Gay 'Ol (Pas)time

While I was getting a filling fixed this morning, my dentist and I were talking about television and the conversation turned to the misguided and controversial recent Newsweek article about gay actors. And that's not the only big sexual orientation story of late.

With the announcement of Elena Kagan as a Supreme Court nominee, there's also been talk about her, ah, preference. Folks lost their shit when the Wall Street Journal's decided to run a photo of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball with their coverage. Were they trying to imply she's a lesbian? Assuming every extracurricular activity comes with a stereotype, then yes.

On that controversy, Gawker pointed out that softball=lesbian:

We weren't suggesting that every woman who occasionally picks up a bat and an over-sized round ball is the sort of woman who has an irresistible appetite for vagina. It's just a stereotype. But editors at the Wall Street Journal were well aware of that when they ran the photo. If they'd printed a picture of David Souter at a Liza Minnelli concert, well, that would probably mean they were calling him a big old queen. That's the way these things work. Every activity comes with assumptions. Here are a few activities that may—but occasionally may not!—tell you something about what someone does in the bedroom...

Figure skating: Gay
Hockey: Straight

Knitting: Straight
Macrame: Gay

Attending a Kathy Griffin show: Gay
Attending a Dane Cook show: Straight (and tasteless)

Renovating your kitchen: Straight
Hanging out at Home Depot: Lesbian

Teabagging (in a strip club): Gay
Teabagging (on the street in a George Washington costume): Old, white conservative asshole

Shoe shopping with the gals: Straight
Birkenstock shopping with the gals: Lesbian

Cycling: Straight
Rollerblading: Gay

Star Wars fanatic: Straight
Dancing with the Stars fanatic: Gay (or an old white lady)

Going to a Lady Gaga concert with your friends: Gay
Going to a Lady Gaga concert with your girlfriend: Gay (you just don't know it yet)

Watching Sports Center: Straight
Watching Project Runway: Gay

Field Hockey: Lesbian
Lacrosse: Entitled upper-middle-class white asshole

Loving NASCAR: Straight (and probably a redneck)
Loving Jeff Gordon: Gay

Making out with a member of the same sex if you're a guy: Gay
Making out with a member of the same sex if you're a girl: Straight (and slutty)

Joining the military reserves: Straight (if you're a man)
Joining the military reserves: Lesbian (if you're a woman)

Mowing the lawn: Straight
Letting your garden grow: Lesbian

Traveling: Straight
Traveling with a companion: Gay

Doing the crossword puzzle: Completely neutral
Doing Sudoku: Totally gay