Hang Down Slang, Or The Dirty Half-Dozen

The always excellent Susannah Breslin (aka The Reverse Cowgirl) brought this turd gem to my attention:

A brand new dance craze is sweeping the nation — or at least YouTube. It’s got a dirty name, all the young folks are doing it, and if you’re a girl, you can’t do it. Now, the kinky move is kicking up a controversy. So, what is it, and what’s all the fuss about?

It’s called the Dick Slang, and it made its sensation-generating internet debut last week, it seems, when a group of young African-American men uploaded a two-minute, eight-second clip of themselves demonstrating how the Dick Slang is done.

For those who remain unclear on the Dick Slang concept, the move isn’t complicated. The young man plants his feet, swivels his hips, looks down, and, well, watches his dick slang — or “swing.” The effect is impressive. Several of the video’s half-dozen Dick Slangers are either frighteningly well-endowed or have stuffed their pants for an enhanced on-camera performance. When it comes to competitive Dick Slanging, the bigger the package, the mightier the move.

Since, the video has been watched by over 280,000 viewers and climbing, generated scores of shocked, outraged, and impressed comments, and prompted impassioned response videos mostly criticizing the Dick Slang phenomenon and its Slangers. “Fire your damn choreographer,” counsels BiggaBX, who deems Dick Slanging “Gayyyy!!” Meanwhile, TheOneofakind17 posted a reaction video of himself watching the Dick Slang video for the first time, and he is not amused.

“You straight dudes never cease to amaze me,” he concludes, shaking his head. Perhaps most savvily, one YouTuber, Wa2tv, created a montage homage: “Moments in Modern Day Minstrel (#Dick Slang).” The titles read: “Makes me wanna bleach my skin … what about you?” Soon enough, the Dick Slang will hit MTV, young white kids will start doing it on dance floors across the nation, and parents will have something new to wail about — the dance that dare not speak its name.

It was either make this video or take a practice college prep, and I think they made the decision that suited them best.