What Part Of 'Do Not Call' Wasn’t Clear?

The Federal Trade Commission, when they’re not arbitrarily deciding fines for whatever irks their Puritan sensibilities, are dicking around with your phone sanctity.

The five year “do not call” listing is set to expire in June 2008, and numbers will automatically start to drop off…unless consumers enroll again.

"It is incredibly quick and easy to do," said Lydia Parnes, head parrot of the FTC's bureau of consumer protection. "It was so easy for people to sign up in the first instance. It will be just as easy for them to re-up." So easy that they could just as well not have names drop off the list.

That same reasonable train of logic is why some lawmakers think it is a hassle to expect people to re-register their phone numbers every five years. Rep. Mike Doyle, says people should not be forced to re-register to keep telemarketers at bay. He introduced legislation this week to make registrations permanent.

"When someone takes the time and effort to say 'I don't want these kinds of calls coming into my house,' they shouldn't have to keep a calendar to find out when they have to re-up to keep this nuisance from happening.”

Of course, the FTC won’t leave that kind of sensible thinking unchallenged. That’s why they claim they built the five-year expiration date into the program -- to account for changes, such as people who move and switch their phone number.

"Just like a regular person who needs to clean out their address book every so often, the commission felt that was something that was important to do with the registry," explained Parnes. Well said, lackey.

Doyle, however, correctly points out that the list is purged each month of numbers that have been disconnected and reassigned to new customers. That’s right, the FTC is full of…excuses.

You see, telemarketers are required to pay an annual subscription fee to access the FTC list so those numbers can be blocked from their dial-out programs. The companies also must update their own calling lists every 31 days to ensure there are no numbers from the registry on them. The annual subscription fee for the list costs $62 for each area code, or $17,050 for access to all U.S. numbers on the list. Since the program’s inception, $59 million has been paid to access the database.

Considering companies face fines of up to $11,000 for each violation of the numbers on the list, it still doesn’t make sense for the FTC to not keep the list ongoing. Then again, why mess with their long standing tradition of not being up with the times? Forward thinking is not for everyone.