F.B.I.O.U.

Even the Feds get a little lazy with their bills.

Telephone companies have cut off FBI wiretaps used to eavesdrop on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated failures to pay phone bills on time. A Justice Department audit just released blamed the lost connections on the FBI's lax oversight of money used in undercover investigations. In one office alone, unpaid costs for wiretaps from one phone company totaled $66,000.

Look, either buy $800 hammers and $2300 toilet seats, or pay your bills - but you can't have it both ways. Line your pockets or do your job. Wait - what the hell am I saying?

In at least one case, a wiretap used in a Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act investigation "was halted due to untimely payment," the audit found. FISA wiretaps are used in the government's most sensitive and secretive criminal and intelligence investigations, and allow eavesdropping on suspected terrorists or spies. Maybe they should have been on the C.I.A.'s tab then...

More than half of 990 bills to pay for telecommunication surveillance in five unidentified FBI field offices were not paid on time, the report shows.

Egg on their face, the Bureau countered, "while in a few instances, late-payment of telephone bills resulted in interruptions of the timely delivery of surveillance results, these interruptions were temporary and in our assessment, none of those cases were significantly affected."

The audit also found that some field offices paid for expenses on undercover cases that should have been financed by FBI headquarters. Out of 130 undercover payments examined, auditors found 14 cases of at least $6,000 each where field offices dipped into their own budgets to pay for work that should have been picked up by headquarters.

The faulty bookkeeping was blamed, in large part, on an FBI employee who pleaded guilty in June 2006 to stealing $25,000 for her own use, the audit noted. Thanks and nice job, bitch!

Once again, I feel safe and secure knowing my government is up to the task of protecting and operating in the interest of we citizens.