Two-Pack-A-Day Smoking Baby Totally Cooler Than You - See, Muslim fundamentalist countries do have their ideological shit together. It is the true way...to lung cancer.
• Suits With Custom iPad Pockets, For The Fanboy On The Go / iPad Dress Isn't Completely Mortifying - Bad enough to be an asshole wielding an iPad, but to wear special asshole clothes? We already saw the iPad, we know you're one.
• Australia Expels Israeli Diplomat Over Dubai Hit - Bummer. That's one of the cushiest jobs in the world. I guess everybody is going to be gunning for the Swedish consulate spot in Canada.
• Ecclestone Convoy Unwittingly Carries Illegal Immigrants - Way to go, Bernie. Too busy counting your piles of money and drinking champagne off model's asses to lock down your cargo?
• Two Dead After Collision With A Flatbed Trailer Carrying 17 Million Bees - Officially, the worst death ever.
• Perez Hilton: Christina Aguilera's Career Is Failing Miserably / Ellen DeGeneres Starts Own Record Label - The music industry is imploding, as determined by the most noise about music being made by two people that have no right and no reason to be associated with it at all.
• Something Sad And Depressing And Horrible That Has Vaguely To Do With Thundercats - If they find him - or parts of him, it won't be a happy ending. Yeah, it's that kind of story.
• Fixing Oil Spill My Responsibility, Obama Says - No, it's not. It's BP's. And all those greedy senators whose pockets are lined with their bribe dollars from authorization.
• A (Not So) Complete History Of Penis Tattoos - You don't want to look. But you're going to.
• North Korea Accuses South Of Faking Warship Sinking - No country wants to admit they killed 42 of their own sailors for no reason, so it makes perfect sense that they'd make it up and blame it on their neighbors. It only works for Koreans (sorry Iran!).
• Man Spends 24 Hours At Starbucks, Fails To Caffeine Overdose - I'm surprised he made it half the day with Jason Mraz playing on the speakers without being tranqued on dark roast.
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