Why Not Just Write Some Shitty, Manic Poetry Instead

Depressed over a breakup? British advice columnist Danny Dyer says the solution is to "cut your ex's face, and then no one will want her." That'll let her know you're not the bitter one that can't get over it.

A lovelorn 23-year-old wrote to Dyer saying he "broke up with my missus a few months ago and can't seem to get over her." Dyer's response:

You've got nothing to worry about, son. I'd suggest going out on a rampage with the boys, getting on the booze and smashing anything that moves. Then, when some bird falls for you, you can turn the tables and break her heart. Of course, the other option is to cut your ex's face, and then no one will want her...

Not surprisingly, the "Ask Danny" column runs in ZOO magazine, one of the last remaining lad mags still in circulation. And like all other PG boy wank publications, they are not known for having a progressive attitude toward women. But outcry over Dyer's apparent advocacy of domestic violence has embarrassed even ZOO, who don't bat an eye when publishing things like "Topless World Cup Countdown!" and "Babe Election!".

A spokesperson for ZOO publisher Bauer Media told the Guardian that the column was the result of a "regrettable production error." Error? Like letting things go to press without an editor? The same explanation was posted on ZOO's website. And Dyer himself says:

This is totally out of order, I am totally devastated. I have been completely misquoted. This is not the advice I would give any member of the public I do not condone violence against women.

"Misquoted" in your own column? Or do you not write your own copy? Maybe somebody typoed, when it should have said "slit that bitch's throat".