Thursday, September 13, 2007

Going, Going...

The most common type of gorilla is now "critically endangered," according to the World Conservation Union.

Commercial hunting, civil unrest and habitat loss due to logging and forest clearance for palm oil plantations are adding to the problem, but the main reason for the species thinning is the Ebola virus. Yes, nature, not humans is the prime culprit in this species extinction plan. In fact, the Western Lowland Gorilla has lost about a third of it's population in protected areas over the last 15 years due to the virus.

Also on the chopping block is the Yangtze River dolphin, the Redheaded Vulture, and the Gharial crocodile. Not faring so well is the woolly-stalked begonia, the only species declared extinct this year. Not mentioned are more human concerns, which I note are in their twilight.

Customer Service
As future President Of The Universe, I will be instituting a mandatory customer service program, where of-age youth will have to spend two years in either food service or retail in order to understand what customer service is from both sides. It pains me to think that what used to be typical courtesy and service is now bought at a premium in establishments.

Parenting
During your two year tour of duty in my program, you are sure to realize that selective breeding may not be such an extreme view. Children are no better than wild animals in name brand clothing, and that is mainly in part to shitty parenting skills and lack of attentiveness in the development of those kids. Never mind smacking the children, just hit the parents. In the reproductive area if you can.


Faith In Government
I think we're close to the point where the last remaining people who truly believe in what the government tells us are either in the government or would fit in the ballroom of the airport Hilton. Between the botched war, botched Katrina response, the fiasco elections, countless scandals and resignations, and general mix of embarrassment and evil our leaders project, how can anybody sane feel comfortable with the rhetoric they spew which flies in direct opposition to what we clearly see them do. We're all huddled together in the lifeboat while the captain keeps telling us to get back to the state room and listen to the band play.

Heroes
Who do kids look up to these days? Britney Spears? Michael Vick? Our celebrities are famous for being famous and no longer have the noble qualities that make them worthy of idolatry. And why have our standards dropped so far that a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and some dance moves or throwing a ball 30 yards is the top of our admirability chart? As an adult you fare no better...but I'm a big fan of the guy who makes salt water burn right now.

Humility
Maybe I shouldn't comment on this...I write a blog for God's sake.

3 comments:

Idle Eyes said...

Classic IOvUF, i feel like you've been sitting on this one for a while, and i completely agree about the mandatory c.s. and some kind of pre-parenting testing.


Digging on the psycho-awesomeness of Mats & Morgan!

famous m said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
famous m said...

When I thought about all the tree weevils and tide pool slugs going extinct, it just triggered something dormant inside me.