The Cake That Should Not Be

All cakes should be this horrifying.

Here is Cthulhu rising from the oceans, using a convenient little island with a tower on it to climb up. The base was cherry-chip cake, the island and tower a mix of cherry chip and yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Also used small chocolate ‘pearls’ as rocks. Cthulhu himself is all fondant, with two chocolate pearls that I seeped in red dye for eyes.

For Cakethulhu and others, go here.

The Secret To Huge Sales

GTA IV has enough sex to compliment the stream of violence and mayhem you can get into while playing. Or perhaps you want to combine both...

Trip Away

While much fuss is being made about a dead panda, the real passing that ought to make us sad is that of Albert Hofmann, the father of LSD.

Hofmann died Tuesday at his home in Burg im Leimental at the age of 102. For decades after LSD was banned in the late 1960s, Hofmann defended his invention. "I produced the substance as a medicine. ... It's not my fault if people abused it," he said.

The Swiss chemist discovered lysergic acid diethylamide-25 in 1938 while studying the medicinal uses of a fungus found on wheat and other grains at the Sandoz pharmaceuticals firm in Basel. He became the first human guinea pig of the drug when a tiny amount of the substance seeped onto his finger during a laboratory experiment on April 16, 1943.

"I had to leave work for home because I was suddenly hit by a sudden feeling of unease and mild dizziness," he subsequently wrote in a memo to company bosses. He said his initial experience resulted in "wonderful visions." "What I was thinking appeared in colors and in pictures," he told a Swiss television network for a program marking his 100th birthday two years ago. "It lasted for a couple of hours and then it disappeared." Three days later, Hofmann experimented with a larger dose. The result was a horror trip.

"Everything I saw was distorted as in a warped mirror," he said, describing his bicycle ride home. "I had the impression I was rooted to the spot. But my assistant told me we were actually going very fast. The substance which I wanted to experiment with took over me. I was filled with an overwhelming fear that I would go crazy. I was transported to a different world, a different time," Hofmann wrote.

Hofmann and his scientific colleagues hoped that LSD would make an important contribution to psychiatric research. The drug exaggerated inner problems and conflicts and thus it was hoped that it might be used to recognize and treat mental illnesses like schizophrenia.

For a time, Sandoz sold LSD 25 under the name Delysid, encouraging doctors to try it themselves. It was one of the strongest drugs in medicine — with just one gram enough to drug an estimated 10,000 to 20,000 people for 12 hours. LSD was elevated to international fame in the late 1950s and 1960s thanks to Harvard professor Timothy Leary who embraced the drug under the slogan "turn on, tune in, drop out." But away from the psychedelic trips, horror stories emerged about people going on murder sprees or jumping out of windows while hallucinating. Heavy users suffered permanent psychological damage. The U.S. government banned LSD in 1966 and other countries followed suit.

Hofmann maintained this was unfair, arguing that the drug was not addictive. He repeatedly argued for the ban to be lifted to allow LSD to be used in medical research. He welcomed a decision by Swiss authorities last December to allow LSD to be used in a psychotherapy research project. "For me, this is a very big wish come true. I always wanted to see LSD get its proper place in medicine," he told Swiss media.

Hofmann took the drug — purportedly on an occasional basis and out of scientific interest — for several decades. "LSD can help open your eyes," he once said. "But there are other ways — meditation, dance, music, fasting." Even so, the self described "father" of LSD readily agreed that the drug was dangerous if in the wrong hands. This was reflected by the title of his 1979 book: "LSD - my problem child." In it he wrote that, "The history of LSD to date amply demonstrates the catastrophic consequences that can ensue when its profound effect is misjudged and the substance is mistaken for a pleasure drug."

Good and bad things can happen with a little LSD, but it really is an amazing thing. Hoffman may have had to wrangle with the villification of his discovery, but I'm certain that most all of those who followed in his footsteps are nothing but thankful for his scientific feats.

let Syd Barrett show you

Cry

Work makes me want to cry.

Great Grandfather Of T-1000

The robot apocalypse came one step closer to happening, as component automatons get disassembled and slowly reform. Sure, it'll be years until they are sleek, liquid metal, but with these advances and the growing nanotechnology, well, just you wait and see.

Cream Up, Tubby!

Ben & Jerry's is once celebrating another year of successful ice-cream peddling wrapped in environmental-political undertones with Free Cone Day today!

You can go to any participating Ben & Jerry's scoop shop and get a free scoop of your favorite ice cream flavor. There are over 400 Ben & Jerry's stores in the US and the Scoop Shop locator can help you findthe nearest participating store. You're welcome.

Are You Experienced?

Have you ever been experienced? Well, I have. And apparently Jimi Hendrix too.

The high demand for celebrity sex tapes took a bizarre turn as a 40 year old film with the guitar god and some, ah, special ladies found the light of day. Vivid Entertainment is planning to release the sex romp, shot in 8mm. The 11 minute film shows Hendrix sexing the two ladies. No word on whether either woman asphyxiated in their own vomit afterwards. Here the press line:

Jimi Hendrix: The Sex Tape" will premiere today online at www.hendrixsextape.com, with a DVD edition scheduled to hit stores across the country on May 6. Shot in a hotel room circa 1968, the film shows Hendrix in "an erotic liaison with two slender brunettes." "This new movie shows that Jimi Hendrix could have been as great a porn star as he was a rock star. He could clearly play more than just his guitar," said Vivid co-chairman Steven Hirsch. "It's easy to see that he turned women on with his music and his passion." Rumors of the explicit Hendrix film began to circulate in October 2007, when Vivid registered several Internet domain names for the project. According to a company press release, Vivid acquired the rare 8mm home movie footage of the late rock guitarist from "a collector of rock 'n roll memorabilia."

You're dirty, so I know you'll watch it. And you betcha it's NSFW.

The Hidden Shame Of Steve Ballmer

His choice of laptop for the presentation is an odd choice indeed, being Microsoft CEO and all...

GTA IV - Videogame Godhead

At midnight, Grand Theft Auto IV hits the streets, and it may be the best reviewed game and highest grossing ever.

The criminal action title (for the n00bs out there) is the ninth game in the series, but the only the fourth to bear the GTA name. The game, which originated in Liberty City (doubling for New York), had garnered immense popularity as it shifted locations in the 80's tinted GTA: Vice City (Miami) and 90's throwback GTA: San Andreas (Los Angeles / San Francisco / Las Vegas), but has now returned to the infamous point of origin.

The 3-D third person shooter has become something of a figurehead in game development, and what has made the game super-playable is the incredible detail put into the settings. Liberty City has been bulked up to not only include versions of the real world boroughs of New York, but also game versions of famous buildings and landmarks. And the feature of radio stations to choose between and listen to while driving around the metropolis has expanded to an insane 18, giving hours of content.

Yet for all the detail and care for the environment, it's the story and gameplay (nerd out and see the supercool character engine demo here) that sells the game, which critics call "a brutal and satirical masterpiece equal to films like The Godfather. And that's not a stretch from the reviewers:

"Rockstar's magnum opus is a modern-day masterpiece that could change the way the world views video games," wrote gaming news and reviews site GameSpy, awarding the game a perfect five-star rating.

"Grand Theft Auto IV is a violent, intelligent, profane, endearing, obnoxious, sly, richly textured and thoroughly compelling work of cultural satire disguised as fun," The New York Times said.

"GTA IV gives us characters and a world with a level of depth previously unseen in gaming and elevates its story from a mere shoot-em-up to an Oscar-caliber drama," IGN said. "The idea of a 'living, breathing city' has always been somewhat of a joke in gaming. Every city in the past has felt artificial in some way. But Liberty City feels like a real place".

Metacritic, a widely tracked aggregator of gaming reviews, compiled over a dozen scores, and the version for Sony's PlayStation 3 game scored a perfect 100, while the Microsoft's Xbox 360 achieved a 99. Many retail chains such as GameStop and Best Buy have taken advance orders for weeks and are throwing open their doors at midnight to accommodate gamers eager to be among the first to play. First-week sales forecast to be as much as $400 million, beating those of last year's super hit Halo 3, and at least 9 million units of the game are expected to be sold before year's end. In fact, some caution that Iron Man, debuting at the end of the week may suffer lower ticket sales on account of the massive interest of GTA IV.

I played so much GTA: Vice City that I broke my game controller. It was that cool of a game. Seeing how great this looks makes me almost need to replace that controller and call in sick for a week. The trailers alone sell it.

Night Fever

The Church of Scientology is well rumored to be a Hollywood haven for very in-the-closet homosexual actors and actresses. Whether they're purging the gay thetans or just hiding them, the latest John Travolta pictures don't look like they're doing a good job of either.

He used to be so macho, too...

The Power To Believe

A couple who prayed as their 11-year-old daughter died of untreated diabetes will be charged with second-degree reckless homicide. I guess God doesn't give better coverage than an HMO.

Madeline Neumann died March 23 at the family's rural Wisconsin home. An autopsy determined she died from undiagnosed diabetic ketoacidosis, an ailment that left her with too little insulin in her body. Dale and Leilani Neumann each face up to 25 years in prison if convicted.

The Neumanns have cooperated with investigators and are not under arrest, and have agreed to make an initial court appearance later this week. Leilani Neumann told the news media previously that she never expected her daughter to die. The family believes in the Bible, which says healing comes from God, but they have nothing against doctors, she said. Dale Neumann, a former police officer, has said he has friends who are doctors and started CPR "as soon as the breath of life left" his daughter's body.

Madeline, who was being home-schooled, was in good health until she started getting tired about two weeks before she died, her mother said. When the situation got worse over Easter weekend, "we stayed fast in prayer then...we believed that she would recover."

According to a search warrant request, the girl's grandmother told investigators she had been ill for several days, was "very tired," and wanted to be held by her mother. the day before she died, Madeline couldn't walk or talk, her grandmother said.

The grandmother said she told Leilani Neumann to take the girl to the doctor but the mother said her daughter "would be fine and God would heal her," the court record said. The grandmother eventually contacted a daughter-in-law in California, who called police on a non-emergency line to report the girl was in a coma and needed medical help. An ambulance was dispatched to the home shortly before some friends in the home called 911 to report the girl had stopped breathing.

The Neumanns said they moved to Weston California about two years ago to open a coffee shop and be closer to other relatives. The couple has three other children, ages 13 to 16, all of which are still living. The family does not belong to an organized religion or faith, Leilani Neumann said.

It's hard to determine how much negligence was there. Yes, the kid died, so there's a clear case of negligence, but was it in part with their faith? In March, an Oregon couple who belonged to a church that preaches against medical care and believes in treating illness with prayer were charged with manslaughter and criminal mistreatment in the death of their 15-month-old daughter (the toddler died of bronchial pneumonia and a blood infection). If the Neumanns meet the same level of religious fanaticism in court or just rate as shitty, stupid parents, we'll have to see...

What is truly capable of healing, from The Power To Believe album / tour back in 2003, is King Crimson with "Level Five"...

...and "The Power To Believe"

Amen!

Medicinal Values

Imagine the doctor approved and furnished blood pressure pills you took made you ineligible for a life saving organ transplant. Or that antibiotic from that bladder infection. Or birth control. Or mood stabilizers. That's the situation facing medical marijuana. From Yahoo! News:

Timothy Garon's face and arms are hauntingly skeletal, but the fluid building up in his abdomen makes the 56-year-old musician look eight months pregnant. His liver, ravaged by hepatitis C, is failing. Without a new one, his doctors tell him, he will be dead in days. But Garon's been refused a spot on the transplant list, largely because he has used marijuana, even though it was legally approved for medical reasons.

"I'm not angry, I'm not mad, I'm just confused," said Garon, lying in his hospital bed a few minutes after a doctor told him the hospital transplant committee's decision Thursday.

With the scarcity of donated organs, transplant committees like the one at the University of Washington Medical Center use tough standards, including whether the candidate has other serious health problems or is likely to drink or do drugs. And with cases like Garon's, they also have to consider — as a dozen states now have medical marijuana laws — if using dope with a doctor's blessing should be held against a dying patient in need of a transplant. Most transplant centers struggle with the how to deal with people who have used marijuana, said Dr. Robert Sade, director of the Institute of Human Values in Health Care at the Medical University of South Carolina.

"Marijuana, unlike alcohol, has no direct effect on the liver. It is however a concern ... in that it's a potential indicator of an addictive personality," Sade said.

The Virginia-based United Network for Organ Sharing, which oversees the nation's transplant system, leaves it to individual hospitals to develop criteria for transplant candidates. At some, people who use "illicit substances" — including medical marijuana, even in states that allow it — are automatically rejected. At others, such as the UCLA Medical Center, patients are given a chance to reapply if they stay clean for six months. Marijuana is illegal under federal law.

Garon believes he got hepatitis by sharing needles with "speed freaks" as a teenager. In recent years, he said, pot has been the only drug he's used. In December, he was arrested for growing marijuana. Garon, who has been hospitalized or in hospice care for two months straight, said he turned to the university hospital after Seattle's Harborview Medical Center told him he needed six months of abstinence. The university also denied him, but said it would reconsider if he enrolled in a 60-day drug-treatment program. This week, at the urging of Garon's lawyer, the university's transplant team reconsidered anyway, but it stuck to its decision.

Dr. Brad Roter, the Seattle physician who authorized Garon's pot use for nausea, abdominal pain and to stimulate his appetite, said he did not know it would be such a hurdle if Garon were to need a transplant. That's typically the case, said Peggy Stewart, a clinical social worker on the liver transplant team at UCLA who has researched the issue. "There needs to be some kind of national eligibility criteria," she said. The patients "are trusting their physician to do the right thing. The physician prescribes marijuana, they take the marijuana, and they are shocked that this is now the end result," she said. No one tracks how many patients are denied transplants over medical marijuana use.

Pro-marijuana groups have cited a handful of cases, including at least two patient deaths, in Oregon and California, since the mid-to-late 1990s, when states began adopting medical marijuana laws. Many doctors agree that using marijuana — smoking it, especially — is out of the question post-transplant. The drugs patients take to help their bodies accept a new organ increase the risk of aspergillosis, a frequently fatal infection caused by a common mold found in marijuana and tobacco.

But there's little information on whether using marijuana is a problem before the transplant, said Dr. Emily Blumberg, an infectious disease specialist who works with transplant patients at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. Further complicating matters, Blumberg said, is that some insurers require proof of abstinence, such as drug tests, before they'll agree to pay for transplants. Dr. Jorge Reyes, a liver transplant surgeon at the UW Medical Center, said that while medical marijuana use isn't in itself a sign of substance abuse, it must be evaluated in the context of each patient.

"The concern is that patients who have been using it will not be able to stop," Reyes said.

Dale Gieringer, state coordinator for the California chapter of NORML, the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, scoffed at that notion. "Everyone agrees that marijuana is the least habit-forming of all the recreational drugs, including alcohol," Gieringer said. "And unlike a lot of prescription medications, it's nontoxic to the liver." Reyes and other UW officials declined to discuss Garon's case.

But Reyes said that in addition to medical concerns, transplant committees — which often include surgeons, social workers, and nutritionists — must evaluate whether patients have the support and psychiatric health to cope with a complex post-operative regimen for the rest of their lives.

Garon, the lead singer for Nearly Dan, a Steely Dan cover-band, remains charged with manufacturing weed. He insists he was following the state law, which limits patients to a "60-day supply" but doesn't define that amount. "He's just a fantastic musician, and he's a great guy," said his girlfriend, Leisa Bueno. "I wish there was something we could do legally. ... I'm going to miss him terribly if he passes."

Aside from my campaign to keep stupid people from using drugs, I truly believe that pot should be accepted as a viable medicinal tool, and that the stigma attached to it would once and for all disappear. Its retarded to think a dying person need a two month drug rehab program, let alone be denied by that criteria. And to think that if you have a condition that's bad enough to merit medicine, let alone marijuana, that things have to get worse before they can get better.

Weekend Repeater

The pursuit of Spring and it's cleaning continues this weekend, as all things old are new again still old and won't go away. Like that fact that Florida must constantly be on the brink of total social and civil collapse. In less than a day I've seen three separate stories about the state's government officials and their parade of time wasting and idiotic legislation, and I worry that if they're not entirely as ass-backwards with their thoughts and justification that they really do represent the will and wants of the people.

The latest insult to the process of legislation would allow public school teachers to challenge evolution with "scientific information" under a bill that passed their senate. How? The measure would prohibit school officials from punishing teachers who offer opposing views to evolution, like intelligent design or biblical theories, since the bill loosely defines the permitted information to include the ambiguous "germane current facts" and "data".

Supporters say the Evolution Academic Freedom Act would simply allow a free exchange of ideas that question as well as support evolution. "Could it be? Can't we ask that question?" No, you fucking idiots, you can't. The key issue is the bill would ultimately permit the teaching of creationism and intelligent design - and holding that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an "intelligent cause'' or more blatantly, were created by God doesn't belong in the public school system. Period. And yet, this debate shows up every few months in the Bible Belt like a rash on a frat boy's junk.

I'm putting it out there for debate - drop Florida from the union and put Puerto Rico in. You don't even have to change the flag! Think about it... And just to balance it out with something that won't make you want to crawl inside your head and die, here's Fugazi and "Repeater"

Just Because It's Friday

Flaming topless shopping cart walking robot.

Deez Nutz

Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state. Because taxpayers really need to waste their money paying the salary of state officials who are not afraid to tackle the big, important issues.

No surprise that it's from a Republican who finds the adornments offensive, but I was shocked to find our that when Cary Baker proposed the ban, he is a gun shop, which in Florida, sounds exactly like the type of douche to have a fake set on the back of his vehicle. According to the bill, motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by classy brand names like "Truck Nutz" and "Bull Balls".

The Florida Senate voted last week to add the measure to a broader transportation bill, but it is not included in the House version, some it is questionable where this terrific provision will reach the voting stages - and the bill's own sponsor believes it would not pass. In debate, the uptight lawmakers got to make comments laced with double entendre and questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories. How titillating they've made stuffy, boring government!

Critics of the ban included the senate's own Rules chairman, Jim King, (strangely also) a Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested. Looks like she does have have his balls...

Frisky Dingo

It's the epic story of good versus evil...except good is a lecherous playboy superhero and evil is an inept alien with parenting concerns. But what else is Frisky Dingo?

Xander Crews is a Bruce Wayne/Tony Stark-like billionaire who also happens to be the heroic Awesome-X, and with his Xtacles, a band of hetero-questionable mercenary super soldiers, have cleaned up the super-villain menace in town...yet he doesn't want to retire. Conveniently, Killface is constructing the Annihilatrix, a device designed to propel the Earth directly into the sun. However, having spent $20 billion developing the Annihilatrix, Killface has insufficient funds for a media buy with which to market his global takeover. And that's just the beginning...

What ensues are (multiple) kidnappings, a hostile corporate takeover, radioactive mutations, underground animal fights, sex with prostitutes, a trip to Las Vegas, gene splicing, Department of Labor investigations, violent blindings, nudity, slave labor, competing news stations, commentary on health care, pottery, unrequited love, LARP gaming, and general mayhem. And that's just the first season.

Frisky Dingo just wrapped up it's second season skewering the traditional hero and villain conventions with the precision and savvy of cartoon comedy veterans - which comes from the fact that the sick minds from Sealab 2021 are behind it. Find out what "master cylinder" is all about, and go "BOOSH" over Frisky Dingo.

EA 43

A happy birthday to Eric Avery of Jane's Addiction, Deconstruction, and Polar Bear, who turns 43 today and gives me one more reason to post more clips from their one-off award show reunion the other night.

"Mountain Song"

"Stop!"

New York Real Estate Is Retarded

What does $801,000 get you in Manhattan these days? 800 square feet with 20-foot-high ceilings and two windows - but there's a catch: it's a basement that is not zoned for living in.

Where a studio can be as small as 300 square feet and the median price for an apartment is more than $850,000, there's nothing like the exorbitant waste of money by New York's elite. The Dakota, best known as the home of John Lennon and the scene of his 1980 assassination, routinely sells it's Central Park overlooking apartments for many millions of dollars, but the basement was the prize for hedge fund manager John Angelo. Angelo and his wife already live at the Dakota, and acquired the basement space from a departing resident who sold their apartment for $20.5 million and dealt the storage room separately. Due to the ridiculous quest for square footage a 100 to 200sq. foot storage room could easily sell for $150,000 to $350,000 if it had a sink or its own toilet.

He plans to turn the room into a small gym and open it up for use by other residents of the building, which, for all its luxury, doesn't have a common exercise room. Nice...New York City's homeless thank you!

IVBC Hangover

As memory serves, today we'd all be nursing a hangover from the Kid Power CD release party at the Isla Vista Brewing Company. Ten years ago.

If you were there, damn! And if you weren't, what the hell?

The boys from MAGNA Kid Power had recently finished up recording and mixing sessions in the home studios of (Ugly Kid Joe guitarist and future Evanescence producer) Dave Fortman for their debut album, "We're Joking...Seriously", and were looking at options for showcasing the songs. While there were still a few venues left in downtown Santa Barbara, the band opted for a more local approach. Having cut their teeth around Isla Vista playing for countless thousands embedded in the local party scene, playing in their backyard make perfect sense.

The Isla Vista Brewing Company was built on the same hallowed grounds of the Bank Of America that was torched in 1970 during an anti-war protest / riot and the Anaconda, an intimate concert venue that saw some high profile musical acts come through before closing in the early 90s. IVBC came in and turned the massive space into a combination billiard parlor and microbrewery. Tucked into the back was a set of risers that functioned as a stage whenever a live act dared venture into the establishment as KP did.

The show itself was recorded (which may still see the light of day in the future) and featured not only tracks from over the years Kid Power had played, but plenty of interaction with the crowd, ranging from insults and jokes (claiming reference to The Color Of Money, local musicians 40oz Band, and the freshly buried Linda McCartney) to choreographed dancers getting in on the performance action.

THE SET LIST : 04 - 23 - 98

Carnival Man *
Breather *
Dirt Party
Okay *
What The Crab Hears *
Brother *
Slappy
Maq'lmakia
Butter For Your Bratwurst *
Lintflicker
Godskill *
Fjord *
Helicopter *
The Fist *

(* denotes album track)

not from IVBC, but one of the coolest pictures of KP ever

Unbelievable Florida

Once again, Florida is like a deformed, useless clubbed appendage on this nation.

Florida drivers can order more than 100 specialty license plates celebrating everything from manatees to the Miami Heat, but one now under consideration would be the first in the nation to explicitly promote a specific religion. Praise the lord!

The Florida Legislature is considering a specialty plate with a design that includes a Christian cross, a stained-glass window and the words "I Believe." Rep. Edward Bullard, the plate's sponsor, said people who "believe in their college or university" or "believe in their football team" already have license plates they can buy. The new design is a chance for others to put a tag on their cars with "something they believe in," he said. Sorry, friend-o, but when was the last time you heard somebody pray to U of Miami? You're a little confused between support and belief.

If the plate was approved, Florida would become the first state to have a license plate featuring a religious symbol that's not part of a college logo - an approval that would almost certainly face a court challenge. Just take it from the free speech and personal rights mavens at the ACLU. Their Florida chapter clearly points out the problem with the state manufacturing the plate is that it "sends a message that Florida is essentially a Christian state" and, second, gives the "appearance that the state is endorsing a particular religious preference".

This terrible idea has even rankled other Jesus-lovin' members of the legislature. Rep. Kelly Skidmore said she is a Roman Catholic, who believes the "I Believe" plate is inappropriate for the government to produce. "It's not a road I want to go down. I don't want to see the Star of David next. I don't want to see a Torah next. None of that stuff is appropriate to me. I just believe that," she said. She stopped short of praising the Nazi war effort and discussing the Zionist conspiracy, a road she would have gone down.

And this isn't the first time a Florida license plate design has created religious controversy. In 1999, lawmakers approved a bright yellow "Choose Life" license plate with a picture of a boy and girl. It raises money for agencies that encourage women to not have abortions. That generated a court battle, with abortion rights groups saying the plate had religious overtones. But it was ruled legal, and about a dozen states now have similar plates. No "Choose Death" plate was ever offered, which I think is a shame.

A "Trust God" license plate was proposed in Florida in 2003. It would have given money to Christian radio stations and charities, but was never produced. Earlier this year, a legislative committee was shown an image of a "Trinity" plate that showed a Christlike figure with his arms outstretched. It and two other plates were voted down.

Another problem clouding the issue is Florida's specialty license plates require the payment of additional fees, and some of which go to causes the plates endorse. That's cool if you want to support wildlife or firefighters, but what about secular institutions? A plate approved in 2004 displaying the motto "Family Values," funds Sheridan House, which provides family programs but also sees its purpose as "sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Bible" and "information about the Christian faith". This will clearly be used to bolster the pro-Jesus plate-rists.

Piggybacked on the bill creating the "I Believe" plate, an "In God We Trust" plate to benefit the children of soldiers and law enforcement officers whose parents have died would come about. It also could face opposition as a violation of the separation of church and state, though an Indiana plate with the same "In God We Trust" phrase was challenged by the ACLU, but courts so far have deemed it legal, arguing that it is comparable with other specialty plates.

Back on the side of reason, the ACLU said approval of the plate could prompt many other groups to seek their own designs, and they could claim discrimination if their plans were rejected. Never mind those awful Jews, think about the ability for the Ku Klux Klan to get a plate. Or don't. Bullard, the plate's sponsor, isn't sure all groups should be able to express their preference. If atheists came up with an "I Don't Believe" plate, for example, he would probably oppose it. Y'see, that's how the bible-thumpers in the panhandle state roll - liberty, justice, and equality for themselves, because they're clearly right when everybody else isn't. Remember that little episode called The Crusades 800 years ago? How can you be wrong backing Jesus?

Florida, why isn't it enough for you to be able to force your religious beliefs on my eyes by displaying your Jesus fish, seagulls, crosses, praying Calvins, Ιησους, WWJD symbols and stickers on your car?

It's Not A Compound

If one good thing came out of busting up the polygamist compound in Texas, it's this creepy, yet catchy video remix of some of the sect mothers in an interview. Or freeing underage kids being sexually abused. Take your pick.

Golden Breakbeats

Mathematician Michael Schneider saw a wave form of the well-known drum sequence known as the Amen Break (a drum sequence performed by Gregory Coleman of The Winstons), which has been sampled and used by countless artists since it was recorded in the 60s. Schneider, seeing the waveform through the eyes of a math professor, recognized a pattern, a relationship called the Golden Ratio. So he began to analyze the drum sequence and its deeper meaning...

Check out the results.

Godlike Genius

NME, the revered English music mag, has bestowed the legendary Jane's Addiction with the Godlike Genius Award, which is worth mentioning because it got Eric Avery to rejoin Stephen Perkins, Perry Farrell, and Dave Navarro on stage for the first time in over 16 years.

The quality of the vid is phone-level, but you get to see and hear the band reunited, which is cool as hell. Will post more / better quality when they end up on the web.

Googlesquater

Is the reason Google stock is worth so much due to the fact they own a ton of web address? Monitoring service Pingdom has put together a list of thousands of .com domain names owned by Google, based on an analysis of the root zone file. And not all of them are what you'd expect to be relevant. Here's a sampling:

* 30dayfitness.com
* bayareaburritos.com
* donationcard.com
* essentialmommy.com
* greengardengifts.com
* mariolovespasta.com
* thesecretofburritos.com
* goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle.com
* google4kids.com
* googlebackups.com
* googlejokes.com
* googlelovers.com
* googlereligion.com
* googlefaith.com
* googledaycare.com
* bankgoogle.com
* checkoutsucks.com
* dejastinks.com
* frooglesucks.com
* fuckengoogle.com
* gmailblows.com
* gmailsucks.com
* googlemotherfucker.com
* googlepoo.com
* googlesucks.com
* errorpageassist.com

Head here, zoom in and read the full list - 261 pages worth.

Fuck The Earth Day

(courtesy H.R.M. Idle Eyes The See-Thru)

Nutri-eugenics

Clothes make the man, but what makes a boy? Cereal and bananas.

According to new research, what a woman eats before pregnancy influences the gender of her baby. Having a hearty appetite, eating potassium-rich foods including bananas, and not skipping breakfast all seemed to raise the odds of having a boy. The British research is billed as the first in humans to show a link between a woman's diet and whether she has a boy or girl.

Though it is not proof, it fits with evidence from test tube fertilization that male embryos thrive best with longer exposure to nutrient-rich lab cultures. The findings also fit with fertility research showing that male embryos aren't likely to survive in lab cultures with low sugar levels. Skipping meals can result in low blood sugar levels. While men's sperm determine a baby's gender, it could be that certain nutrients or eating patterns make women's bodies more hospitable to sperm carrying the male chromosome.

The research involved about 700 first-time pregnant women in the United Kingdom who didn't know the sex of their fetuses. They were asked about their eating habits in the year before getting pregnant. Among women with the highest calorie intake before pregnancy (but still within a normal, healthy range), 56% had boys, versus 45%of the women with the lowest calorie intake (again, wonky stats with 101% total, but that's science). Women who ate at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily were 87%more likely to have boys than those who ate no more than one bowlful per week. Cereal is a typical breakfast in Britain and in the study, eating very little cereal was considered a possible sign of skipping breakfast.

Compared with the women who had girls, those who had boys ate an additional 300 milligrams of potassium daily on average, giving credence to the old wives' tale that if you eat bananas you'll have a boy. Women who had boys also ate about 400 calories more daily than those who had girls, on average.

This research is silent on the circumstances that created Lake Bell.

on the red carpet for Dude, Where's My Floral Arrangement

That Ol' Black Magic

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Yes, that's how it goes on the dark continent.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Also, a high population live without electricity or running water - go figure.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. Excellent! A good, old fashioned word-of-mouth panic!

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure. And the repercussions were serious.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," said police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko. Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. All 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said. I'm tempted to agree. "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members. Because real political dissent and retaliation is best served on the penis of your enemy. "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station. Well, there you have it - an adult who sells phone cards saw a man's small penis. Proof indeed!

Dearth Day

The well ran dry a long time ago for Weezer, yet they're still manning the pump, trying to squeeze out every last drop of music for their alt-emo-indie-whatever cult. Stop. Please, just stop.

While super-geeked out Pitchfork devotees will complain that they peaked with their sophomore Pinkerton, it's like debating which calculus theorem is the most enjoyable - it doesn't matter. Their first, genius titled album, Weezer, has the kick ass "Say It Ain't So", but "Undone", "Buddy Holly", and "My Name Is Jonas" take about a listen and a half to grow tired of. Thankfully, they've spent more than a decade following the same formula, making hipster-grade, wink-nudge aren't-we-clever tunes.

If the same 4/4 guitar riffs and Silverlake cool lyrics don't grow tiring, how 'about triplicating an album called Weezer? Oh, but this one is the "red" (sixth) one, not the "blue (debut) or "green" (third) album. And no, it's not the least bit pretentious that songwriter Rivers Cuomo self-imposed celibacy for two years while getting his degree at Harvard, or has a fetish for Asian girls. I want to throat-punch people when I hear their music.

And why so irate? The new Weezer album photo came out, causing a flood of bottled up disgust and scorn for their recycled music. They're like the AC-DC of alternative music...even though they look like the the new Village People.

The Bartender, the Professor, the Cowboy, and the Biker

Weezer sucks.

Berth Day

In what is being hailed as more of a turning point in the presidential race than (not-so) Super Tuesday, Hillary Clinton and Barack "Barry" Obama face off in the Pennsylvania primary, the last of the big-state contests.

With 158 delegates at stake, Pennsylvania offers the largest prize remaining in a primary season that ends on June 3. Obama begins with a delegate lead, 1648.5 to 1509.5, out of 2,025 needed to win the nomination, but said he expected to lose, though narrowly, and works to limit any gains Clinton makes in the delegate chase. For her part, Clinton dismissed the notion that she needed a blowout victory to quell doubts about her candidacy.

Clinton's aides disputed suggestions she would prevail by a double-digit margin. Beyond that, a defeat for Clinton could spell the end of her candidacy, but a sizable win would strengthen her claim to being the stronger general election opponent, an argument she has made to superdelegates who hold the balance of power at the party convention in Denver in August.

The primary has been unusual due to the intense campaigning normally reserved for the early voting states of Iowa and New Hampshire. Philly cheesesteaks were commonplace for both candidates. Obama went bowling as he reached out for the support of working-class voters, while Clinton showed her blue-collar bona fides with a shot of Crown Royal and a beer chaser. Nearly $16 million was spent on television ads, although, Obama out purchased Clinton nearly 3 to 1.

The remaining Democratic contests are primaries in North Carolina, Indiana, Oregon, Kentucky, West Virginia, Montana, South Dakota and Puerto Rico, and caucuses in Guam -- all of which may take some significance as the day's results play out. A victory for Obama effectively kills Clinton's campaign, and defeat for Obama makes Clinton the hot forerunner.

UPDATE: Hilary delivered under pressure and took the state, keeping the race for the presidency a one party affair.

Earth Day

Captain Bad Ass sent this over, and just in time for Earth Day. Artist Chris Jordan's Running The Numbers is beautiful macro art and also socially conscious.

This series looks at contemporary American culture through the austere lens of statistics. Each image portrays a specific quantity of something: fifteen million sheets of office paper (five minutes of paper use); 106,000 aluminum cans (thirty seconds of can consumption) and so on. My hope is that images representing these quantities might have a different effect than the raw numbers alone, such as we find daily in articles and books. Statistics can feel abstract and anesthetizing, making it difficult to connect with and make meaning of 3.6 million SUV sales in one year, for example, or 2.3 million Americans in prison, or 410,000 paper cups used every fifteen minutes. This project visually examines these vast and bizarre measures of our society, in large intricately detailed prints assembled from thousands of smaller photographs. The underlying desire is to emphasize the role of the individual in a society that is increasingly enormous, incomprehensible, and overwhelming.

My only caveat about this series is that the prints must be seen in person to be experienced the way they are intended. As with any large artwork, their scale carries a vital part of their substance which is lost in these little web images. Hopefully the JPEGs displayed here might be enough to arouse your curiosity to attend an exhibition, or to arrange one if you are in a position to do so. The series is a work in progress, and new images will be posted as they are completed.

Currently I am working on three new Running the Numbers sub-series that I am hoping to release this fall and winter. Experts in these fields are helping me to develop issues and visual themes, but I welcome additional ideas from scholars or activists in any of these areas:

-THE WORLD'S OCEANS: This series will look at the numbers associated with the exploitation and destruction of our oceans, including issues such as overfishing, illegal fishing, by-catch, ghost nets, shark finning, bottom trawling, and plastic pollution.

-AFRICA: This series will depict numbers related to contemporary Africa, including issues such as refugees, water-borne disease, child pregnancy and others, as well as some more hopeful issues such as African internet and cell phone usage, micro-lending and some others. This series will be featured at the TED Africa Conference in Capetown in September-October.

-THE EXTINCTION TRADE: This series will look at statistics associated with the worldwide mass killing and trading of animals for their tusks, horns, eggs, paws, teeth, fur, etc.

Plastic Bottles, 2007
60x120"
Depicts two million plastic beverage bottles, the number used in the US every five minutes.




Jet Trails, 2007
60x96"
Depicts 11,000 jet trails, equal to the number of commercial flights in the US every eight hours.



Pain Killers, 2007
60x63"
Depicts 213,000 Vicodin pills, equal to the number of emergency room visits yearly in the US related to misuse or abuse of prescription pain killers.

Girth Day

I didn't realize how healthy I was.

Frequent masturbation may help men cut their risk of contracting prostate cancer, Australian researchers have found. They believe that carcinogens may build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly. The researchers surveyed more than 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer, and 1,250 men who had not. They found that men who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to get cancer. Men who ejaculated more than five times each week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer.

Sexual intercourse may not have the same effect because of the higher risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, which could in turn raise the risk of cancer. "Had we been able to remove ejaculations associated with sexual intercourse, there should have been an even stronger protective effect of ejaculations," said the lead researchers. I bet there's a lot of teenage mothers who also hoped to remove the ejaculation associated with sexual intercourse.

The prostate produces a fluid that is incorporated into ejaculation, which activates sperm and prevents them from sticking together. Studies on animals have shown that carcinogens like 3-methylchloranthrene can be harbored in the prostate. Frequent ejaculation encourages the cancer-inducing fluids to "flush out". Attention teenage boys, you now have an excuse - use it!

Poor Art Reception?

Pippa Bacca, a performance artist from Italy who hitchhiked throughout Europe wearing a wedding dress to spread a message of peace and "marriage between different peoples and nations" was found dead in Turkey, raped and murdered by a mentally ill man who offered her a ride:

Her naked body was found on April 11 in some bushes near a Turkish village after a suspect led investigators to the site. Although an official cause of death has not been given, local Turkish authorities said Ms. Bacca had been raped and strangled. The killing has stirred broad public anger and grief in Turkey and Italy. Still, what Ms. Bacca would have wanted, her family and friends said, was her message of peace to live on.

“She thought that in the world there were more positive than negative people, and that it was right to be trusting,” said Rosalia Pasqualino, a sister of Ms. Bacca, whose real name was Giuseppina Pasqualino di Marineo. “Trust is a very human factor, and she believed that to understand people, you had to get to know them.”

Pretty much the worst way to figure that lesson out.

Dick Quest

The park used to be such a nice place to take a stroll.

CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park in the early morning with a bag of methamphetamines in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot.

Quest was arrested at around 3:40 a.m. after a cop spotted him and another man inside the park near 64th Street. The criminal complaint against Quest noted the park was closed at the time - something Quest should have clearly known because of all the signs saying "Park Closed 1 a.m. to 6 a.m." According to the New York Post, "it wasn't immediately clear what the rope was for".

Are you kidding? With a sex toy and meth, having a rope tied to your junk is hard to figure out?

He was charged with loitering and criminal possession of a controlled substance. His unusual get-up didn't lead to a lewdness charge because he wasn't exposing himself, a police source said. Quest's unidentified companion was given a summons for not carrying any identification.

"Mr. Quest didn't realize that the park had a curfew," said his lawyer. He was simply "returning to his hotel with friends."

Quest agreed to undergo six months of drug counseling in return for an "adjournment in contemplation of dismissal," which means the misdemeanor charges against him will be dropped and the case sealed if he completes his drug program and stays out of trouble - like not having his crank tied to his neck while planning on getting high and putting things in offices.

Quest, known for his hollering antics and stunts on the cable news network and its international counterpart, can now be known for kinky, drug fueled gay sex. Now true to his official CNN bio, he is, as the network calls him "one of the most instantly recognizable members of the CNN team". And to think he was once reportedly offered a position for the English-language version of the Al Jazeera network, but turned it down because being gay and Jewish, it would not be a good fit.

No Thanks Hamas

What's worse - negotiating demands for statehood with a rogue group of terrorists, or a rogue negotiator without authority?

Radical Islamic group Hamas said it would accept the establishment of a Palestinian state on land occupied by Israel in the 1967 Middle East war, but it was not prepared to recognize the Jewish state. That's great, but...nobody is offering.

"We accept a state on the June 4 line with Jerusalem as capital, real sovereignty and full right of return for refugees but without recognizing Israel," Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal said, referring to the borders as they stood before the 1967 war. Give you Jerusalem and have you not acknowledge the country whose land you'll be occupying and neighboring? Oh, that's likely. This comes after two meetings in Damascus over the weekend with former president Jimmy Carter.

Washington, which refuses to deal with Hamas and has not backed Carter's mission at all, said it saw no change in the group's positions. An Israeli government spokesman also said the Jewish state was unimpressed by the Hamas statement. And naturally, since they refuse to a unilateral ceasefire with Israel to end the violence threatening the selfsame peace efforts. Hamas doesn't even want to get cozy with Palestinians. Refugees living in exile returning to any future Palestinian state in the West Bank and Gaza Strip as would be viewed as "transitional."

Carter, who helped negotiate a 1979 peace treaty between Israel and Egypt, must be living in past glory and under delusion thinking he's going to fix the problem. He claims that excluding Hamas, which the United States, Israel and the European Union brand a terrorist group (read: every important nation in Western civilization), "is just not working."

"The problem is that Israel and the United States refuse to meet with these people, who must be involved."

Wrong, Jimmy. There's no place at the table for terrorists without a country to sit and try to carve themselves a piece of land under threat of their own actions. It's the same reason every backwoods militia and militant faction in the mountains doesn't get to make New Freedonia on U.S. soil. And nobody wants to deal with them because they're an extremist faction of terrorists, not a legitimate group. While you're hoping to be relevant before you take a dirt nap, you're way the fuck out of line. Both Israel and the U.S. don't back what you're doing, so figure out why that may be. It's not like being the friend trying to get a couple back together - it's a little more complicated, and meddling won't help nor is it welcome.

Mr. Lonely

Harmony Korine comes across as a creepy, perverse manchild and it's no surprise his films are equally bizarre. His latest is Mister Lonely, which about a Michael Jackson impersonator who lives in Paris who doesn't speak the language. He meets a Marylin Monrow impersonator who has him come to a commune in Scotland where only impersonators live. There's also some bit about nuns who jump out of planes without parachutes to test their faith. Lynch fans may like this stuff, but if you don't like the smell of art house theaters, the stink of this film won't appeal to you. I just thought I'd put it up after a particularly rambling recounting on the radio this morning by the filmmaker about traveling with a Panamanian fishing cult who were looking for a magic fish and hanging out in gay bars in the jungle. Yeah, I don't even need to mention the invisible dog leash, do I?

Thine Enemy Defeated

With my Kings out of the postseason (since around the halfway point), only one thing would bring me happiness:

The Anaheim Ducks ousted from the playoffs.

While I have little love for Dallas, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and the Stars killed any hope of a repeat cup victory for the Mighty Ducks (not that it was expected by other, more respectable sports prognosticators). The choke artists Dallas hadn’t won a playoff series since the first-rounder against Edmonton in 2003 and hadn’t closed a winning round at home since the conference finals all the way back in 2000. The Ducks are the fifth straight defending Stanley Cup champions to fail to make the second round.

Especially pleasant is the failure for Scott Niedermayer, last year’s postseason MVP, who retired then decided to return to chase another Cup. "It’s disappointing because we believe we could do better.” Y'think so? The same goes for Teemu Selanne, who sat over half the season out pondering retirement. “I think we didn’t do things as good as we could," he said, with the aplomb of a man who took an extra four months off and played half as many games as his teammates. You'd both be less douchey if you'd just stayed away all year or showed up with everybody else on day one. But no...couldn't be happy going out on top.

Enjoy the rest of the playoffs, boys. On the sideline.

Spring Cleaning Weekend

This would be a good time to start emptying out those cupboards, drawers, and closets for some cleaning. Just sayin'...

AVP

No, not Aliens versus Predator - Adidas versus Puma

Adidas and Puma are among the most recognized brands in the world, but neither might exist if not for a bitter rivalry between two brothers from a little-known village in Germany. In the 1920s, Adolf (Adi) Dassler, a soft-spoken sports fanatic who spent hours working on shoe designs in his workshop, and Rudolf Dassler, a gregarious salesman, started a small shoemaking business in the Bavarian enclave of Herzogenaurach, focusing primarily on hand-sewn athletic footwear. But as their business took off, the two brothers grew increasingly frustrated with each other. They disagreed on everything from politics, the future of the company and one another's choice in wives.

Finally, in the mid-1940s Rudolf left in a huff and set up a rival shop across the river, while Adi remained in the initial plant. His company was renamed Adidas, and in 1948 Rudolf registered his new company, Puma. Here's a little Q&A with author of the new book Sneaker Wars, about how a family feud spawned two of the biggest brands in global sports:

Q: Most people wearing Pumas or Adidas today likely have no idea that two estranged German brothers founded the companies. How did you become interested in their story?
Barbara Smit, author: I didn't know it either, actually. I'd been wearing Adidas all my life and had no idea. But I was sent to Herzogenaurach, Germany [where both companies are based] by a French magazine to write a feature ahead of the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. I began to find out more about this story of the two brothers, [and it had] all the elements of what makes a good story: family drama, the intimate rivalry between the two brothers in a very closed setting, two international brands, and all of it set in the world of sports.

What was the extent of the brothers' involvement in the Nazi Party, and how much of a role do you think that had to do with their split?
It was very difficult for any German company during those times to continue to operate without having some kind of links with the party, especially if it involved sports, which was very much at the heart of the Nazi propaganda machine. The Dasslers had ties with the sports hierarchy … It certainly helped in gaining access to the Olympic grounds in 1936 when they had this superb linkup with Jesse Owens.

That was a real coup for their shoe business, but it must have been a controversial decision at the time to pursue an African-American who was competing against the Germans for the gold.
Adi just had this obsession with sports at the complete exclusion of anything else. He just picked Jesse Owens out because he was a fabulous athlete. But in the end the entire environment of the war and politics really tore the brothers apart, and the involvement of their wives [who did not get along] brought it to a boiling point.

When each decided to form his own company, the original names were created by using the first two letters of the first names: Addas and Ruda. How did they become Adidas and Puma?
There was actually a children's shoe brand with the name Addas, so Adi added an i. In Rudolf's case, his marketing flair and his assistants probably told him that Ruda wasn't very inspiring. So he changed it.

Adidas quickly became a much larger company than its rival. Where did Puma go wrong?
One of the critical failures for Puma was that Rudolf had an argument with the coach of the German soccer team, and that allowed Adidas an opening before the 1954 World Cup, where, completely against all odds, West Germany won against Hungary … Adi Dassler was in all the [newspaper] pictures; he was everywhere. And the Adidas black boots with the stripes were on all the players. From that moment on they received letters from around the world from people wanting to sell Adidas in other countries. As good as the Puma boots were, it would take many years to build up its international business.

In many ways the rise of Adidas as an international company is the story of the rise of sports as an international business. How big a role do you think Adidas played in the growth of the sports industry?
Undeniably, when Adidas came along, sport wasn't a daily pastime. It was seen as frivolous and Europeans concentrated on just a couple of sports—particularly gymnastics and soccer. Today sports participation is huge and part of the global lifestyle, not to mention that we're wearing sneakers to go buy groceries. The whole practice of sports has been woven into weekly if not daily routines. The other aspect I find perhaps even more fascinating is how Horst [Adi's son] sold sports events as an advertising platform. He sold sports, not just sports apparel. He made contracts with sports federations and the Olympic committees and was involved in selling the World Cup [to sponsors].

I know Horst died prematurely. Now only one family member remains involved in either company, right?
Frank Dassler, the grandson of Rudolf Dassler, is the only one. At one point he was head of Puma USA, and he's now been appointed head of legal affairs at Adidas.

He crossed the river!
Yes. It caused a bit of a storm. But it really symbolizes that things are a bit more rational these days.

Do any remaining family members regret that they're not more involved now?
The comments I heard were that they wanted to put it behind them. It was such a struggle. They were constantly fighting. There was so much unpleasantness in the family between the brothers and between Horst and his parents and sisters. It was such a tense family environment that they were eager to just let it rest. There's bitterness among [Adi's children] that they sold in a rush, because they believed that Adidas in the late 1980s was really threatened.

Adidas is now the second-largest sports apparel company in the world, and owns Reebok, but at one time it lagged way behind Reebok. How did it turn around?
Adidas made the terrible mistake of saying it was not interested in jogging, and then aerobics became huge and Adidas and Nike both made the mistake of saying they were not interested in aerobics. They completely missed out on these trends, but Reebok didn't. Within about three years Reebok went from revenues of a couple hundred million to several billion. It continued on that way for years. But then Reebok lost its way. And Adidas, for all its mistakes, never lost its way as badly as that … Through it all, Adidas has remained in the consciousness as a solid sports brand. Reebok doesn't have that, either as a sports or lifestyle brand.

How are Puma's prospects now?
The French conglomerate PPR, which owns Gucci, has now acquired it. A few years ago it was being sold in bazaars and people had declared it dead, and it is now being named in the same breath as Gucci … That repositioning will probably be taught to MBA students for several years.

As a business case, what are the most important lessons we can draw from the history of Puma and Adidas? What has made them such enduring brands?
At the beginning of the story, there's always a great product. Puma has survived its worst years because it had a great soccer boot. It's the same story for Adidas; it just makes great products. Another interesting lesson is that you need great enemies. I don't think either company would be where it is today if it hadn't been stimulated by the rivalry with the other.