Self Trumping

While mogul / reality TV star Donald Trump continues his cocktease of jumping into the 2012 presidential race, there's already sketchy issues shadowing him.

First, his service during Vietnam...or lack thereof, courtesy of The Smoking Gun.  The Donald credits a "high draft number" to keeping him out of combat, though they chalk that up to  five student and medical deferments.

The campaign trail, and even the trail leading up to it must make memories fuzzy.  During a TV interview, Trump said, “I actually got lucky because I had a very high draft number. I’ll never forget, that was an amazing period of time in my life.  I was going to the Wharton School of Finance, and I was watching as they did the draft numbers and I got a very, very high number and those numbers never got up to.” No mention of "deferment" anywhere in there at all.

In fact, his number (356) was drawn during the December 1969 draft lottery, some 18 months after he'd graduated Wharton.  Though if he has memories of things a year and a half before they happen, he should be president!  Here's the Trump draft dodge timeline:

June 1964 - Trump gets a Class 2-S student deferment while attending Fordam University

December 1965 - Trump gets his second Class 2-S student deferment

November 1966 - Trump is reclassified reclassified as 1-A, "available for military service"

December 1966 - Trump get his classification switched back to 2-S

January 1968 - Trump gets his fourth Class 2-S student deferment prior to graduation for the University of Pennsylvania

July 1968 -  Trump is again classified as as 1-A, available for service

October 1968 - Trump's classification was switched to 1-Y, which meant he was qualified for military service “only in time of national emergency.”  This is due to an Armed Forces physical examination that netted a "DISQ” result (though it is not clear why he did not pass).

February 1972 - Trump's classification changes to 4-F, which takes the place of the abolished 1-Y classification, covered those not qualified for military service.

Given Trump's comments against the Chinese, you'd have at least thought he'd fought a land war in Asia, but even without going to Vietnam, ol' Donny still has it in for that region of the world.  "China is raping this country," he said, pointing out that the United States has fallen short on technology and innovation. That quote coming from the official Donald Trump Obama Birth Certificate Credit Tour.

What exactly is the implication though for helping a rapist? Because what is not in that quote, or addressed by Trump - just like his draft situation, are some contradictory things. Like his menswear line is made in China. Now, don't you think that's something he ought to know about his own company if he's going to get on a pedestal and make a issue of foreigners getting their hooks into the U.S.?

Clearly he's jockeying for a Republican nod, as they love to complain about how our country is losing jobs and power against foreign competitors, yet they're responsible for selling out the country to increase their own profits with the cheap foreign labor. No wonder they're the party with harsher immigration policies - it's not about keeping aliens out of our country and from our jobs, but more to keep aliens working in their home countries!

500 Days Of Britta

Infantile Brains And Names

I've noted in the past how LiveScience.com sucks peen and try to avoid their idiocy, but when paired up with another topic I have a virulent response to - shitty baby names - I have a knee-jerk reaction.

To call them the USA Today of scientific websites actually besmirches USA Today worse than that cotton-candy-hollow newspaper is to other print editions. You could call them the People Magazine of scientific websites. Or the WB of scientific websites. Or the Brett Ratner of scientific websites. Or the Nickelback of scientific websites. This could go on and one, but you get the point...

It's insulting to both science and journalism the awful shit they post, and their recent article, "The Most Hated Baby Names In America", is a perfect storm of the mediocrity they represent.

To read a post is like falling into a black hole - time and space compress at the event horizon to become indistinguishable. It completely explains why an article links back to other posts that have no real connection to the present one, yet are being supplied as if they have context or relevance.  Only through the sheer awfulness of their hack writers can they make an article about baby names service links back to articles like such:

•Saying that 10% of people in a British baby name survey said they used the name of a famous person...and that links that back to the article "As Elvis Turns 75, Celebrity Worship Alive And Well", which is about narcissism why society has an obsession with the idea of celebrity - and not a single mention at all about babies or names.

• Using a quote from a baby book author that the top hated name - Nevaeh, symbolizes "what people don't like in modern baby names", - and inserts a link to an article "Babies in Frontier States Have More Unusual Names", which makes no sense.  That article says that as you move west, unusual baby names are more common...so how are they gaining popularity if they're disliked?  And establishing that names are less traditional geographically has no bearing on it...unless the symbolic thing that is disliked is where the people live. Why would this be included in there?

It's also worth pointing out that all of this is before they even get into the substance of the article, which, if you can remember after all the detours and un-relevant paragraphs of filler is to cover the most hated baby names.  I guess they must get paid by how many clicks their links get, so the staff just daisy chain all their articles together...oh, wait, they're also trying to drive up ad views with the superfluous clicks - because nothing screams scientific integrity like deliberately poor writing just to create sponsorship revenue.  But we digress (just like their articles)...

When it finally comes to the most hated baby names, Live Science.crap falls back on Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby.  You see, Wattenberg did an informal survey of hated names for her blog, and because it was Live Science.crap, of course they'd go with somebody who also used poor  methodology.  Like looking at general-interest online message boards online for for conversations about baby names that people disliked.  Or motorcycle travel forum, a video game fan board and several parenting forums.  Wattenberg deliberately avoided loading up on message boards specifically for baby names, with the belief that "name enthusiasts tend to know trends and might skew the results".  Skew what results?  Somebody forgot to explain to her that something subjective as disliking a name is neither a trend nor a result of being a baby name enthusiast (whatever the fuck that is).

Live Science.crap notes Wattenberg is quick to point out that the survey isn't scientific, 'but it does have the advantage of capturing the names people spontaneously hate".  As opposed to calculated hate, right?  "A formal survey that gave people an option to rank names would likely bias people by putting ideas into their heads", Wattenberg said.  No, you can't make me hate Neveah more or less than I already do, whether you include it on your list or not.  And here's the list:

Girls:

1. Nevaeh
2. Destiny
3. Madison
4. Mackenzie
5. McKenna
6. Addison
7. Gertrude
8. Kaitlyn
9. Makayla
10. Bertha
11. Hope

Boys:

1. Jayden
2. Brayden
3. Aiden
4. Kaden
5. Hunter
6. Hayden
7. Bentley
8. Tristan
9. Michael
10. Jackson

So according to Wattenberg, people hate gender-bending names (when a masculine name becomes feminine) or odd spellings.  Similarly sounding boys names and "Mc"-names for girls also made folks cringe.  Not surprisingly, the participants were overwhelmingly female and under 60.  Rather than just end the post there with the info, or only have had a post that talks about baby names (which would have been a very short article), they go on to talk about how parents choose baby names deciding between "easy versus unique", or "why names pop" - and become popular.  Yes, it's more filler and links because neither of those relate to the most hated baby names.

Wattenberg said the response to list was so strong that she's hoping to conduct a more systematic survey of a larger, more defined sample of people (read: correctly take a survey), but stresses she "doesn't want to label names 'good' or 'bad'...but it could be useful for parents to know how others will react to their prospective name".  A little hard to avoid labeling if your list is called the "most hated", wouldn't you say? The real study should be why these names are popular and trending currently even though they are also highly despised.  And in perfect closing, they squeeze their idiot expert for a quote that really doesn't encapsulate anything that was said:   "Everybody is looking for this impossible dream, which is a name that everybody knows, everybody loves and nobody is using."

Cherry Pits

Don Cherry was once known for coaching the Boston Bruins and playing only one professional hockey game for them, but for better part of the last 30 years has been part of the "Hockey Night in Canada" program. And his shitty taste in suits have become legendary. One site attempts to note the worst of the worst...

Guerres Des Étoilles Existentielles

Grab A Food Rake And Dig Into Your Tray Tray

From last weeks episode of Parks & Rec, somebody put together a site with all the different things Tom Haverford has nicknames for...

Burgers = Moo Pies

Salads = Leaf Piles

Pizza = Gangsta Bread

Apples = Teacher Candy

Biscuits = Butter Boats

Muffins = Naked Cupcakes

Crackers = Lame Cookies

Shrimp = Tiny-Ass Lobster

Fried Chicken = Fry-Fry Chicky-Chick

Chicken Parmesan = Chicky-Chicky Parm-Parm

Root Beer = Super Water

And there's more...

Certified, Bitches

Dear Birthers,

Fuck you!

Love, Anyone with half a brain in their head.

5 Year Old Fast 5 Furious

For Bakers Who Drink

Can't shake that sweet tooth but still want to get fucked up? Here's your drink!

Flavored vodka is nothing new, but this may be the most disgusting thing in a while - Cupcake Vodka. Fruit flavors I get, but cupcake varities? There's Original, While Chiffon, Devil's Food, and Frosting. Not sold? Here's the official PR slant:

Cupcake Vodka Original is six-times distilled to remove impurities while delivering a mouth-feel reminiscent of an indulgent delicious treat.

How about their featured cocktail? Cupcake Cabana (with Cupcake Chiffon, naturally):

Ingredients
2 oz Cupcake Chiffon Vodka
1 Med Sized Chunk of Pineapple
1.5 oz Passion Fruit Nectar
1 Small Chunk of Banana
Perrier or Soda Water

Yum (not really)...and there's also Apple Crumb Cupcake, Chocolate Chippy Cupcake, and Orange Passion Cupcake.  Hmmm...I'm still not ready to go down a confection style beverage.  I'm not even ready for a vodka infused cupcake.

Superclap!

In 2009, nearly a quarter of strains of gonorrhea in America were resistant to penicillin, as well as and other commonly used antibiotics. Last year, some strains gained resistance all drugs doctors have to treat the the STD. What's next for 2011?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provided this scary data reminded all that gonorrhea could spread to the blood or joints, and could be life-threatening if left untreated. Folks infected with gonorrhea typically show no symptoms, although it can lead to complications, such as infertility and in women, chronic pelvic pain, and in men, a painful testicular condition known as epididymitis.

This info was brought to you by the perils of having sex.

Jellymongers

Must Be A Hell Of A Read

Interested in Peter Lawrence's The Making of a Fly?  Published in 1992, it's currently out of print and beneficial to developmental biologists. And if you've got $23,698,655.93, you can pick up a new copy!

A used copy sells for only $35, but brand new, you'll get raped in the pocketbook. It was the work of an algorithmic pricing strategy between two companies, Bordeebook and Profnath.

Michael Eisen, who tracked this price escalation, first noted the Bordeebook was 1.270589 times the price of the copy offered by Profnath. Shortly after another price increase, the Bordeebook copy was 1.270589 times Profnath again. Basically, Profnath set their price to be 0.9983 times Bordeebook's price once a day. The prices would be fairly close for hours, until Bordeebook "noticed" Profnath's change and raised their price to 1.270589 times Profnath's higher price. The pattern continued perfectly for the next week of his observation.

Everybody is worried that Skynet is going to take out the human race, but it could be Amazon and a program that kills it with over the top prices first.

Tunnelban

If the Afghans can't keep their prisoners in jail, then the terrorist have won.

To call 480 inmates escaping a massive security breach is still understating the the issue. Early Monday morning, prison officials found that the inmates - nearly all of them Taliban militants, were missing from their cells. It was then they discovered the tunnel through which they made their getaway.

Boastfully, the Taliban said the prison break was five months in the making, with diggers starting the tunnel from under a nearby house while they arranged for inmates to get keys so that they could open their cells on the night of the escape. Clearly the work of insiders!

Intelligence reports had been given to prison officials a number of times that the Taliban were planning some sort of operation involving the prison. The prison break also came less than two weeks after the Kandahar police chief was killed by a suicide bomber inside his heavily defended office compound.

Provincial officials said troops have already caught 71 of those who escaped and killed two who tried to resist.  Good luck getting the other 307!

Ben Crane, On Dance

The Film Chronologies Of Derek Eads

Derek Eads is keeping track...

Play Time

University Of Prons

Tuition is expensive for college, even with a scholarship, so there's got to be another way for a young girl to earn a few dollars, right?

Elizabeth Hawkenson is your typical girl next door. She's an undergrad persuing geography and liberal arts and even playing in the school band. And she'll have sex on camera for two grand.

It's a simple "casting couch" format: a guy brings a pretty, naive young girl into his office, thinking she’s just auditioning for a modeling job...and has to show how much we wants to get it. Hawkenson knew she was going in there it was for sex (she had been doing clothed modeling and finally gave in when she found herself short for tuition), and was assured the video would only appear on pay site...until it found it's way to free porn sites.

The scene for Backroom Casting Couch showed Hawkenson flashing her student I.D. for the cameras to prove she was over the age of 18, and apparently, it didn't go over well some alumni. A letter to the Board of Regents demanded they revoke the girl's five-figure scholarship:

"As an ASU alumnus, I object to Ms. Hawkenson's choice to identify herself as an ASUASU Student Code of Conduct. On behalf of my fellow ASU alumni, I demand that Ms. Hawkenson's $32,000 New American Scholar Award be revoked immediately. A young woman who brings shame on her university in such a public and degrading way does not deserve the financial support of that university."

There's good news though. The Phoenix New Times reported the Board of Regents said they never received such a letter. Hawkenson's scholarship is still intact and she's still enrolled. Several websites say the letter may have been a hoax from 4chan.

See, everybody loves a porn story with a happy ending.

Welcome Your Pomaceous Overlords

They know where you've been...and they're reaping the profits.

Apple posted a first quarter revenue of $24.67 billion, as sales figures grew 83% and profit lept a staggering 95% - both new records for the company. By the end of the year, the company should exceed $100 billion in sales. for the full-year. Must be nice to get $6 billion in earnings in just a few months...

The company more than 18.5 million iPhones in the last three months - a 113% increase over last year. Mac computer sales were over 3.75 million units (a 28% increase) and close to 4.7 million iPads. Let's hope they keep making money, because there could be a hell of a backlash soon...

Security researchers have discovered that the iPhone keeps track of everywhere you go...and saves every detail, which later gets copied to the computer when the two are synchronised. The file contains not only the latitude and longitude of the phone's recorded coordinates, but also a timestamp. Yes, that means anyone who stole the phone or accessed the computer could discover details about the owner's movements using a simple program. The recording of data seems to have started with Apple's iOS 4 update to the phone's operating system from June 2010.

In 2009, there was criticism of Google for their "Latitude" system, which allowed people to enable their mobile to give out details of their location to trusted contacts. By contrast, the iPhone system appears to record the data whether or not the user agrees. The company did not comment on why the file is created, whether it can be disabled, if if that information is transmitted to Apple itself. Security experts argue that if the data isn't required for anything, then it shouldn't be stored or archived on phones or computers, but speculate it could be to yield data for future mobile advertising targeted by location.

Apple can legitimately claim that it has permission to collect the data, based on a paragraph about "location-based services" that's barely 0.005% of the enitre 15,200-word terms and conditions for the iTunes program. It states:

"Apple and our partners and licensees may collect, use, and share precise location data, including the real-time geographic location of your Apple computer or device. This location data is collected anonymously in a form that does not personally identify you and is used by Apple and our partners and licensees to provide and improve location-based products and services. For example, we may share geographic location with application providers when you opt in to their location services."

Nice loophole, which should keep them out of trouble until the info is used negatively by a legal or governmental entity. But hey, there's a reason they call it the "Cult of Apple"...

Luv Deluxe

Sometimes you say, "hey, I know that girl!"...well, I kinda do a little bit.

No Love For Jersey In The Big Apple

I'll just leave this here:

A New Jersey woman was stabbed in the face with a pen on a New York City subway train after she tried to stop a man from lighting a cigarette.

The assault occurred on a crowded No. 3 train near the Chambers Street station during Tuesday's morning rush.

Witnesses told the Daily News and the New York Post that an argument quickly escalated when Evelyn Seeger asked the man not to smoke. The witnesses say two riders were trying to restrain the man when he pulled out a pen and slashed Seeger's face.

Seeger, of Nutley, N.J., was treated at a hospital and released. Police charged the man with felony assault and criminal possession of a weapon.

Brought to you by the New York Tourism Board.

And You Thought They Would Smell Like Doritos And Mountain Dew

Even if you're a basement dwelling nerd, you don't have to smell like one. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has all your gamer stanks, whether you like it by character race, class, or even alignment!

Because nobody wants to smell like a puny human...

DWARF: Iron filings and chips of stone, Styrian Golding hops, and soot-covered leather.


ELF: Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry.


HALF-ELF: White sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk.


HALFLING: Porridge, kukui nuts, and pastry crumbs.


ORC: Field grey courgette musk, roughly cured leather, and vetiver.

If only there was the scent of a non-player character...

CLERIC: Rose amber, frankincense, myrrh, champaca flower, Peru balsam, cistus, palisander, cananga, hyssop, and narcissus absolute.


FIGHTER: Leather, musk, blood, and steel.


MAGE: All mystique and thrumming power: gurjum balsam, Sumatran dragon's blood resin, olibanum, galangal, oleo gum resin, and frankincense.


PALADIN: Immaculate white musk, sweet frankincense, bourbon vanilla, white leather, and shining armor.


RANGER: Untamed wilderness: buckskin accord with Terebinth pine, Russian birch, black ironwood, elder bark, hay, armoise, juniper, patchouli, galangal root, Spanish moss, and cabreuva.


ROGUE: Soft, well-worn black leather, hemp, and rosin.

Even your demeanor has an odor...

NEUTRAL: A flawless skin musk.


LAWFUL: Rigid oak, blue chamomile, rhubarb, and fig leaf.


CHAOTIC: A whirling mélange of multicolored musks with wasabi, rooibos, heliotrope, and mastic.


GOOD: Shimmering celestial musk with vanilla, white honey, acacia, and sugar cane.


EVIL: Smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root.

How To Win A Wheelbarrow Race

Chips Ahoy

Hollywood trade newspaper Variety has lost in its attempt to pursue a trademark claim in Delaware against the punk band The Vandals. Round one to the punks!

In 2004, the Vandals released their 10th album, "Hollywood Potato Chip". The album's title is a euphemism for dried semen on a casting couch, and the original cover art used lettering that parodied the logo of Variety. It prompted legal action and a cease and desist order from the magazine, resulting in a replacement cover with redesigned lettering. However, Variety brought a new suit over third-party uses of the original cover appearing on the interweb.

The original settlement with the band, in addition to changing the cover, stipulated that band members would have to pay $50,000 plus attorneys fees if the group ever reneged. But with the appearance on the cover art online...

The band claimed it wasn't behind the breaches, and he case will be moving to a California federal court, thanks to Vandals bassist and lawyer Joe Escalante (a Loyola Law School alum who worked in business affairs at CBS, as well as host of the "Barely Legal Radio" program, which covers entertainment legal matters.

On the Vandals' website, Escalante is touting the successful opening move, and a video about the dispute, featuring a fake conversation between Variety's former editor Peter Bart and his lawyer is also posted. In the video, Bart questions why the publication is spending $100,000 in attorney's fees to win a $50,000 claim at a time when the publication is dwindling in size. Good question...

The Delicious Ones

Props to Jason McKittrick, who plays tribute to the Ancient Ones in the tastiest of manners. 

From the depths of R'lyeh comes an idol of Cthulhu cast in solid green milk chocolate! I am doing a limited production run of these for a short time only. If you would like one (or a few) please follow the paypal link. Each idol is $10. I will combine shipping for multiple orders.

Idol measures 1 inch by 1 inch wide by 3 inches tall

Also available in regular milk chocolate and custom requests are welcome. Please specify when ordering.

May your taste buds know insanity.

The Best Show In The Universe

Man-O-Manischewitz

On a night when there are four questions, there's another that's long dogged me - how did we end up with Manischewitz on Passover?

Central to the Passover seder are four cups of wine, drunk at intervals during the home service. Jewish law says that that kosher wine be produced and handled only by Jews, and you could imagine what a bitch that was for early immigrants in North America. Native grapes were poorly suited while imported vines succumbed to the elements, and imported wine from Europe was too expensive. A popular solution was was non-alcoholic raisin wine , which came out of small shops and basement wineries. By the end of the 19th century, the top six vendors in New York alone sold 40,000 gallons of this Passover wine. But there was a better vint coming.

Ephraim Wales Bull developed the Concord grape in New England, and from the time it went on sale in 1854, it rapidly spread throughout the country. Thomas Welch decided to pasteurize its juice as well as jelly it. When fermented, the Concord grape into a fortified, syrupy, highly alcoholic wine. Kosher wineries started appearing and even flourished even during Prohibition - thanks to the Volstead Act's exemption for sacramental beverages.

Thanks in part to the popularity of Concord grape juice, American palates warmed to the distinctive flavor of the grape as it grew popular in mainstream markets along with other "ethnic foods". By 1952, kosher wine like Manischewitz was among the most popular wines in the Midwest. Adding Sammy Davis Jr. as a pitchman helped sell the wine to the African-American community, which still continues to account for a large percentage of its sales.

Though sales have decreased over the last few decades, a new kosher wine industry has developed. Catering to both wine snobs and hipsters cred, there's also a boom in exports to Asia, which is the world's fastest-growing wine markets. So raise your glass to the long standing tradition and the flavor of the seder!

Pissed Off

In 1987, Andres Serrano plunged a plastic crucifix into a glass of his own urine and photographed. "Piss Christ" was making a statement on the misuse of religion...and fanatical assholes destroyed it.

Controversy has always followed the work, but on on Palm Sunday it was attacked with hammers and destroyed after an "anti-blasphemy" campaign by French Catholic fundamentalists in Avignon. And I thought forgiveness was the Christian thing to do...

Serrano often defended his photograph as a "condemnation of those who abuse the teachings of Christ for their own ignoble ends" and criticism of the "billion-dollar Christ-for-profit industry". In 2007, it was vandalised in Australia, and a show of his was ransacked by neo-Nazis in Sweden. The photograph had been shown in France several times without incident, and was hanging for the last four months as part of art-dealer Yvon Lambert's personal collection. And two weeks ago a heavy wave of protest began.

Lambert complained of extremists who had sent him tens of thousands of complaint emails, which could be credited to Civitas, a lobby group that says it aims to re-Christianize France who launched an online petition and mobilised other fundamentalist groups. They also organised almost 1,000 Christian protesters, who marched through Avignon to the gallery. The gallery immediately stepped up security, putting plexiglass in front of the photograph and assigning two gallery guards to stand in front of it.

On Palm Sunday morning, four people in sunglasses entered the exhibition just after it opened at 11am. One took a hammer out of his sock and threatened the guards with it. A guard grabbed another man around the waist but within seconds the group managed to take a hammer to the plexiglass screen and slash the photograph. They also smashed another work, which showed the hands of a meditating nun.

The gallery director said it would reopen with the destroyed works on show "so people can see what barbarians can do". I'd rather they take a hammer and pick to the vandals, and put that on display, but at least they are not backing down from lunatics with religious tunnel-vision.

Modern Exodus

The Shat-Man Cometh

He'll boldly go where he's gone before...

William Shatner is again releasing another album of his unique vocal stylings, and this one's got a concept. "Searching for Major Tom" comes out later this year (following his 2004's effort "Has Been", which surprisingly had several bright spots). Here's the tracks and details straight from Shatner's site:

Space Trucking (originally by Deep Purple) - Deep Purple drummer Ian Paice has performed the drum part. Johnny Winter is on guest guitar.


She Blinded Me With Science (originally by Thomas Dolby) - Bootsy Collins is on as the guest bassist. Patrick Moraz (ex Yes and Moody Blues) is guesting on keyboards/synth.


In A Little While (originally by U2) - Manuel Gottsching from Ash Ra Temple has added guitar.


Empty Glass (originally by The Tea Party) - Michael Schenker (UFO/Scorpions) has added guest guitar.


Lost In The Stars (as done by Frank Sinatra) - Jazz legend Ernie Watts is on guest saxophone.


Twilight Zone (originally by Golden Earring) - Warren Haynes (Gov't Mule/Allman Brothers) is on guest guitar.


Space Cowboy (originally by Steve Miller) - Country artist Brad Paisley has added guitar and vocals.


Rocket Man (originally by Elton John) - Guitarist Steve Hillage (ex Gong member and current member of techno rock duo System 7) has added guest guitar


Space Oddity (originally by David Bowie) - Ritchie Blackmore (ex-Deep Purple) has added guest guitar. Alan Parsons is adding guest keyboards.


Spirit In The Sky (originally by Norman Greenbaum) - Peter Frampton has played guitar on this track.


Bohemian Rhapsody (originally by Queen) - John Wetton from Asia has played bass and done a vocal.


Silver Machine (originally by Hawkwind) - Wayne Kramer from the MC5 is adding guitar and Carmine Appice (Vanilla Fudge/Rod Stewart) is adding a guest drum part.


Major Tom (originally by Peter Shilling) - Nick Valensi, the guitarist from the Strokes has added guest guitar to this this track. Also Zakk Wylde (Ozzy Osbourne, black label society) and Mike Inez (Alice In Chains)have contributed to this track.


Learning To Fly (originally by Pink Floyd) - Edgar Froese from Tangerine Dream has played guitar and keyboards on this track.


Mr. Spaceman (originally by The Byrds) - Dave Davies from the Kinks has added guest guitar on this track.


Iron Man (originally by Black Sabbath) - Zakk Wylde (ex Ozzy guitarist) played guitar and did a vocal on this track.


Planet Earth (originally by Duran Duran) - Steve Howe, guitarist with Yes, played guitar on this track.


Walking On The Moon (originally by The Police) - Toots of Toots & the Maytals has added a guest vocal.


Mrs. Major Tom - female singer to add a track -To be announced.

These could make his legendary original version of Rocket Man look like a warm up.

Muy Pronto A Los Cines

Can't Have A Reunion Without A Breakup

The death knell of Guitar Hero seems to have been premature, according to the backpedaling of Activision.

Dan Winters, Activision vice president of developer relations (translation, PR douche), said that the Guitar Hero franchise is simply on hiatus. Hmmm, guess I didn't need to make that post about the game being discontinued months ago. Shit, we all got it wrong.

"Actually, just to clarify, we're just putting Guitar Hero on hiatus, we're not ending it...We're releasing products out of the vault--we'll continue to sustain the channel, the brand won't go away. We're just not making a new one for next year, that's all." And if you like quotes, you can compare that to the one they made in February: "Due to continued declines in the music genre, the company will disband Activision Publishing's Guitar Hero business unit and discontinue development on its Guitar Hero game for 2011."

That confusion comes from a touch of premature valuation. A month after killing the line, market researcher NPD reported that Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock was the bestselling game released in the U.S. since 1995. It's gross sales are $831 million since its launch in 2007. Also, rival developer Ubisoft announced last month that it plans to launch a music game of its own later this year called Rocksmith, which unlike Guitar Hero and Rock Band, promises to put a real guitar in the hands of players.  Oh, and all those positions I mentioned that were terminated when they closed down the division?  They're still gone.

What Did The Pot Call The Kettle, Part II

Wherever there's money made, there will be lawsuits to try and get a piece, hence the class-action suit filed by Jonathan Tasini looking for part of The Huffington Post’s $315 million acquisition payday from AOL.

By his accounts, Tasini figures the volunteer copy run for the past five years ended up generating a third of its sale value - $105 million. Naturally, he doesn’t explain how he got to that number, no why the site should be expected to pay for work people gave it for free. His major gripe is that users and contributors are frequently asked to help build a Web site without getting any financial compensation. Well sure, but the trade for content is exposure on a nationally recognized website. What's that worth?

It makes a good quote to hear him decry the "modern-day slaves on Arianna Huffington’s plantation", but if so, then Tasini himself is no sharecropper. In fact, has too has a blog that invites readers to contribute. And no, he doesn't pay them.

GAWKER took Tasini to task about his own site, which conveniently is based on the same model as The Huffington Post, using reader contributions. The biggest difference is that his site hasn't made nearly the impact - or money, to make it a target for suits. In response to their questioning, Tasini replied, "Oh, I see what you're doing. Are you comparing my little blog to the Huffington Post? That's absurd." Not so much, and they also found out that you're better at profiting from talking about representing the little guy than actually winning anything from them.

Unicode Range 0–65536

Best Sippy Cup Ever

It's sad when a teenage mother takes her toddler to a restaurant and they get served alcohol when she can't.

Applebee's in Madison Heights, Michigan started the process for 15-month-old Dominic Wilson Jr about two decades early, accidentally serving the boy a margarita instead of apple juice. His mother, Taylor Dill-Reese (18!), said, "He laid his head down like he was sleepy, then woke up and got really hyper...He was saying 'hi' and 'bye' to the walls."

The company that owns the Applebee's restaurant chain said it was immediately retraining its workers nationwide. DineEquity Inc said it would serve apple juice to children only from single-serve containers to eliminate the chance of any mixups that could result in any more toddlers receiving mixed drinks. According to the local police, the juice was an alcoholic concoction that was stored in a mislabeled container. Yeah, that's an old trick from my restaurant days so staff can have themselves a nice glass of "apple juice".

The boy was immediately rushed to the hospital, where his blood alcohol content was measured at 0.10, which is a decent buzz for a tyke.  Other than not eating like he used to (that's called a hangover), he'll be fine...I mean, if you count being born out of wedlock to a teenage mother as not being a problem.

Welcome To Bizzaro World

People magazine has named Jennifer Lopez the World's Most Beautiful Woman. Damn, that's the most narrow world view ever...

Lopez has been included 10 times prior before taking the top honor. Yes, this doughy 41-year-old is absolutely the most beautiful woman in the world. Okay, you know I don't mean that. She's not even the most beautiful 41-year-old in the world. Monica Bellucci has move than five years on her and looks infinitely better. It's just another terrible sign that American media would rather whore themselves out to gain favor with a celebrity rather than have a shred of dignity or honest reporting.  Because you can guess what magazine is going to have an exclusive interview with her once American Idol wraps it's season.

"Don't Brush My Hair In Knots!"

You're Dead. And Dead. And Dead And Dead And Dead.

Hong Kong soap opera actor Law Lok-lam show shouldn't have told fan magazines he writes a lot of his own lines...that kinda pisses off the actual writers on the show. Or shows.

Because all five characters he plays on five different shows got killed. On the same day.

His character on the martial arts drama Grace Under Fire (which would have been more interesting if it was the Grace Butler show) died in a fight, his Fate To Fate character vomited (blood) to death, and his Relic Of An Emissary character of a Ming emperor passed away from an illness. The two characters on Police Station No. 7 and Virtues Of Harmony characters didn't even get to die onscreen.

Despite his complete and sudden unemployment, Law said, "When I get a job, I don’t care if my character in the drama will die. If he is supposed to die, he should go on and die. Some fans criticised broadcaster TVB for making him "die" so often in such a short space of time, but they're fans of soap operas, and their opinions don't count.

Grey Area

Remember when Traci Lords left the adult film industry to become influential politician? Or when Jenna Jameson quit the biz to storm the medical field an cure diseases? Yeah, which is why we've heard the last of Sasha Grey.

Arguably the most famous porn star in the world, Marina Ann Hantzis Sasha Grey has hung up her vagina and is retiring from the interracial anal, bisexual three-ways, and facials that defined her career (how horrible is it to have your career defined by ass-to-mouth sex and double penetrations?). She said:

It’s become quite evident that my time as an adult film performer has expired. Don’t worry, I haven’t found Jesus. One thing is for certain, I’m proud to say I have no regrets, I genuinely feel I accomplished everything I could as a performer. I was able to work with the industry’s most professional performers and companies, and I’ll always cherish the friends and relationships I was able to build. It was simply the perfect time for me to move on… while I was on top (pun indeed, intended). Life sometimes takes us in a direction we never could have imagined.

Apparently, her crossover "success" has gone to her head. Starring in Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience (which grossed barely $1 million on a skeletal $1.3 million budget) as an escort and as, well, herself in Entourage, I'd hardly call playing a sex worker success. She's modeled and made music only as a result of the name and recognition garnered from porn, but who's going to have any interest in either of those from her in few years?

Her latest non-sex move was the recently released book, Neü Sex, which she calls, "my visual mosaic through photography, my sexual philosophy, and observations". Oh, the only thing worse than a porn star who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut (or open), is one who thinks they're a goddamn artist and intellectual. Sure, people are allowed to not be defined by just one thing - look at excellent crossover to acting by Madonna or William Shatner's singing career...oh wait, those were both jokes - but Sasha Grey is just trying to milk every last mile out of her fame as she goes further away from the one thing that made her. Jenna Jameson's more recent career move? Domestic abuse charges against Tito Ortiz in 2010. Keep that in mind, Sasha...

You'll always be the 2007 AVN Award winner for Best Three-Way Sex Scene (y'know, in Fuck Slaves with Sandra Romain and Manuel Ferrara) to me.

See you back in the business in 2013.

Tsunami Translated Means "Wave Of Cars And Buses"

Crapateria

Students attending Chicago's Little Village Academy public school have two choices for lunch - eat the cafeteria food or go hungry.

Wanna bring your brown bag? Fuck you! Only students with allergies are allowed to bring a homemade lunch! "Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school," principal Elsa Carmona said of the policy. "It's about ... the excellent quality food that they are able to serve in the lunchroom. It's milk versus a Coke." Actually, it's about a private school versus a public challenge...for now.  Students said they would rather bring their own lunch, and the $2.25 daily cafeteria price can also tally more than a homemade lunch.

A Chicago public school teacher started a blog to protest the city's school lunches, and last year the schools tightened their nutrition standards for cafeteria-served school lunches. Now, every lunch must contain whole grains, only reduced-fat salad dressings and mayonnaise are offered as condiments, and the meals must feature a different vegetable each day. Meal providers also must reduce sodium content by 5% annually. About 86% of the district's students qualify for free or reduced price school lunches because their families are toeing the poverty line, so they should be happy their kids are getting fed, but the thought of not having the choice for those that can provide is getting added to the already growing debate on student lunches and childhood obesity.

Alabama parents protested a school's rule that barred students from bringing any drinks from home, since ice water was provided at lunch. Eastern New York schools have outlawed cupcakes and other desserts. Nationally, many schools have kicked out chocolate milk and soda vending machines. Over in new-fascist Arizona, the Children's Success Academy allows home-packed lunches, but only if nothing in them contains white flour, refined sugar, or other "processed" foods.  The school has no cafeteria, which makes meeting to restrictions even harder.  And even old white right-winger jerk-off fantasy Sarah Palin got involved in a debate regarding a recommendation that teachers limit the number of times per month sugary treats are eaten in classroom birthday celebrations.

About a third of America's kids are overweight or obese, and since children consume at least 30% of their calories while in school, the thinking is making lunches healthier is seen as one way to counter that problem. And that's great, but if the other 70% of meals they have are pure crap, it's not going to make a difference. But because there are a lot of shitty parents, it's up to the schools to get involved so their kids don't grow up to die sooner.
 

Leaving Las Vegas...In A Bodybag

Vanity, I swear you're death's cousin.

A genius woman died over the weekend after a botched buttocks enhancement surgery. This wouldn't normally make news, except that it took place in the back room of a Las Vegas tile business. The Colombian nationals who "performed" the work were later arrested trying to board a plane back to that country. At least these malpracticioners bothered to get a hotel room.

Elena Caro's cause of death was not immediately determined, as the investigation and toxicology tests are ongoing, but is "foreign object to the butt" possibility? The facial botox injections Ruben Dario Matallana-Galvas (55) and Carmen Olfidia Torres-Sanchez (47) had given Caro (who also used the name Maria Orrozco) the week prior miraculously had no problems, so after she walked out of the procedure, why would they have had any concerns?

Elizabeth Flores, an aide to Mattalana-Galvas, got the call that something had gone wrong, so she had her husband drive Mattalana-Galvas and Torres-Sanchez to the airport, the police report said. Congrats on your aiding and abetting!

Caro's underage daughter, Janet Villalovos, shared she told Matallana-Galvas to take care of her mother when she dropped her off for the procedure. "He told me everything's going to be fine, don't worry," Villalovos said. This is shocking, right? And wouldn't you know it that the Nevada State Board of Medical Examiners had no files or credentials on either of the "doctors".

Caro. Mattalana-Galvas.Torres-Sanchez. Villalovos. Orrozco. I can't keep all of it straight...it's like watching a soccer match.

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