Sieg Oprah!

The revolution will be televised - Oprah Winfrey is getting her own TV network, and you can bet they'll have the exclusive when she declares herself a sovereign nation.

OWN — for Oprah Winfrey Network — will debut next year in nearly 70 million homes on cable and satellite, in a deal with Discovery Communications. It will replace the Discovery Health network, which is little more than an extra click on the remote on your way to pay channels.

As it stands, the Oprah media empire already includes her top-rated TV talk show, a magazine, a satellite radio network, a Web site, and TV movies made under her banner.

"This is an evolution of what I've been able to do every day," Winfrey said. "I will now have the opportunity to do this 24 hours a day on a platform that goes on forever."

It think Hitler made a similar speech in '38.

Oprah will be chairwoman of the network, and ownership will be split between Discovery and her company, Harpo Productions Inc. In return for taking over a network already operated by Discovery, Winfrey gives half ownership of the Oprah.com Web site. Sounds like some of the plans and resource sharing between Adolph and his pal Mussolini.

Allegedly, Discovery president and CEO David Zaslav was looking for ideas about what to do with their surplus channel when his wife handed him a copy of Oprah's magazine. I believe in exchange she took his remaining testicle. He approached Winfrey about a partnership, "coincidentally" shortly after she had come upon an entry for her diary dated May 24, 1992, when she wrote about her idea for creating her own network. "David came and really spoke about the vision I'd been having for 15 years," she said. "It felt like, `I can't believe you're saying this.'"

Visions? Just like the Nazis and their belief in the occult. Never mind that in between ruling her empire we're to believe she's leafing through her diary form decades ago. Housewives do that, not billionaires.

Winfrey envisions the programming dealing with issues such as money, health, weight, relationships and raising children, or exactly the same shit she does already. Count on the stable of in-house experts she uses to contribute, which means even more Dr. Phil than anyone needs. While Winfrey will be the face (and nougat-filled head) of the new network, she won't have much of a presence, as her contract to continue on "Oprah" runs through May 2011.

Her Fourth Reich will continue to rise!