What’s the difference between a State Senator and a state’s Senator? One has a real job and no time to dick around making personal points using their office.Ernie Chambers, a State Senator from Omaha, sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terrorist threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." Chambers is a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, and said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. Well, thank God (oops!) for Ernie Chambers, arbiter of the legal system and fulcrum of suit worthiness.
The rational behind the action is that Chambers is admonishing the point that anybody can sue anybody. First off, believe in it or not, God ain’t “anybody”. It may not be anything. Bringing a suit against God is like suing a ghost or Sasquatch – you can‘t prove they exist in a court and you can‘t sue them. Also, there’s a little indemnity in most contracts called an “Act Of God” provision, which means people and companies are not liable for events that occur beyond human control…and don’t think anybody stuck by lightning or who spontaneously exploded ever earned their family a dime looking for a payout from the Almighty – the human legal system operates exempt and beyond the jurisdiction of God. And while we’re at it, which God exactly? Yahweh? Jesus? Buddha? Allah? Gods are going to start claiming deity profiling…and they all look alike. Black teens in Detroit are acquitted all the time because the police incorrectly grab the first dark face they see near the crime scene – do you think God won’t fair better?
Fortunately, some of the local zealots whipped up a pair of legal responses. John Friend, the Douglas County District Court clerk in Omaha claimed, “This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here — poof!"
"God" argued that it as the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction. It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.
There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
The second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday. That’s “body of Christ” for you ignorant non-Latin speakers. Get it now, dummy?
Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office were unsuccessful, because he realized what an imbecile he looks like.
And kudos to the photographer who framed him in the photo like the oldy timey religious paintings. Too ironically perfect.
There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
The second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday. That’s “body of Christ” for you ignorant non-Latin speakers. Get it now, dummy?
Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office were unsuccessful, because he realized what an imbecile he looks like.
And kudos to the photographer who framed him in the photo like the oldy timey religious paintings. Too ironically perfect.
No comments:
Post a Comment