Douchebag, Reconsidering...

Sen. Larry Craig is reconsidering his decision to resign after his arrest in a Minnesota airport sex sting and may still fight for his Senate seat, his spokesman said Tuesday evening. No word out of his camp on a reconsideration on trying to hook up sex in an airport bathroom.

Of course, Craig has some very respectable attorneys advising him and defending the senator's actions. Billy Martin (red flag right there), one of Craig's lawyers, said the senator's arrest in an undercover police operation in the Minneapolis airport "raises very serious constitutional questions." Like, why is there no right to solicit gay sex in public restrooms?

Martin, who also represents Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick in his dogfighting case (second red flag), said Craig "has the right to pursue any and all legal remedies available as he begins the process of trying to clear his good name." What those are is anybody's guess, and I suspect going back in time to warn his earlier self not to get busted falls inside Martin's narrow view of the law.

Craig contended throughout last week he had done nothing wrong and said his only mistake was pleading guilty on Aug. 1 to a misdemeanor charge. Well, he's half right. Wanting gay sex is not wrong at all, just trying to get it in a place surrounded by folks who've been holding a piss in since Albuquerque is. So now, in action is a high-powered crisis management team that also includes communications adviser Judy Smith; Washington attorney Stan Brand, a former general counsel to the U.S. House; and Minneapolis attorney Tom Kelly. By the way, Brand, represented Major League Baseball in the congressional investigation into steroid use, and will handle any Senate Ethics Committee investigation of Craig. What a great fit that is, just behind hiring John Wayne Gacy for your kid's birthday party. What a terrific group of scumbags and liars for hire. I hope their plane hits a mountain on their flight into Boise to consult with Sen. Closet.

Let's not forget that Craig, pleaded guilty to a crime. That means it's over. Then he resigned his position as a result of being guilty. Double over! All this hoopla and media manipulation is just an ego trip to keep him from accepting his closeted homosexuality and shame for getting arrested, and the best part is that the more they try to spin the story, the more it keeps his gay, arrested profile in the spotlight. Just disappear into civilian life and live with the choices you made. Or at least show some dignity and reverence for the position by sticking to your departure, even though you clearly have none yourself. It's not a Christmas gift you can return because you changed your mind -- you asked for it, and boy, did you get it.

Fortunately, all three of Craig's adopted children said Tuesday they believe their father's assertions he is not gay and did nothing to warrant his arrest. While we can look at their stupid claims that their dad was in the wrong place at the wrong time (only when you get caught), let's just stay with the fact Craig married his wife in 1983 and then adopted three kids. Sure, lots of straight guys are that into adoption. Beard? Not in Idaho.

I defer to Jerry Lewis on this...